Chapter 6 #2
He did not even realize how easily the term had slipped from his mouth, but she had, and she was not pleased.
He was not supposed to refer to her in that way.
She poured the Sauvignon Blanc into two glasses and handed him one, a sulky expression on her lovely face.
"I hate to think of the two of you alone in that house. "
Kyle's brows lifted as he sipped his wine experimentally. "It's a big apartment. We give each other space."
"Does she know you're with me?" Carly hoped to God she did.
"She suspected. I did not say anything to her. She went to visit her brother."
She sipped wine and gave him a curious look, managing to hide the malice. "Or maybe she has a lover."
He shrugged, trying to ignore the tiny jab. "She's honest to a fault. If she said she's going to her brother then that's where she is."
"It sounds like you know and trust her."
"It so happens I do." There was a note of impatience in his voice that warned her he was getting tired of the topic.
Carly set her glass down a little too firmly, her fingers tracing the rim as though searching for something to anchor her.
The flickering candles cast shifting shadows across her features, softening the sharpness in her eyes.
For a moment, neither spoke, the quiet stretching between them like a bridge waiting to be crossed.
"I'm still upset." She told him a little tearfully. "It feels as if I've lost you forever."
His expression softened. It wasn't her fault that his future had been mapped out for him. And they had been involved. He was so deep in thought, he did not notice the past tense. That he was already thinking of them as no longer together.
"I'm still here."
She sipped wine and eyed him over the rim, blinking back tears. "I want to believe it. Oh darling, I wish you could stay the night."
"You know I can't." His voice was sharp, expression grim. "I agreed to meet you for dinner and that's all it's going to be."
She did not have to pretend the shock or the disbelief. "You mean, we... you're... What do you mean?"
"We cannot be with each other the way we had before." On his way to her place, he had made that decision. It did not sit right with him. He could not balance a wife and a mistress, even if it was just an arrangement, it wasn't something he could do.
For one, it would cheapen what he felt for the woman seated across from him and he could not afford the scandal if it was made public.
And it would be. They were both too visible for it to be anything but.
There was another reason too, one he was not willing to explore anytime soon.
He kept seeing Ingrid like she was last night.
All the curvy body wearing just a shirt. It had given him a restless night.
"You're breaking up with me." Carly's husky voice dragged him from his reverie.
He hesitated, searching her face for understanding. "I'm sorry, Carly. It isn't fair to you. Living with uncertainty, hoping for something I can't give." His voice was quiet yet held a finality that echoed in the candlelit silence.
This time she did not have to force the tears, they came, spilling down her white cheeks and sending twinges of guilt coursing through him. "Please don't."
"How can I help it." She whispered. "You sit there and shred my life to pieces. How can I not want to weep until I dissolve? I love you and I thought, I believed you loved me too."
"I...I do." There was a second of hesitancy as if he no longer knew how he felt.
"But I cannot have you as a mistress. And that's who you'd be.
" He pushed away the plate, his appetite gone.
Picking up his wine, he toyed with the stem of the glass, his expression grim.
"My life has changed. I once thought we would be together on a long-term basis, but now that's changed. "
"I cannot ask you to wait in case this thing I'm involved in will be over. You know that. My grandfather is demanding an heir and I...I will have to produce one."
Carly's breath hitched, her shoulders trembling.
She pressed the heel of her hand to her mouth, trying to steady herself.
The words hung between them, heavy and irrevocable.
"So, this is goodbye," she murmured, voice barely above a whisper.
The air seemed to grow colder, the cozy glow of the candles now casting long, lonely shadows across the room.
He shifted restlessly. "No. I don't know. It's not fair to keep you hanging. And that's exactly what I'd be doing if I ask you to wait." He shook his head. "I'm sorry."
*****
He spent some time driving around to clear his head before heading back to the townhouse. It certainly did not help to find her seated around the counter in the kitchen, wearing the same t-shirt and bulky socks. Her long fingers were wrapped around what smelled like herbal tea.
He really thought about just ignoring her and heading upstairs to his suite. The scene at Carly's had twisted him up. He had broken her heart, something that did not sit well with him.
"Rough night?" Her sultry voice grated on his nerves and had him marching into the kitchen. When he did not respond but merely yanked the fridge door open and took out a bottle of water, she watched him as he twisted off the cap and tossed it into the bin.
Temper, she mused. It must not have gone well with the actress. "I suppose she's bemoaning the fact that you have to come home to me."
His eyes flared and darkened as he swung around to face her.
"I did not have to do a damn thing."
"Okay. Easy boy." She held up a hand as if to ward off his temper.
"I bet she was like..." He stared in shock as she screwed up her face and pouted, bottom lip pursing and did an incredible imitation of Carly's voice.
"'Darling, I don't think I can bear it any longer, you're living in the same house with her.
I know you're in separate suites, but what if. ..'"
She drew in her breath in a dramatic motion and waved her hand, blinking her eyes.
"'What if one night she crawls into bed with you.
I mean look at you! So manly and beautiful with all that golden skin and burnished hair.
I know she's not your type and you're totally in love with me, but she would be naked and being a man, you might be unable to resist her. Oh, I can't stand it!'"
She finished with a flair; the back of her left hand pressed to her forehead. Dropping her hand, she gave him a smug smile, while he stood there staring at her speechless.
"So, how did I do?"
Her question stirred him out of his shock. He had to fight the urge to laugh. And had to admit that she had lifted his black mood considerably. Bringing the bottle to his mouth to hide the grin, he glugged water and continued to stare at her.
"You're an idiot."
She grinned at his tone and nodded. "High school plays. I was Katherine in Shakespeare's 'The taming of the shrew.'"
"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" He asked dryly and found himself moving to sit across from her. Rolling the bottle between his palms, he regarded her in silence before blurting out. "I ended things with her."
Ingrid's eyes widened. Putting the cup down with the utmost care, she ignored the slamming of her heart against her ribs. It had nothing to do with her, why should it?
"Why?" She found herself asking.
He had no idea why it came out of his mouth, but he had come so far, he might as well go all the way. "She deserves better than to be someone's mistress."
She had to fight not to reach out a hand to cover his. He looked so forlorn, and she had to speculate that he really must love her. She had no idea how to feel about that.
"I take it that she was quite broken up about your decision."
He shrugged. "I had to face reality." His eyes met hers. "It had to be done."
"Uhm..." She shook her head. "I don't know if I should apologize for my performance earlier."
His lips quirked. "Would you mean it?"
She considered for a bit. "I don't think so."
"Then you shouldn't." They lapsed into silence again, each busy with their own thoughts.
"Matthew has a guy. Some lawyer he met several months ago." She had no idea why she was telling him this but considering he had just confided in her about his break-up, it seemed the right thing to do.
He gave her a surprised look and could not help but feel pleased she was talking to him about it. "I only discovered he was gay a few years ago."
"A well kept secret," she said lightly.
"It must be tough on him."
It was her turn to look surprised.
"What? You think because I'm not into men, I cannot relate?"
"No." Shaking her head, she sent the coils tumbling around her shoulders. "You do not strike me as being someone with empathy."
His eyes flared, but he managed to tamp down the annoyance. "You don't know me." He pointed out coolly.
"You're right." Her quiet acceptance dampened his anger.
"And it's not right for me to judge." She sipped her tea slowly.
"I am a very suspicious person and when someone steps into my brother's life, I tend to be wary.
" She shrugged. "We've both been through a lot where relationships are concerned. "
He realized then that he knew next to nothing about her. "I never asked if you were involved with anyone."
She smiled to lighten the mood. Things were getting too intense. And she had to remember where they stand. "No. So, it was easy for me to give in gracefully."
A slight smile touched his lips. "Oh, is that what you did?"
"Absolutely. How about a glass of wine? The tea has gotten cold."
"Thanks."