Chapter Thirteen
Rue
I was in a bit of a daze after sobbing out all the fear and anxiety I’d been feeling leading up to—and during—the delivery.
I cleaned up and repotted on autopilot, not really focusing too much on what I was doing, just letting my body do what needed to be done while my mind completely shut down.
When we finished, it was like all my thoughts came back at once, each of them tripping over one another as they tried to get noticed.
It was the only explanation for why I’d agreed to go to Kylo’s house.
Because I knew I was too vulnerable to be around anyone right then. What if I slipped up on my story? If I just blurted it all out?
“I can do this,” I told myself as I pulled up behind Kylo’s car in his charming neighborhood.
Kylo’s townhouse curb appeal left a bit to be desired, but he apparently only lived here part-time, so I guess I couldn’t be too judgmental of him not wanting a sprawling garden to maintain if he wasn’t around all the time.
“You have to promise not to be too hard on me,” Kylo said after I coaxed Ernest out of the backseat.
“Hard on you for what?” I asked, grabbing my purse and wondering if I had some eye drops in there anywhere. They felt oddly dry after all that crying.
“The state of the place. I’m indecisive as fuck when it comes to paint, something I’m just now learning about myself.”
“I went through six different shades of yellow before I settled on one. I get it.” Kylo led me into a small, rounded foyer with three doors.
“Bathroom,” he explained, waving to the left. “Mechanical room, garage. This area is especially bleak,” he said as I looked around.
“It just needs some art. Maybe a mail table. And these windows next to the door would be enough for a ZZ or snake plant.”
“Another excuse to drop into the shop,” he said, flicking on lights as we moved further into the house. “So, quick tour: kitchen, dining, living.”
“Oh, wow,” I said, spotting the wall where he’d swatched eight different paints. But not different shades of one color. Oh, no. He’d swatched gray, blue, taupe, a burnt orange, sage green, an off-white, and greige.
“Yeah, so far I’ve only ruled out the blue.”
“Which might have something to do with it being electric blue,” I said with a little laugh.
It was kind of amazing that I was even capable of a smile after a night like I’d had. Maybe it wasn’t a terrible idea for me to come here after all.
“In my defense, it looked different in the store.”
“It’s like they go out of their way to have the worst possible lighting in the paint department. I actually think a blue could work here. Maybe a teal or lapis. Or, oh, an Aegean.”
“Aegean blue,” Kylo said. “I’m gonna have to look that up.”
“I think it would be warm without being too feminine. And it’s pigmented enough to make a statement but not too much that it would be overwhelming with the high ceilings in here. You weren’t kidding about the light.”
The windows stretched clear to the twenty-foot ceiling.
Several of the plants we’d picked out together were already situated near those windows.
“The rest are in the kitchen,” he said, gesturing.
“Oh, I like this. You don’t see kitchens in this shape,” I declared. It was almost an octagon. “Do you cook?”
“You met Eddie.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means, why would I bother trying to cook when it’s all going to pale in comparison?”
“That’s fair,” I agreed. “I dreamed about his food for days after.”
“He’d be thrilled to feed you again anytime you want.”
I’d barely met the guy, but I had the feeling that was true.
“How about we order before I give you the rest of the tour?”
He damn near ordered the whole menu, including some extra meats for Ernest as he set down a cereal bowl full of water for him.
After that, I was led upstairs to check out the fully empty spare rooms and bathroom, then, finally, the primary room.
He had a clear vision for the space, judging by the rolls of sage green grasscloth wallpaper and the rolled-up rug leaned against the wall.
He’d already picked out the upholstered bed and luxe linen bedding, as well as oversized wooden nightstands and lamps.
“Wow,” I groaned as I stepped into the primary bedroom with all its granite floors, walls, and shower niche. There was also a minimalist soaking tub that made me acutely aware of how achy I felt all over.
As if reading my mind, Kylo gestured toward the tub. “How about I take Ernest outside for a bit while you unwind in the tub? My clothes will probably swim on you, but I’m sure I got something with a drawstring somewhere.”
“I couldn’t—”
“You can. You are,” he added, going over to the tub to run the tap. “Now, you stop it when it’s the right temperature while I scrounge up some clothes and a towel.”
Five minutes later, the tub was full, I had a t-shirt and a pair of basketball pants with a drawstring, and I heard Kylo a floor below trying to coax a very tired Ernest outside.
I turned to put the clothes on the counter. In doing so, I caught sight of myself in the mirror for the first time.
It was not good.
My cheeks were raw. My eyes were red. My lids were swollen. And I looked ghostly pale.
Great.
Just how I wanted to look in front of Kylo.
I grabbed a washcloth out of the cabinet after I stripped, soaked it in frigid water, then climbed into the tub to drape it over my face, hoping to reduce the redness and swelling while the hot water eased the aches in my body.
By the time the water cooled and I climbed out, I looked slightly less splotchy and swollen, though Kylo’s clothes were doing absolutely nothing for me.
Not that I had any hopes of something happening between us. Not after I ugly-cried through his shirt.
Really, the last thing I should have been thinking about was what I wanted to happen between Kylo and myself. Not after the night I had.
Then again, I knew I would be obsessing nonstop about the events once I got home and back to my life. So why shouldn’t I just let me be here, with Kylo, for a few hours?
With that in mind, I heard Kylo coming in, then Ernest letting out a deep sigh as he, I imagined, found a place to rest.
Before I could even make it to the stairs, the bell rang and I could hear Kylo speaking to the delivery person for a moment.
“I was starting to worry you’d drowned,” Kylo said, spotting me descending the stairs. “Food’s here. Dog is beat,” he lifted the bag, then waved toward where Ernest was asleep sprawled out on his side.
“Feel bad that I don’t even have a rug for him,” Kylo said as we both moved into the kitchen.
“I have a comfy bed in almost every room,” I told him as he pulled cartons out of the bag, “but he still chooses to sleep on the floor half the time. Well, when he’s not in bed with me.”
“Is your bed on the floor, or do you lift him up into it every night?” he asked, thinking of Ernest’s stumpy legs.
“I have a sturdy pair of wooden dog stairs for the bed. Stub my toe on it just about every single morning,” I admitted.
“I’m afraid we have to eat off paper tonight,” he told me, producing those giant paper plates that were more like platters.
“They’re biodegradable,” I said with a shrug. “We don’t have to feel too guilty about it.”
“I had the Chinese place throw in a couple of sodas. But I also have beer or hard cider.”
“Oh, I can’t drink on my meds,” I told him. As much as I could go for a drink after that kind of night. “Soda is good.”
“Lemon-lime or regular?” he asked, holding them both out to me.
I took the lemon-lime, then followed his lead and loaded up my plate.
“Okay, explain to me how you have no real plates but you do have real silverware.”
“Yeah, that’s just case of weird happenstance. I went to the dollar store to get balloons for one of my friends’ kid’s birthday party. The silverware was right below where the balloons were taped to the wall.”
The living room had no furniture yet, since he hadn’t decided on a wall color. But he had a card table and chairs set up across from where a TV was attached to the wall.
Catching me looking at it, Kylo smirked. “Priorities,” he admitted. “TV to have on as background noise while I work on things. A table for eating. And a bed. Though, I’ve only slept here once.”
“Do you prefer the other house?”
“That’s… complicated,” he admitted. “I love the brotherhood there. But before I moved in there, I’d been living alone for a long time. I bought this place because I did start to miss the privacy and quiet.”
“Do they party constantly?”
“Several nights a week for sure. And it was great for the first couple of years. But I’ve been less and less into it lately. I saw these go up for sale, and I just pounced.”
“Are your friends upset you’re moving out?” At the look on his face, my brows shot up. “Did you not tell them?”
“I told one of them. Huck. He’s a friend and our boss. He’s fine with it. But I haven’t told anyone else yet.”
It was right then that I realized I had no idea what Kylo did for a living. How had I never asked that before?
“Is it a lot to work and live with them? What do you guys do?”
“We’re in trade. But no. I won’t say that I am sick of them or anything like that. I just wanted more space. And some quiet here and there.”
“I get that. I, uh, when I left college, I went back to live with my parents for a while,” I told him, leaving out the little bit in the middle where I’d been living somewhere else entirely. Where I wasn’t allowed to have shoelaces, my cell phone, or even mouthwash.
“Not the best time after that period of independence, huh?”
It was not a good time in general.
“My parents are very… regimented and stern. And I don’t think I realized when I was growing up how difficult it was to live there at times. But when I moved back, I definitely saw it.”
“Was it typical them still treating you like a kid shit?” he asked.
“Yes. No,” I said, suddenly not wanting to lie. “I mean, they did that, yes. But the problem was, I guess, me.”
“How so?”
“I think I’ve emotionally unloaded enough on you for one night.”
“I’d be happy to hear if you want to tell me.”