1 #2
The drive home was worse than she’d expected and it was nine thirty as she pulled up outside their house.
Dani let herself in, then pulled off her boots as she sat on the stairs.
They were definitely beyond repair and she sighed.
She really loved those boots. Scooping them up, she started climbing the stairs towards their bedroom.
The sound of soft music, coming from their room, filtered down the stairs.
Coldplay. That was odd, she thought, while hearing Jez talking.
Dani stopped momentarily on the step and strained to hear. He wasn’t talking – it was moaning.
Crap, he must be in pain, thought Dani and just before she called out to him, a woman’s jacket draped on the banister caught her eye.
It wasn’t one of hers. Her footing faltered, trying to process what she was seeing.
There was something wrong with this picture.
There was a distinct smell of Jez’s Davidoff Coolwater aftershave mixed with scented candles.
His moaning continued and Dani realised it wasn’t because he was in pain.
She’d heard that moan before. In fact, she’d heard that exact same moan not just five hours ago.
Her stomach clenched while her feet stayed rooted to the floor as she took a few seconds to pull herself together.
Dani took a tentative step closer and slowly pushed the door ajar.
“That’s it, ride it… ah yes… ah.”
The room was lit solely by candles and through the dim light Dani could see a woman with long blonde hair cascading down her bare back as she straddled over Jez, in the full throes of passion.
Dani watched, frozen in horror, as she saw Jez grasping the woman’s hands as she continued to ride him and he moaned, both totally oblivious to their audience of one.
“Oh, Jez… ah.”
“That’s it, faster… oh God, that’s it!”
Dani clenched her teeth and threw her damaged boots in the direction of them. They hit the wall directly above the bed head with a loud thud, shocking the occupants out of their sex-filled oblivion. The woman screamed out and Jez bucked upwards, shocked.
“Fuck! Shit, Dani!”
Dani flicked on the main light switch, flooding the room with bright light as she stared at them both, her hands fisting by her side.
As the blonde turned to look at who had rudely interrupted their moment of passion, Dani realised it was Julie, the new bar woman.
Julie closed her eyes and her hand shot to her mouth.
At least she had the decency to look ashamed, thought Dani fleetingly.
Julie quickly released herself from Jez and tried to cover her nakedness up with the quilt.
Jez stared, stunned and wide-eyed, at Dani.
“You fucking prick!” Dani’s teeth still clenched as she spoke.
“Dani…”
“Don’t even speak to me!” she seethed. Dani then focused on Julie.
“You. Get the fuck out of my house!” Julie quickly grappled around on the floor, gathering her strewn clothes.
She pulled on her panties and then slithered past Dani and exited the bedroom, her face red as she tried to cover herself up.
“Dani…”
“Shut up! Shut up! You asshole. I wasted five years on you!” Her brain worked overtime, trying to remember any other times that he’d made excuses not to be at work. “Is she the only one, or have there been others?” Dani demanded.
Jez pulled himself up and reached for his boxers, avoiding eye contact. His silence confirmed what Dani had dreaded to hear.
“You’re pathetic! I don’t want to waste another second in your presence.”
Jez’s gaze shot up to her. “You’re leaving?” he whispered.
Dani’s mouth opened in disbelief. He was expecting her to stay; was he that delusional?
“What, you thought we could work this out? Are you insane? I never want to set eyes on you again. You’ve made me look like a fool.” In the distance Dani heard the front door open, then shut.
“Dani, they meant nothing…” He edged forward
“Fuck you!” Dani reached for the coffee cup she’d previously made for him and hurled it at him. Jez ducked and it smashed against the wall, the remains of the coffee splashing against the pale blue paint.
“Jesus, Dani!” His head whipped up to look at her.
“At least have the decency not to lie anymore! I meant nothing to you, not them! I need to get out of here. I can’t stand to look at you.
“ She turned and headed downstairs. Her body shook as she held on to her temper and the tears that burned her eyes.
She rummaged about in her bag and pulled out her cigarettes.
With a shaky hand, she lit one and dragged hard on it as she moved to the kitchen.
She felt humiliated and broken and the image of Julie on top of Jez seared into her brain as she closed her eyes.
She dragged again on her cigarette and opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle of tequila, then splashed a generous measure into a glass.
She could hear Jez coming down the stairs and she drained her glass.
“Dani? I’m sorry. Please don’t go.”
She ignored him. If she spoke, she knew she’d break down and she didn’t want him to see how utterly devastated she was. She stubbed out her cigarette in the sink and pulled open the drawer that housed the bin liners. She retrieved the roll and pushed past him and headed back upstairs.
“What are you doing? Dani, talk to me.” Jez sprinted up the stairs behind her as she continued to ignore him. Dani ripped off a bin liner and shook it violently open, then she opened her drawers and started emptying their contents into it.
“Dani? Stop it!” Jez looked on horrified as he watched Dani systematically empty her clothes into another bin liner. She looked detached and her eyes were hard.
“Dani! Please just stop it!” His voice was louder, betraying his alarm. He moved closer to her and hesitantly reached over to her.
“Don’t touch me!“ she fumed as she spun around to face him. “Don’t ever touch me again.”
Her mind had gone into automatic pilot. She needed to focus on getting out of there; if he touched her, she’d cave. Her heart pounded against her chest as she stared at him, his face confused and frightened. She needed to pack up her stuff and leave.
“Dani please don’t leave. I love you. I was just being –”
“Stop talking. Every word you say is a lie. We are a lie. My whole life with you has been one big fucking lie. You don’t love me.
You never did. How can you treat someone you love like this?
Answer me? I’m just glad I found out before it was too late.
And to think I wanted you to marry me,“ she snorted. “Jesus. At least it’s only me I need to think about now and not anyone else.” She turned around and continued her methodical packing.
“I do want to marry you – I love you, Dani.” He slumped in the chair and put his head in his hands.
Dani huffed as she walked into their bathroom and started scooping her belongings into the next bin liner.
She looked down at her contraceptive pills and shook her head.
Thank God she’d kept taking them. The thought of being pregnant to Jez now turned her stomach.
Then she looked at the antibiotics she’d been taking for an infection she’d had, and a few more pieces to the puzzle fell into place.
She’d had so many infections over their five years together.
Jesus Christ! Jez never wore a condom. He hated them.
She could have contracted all sorts of diseases.
Dani clenched her eyes shut and put her face in her hands. She felt like a prize idiot.
She straightened up abruptly. She had to get out, as far away as possible.
She’d go to Chloe and stay with her. Two hundred miles was as far away as she could get and he wouldn’t be able to come and bother her.
Dani lifted the bag she’d filled and dropped it next to the other two.
She pulled off another bin liner and started clearing out the wardrobe.
Jez looked up, stunned that she was still packing.
“Where will you go?” His voice was quiet.
Dani ignored him as she threw her dresses, jackets, trousers and skirts into the bag. Jez continued to stare blankly at her. Dani pulled another bag out and filled it with her shoes and handbags, not caring if they got tangled.
“Dani, talk to me. Please, just stop it.” He sat watching her move around their bedroom detached and distant, and the realization hit him. She was really leaving; this wasn’t an act. She was actually leaving.
Dani lifted a couple of the bags she’d filled and headed downstairs, leaving them at the bottom.
She then walked through to the lounge and scanned the room.
She’d spent the three years decorating and furnishing the whole house and now looking at it, all she wanted was to get away from it.
She walked over to the small bookshelves and pulled out her old photo albums and her files containing all her personal documents.
She unplugged her laptop and packed it away in its case.
Then Dani walked through to the kitchen and scanned it to see if there was anything she needed.
Her eyes fell on the coffee machine. She quickly unplugged it and emptied the contents into the bin, then wrapped it in kitchen paper and placed it in another bin liner.
Jez had followed her down the stairs and watched her. He’d put on a T-shirt and jogging pants, his face ashen. His hair was dishevelled but he still looked stunning.
“Please don’t leave me, Dani. I promise, I’ll never cheat on you again. We’ll start over. Just please don’t leave me.”
“I can’t stay, Jez. You’ve destroyed everything. I’ll never trust you, ever. I can’t be with someone I can’t trust, however much it hurts,“ she spat out.
“We’ve got so much together, been through so much together…”