57
Don”t be silly
My stomach was full of good food and my heart beat happily.
That was my state until my mother called me to cloud over some of the delicious moussaka I had just devoured.
My sister Sarka was unwilling to move, much to our mother”s dismay. Beyond finding fault with every house they looked at, Sarka had other plans she hadn”t shared with us. I didn”t see it as a big deal. True, she wasn”t of age, but there was no harm in her spending her last year of high school living with her best friend to finish up in St. Petersburg, and then pursuing whatever degree she wanted, wherever she wanted.
After all, Yuri also studied abroad, and it hadn”t been a big deal.
”Don”t dramatize, Mom. I don”t see it as a bad thing. Sarka is very responsible, and Olga is very sensible too.”
”I don”t see it, what can I say, remember that Olga’s father lives alone with his daughter. How is he going to control a couple of teenagers? What if some man gets her pregnant?”
”Then she can have an abortion, it wouldn’t be the first or last time a girl her age got pregnant, just look at yourself.” Romeo smiled behind his napkin, and I caressed his calf with my big toe, causing him to raise an eyebrow.
”That was out of line. I got pregnant by your father.”
”And it hasn’t turned out so badly. Stop worrying about her. Didn’t you tell me on the last call that you didn’t feel like raising kids anymore? Let her fly. Buy her a plane ticket and one for Andrey, and tell him to accompany her. School started a few weeks ago, and she can’t miss more classes.”
”Here in Spain, it starts next week,” she protested from the other end of the line.
”Yeah, but she wants to study there, with her friends and her people. You can’t blame her for not wanting to follow you like a lapdog. Don’t forget she’ll be of age soon, and if you want to maintain a good relationship with your younger daughter, you shouldn”t restrict her. What did Irisha say about it?” I wanted to know.
”The same as you.”
”Well, there you go. Besides, we can assign a couple of my men to protect her if that makes you feel better. Have you spoken to Olga’s father?”
”No, not yet.”
”Then do it as soon as possible. If you don’t buy her the ticket, I will.”
”You”re not her mother.”
”No, but I”m the Vor v zakone and I determine what’s best for the members that make it up and for our family, so that ends the discussion.” My mother sighed in annoyance, and I continued the motion of my foot on my husband”s thigh. The waiter came to the table to clear the empty plates and asked if we wanted dessert.
”Mom, I have to hang up, I can’t keep discussing this right now, I have a matter that requires all my attention. Tell Sarka from me that I”m glad she”s making her own decisions, that she stands up to your criteria when she”s right, and that I support her. Oh, and tell her to call me as soon as she settles in at Olga”s!”
”Nikita... ”She was just short of yelling at me.
”Do svidaniya, mama[6].”
I hung up and listened attentively to the waiter”s dessert recommendations. After much deliberation, I opted for bougatsa, a pastry made from layers of phyllo dough filled with custard.
”That must have a thousand calories,” I complained.
I was about to order Greek yogurt seasoned with walnuts and honey, but Romeo insisted, having almost drooled at the mention of the other sweet.
”With all the walking we did today, and what I plan to do to you tonight, you”re going to need all the energy that dessert can provide.” I smiled teasingly, reaching with my foot to the area that was already prepared.
”Don”t you ever get tired?”
”Of making love to you?” he asked bluntly. ”Never.” I laughed hoarsely.
”Maybe there will come a day when you”re not in the mood.”
”Maybe pigs will fly.” I laughed again.
”I know of one that already does.”
”Speaking of flying... It’s not that I was eavesdropping, it”s just that you were right in front of me and I can”t help but listen to everything that comes out of your mouth. About your sister...”
”Don’t tell me you see it as a bad thing.” I stopped the movement of my fingers.
”On the contrary, you handled it brilliantly. Being on her own will give her the push she needs. It will be good for her to shed some shyness and sort out her mind. The overprotection she”s surely been subjected to isn’t good for anyone.”
”In a world like ours, it’s hard not to tend towards extreme protection. We ourselves, by coming here alone, have been a bit reckless.”
”Do you regret it?”
”Not at all. I also think we needed a few days like this. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed. In the case of my sister,” I continued, ”there’s more to it. It”s true she’s shier than us, but she”s usually a clear-headed and very responsible girl, in that way she reminds me of myself. Plus, she”ll be fine with Olga, her father is a teacher at the school they attend. There might not be an adult woman in the house, but I don”t think they need one. And it’s perfectly understandable that she wants to finish the school year with her friends.”
”You’re absolutely right and you know you have my vote.” His agreement brought another smile to my face.
”I could get used to you being this agreeable with me.”
”Well, if you propose something I agree with, I have no reason to contradict you.”
Our conversation was interrupted by a plate of sweets. I took one to my mouth and almost melted from the pleasure; it was incredible. Romeo couldn’t stop watching me and squirming at the sounds escaping my throat.
”Aren’t you going to have one?” I asked as I licked my fingers.
”I prefer to watch you. You have the same expression as when you’re with me in bed. I think I’m going to ask the chef for a tray so that tonight you can taste them off my body.”
”Not a bad idea, although I prefer to taste you without anything else.”
My phone vibrated, and I saw a WhatsApp message that made me smile. I showed the screen to R along with a victory sign. It was a message from my mother with a screenshot of two tickets to St. Petersburg for tomorrow. All she wrote was a ”you”ll be pleased,” followed by an emoji with steam coming out of its nose.
”My sincerest congratulations, Mrs. Koroleva, it seems you”ve gotten your way, and so has your sister.”
”Yes, this calls for a celebration. My sister will be over the moon. I”m going to call Andrey for a moment to tell him to leave one of the guys in charge of Aleksa. I need him to keep an eye on my affairs in St. Petersburg, and I estimate he”ll be out for a week.”
”First, finish your dessert. We have the excursion in a while, and there will be time for calls later.”
”Fair exchange,” I conceded, taking another piece to my mouth.
I had never laughed so much and for so long. My jaw was dislocated, and my abs hurt.
Romeo had the brilliant idea to ride a donkey. Yes, a donkey, because there were three options to ascend from the port, where we had dined, to the capital of Fira.
The first was walking, which would have been the most sensible after our calorie fest. We weren’t too keen on that because there were a lot of stairs, and the sun was blazing.
The second, and most popular, was the cable car. It was the tourists” favorite method, especially because it took just three measly minutes to reach the destination, and you didn’t have to endure the heat on days when the sun was particularly harsh.
But, of course, that was too easy for two born adventurers like us, so my beloved husband decided to be whimsical and emulate the Virgin Mary on the way to Bethlehem; not taking into account that he was not Saint Joseph, nor was I possessed by the Holy Spirit.
Regardless, I found myself mounted on the back of that animal, covered with a striped blanket and a brown leather saddle where I comfortably sat.
Our group consisted of five more people plus the guide. The others were a married couple with their teenage son, who kept recording videos to upload on YouTube. They were Sicilian and quickly hit it off with Romeo.
The guide warned us that the donkeys were very docile, that we should not stray, and to keep to the left to allow other tourists who decided to make the journey on foot on the same stairs.
I”ll confess that I was a bit scared because I thought the quadruped might throw me off as soon as I got on. Fortunately, mine was quite manageable and I quickly got the hang of it. The animals followed the established order and, although it wasn”t the most comfortable mode of transportation, the views were beautiful. Romeo kept looking at me and smiling with that ”see, woman of little faith” attitude.
We were halfway up when we crossed paths with another group coming down. The guides greeted each other amiably and the animals from the other group continued descending as we climbed, until one, or rather, a female, stopped next to Romeo’s donkey.
As soon as the animal sniffed her, it started braying like mad. My husband tried to control it, but the donkey, stricken by love and a gigantic swelling in its loins, turned one hundred and eighty degrees to chase after Margueritta, which was the name of his beloved.
She, being all flirty, sped up so that Eros, R’s donkey, couldn”t reach her. It looked like one of those fast-forward movie scenes. The septuagenarian riding on Margueritta”s back couldn”t stop screaming, and when she felt the push of the donkey on her flank, she flailed her feet and hands.
My guide was shouting; the other one too; the donkeys started spinning like tops not knowing which way to go, and Eros, stubborn and lovesick as no other, managed to corner Margueritta and rise on his hind legs with Romeo on top to mount her.
Tourists started pulling out their phones to capture the unexpected porn scene.
My husband clung on like a rodeo cowboy, trying not to make a fool of himself and fall on his butt on the stone steps.
And the woman riding Margueritta, who was English, screamed for someone to get that animal off her that wanted to rape her.
It was, by far, the most ludicrous and hilarious situation I had ever experienced in my life.
When the guides finally managed to disentangle the situation by pulling the amorous donkey away, people pleaded for them to let the animals have their moment of intimacy, which they well deserved. As expected, that didn’t happen.
Romeo was sweating profusely, and the English woman kept complaining to the tour organizer.
The guides apologized profusely and offered to comp our trip, which my husband declined, claiming these things happen when you”re in front of the love of your life. His eyes sought mine and I could do nothing but laugh and cry.
We had just one more day in Santorini, and I didn’t want our time to end. The thought that I had a whole lifetime ahead to repeat trips like this one with him frightened me more than any bullet.