Chapter Thirty Eight
Victoria
Phil and I exchanged glances as Craig stormed through the house. It was almost shocking to see him in this state. He was always so level-headed that, for a moment, it felt like a different person had just walked in.
"I'm sorry Phil, I–" I started as I moved away from the counter.
"Go on, girl, what are you still talking to me for?" He said with a wave of his hand. I liked Phil. He was gruff and rough around the edges but a good guy.
I turned toward the stairs and rushed after Craig, starting up them right about the time I heard the door slam from the hall. Something must have gotten under his skin hard, and I couldn't help but worry about what happened. I knew there was trouble at the warehouse, but how had he needed to shoot a barista, of all things?
I stood outside his door for a moment, listening. I could hear the shuffling inside and his computer chair moving across the floor. I cracked the door open slowly.
"Craig?" I said slowly.
"What have I told you about sneaking up on a man while he's working, Bunny?" Craig snapped. His shoulders stiffened sharply, and he sighed. "I'm sorry. It might be best… to not be around me right now."
I slid into the room and shut the door behind me. "And that's exactly why I need to be with you right now." I said, moving through the room softly.
Craig's room was an interesting mix of him, kept to organized little stations. His workspace dominated almost one entire side of his room. Different pieces of equipment almost wholly covered the long L-shaped desk. Six monitors formed a giant rectangle of screens, each covered with information that probably only made sense to Craig. Another corner of his room had a different kind of desk, with a few different types of jars and liquids set about it. A magnifying glass and light were positioned above a cotton pad, and several stacks of small white boxes sat beside it. Above that desk were artfully arranged frames, each with a different butterfly or moth pinned to it and labeled. They were beautiful and looked meticulously done.
A plush reading chair was next to a large shelf stuffed with books of all kinds. What couldn't fit on the shelf was stacked above it and on the floor in front of it. Next to that was his bed. It was as large as Az's, but it was a thick, uncovered canopy frame. It was some kind of brushed metal that was treated with a matte black finish. The square canopy frame had bars that ran in a grid across the top. There were similar attachment points all over it, and there were so many it was covered in them. They even seemed to go down the sides of the frame all the way to the feet of the bed. Behind the head of the bed, there was a large mirror. He had pegs lining the wall by his bed and rows and rows of rope stored in neat coils. I smirked as I took it in; he'd even sorted them by texture and color. He had a series of shelves below them with different containers that looked to have hardware inside them.
The man himself was sitting in his computer chair in front of his workstation. He pulled some kind of black rectangle from his hoodie pocket and worked on hooking it into one of the pieces of equipment on his desk.
"Craig?" I said as I moved further into the room. He sighed heavily and turned around sharply to face me.
"Bunny, I'm working . I'm not… in a good mood right now. I'm not the best person for you to be around right now." Craig said, his voice sounded measured as he looked at me. I could see the lingering glare in his eyes and the set of his jaw. He was angry, and it wasn't something I was used to from him.
"I just want… to check on you. This isn't like you, and I'm worried." I said carefully. Craig let out a bitter laugh.
"You are persistent aren't you, Bunny?" He said, standing. "You'd be surprised how much this is like me. It's just not a side that you get to see."
"I've been around you guys every day for months. I've never seen you yelling and slamming doors." My tone incredulously. "You're always so… steady."
Craig smirked virulently before shaking his head. "No, I'm not. That's who I'm trying to be. I have a temper, Bunny. Always have. I keep it on a tight leash because…" He trailed off, and I felt my heart squeeze painfully.
"Oh, Craig, honey. You're nothing like that. Being angry doesn't make you like that." I started to approach him as if to pull him into a hug. He stepped back.
"Bunny, I know you don't want to believe it, but there are times when calm and steady is the last thing you'll get from me. I have to… decompress. I have to work through it first. I don't want you to take the brunt of it." He sighed heavily, a sad expression on his face.
I moved toward him until I was standing almost chest-to-chest. I looked up into his face, my brows furrowed in concern, but I wouldn't back away from him like this.
"Craig Dougherty, you listen to me. You're human, and you have emotions like a human. Anger is one of those and having it doesn't make you a monster. Expressing it doesn't make you an abuser. You are not like that. The fact that you care enough to keep yourself in check when you're feeling your worst is proof enough of that." I put my hands on my hips and poked him in the chest. His gaze flitted between my face and the finger poking him in the chest.
His brows drew together like he didn't understand the words coming from my mouth. I wanted to laugh and shake him at the same time.
"Tell me how one of the two most emotionally intelligent men I've ever met won't give himself permission to be angry, when it's one of the most natural human emotions. It's just as natural as happiness, sadness, jealous, lust… all of them." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "If the situation was reversed, you'd be standing here telling me that it's natural to be angry when the world around you burns. And you'd ask me what I needed to help me get through it. Give yourself the same fucking grace and tell me what I can do to help you get through it."
He looked at me for a long time, his gaze searching my face before something on his face cracked, and he smiled. It wasn't a bitter smile this time, and it wasn't sad. It was my Craig smiling back at me.
"Have I told you lately how lucky we are to have you even willing to tolerate us?" He chuckled, pulling me into a hug. I smiled softly against his chest before lifting up and putting my arms around his neck.
"I know you're still angry, but it's okay. What can I do?" I searched his gaze, trying to communicate that he was stuck with me without saying anything. He slid his hands down my back to rest on my hips, and an eyebrow raised as his smile turned into a smirk.
"I can think of something."
"Is that right?" I said, my breath hitching at how he looked at me. My body was still a bit sore, but the way heat pooled in my lower abdomen and I had to squeeze my thighs together said it didn't mind the idea.
"I want to make sure you're alright with what I have in mind, and if there's anything you want to change, you can let me know." He said, turning me toward the bed. "I don't know if any of the other guys have gone over scene negotiation, but it's to make sure we're both on the same page."
"Okay…" I said breathily, blinking several times to pull myself back to earth so I could focus on what he was saying.
"I'd like to tie you up. I… Rope helps. Something to focus on, something to pull me in and work out my shit in my head. I want to put you in a chest harness, something simple. Perhaps… work out from there if you're okay with a little improvisation on that part. Whatever it is, I will stay on the simple side since I haven't been able to tie you up before. If you decide that it's not for you, then just tell me, and we can get you out of them, okay?"
I nodded, imagining him tying me up, and decided that, in theory, I have absolutely no qualms with it based on how my heartbeat picked up speed.
"I'd prefer to use a natural fiber for how I feel, but we'll stick with something smooth so you–"
"Use what you want to use," I said quickly. "I want to give you what you need."
Craig smiled softly, cupping my face and leaning his forehead against mine. "I know you do, and I love you for that. But no, Bunny. Not yet, we'll experiment with it, but we won't start there. Your body will be in my hands, and I want to keep you comfortable. Besides…" He trailed off, leaning back to give my whole body a once over. "If I'm honest, I think you'd look better wrapped in silk."
I sucked in a breath at how his voice dripped with desire when he said that he wanted me in silk. I could only nod. He started to move us toward the bed, his hands on my hips as we moved.
"While I'm tying you up, I need you to pay attention to how your body feels. If you feel pinching, tingling, numbing, or burning, I need you to tell me immediately. What are your safe words?" Craig asked, his heavy-lidded eyes still sharp as they looked me over.
"Yellow for a break, red for stopping entirely." I spoke. It was becoming something automatic, which was probably the point.
"Good girl." He smiled. "Afterward, I'll check you over with standard rope aftercare, and we can lay together because I know you enjoy that afterward. We'll figure out exactly what you need for aftercare in different types of play, but if you feel like you want something in that moment, just tell me, okay?"
I nodded as my back hit one of the posts of his bed.
"Good," Craig growled, crashing his lips to mine for a kiss that I hadn't been expecting from him. It was aggressive in a way I'd not seen him before. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip, and he began to strip me of my clothes, only pulling away when he absolutely had to. His hands roamed across my body, teasing, massaging, and squeezing me as he explored me. I didn't stand a chance and melted at how he seemed to revel in me.
Finally, he pulled away, his chest heaving. "Get on the bed for me, Bunny. Sit comfortably in the middle." He said as he moved away toward his many rope coils on the wall. He looked back at me a couple of times as I scrambled into the center of the bed, his head tilted to the side slightly. He selected three colors of rope, pulling a few coils off the wall of each.
He laid them all out within reach of me on the bed and made sure there was a pair of sheers on his nightstand within easy reach as well. He stripped off his shirt before he climbed onto the bed with me. I raised my eyebrow as I realized he was still wearing pants. He laughed softly.
"You want me naked, Bunny?" He asked.
"Only seems fair." I said with a little smirk.
"Say please." He replied with an answering smug grin.
"Take off your pants, Craig. Please." I said, stretching the word out slowly as I said it.
"Mmm, now I rather like the sound of that. How can I say no when you ask so nicely." He said, making quick work of removing those as well. He climbed up on the bed with me, kneeling in front of me. He weaved his fingers in my hair and leaned down for a kiss, trailing his other hand down my neck and between my breasts.
He directed me to face the mirror, sat back, uncoiled the rope he needed, and set to work. I watched his face as he began wrapping my body in intricate lines and coils; he was exact in his positioning and careful in his tension. It was pulled across me, tight enough to feel it pressing into my skin but not so much as to be painful. He seemed to lose himself in the work, and I was content to sit and watch him. The silence was only broken by the occasional check-in with me about a knot or a coil in a sensitive area. The three colors created thick bands of designs around my chest, and as he worked, he added more additions, asking if he could move down onto my stomach. He adjusted me as he needed, moving slowly in circles around me. I watched the designs take shape in the mirror with wide eyes as I started to see them come together. Somehow, he'd managed to weave a heart in the center of my chest. The portions to hold its shape formed a weave over my breasts, around my shoulders, and continued in diamond patterns onto my stomach.
"Craig… that's beautiful." I breathed out as he reached the end of the last coils of rope and tied it off. He looked at me in the mirror, a little smile on his face, before he kissed the side of my head, leaning down until his lips brushed my ear.
"Only because you're wearing it, Bunny." He whispered. I blushed a deep red and looked away from the mirror. "Oh no. We'll not be doing that."
He traced two fingers along my cheek and moved my head until I faced the mirror again.
"Look at yourself," he said, his tone firm. I looked at myself in the mirror, my torso wrapped in his gorgeous design. He gripped my sides and sat me up on my knees, moving them a little wide so he could position himself flush with my back. I looked up at him, just above me in the mirror. "No, Bunny." He swatted me on the ass just hard enough to make me gasp. "Look at yourself . And don't move your eyes until I tell you. I'll swat you every time you do; it'll get harder each time. Understand?"
"Yes," I said softly.
He brushed my hair to the side, smirking at the bite mark from Az that still lingered. He kissed it before kissing a trail up to my neck, using his lips and tongue on the sensitive skin to send a fire straight through my veins to my core. His fingers teased the exposed skin between the ropes and moved across my torso before trailing down my stomach to my hips. He teased my thighs and core without giving me the pressure I was quickly starting to crave.
"I want you to see yourself as I do." He said quietly, kissing the back of my neck as his fingers ghosted across my inner thighs. "Do you know what I see when I look in that mirror?"
"What?" I asked, my voice breathy as I leaned back against his chest.
"I see…" He trailed off as his fingers finally found their way to the part of me that ached for his touch. He moved them in slow circles around my clit, his eyes on my face in the mirror. I looked back, catching his gaze. He swatted my ass a little harder with the other hand. "Eyes on you , Bunny. What I see is a woman who's so powerful that she's got five gangsters wrapped around her fingers."
I opened my mouth to say something, but he pushed his fingers against my clit roughly, and my words broke into a moan in my throat. I kept my eyes on myself and watched my lips part as I gasped.
" Hush ," he said with a smirk. "The woman in that mirror is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." His fingers moved faster; he shifted forward slightly so he could move them from my clit to my core, pushing them inside me slowly, using his thumb to continue where his fingers had left off. A low groan escaped my chest as he pushed them inside me.
"I see someone with enough compassion and kindness to make up for the lack of it in those around her." He pushed his fingers deeper inside me. I moaned as he crooked them, pumping his fingers faster. I could feel the coil of tension start in my spine. Something about him making me watch myself enjoying him was incredibly erotic.
"I see a woman I didn't know I needed in my life..." He groaned as I arched my back, rolling my hips into his fingers as he moved them into me faster. I fought to keep my eyes on myself as my jaw was a little slack, my eyes fluttered, my face was flushed, and I was visibly panting. "But now that she's in it, I couldn't imagine it without her."
"Fuuuck… Craig…" I barely got the words out. The coil of tension in my body was about to snap.
"I see… a woman I want more than almost anything I've ever wanted." He said, his voice hoarse with need. "That's it, Bunny. Let go."
I dropped my head back on his shoulder as a loud moan ripped through me. My mind shattered as I came on his fingers, and my eyes rolled back in my head. He wrapped his free hand around my chest to hold me close as my body arched away from him. He didn't stop, didn't even slow down as the waves of pleasure washed over me. It wasn't until I was trembling in his arms that he slowed down and slipped his fingers from me.
"Stay here." He said, climbed off the bed, pulled open a drawer on the nightstand, and pulled out a condom packet. He ripped it open and slid it on quickly, returning to me on the bed. I'd fallen forward, resting myself on my hands and knees as I panted for breath. He took a position behind me, sliding his hands up my hips and lower back, over the ties on his rope, and to my hair.
"You have no fucking idea how good you look…" He said softly, almost reverently. "If we have our way, that'll change, though." He said as he entered me. I moaned, lowering my upper body to the mattress. He pushed his cock inside me slowly, every inch making my eyes flutter as I clenched around him.
Once he was fully seated inside me, he pulled out just as slowly. It was fucking agonizing how slow he moved. Still, it felt so fucking good I was useless to do anything but moan into the covers. When I started to get frustrated and needed more , he finally picked up speed. The sound that tore out of his throat was primal as he went from slowly savoring our session to grabbing my hips and slamming into me. It was like some kind of rubber band had snapped inside him.
"Craig!" I cried out. He pistoned into me with force, grabbing the ties of the rope and pulling me up from the mattress to hold me back against his chest as he thrust up into me. His name fell from my lips like a prayer as he wrapped his arms around me and rushed me toward the edge again. I was a moaning, mewling mess as he hit that sweet spot inside me that pushed me into delirium.
"Give me another one, Bunny. Just one more. I know you can." He grunted, pulling me down onto his cock as he thrust upward. His encouragement seemed all my body needed before I came undone at the seams around him. I came screaming his name, my head dropping back on his shoulder as he kept up his relentless pace. Wave after wave crashed into me until his thrusts stuttered erratically, and he followed me over the edge with a loud, guttural cry.
He held me against his chest as we panted for breath, resting his head on my shoulder and mine on his. We slowly returned to earth as our heart rate and breathing were under control. He kissed my shoulder as we began to shift, and he slid out of me.
"Let's get you out of these, and I'll look you over." He said slowly, his words still punctuated by deep breaths.
"That's going to take–" I started, and he huffed a quick laugh. I felt three sharp tugs, and the rope that had been hugging my torso fell into a pile on the blankets in front of us.
"Quick-release ties come in awfully handy in moments like these."
He laid me down and gathered up the rope to deposit on his nightstand before disposing of his condom. When he climbed back into bed with me, his hands tracing across where the rope had been, it was an odd sensation because I could almost still feel it on my skin.
"I think rope marks might be my favorite thing I've ever seen you wear."