Epilogue
Kris
Standing across the road from the little white house she’d grown up in, Kris frowned.
It was one thing to want to say goodbye, or even to have put those harrowing thoughts into words on paper, but it was, as it turned out, quite another thing to be on the brink of delivering the sentiment to the woman who’d birthed her.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she realized it wasn’t only the icy swirling atmosphere making her cold, but the reality of what she was there to achieve.
“Little one.” Kronos’ voice reverberated from behind her, and a moment later, he was there with her, his strong arms enveloping her in his warm embrace. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Master.”
Her voice was weaker than she would have liked, but it was etched with the sense of determination she’d felt since he’d assented to her writing the message to her mother.
Initially, he’d said that he would deliver the missive for her, but time and perspective had brought clarity on the matter, and glancing down at the envelope in her hand, she was glad he’d agreed to let her do the deed.
If she was going to walk away from the only life she’d ever known and leave the people she loved behind, it was only right that she be the one to deliver the news to them.
“Is this the right house?” He lowered to whisper the words into her right ear, and she shivered as they vibrated over her sensitive skin.
It wasn’t the first time she’d traveled with him through the vortex he called the ether, but the journeys never seemed to get any easier on her body.
Throat drying, she realized that even though her feet had landed on the concrete below, the street ahead of her seemed to be swaying, shifting left and right, the same way the air around them had only moments before.
Lifting one hand to rub her temple, she prayed the effects would soon wane.
“It’s the right house, Master.” She leaned into the heat of his body, aware that, without his support, she might have lost her balance altogether.
“I’m just…” She paused, unsure how to convey the bubbling melancholy stirring inside her. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“Kristina.” He planted a kiss where her fingers had rubbed. “You’ve done so well.”
“Thanks.” She swallowed back her rising emotions, sensing that, should those tears fall, they would prove difficult to quell. “But this is harder than the messages I left for Liz and Cindy, Master. This is my mother.”
And leaving the goodbyes for the best friends she’d ever had had been trying enough.
“I know.” He squeezed her gently, his wistful tone suggesting he had at least tried to understand her point of view. She assumed that he must have had a family of sorts once, although he never mentioned them. “I’m here for you, little one. I’ll take the letter if it helps.”
“No, thank you.” She gripped the paper tighter between the fingers of her left hand, conscious of the wind brushing past the length of the long gown he’d gifted her for the occasion. “That’s my job, Master.”
“I’m sorry that all of this is necessary.” He sighed. “Sorry that I’ve brought you to the point where it’s required.”
Turning slowly in his arms, she ignored the oscillating air and focused on the honesty in his hazel eyes.
“I know you didn’t mean for any of this when you took me.” She managed a smile. “You just wanted to replace Shelley, Master.”
“I didn’t expect to fall in love,” he agreed, raising one hand to cradle her head. “But I have, and in doing so, I changed the rules, little one.”
“Because I can’t return home…” She finished the logical line of thinking for him.
“That’s right.”
“But the truth is, I don’t want to, Master.” She pressed herself against his tunic-covered chest, frantic for him to know her true feelings. “Yes, I miss some things about my life, and of course, I miss some of the people, but you have given me so much more.”
The smile painting her lips then was more genuine. “You’ve given me love and purpose and a sense of self-worth, and Master, you’ve shown me a whole new world that I didn’t even know existed until you. I’m not sorry that I met you or that I love you.”
His lips tugged at her fervor, but still, his expression looked sorrowful. “I just loathe what I’m making you give up.” He scowled. “You deserve to have as much love in your life as possible.”
“Yes, well…” She rested her head against him, conscious of the way his earthy scent goaded. “At least I get to say goodbye.”
That thought swelled in her head, growing larger until the idea pounded like a migraine, because honestly, it was preposterous.
There was no saying goodbye to her mum. The woman who’d sacrificed so that Kris could have a better life merited more than the handwritten farewell crushed between their bodies.
“I just hope Mum’s okay, Master.”
Her eyes fell closed then, and just like that, the levy inside her broke. One huge tear became countless, and there, encased in the invisible shroud of his magic, she sobbed as though her life depended upon that hot, salty water.
“It’s okay.” He stroked the back of her hair as he held her, allowing the tears to flow. “And she’ll be okay, too, little one. She’ll know that you’re alive and that you’re safe.”
Perhaps he knew the barrage had to come, that release was really the best remedy, and clinging to his brawn, she didn’t argue.
No doubt there would be more emotion to come in the days and months ahead, but she sensed none of it would feel starker than the hollow feeling slicing at her as she twisted to look at the tiny terrace house.
“She’ll never stop looking for me.” There was a dull inevitability to the words as they came to her, and wiping her eyes with her free hand, she knew they were true.
She hoped her letter would placate her mum and offer some consolation, but she knew the woman well enough to realize she’d never give up on her only child.
“She coped all those years after my dad left, but this might finally push her over the edge, Master.”
The possibility stabbed at her heart like a blade.
“We can watch over her.” His voice was soothing. “Make sure that she’s okay…”
“We can?” She glanced back at him, certain he’d never mentioned the option before.
“Yes,” he assured her.
“And could I write her another letter, Master?”
The idea assuaged the guilt tightening in her gut a little. Ongoing correspondence with her mother, however limited, would be better than the prospect of her never hearing from Kris again.
“I don’t see why not.” He kissed the top of her hair. “But not all the time, little one. Your master has other plans for you.”
A reflexive smile twisted at her lips as she imagined all the filthy and sumptuous things he had in mind, and for a second, her sorrow lifted.
“Come on, then.” He edged them closer, crossing the small road with his arms still cocooning hers. “You should deliver the letter now.”
Once they’d reached the safety of the path outside her mum’s house, he withdrew, taking a step back and creating the distance she required to get the job done.
She walked forward, forcing her legs to cooperate, but it wasn’t until the shoes he’d encased her feet in for the purpose reached the head of the garden path that she acknowledged what was truly happening.
She was about to deliver the letter that would send her mother’s life into disarray.
Sure, she hoped there would be relief in her words, and comfort in knowing her daughter was alive, well and happier than she’d ever been, but Kris was no fool.
She knew how much her mum would have been hurting, and she also accepted how never being able to see her daughter again was going to cut at the very fabric of her soul.
Blowing out a breath, she took one last glance at Kronos. His magic ensured they were both invisible to the human eye, even when they were apart, but he saw her, and meeting her gaze, he offered a determined nod.
Buoyed by his gesture, she swallowed back her conflicted feelings and closed the short distance between her and the green front door.
Lifting the letter toward the letterbox, she pressed her other palm against the fading paintwork.
She remembered the day she’d helped her mother to paint the door, and how they’d laughed as they worked together.
Kris hoped that, one day, she’d get to hear the sound of her mum’s laughter again.
Pressing open the letterbox, she pushed the white envelope past the threshold, holding her breath as the paper fell to the doormat on the other side.
There. Her eyes fluttered closed. It’s done.
Her mother wouldn’t be at home until gone six o’clock, but Kris’ envelope would be there on the mat when she returned, and in the sanctuary of that certainty, she recalled the words she’d scrawled inside.
Dear Mum,
It’s me, Kristina.
I’m alive, Mum. Everything’s okay.
I know you’ll have been wondering where I’ve been. It’s difficult to explain.
Someone took me that night on Franklin Street. He stepped in to save me from being assaulted, and then he took me for himself, but I want to let you know, he hasn’t hurt me, Mum. He’s looked after me, cared for me, and well, we’ve fallen in love with each other.
She cringed as she recalled writing the words, hoping her mother would understand, yet knowing comprehension of the things Kris had lived through was almost impossible.
I know that sounds crazy, the letter went on. But it’s true.
I do love him, and he loves me.
We’re together in a place far from here, but I need you to know I’m well.
Actually, I’m thriving!
I’m learning lots, and I finally have a man who’s worthy of me.
I wish that you could meet him, wish you could get to know him and understand.
But until then, please know I’m safe, and I’m happy.
I don’t know when you’ll hear from me again, but please know that I love you, Mum.
I love you, and I always will, and while we’re not together, I’ll think about you every day.
Kris
xxx
In the end, it had hurt too damn much to write the word ‘goodbye’, but she reckoned the content conveyed the feeling anyway.