CHAPTER 49
DAVINA
Now
EVER SO SLOWLY, each jagged, broken piece of the puzzle snaps into place, forming a picture abysmally different from the one I believed to be true just minutes ago.
In this one, the tabs and slots aren’t perfectly matched, but forced into the other.
Sharp edges mercilessly digging into tabs and corners, with splinters coming out in every direction.
Captain Zephyr Kentar is with the Sapless.
The Sapless, who killed my mother. The Sapless, who I’ve spent a lifetime hating.
The Sapless, who I’ve hunted since the moment I was licensed to hold a gun.
The Sapless, who I was led to believe fought to erase all sap from existence, but I have since begun to wonder if they fight for justice and a better world.
Zephyr was with the Sapless, and knew where the alleged stash—that wasn’t a stash at all—was hidden from the start. He was with the damned Sapless every time our progress was hindered and every time he pretended to despise them. Every time I omitted the truth of how I felt about them in this room.
He was with the Sapless when he carved his way into my heart. When he held me like he was afraid of losing me. When he kissed me goodbye, knowing full well the breach between us was well beyond salvageable. Far larger than I could have imagined.
And then, like wood striking stone, it clicks.
He wasn’t pushing for my thoughts on the Sapless so that I’d reveal myself a traitor and make things easier to get rid of me without repercussions. He was asking to discern if I could be trusted. To assess if I could be forgiven. Maybe, with time, even to convince me to join his cause.
Bleeding sap.
It’s hard to breathe. I feel so incredibly stupid.
Never, in all my years as a centurion, have I felt this shaken. This powerless.
Zephyr Kentar has staged this entire sapdamned interrogation to try and find a sign that I could be redeemed.
That’s why disappointment flashed in his eyes every time.
I’d been so stubbornly passing all the signs for rejoice and victory, and all along, he was pushing me to admit a change in loyalty in order to spare me.
And I’ve failed. Miserably.
For the first time since I was brought here, my shoulders slump in defeat. The force keeping me upright dissolves, my weight falling against the couch’s backrest. Pain lances from my shoulders to the raw skin beneath the cuffs, but I can’t bring myself to care.
I’ve gotten it all wrong. Time and again.
If I was a different kind of woman, I’d plead my case; explain how I misread the situation, how I hid the truth to avoid more punishment. But if the past hour has proven anything, it’s that I’m not as clever as I thought myself to be.
Or calculating. Or cunning.
Or maybe I am.
Zephyr’s words echo in my mind. You would turn your back on everything to save your skin, no questions and no regrets.
For two days, that was the image I wanted to sell, in hopes of hiding my confused heart. Every question, every word I spoke . . . I was so careful not to give them any reason to pry, aware of the truth-teller’s presence in the room.
And now, it’s far too late to do anything.
Besides, he’s at least partly right. When the risk of capture loomed in those catacombs, aiding the Sapless fell far down my list of priorities.
I wanted to save myself. Then, maybe, find Leonidas and confess.
Which, again, would’ve only served to ease my guilt of bringing Sircelen’s lab into the hands of the very system they’d fought so hard to protect it from, but would’ve done nothing for them.
No matter where I look, the damage is done.
Every time I thought I was shoveling sand into the hole I’d fallen into, I was actually digging deeper under my feet, carving my own grave.
What’s done is done.
I could keep spiraling, let myself get caught in the endless web of what ifs and would-it-have-made-a-difference ifs.
My mum’s voice echoes faintly in the darkest recesses of my mind, cracked and fuzzy around the edges. The ‘would haves’ are the hill where the future goes to die, my sweet girl.
Only this time, both the future and I will go to die on the proverbial hill—irrespective of the would haves.
It’s high time I accept it. Time to face my demise.
With a sharp intake of air, I straighten, pushing my shoulders back. I don’t lift my chin. Don’t have it in me anymore. One by one, I meet their eyes, examining them in the light of what I now know.
These people . . . they are all part of the Sapless.
The truth-teller, with her ever-watchful eyes and quiet elegance. The large man, twitching with ever-burning nerves. Leonidas, who looks at me with a mix of pity and understanding that makes nausea coil in my gut.
And Zephyr.
Zephyr, who I judged so wrongly.
Zephyr, who was all along fighting for a better world.
Zephyr, who saved me, time and again. Who, one last time, tried to save me from myself, to no avail.
Zephyr, who I fell for so easily, even when I knew I shouldn’t. Even when it shouldn’t have been possible.
Our gazes collide, and I swear the entire world trembles in response.
It’s no surprise, really, when I search for all the resentment I’ve felt toward him . . . and find it gone. Only a hollow, throbbing ache remains. One I don’t have the words to name.
And then something clicks.
The sentient.
The truth-teller is still here, sitting rod-straight, assessing everything that’s written on my face like even in that she could discern truth from lies. And I’ll gladly take it.
“It wasn’t a lie!” The words spear through my captors like a physical strike. “I want to help.”
The room holds its breath, the air suddenly so tense that I fear it’ll slice us all in two.
The verdict comes down like the swing of an executioner’s axe.
“Truth.”
Zephyr’s eyes collide with mine, a hundred emotions within those irises I’ll never be able to erase from my soul.
Whatever he sees in my face has his features softening. He steps around the chair, walking closer. “Lachlan, I—”
First, there’s a flash of blinding light.
Then comes the deafening boom.
And the room explodes around us.
Instinct kicks in, and I try to phase in an attempt to keep any rubble off me—but there are Evergreen Mahogany cuffs around my wrists, muting my abilities.
I’m helpless and fully exposed and I’m going to—
A wall of muscle slams into me, knocking the air from my lungs and plunging me into firm, solid darkness. Screams mix with the roar of crumbling rock in a deafening symphony of destruction that’s terrifyingly similar to that of Kan’s pyramid. It goes on, and on, and then . . .
Nothing.
I take stock of myself. Nothing hurts, but I’m pinned, held in place by a weight that keeps me completely still. Whatever it is, it shields me from both the raining rubble and the dust . . .
The weight shifts and my head jerks up. Not something. Someone.
Despite everything, Zephyr fucking Kentar is somehow above me, shielding me from the worst of the collapse with the unyielding strength of his body. I squint through the thick haze of settling dust, my eyes frantically scanning for any sign that he’s been hurt.
But he’s fine. He’s whole.
My eyes rise again, colliding with his amidst the rubble-stuffed air. The horror in his expression matches my own. Someone has found us, and they don’t come in peace.
We’re running out of time.
But in this moment, in this unlikely rupture of time and space we’re stealing for ourselves, unspoken words pass between us. And my chest tightens for a whole new reason.
He saved me. Again.
And just once, just in this stolen moment, I let the joy of an impossible dream mend my heart.
But it ends, and Zephyr rises, attention snapping to something over my right shoulder. Fury like I’ve never seen twists his features into a terrifying mask, drawing my attention to—
The world drops out from under me.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
They’re everywhere.
Figures in dark green uniforms swarm the room, weapons and objects flying as a full-on battle breaks out around us.
Dark green uniforms I’m closely familiar with.
I used to love that color.
It reminded me of the forests back home, of my mother.
Now, for the first time in my life, it doesn’t bring comfort.
Because . . . because Widesight has come to my rescue.