Chapter Twelve
Victoria
The doctor gave us a rundown of Rich's condition once we arrived back inside the cabin. Lacey was, thankfully, nowhere in sight. She'd climbed into her car straight away and sped off into the night. Even as my body shook from the adrenaline crash, I couldn't find it in myself to be sorry for what I'd done.
Leighton was strangely quiet as the doctor informed us that the surgery had gone well even without anesthesia and informed us there was something off about how quickly Rich had turned septic. The doctor said it shouldn't have been possible unless the person who patched him up originally hadn't used sterile equipment. He'd prescribed some antibiotics that he said Lacey was having delivered and gave us strict instructions to keep the area clean. Joey hovered by the head of the pullout where Rich had succumbed to unconsciousness again.
Craig guided me to my room, insisting that I needed to get some sleep as the doctor finished instructing the others on how to use the remaining I.V. bags of fluids and medication. I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow. For the first time since Rinaldo attacked the manor, I didn't have nightmares.
My good mood the following day was buoyed by the fact that Az hadn't come crashing through my door demanding an early workout. Between a good night's rest and a day off from his Az-hole drill instructor mode, things felt like they might just go right for once. I should have known it was just a fluke.
A single day off was all that Az allowed. He didn't care whether I had nightmares or not the night before, waking me at the crack of dawn like some sort of 'roided up farm cock. He did concede to letting me have coffee before torturing me with a run around the lake and his increasingly intense training methods.
For the most part, I kept my complaints to a minimum. While it was absolute insanity to be up so early and work as hard as he pushed me, the incident with Lacey had allowed me a sort of catharsis. I found myself chasing that release during training since that was the only release Az was letting me have right now. It wasn't entirely his fault since everyone was still reeling from the near miss with Rich, but it didn't help.
About four days after the doctor had operated on Rich, I found myself outside training with Az. Craig and Joey were attempting to mother hen Rich inside, and Leighton had been successfully avoiding me. Az caught one of the bags we'd been practicing dodges and punches with and stilled its swinging.
"That's enough for today, Love. You're going to injure yourself if you don't learn when to stop." Az said.
"I can do more, Az. I'm not an idiot. I do know my limits."
Az sighed and shook his head. "I've been in the game long enough to know what you're trying to do here, Love. While I'm happy to see you finally taking your training seriously, I know from experience that the release you're chasing right now isn't what you're going to get if you keep pushing yourself like you have been the last few days. All you're going to get is a torn muscle and a sour attitude. We have enough injuries and pissy crybabies dealing with Rich."
Movement off to the side caught my attention, and I noticed Leighton trying to sneak by. "Leighton, tell him he's being stupid," I called out.
Leighton froze, his eyes widening almost as if he were a deer caught in headlights as they flicked between me and Az. "I, uh… You should do whatever Az said." He said, moving backward.
"What the fuck, Leighton?!" I shouted, moving toward him as he took another step back. "Since when do you just agree with Az?"
"Now, I guess." He shrugged. "I've got shit to do, Victoria, so I don't really have time for your spat with Az."
I looked at Az, stunned by Leighton's reaction to me, but like a fucking coward, he raised his hands and turned to head to the front of the cabin. "I'm not sorting your Leighton problems for you, Love."
I glared at him before the sound of a twig snapping pulled my eyes back to Leighton. Narrowing my eyes on his slowly retreating back, I stomped across the uneven ground. "What the fuck is your problem, Leighton? You've been avoiding me for days, and now you're turning down the opportunity to get under Az's skin?"
Leighton whirled around and stared at me with narrowed eyes. "Really, Princess ? You spend weeks antagonizing and actively avoiding me, and when I finally give you the space you seem so desperate for, you aren't happy with that either. Do you want to be the pot or the kettle in this analogy? You don't get to spurn my attention and then decide you want it when I take the hint."
"I was wrong, okay!" I yelled, balling my hands into fists at my side. "I don't understand why you are the way you are, but after hearing your own sister speak to you the way she did, I thought…"
"You thought what?" Leighton demanded. "That I was a broken toy you could patch up and then I'd magically become someone like Joey or Craig? Because I won't."
I blew out a heavy breath, letting my shoulders slump forward. "I know that. But I also realized I was expecting you to act like them when that's not who you are." I pinched my lips into a thin line as I decided whether or not to lay my thoughts bare for him to do what he would with them.
Leighton threw his hands in the air with a groan, clearly impatient with my silence. "I don't understand you."
"Right back at ya, Leighton." I shot back. "But I think… After what I did to your sister, maybe we aren't as different as I thought. Maybe I want to understand you."
Leighton's face softened, and he ran both his hands through his hair. I'd never seen him look so unsure of himself.
"Taking a few well-deserved shots at my sister doesn't make us the same." He said softly. "If this is you trying to make yourself feel better about that, just don't. I don't want your pity because of what you overheard either."
"That's… That's not what this is, okay. We didn't get off to the best start to begin with, and then afterward… I fucked up by deciding that what I had seen from you was all there was to you. Obviously, there's more to it than that. I was doubly wrong because when things got difficult for me to cope with, I decided to take it out on you because you… You keep a part of yourself locked up and don't let anything get to you. You're different, and I needed to make you my villain because of the mistakes you'd made with me before."
"I tried to show you that I'm sorry for what I did." Leighton lamented. "I did the only things I know how to do to show you that."
"But you never just said the words, ‘I'm sorry', Leighton." I replied. "In what world beside your own is taking me to a fight and having me paint Az's car supposed to be interpreted as apologies? That's not how people like me work."
"Because in my world, people don't say ‘I'm sorry'. If they do, it's usually a ploy and it doesn't go beyond the surface. You apologize by showing someone you mean it."
"I'm not from your world, Leighton," I said, my voice on the verge of yelling.
Leighton stalked toward me, narrowing his eyes. "But you are, Victoria. We grew up in the same circles but different cities. You should know better than anyone here that ‘I'm sorry' means nothing. "
I drew back a step as if I'd been hit. Meeting Lacey had caused me to realize that Leighton Laurent was not just some kid from South Sacona who shared a name with the Laurents, but he was one. I'd lumped him into the same background as the rest of the guys, with what little I did actually know. He was, in fact, from the same world I was.
My upbringing in the upper class wasn't the standard; my parents had been attentive and present. They cared about me and not just because of our reputation or for appearance's sake. But I'd had to learn the rules of the games the upper-class children played all the same. And Leighton was right. Apologies were often hollow and bereft of any genuine regret for the actions that made them necessary. More often than not, they were coerced by parents who wanted to sweep whatever the altercation was under the rug before it could damage the family name.
Leighton studied me closely as I processed the information, re-evaluating things that I'd made my decisions on without the knowledge of who he was.
"You… have a point," I said slowly. "I concede that apologies are worth their weight in air for as much meaning as they carry. But how was I supposed to know that's what you were trying to do without you telling me?"
He tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes never leaving mine. "For whatever it's worth to you, ma petit démone , I am sorry. It never occurred to me that you wouldn't recognize me for my family name. If it had…" his voice trailed off, and he shook his head. "No, I probably still would have tried to show you that I was sorry the only way I know how."
"How about, for future reference, if you're doing something as an apology that you let me know that's what you're doing. Not Joey, or Az, or Craig trying to explain you to me. How about you explain you to me when I need an interpretation."
"Deal," he replied, his face splitting into a grin. "Can we start over now, because I've been dying to know what led to you kicking my bitch of a sister's ass and Joey won't tell me."
"Yes, Leighton. Fresh start as of now." I said, smirking at his comment.
"Great! Pleased to meet you, I'm Leighton. Now, tell me what happened." He grabbed my hand, shaking it for a second as he re-introduced himself, and then led me to the porch and sat me down. "I need the tea."
I gave him the play-by-play of what had gone down on the dock with Lacey. When I got to the part where she called me a whore and blamed me for what had happened to Rich, I had to physically pull him back to the porch to finish my story. He was still stewing over it when I reached the part where he'd arrived, and Lacey made her comment to him.
"The second we don't need her for supplies here, I'm going to kill her." He seethed. "Unless you want dibs."
"Your sister is a piece of work, but I don't think we really need to kill her for being a jealous bitch." I shrugged. "What I want to know is what that Angelica stuff was about."
"That's… I don't think that's a conversation for… ever."
I reached over and took his hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm not going to force you to tell me, Leighton, but I'd like to know what it was that caused you to somehow disappear in a three room cabin the last four days. Not even the other guys really knew where you got off to. I asked."
"Technically the cabin has eight rooms if you count the bathroom, dining room, kitchen, den, and laundry." He responded simply, avoiding my eyes.
"Alright, I'll take the hint," I said gently, "I'd heard Lacey say enough about it that I have an idea of what happened. I would rather know from you, than drawing conclusions based on what she said. But, like I said, I won't push."
Leighton sighed and plopped down next to me on the porch steps. He stared at the ground for a while before he answered.
"No, you're right. I should get it out in the open between us. That way it can't be used as a weapon against you anymore. Just… promise to keep an open mind, okay?"
"I promise."
"In case you haven't noticed before, I can get… obsessive." He chuckled dryly. "When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I met a girl. Angelica was different. She wasn't raised like us. Her parents weren't old money society types. Don't get me wrong, they were loaded. Almost enough to put my family to shame, but they were new money. She was… nice to me, but not in the way everyone else was." He paused, going silent for several minutes.
"Hey, it's okay." I assured him. "I promised I was going to listen with an open mind."
Leighton took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I think it was the first time I'd ever experienced genuine kindness. My parents are… Well, you've met Lacey. They don't exactly show any feelings if they have any. So, when Angelica showed me friendship, I thought she liked me liked me. I fell for her in the way that young kids do, y'know. It was a whirlwind of emotions I didn't know how to deal with. My parents didn't approve, of course, and told me to stay away from her. So… I kind of, sort of started stalking her and showing up in her bedroom in the middle of the night. I didn't know I was scaring her until it was too late. One night, watching her sleep wasn't enough. I wanted to be closer to her and I climbed into her bed."
"Did you…" I started gently, causing his head to snap up.
Leighton gripped my hands in his almost painfully. "No. I wouldn't do something like that. I just wanted to lay beside her. I didn't touch her, but that didn't matter. I fell asleep and when she woke up, her screaming brought her father running. I don't really know what happened between him threatening my life before calling my parents and the day I came home to my mother calling me and Lacey into the basement."
"That's awful, Leighton. I'm so sorry." I murmured.
"Just... that's not the worst of it." He replied, easing his grip on my hands. "My mother had Angelica chained in the basement when Lacey and I got down there. I tried. I need you to know I tried to get her out of there, but my mother hid the keys, and there was no way I could rip the chains from the basement floor. My mother watched me struggle and beg for her to let Angelica go, and the longer she let me go on, the more hopeless I felt." He stopped and took a deep breath. Standing, he started pacing, wringing his hands as if he were trying to work up to saying more.
"She waited until I knew there was no way out of it and ordered Lacey to lock the basement door before chaining my ankle to the floor too. My mother told me that they'd warned me. That her and my father had told me to stay away from Angelica. She made sure I knew it was my fault, that she was ‘ sorry' for what had to be done. And then she slit her throat in front of me. She left me chained in the basement with Angelica's body for two days before she had Lacey clean up the mess and let me out."
"Jesus Christ, Leighton." I gasped, bolting up from the steps and moving to wrap my arms around him. "It wasn't your fault. There were so many other ways your parents could have handled that. Your mother being a psychopath isn't your fault."
"Yeah, well, like mother, like son." He snorted.
"From what I've seen, you're nothing like that." I said firmly. Leighton snorted again, and I held up a hand to shush him. "I'm serious. Sure, you're–"
"A lunatic." He interrupted.
"I was going to say understandably fucked up…" I huffed at his interruption. "But you're not like that . Look me in my eyes right now and tell me you'd murder an innocent girl for no other reason than she was afraid of something most people would be afraid of when they don't understand."
Leighton stared at me for a long time, his brows knit together, but he said nothing. Instead, opting to shake his head in silence.
"See? You're not like them. You don't hurt people like that." I said. "You, like the others… you may not be good guys. But you're not bad men ."
"I am like them though." Leighton frowned, looking away. "My mother, my sister, even my father, none of them feel anything. It's how I know that I'm the same, because I don't feel things either."
I scoffed at him. "Leighton…" I said gently, pulling his face back so I could look him in the eye. "That has to be… the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard you say."
Leighton almost looked like he was going to start laughing for a second before he just shook his head and stepped back from me.
"I'm serious! You're trying to convince me that you don't feel anything. If anything, everything I've seen points to you feeling things deeply, and intensely. You just… were never taught what to do with them. So, it was easier to compartmentalize them, if I had to guess."
"Oh yeah, when did you turn into a shrink? You're not the girl that Phil is seeing, are you?" Leighton said with a laugh.
"Who is Phil?"
"Oh, he's… never mind. You'll probably meet him eventually."
I rolled my eyes and pushed against his chest. "Okay, you need proof. How about when you were the one who steadied me during the shootout at the club because you were one of two in the group who didn't read my fear as an act."
"Well that–" He started, I held my hand up again to shush him.
"Or when you beat a man to death for trying to kidnap me after Joey stepped away. Or when you told my father point blank that you'd never let anything happen to me when he was trying to berate you all for the machinations of whoever started this whole mess. I know you were the one who left condoms all around the house like some adult version of an easter egg hunt too."
"Well… you can't be too careful."
"Yeah, but you did that knowing that you and I were on the outs at that point. Just guessing here, but you'd been needling between me and Az hoping we'd deal with our shit when it didn't directly benefit you in any way. And between you and Joey, you two believed that I wasn't a fake or a liar before anyone else in the house." I said, putting my hands on my hips. "You keep trying to say that you don't feel anything. I don't believe you for one fucking second. You might not know how to deal with it, but that doesn't mean it's not there, Leighton. And you'll be a lot better off when you stop lying to yourself about why you do the things you do."
"Fuck," He groaned. "It makes me hard when you dress me down, ma petit . If you don't stop, I might end up in love with you."
"You already are, idiot. I knew that the moment you beat a man to death with your bare hands for me." I smirked, turning to head into the cabin.
He muttered something about not understanding women and followed me inside. Movement to the right of the door caught both our attention, and I saw Az, Joey, and Craig sitting on the floor, crowded around a cracked window.
"Enjoy the show, boys?" Leighton laughed.
"What the hell are you three doing on the floor?" I asked.
"They were eavesdropping, the nosy bastards." Leighton answered as they all three scrambled to their feet, looking sheepish.
"Well, Az said we couldn't go outside because you two were having it out." Craig shrugged. "It's not like we have a whole lot else to do for entertainment if we're not allowed outside."
"They're going to say next they were just making sure you didn't murder me." Leighton grinned, waggling his brows.
"Oh, man. I gotta take this." Az spoke, pulling a cell phone out of his pocket that definitely wasn't receiving a call at that moment.
"Ope, yep. Me too." Joey added, leaving the room in a hurry.
My eyes narrowed on the device in Az's hand. "You fucking Az-holes , why do you have phones but I'm stuck in the dark ages?"