Chapter Twenty
Rue
Roughly a week and a half passed where I was getting nearly constant texts from my grandmother and sideways looks from Traeger, both of them clearly worried about my sudden change in demeanor.
I appreciated their concern.
But I didn’t want to talk about it.
And I didn’t want to have to keep feeling bad for using whatever coping mechanisms I needed to get through the days.
Did I recognize that I was more guarded, cooler, less chatty? Yeah. Did I know that I hadn’t smiled once in all that time? Not until Traeger told me.
But cold and guarded was better than curled up in my bed sobbing. So they were just going to need to roll with it.
Of course, I didn’t want to feel this way, be this way, forever. I wanted to feel ease again, comfort, friendliness, happiness. With those things out of reach at the moment, though, I was okay with just getting through it by whatever methods necessary.
“Coffee,” Traeger said, dropping down a cup in front of me, the glass already starting to sweat.
It was my fourth coffee of the day.
Traeger was showing his support with caffeine.
I’d never loved him more.
Really, he’d been so great about everything. The “break-in,” my closing the shop for a day, then showing up in a zombie state for a day or two, followed by this new iteration of me.
He’d asked a few questions at first, but hadn’t pried. I think he was just trying to make it clear that if I needed someone to talk to, he was there, that he understood betrayal and bad break-ups.
And while he did still make his concerns clear, I had a feeling it was more out of concern for my mental health than anything.
I guess the one good thing that came out of this whole mess of a situation was that either my anxiety and depression had regulated themselves a bit, or the new meds were pulling their weight. Because I wasn’t nervous and panicky. I wasn’t dreaming of my bed all day. I was just… hurt. Angry.
Both, I felt, were acceptable considering what happened.
“You’re a saint,” I told Traeger as I reached for the coffee.
“To further cement my saintly status, I was thinking of going out and picking up lunch. A real carb fest. You in?”
“I could eat.”
Like many things, it didn’t have the same pleasure it used to. But my stomach had been grumbling since I’d shown up that morning. I’d been silencing it with coffee, but I was going to need to eat soon so I could take my meds.
“Okay. I’m getting it all. Fries, pasta, pizza, all the good stuff.”
“Let me—” I said, reaching for my purse.
“Absolutely not,” he said, holding up a hand. “I just got a major deal. I’m not spilling the deets just yet, but it’s huge. I am about to be rolling in it.”
“Well then, by all means, you treat us.”
“I’ll be back in less than an hour.”
“I’ll be here.”
“Can I get Ernie a treat?”
I glanced over at my dog, his jowls vibrating as he let out little barks at something in his dream. He’d never chased a squirrel in his life, but he did like to huff at them from the window on occasion. Which was why his little feet weren’t running after them in his dream.
“I’m sure he believes he deserves one,” I said.
“A nice little steak it is,” Traeger said, going to the door.
“He doesn’t need a st—”
“What was that?” he called back. “Can’t hear you. Love you. Byeeee.”
With that, he was gone.
Alone, I sucked in a deep breath and tried not to stare at the new plants I’d just brought in from the greenhouse after they finished their quarantine.
Kylo had told me when he’d seen them that he definitely wanted one.
But he hadn’t meant that.
It had all been a ruse.
All the plants I’d already sold him were probably dead and in a landfill somewhere.
I pressed a hand to my chest where a familiar shooting sensation moved through my heart.
I had almost gotten used to it.
Without realizing it, I’d attached a lot of things in my daily life to Kylo. My shop, my dog, plants, certain foods, my bathing suit, one of my favorite movies, certain songs, and, of course, my grandmother’s facility.
I knew that there would come a time when she would no longer accept me making excuses not to visit, or insisting we meet at a restaurant.
She was placating me at the moment.
It wouldn’t last long.
I honestly thought I could handle visiting. What I couldn’t handle was her trying to play therapist and forcing the two of us together.
And I just didn’t trust her not to do that.
I hoped that once I was feeling a little better, she might stop trying to tell me to reach out to Kylo and work things out.
Until then, I was trying to keep our conversations on the short end, and focused on her and the crazy antics of her friend group.
I was about to go into the back to grab some plates, napkins, and utensils when a sleek black car pulled into the lot.
There was something oddly familiar about it for a moment, but I couldn’t place it.
I glanced at the clock, trying to figure out if I could make a sale and get this customer out of the shop before Traeger came back, so we could eat in peace, so I wasn’t looking as the door chimed and opened.
When I glanced over, though, I saw a little person making his way inside, wearing a tan suit (vest and all) and a bowler hat.
“Hey!” I greeted, forcing a smile that made my cheeks hurt it was so fake. “Can I help you with anything?”
“Actually, I’m here to try to help the both of us,” he said, stopping a few feet from the desk.
Oh.
Was this another of those cold-call sales pitches? Someone who wanted to replace the windows or pave the parking lot?
Those stupid No Solicitation signs really did nothing.
“Okay,” I said, racking my brain for one of the phrases that had worked in the past to make someone leave. Most of them involved pretending I wasn’t the owner but that I could pass their card along.
“My name is Teddy,” he said. There was a dramatic pause there, like that was meant to mean something to me.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Rue,” I said.
A little smile tugged at his lips at that.
“No, sweetheart. I’m Teddy. I believe you’ve met my driver,” he said, waving out toward the front door where a man stood in his suit in the sweltering heat, his profile familiar.
Oh.
Oh.
“You’re Teddy? The Teddy? With the mansion, boat, and fancy hotel?”
“That’s me,” he said, his charm going full-on charming in a blink.
“Wow. Well, both places are gorgeous,” I said.
Wait.
Was this the big deal Traeger was talking about? Had Teddy reached out about his pottery?
My heart swelled for him even as the memories swam to the surface, making that stabbing sensation in my heart intensify.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Are you looking for Traeger?” I asked. “He just ran out to grab lunch, but he won’t be too much longer if you want to wait for him.”
“Well, I do need to speak to him, yes. But I’m here to see you.”
“Me?” The word rasped out of me.
Had he not heard what happened? That things were weird with me and his friends?
“Yes.”
“About the plants?” I asked, waving toward the shop.
His gaze followed, taking in the shop.
“Well, we will get there,” he said.
I tried not to let hope swell. Because maybe he had no idea that things had turned sour between me and Kylo. Once he heard, I was sure he would back out. I just hoped things were official between him and Traeger, so he didn’t miss out on this opportunity.
That said, if he did know and he still wanted to do business with me, that could be really life-changing.
I didn’t need more money, per se. But more was always welcome.
Business always came with some ebb and flow.
Having more sitting in savings would help me not panic when the lean weeks or months came around.
“Well, no pressure. I mean, I know it was mentioned to you, but I don’t want you to think I’m pinning all my business plans on that.”
“Smart girl,” he said, giving me a nod. “Actually, this isn’t about business at all.”
My stomach clenched hard.
I was regretting that coffee as it tried to inch back up my throat.
I swallowed hard and forced myself to take a deep breath.
“Look, I know he’s your friend—” I started.
“But what he did to you was unconscionable?” Teddy finished for me.
“Well, yeah,” I agreed.
“I’ve been friends with these guys for a long, long time,” Teddy said, steepling his hands in front of his chest, a gold ring flashing on one of his fingers. “And to say that they can be complete and utter dipshits when it comes to certain situations would be an understatement.”
A surprised snort escaped me.
“I’m not trying to make excuses for any of them. At the end of the day, they are grown-ass men with access to any kind of therapy they might need to handle their shit.”
“But?” I prompted, sensing it hanging in the air between us, heavy, unavoidable.
“But,” he agreed, eyes warm, “I think we do have to take their… profession into account in why they don’t.”
“I imagine it’s not comfortable to tell anyone that you’re an—” I glanced around the shop to make sure we were alone before continuing, “arms dealer.”
“Might blur that line for the shrink with their duty to report. I think having Velle there helps now, but only if his club brothers will listen to him. When they don’t, sometimes it’s my job to step in.”
“Why you?”
“Because as an outsider, I tend to see things more clearly. And they like hanging out at my penthouse and on my boats, so they tend to shut the hell up and listen.”
“Fair enough,” I agreed, charmed more than I should have been by a stranger who was clearly here to plead Kylo’s case for him.
“I also want to make it clear that Kylo didn’t send me here. He doesn’t know I’m here, in fact. From what I hear, he would be pissed to know I was.”
“Okay.” I don’t know if I was relieved, or incredibly disappointed, by that. “Who sent you then?”
As pathetic as it was, some part of me had wanted him to reach out, to apologize, to try to explain. Even if, objectively, I knew there was no excuse for how he’d used me.