Chapter 29 #2
“Juliette!” I call again, desperation seeping into her name.
She’s silent.
If she can hear me, she’s choosing not to answer.
The fight goes out of me. “You can release me. I’ll go. Please see to her body. Ensure she’s put to rest properly.” I swallow hard. “And make sure Caiden—the emperor—make sure he knows.”
“We’ll take care of it, Your Majesty.” They release me, and I stagger toward my room, my body feeling oddly disconnected from me.
What just happened? First Juliette, then Charlotte….oh, gods. I rush into my room. “Charlotte?”
She’s on my bed, passed out. Nate stands nearby, watching her. He looks up. “She’s sleeping.”
Her chest rises and falls slowly so at least I know she’s alive. If not for the red splotches and puffiness around her eyes, I’d think she was at peace. But the remains of her grief are still showing on her face.
“What happened out there?” Nate asks quietly.
“Juliette is dead.”
“How?” he asks.
“I’m not sure. Poison, maybe?”
“And are you alright? Was that the first time your magic…?”
“Yes,” I say too quickly.
“I see.”
“What about you? Do you have magic? Did you visit the temple?” All the legionnaires are supposed to, but I’ve already figured out that Nate isn’t like the others. I’m starting to wonder if he’s supposed to be here at all.
He shakes his head. “No. Not in the way they do here, anyway.”
“Who are you, Nate?”
“Empress…I don’t think now is the best time.”
I close my eyes and rub my temples for a moment, then let out a long breath. When I open my eyes, I find the guard staring at me. He looks younger today for some reason. Maybe because I just looked death in the eye.
“Whatever it is, please, just tell me. I can’t keep living like this where I’m cut off from the truth from everyone. Juliette’s last words were about finding something out. Something she wanted to tell me. Then she died.”
My voice rises, and my heart races. “Everyone around me is dead or lying to me. I’m surrounded by people I can’t trust while they all want something from me. I’m so tired of being in the dark about everything. So fucking tired of all the lies and half-truths.”
I take a breath and collect myself, then speak quieter. “Whatever it is, Nate. It can’t be as bad as what I just saw.”
“You should sit. I’ll send for tea and make sure the hall is clear. Then, we can talk.” He walks from the room, closing the door behind him.
Charlotte’s breathing is a strange comfort, assuring me that I’m not alone.
“Of course you’re not alone, you’re never really alone.”
The room glows purple and my shoulders slump. Mara’s cool calm voice has become so familiar, I don’t have to see her to know it’s her. “Unless you’re going to explain what happened, I’d rather not right now.”
I turn slowly, catching sight of the purple flames for a second before they return to yellow and orange. Mara stands in front of the fireplace; a raven perched on her shoulder.
She strokes the bird’s head, then gently runs her finger down its beak. The creature cocks its head to the side, as if leaning into the touch.
My brows furrow. There’s something strange about the bird. A familiar sort of vibration in my chest. I know it. It was just there in the hall, until it was suddenly gone. “Is that Juliette?”
“Isn’t she a stunning raven?” Mara smiles at her new pet like a proud mother.
My chest tightens. “Why? Why did you take her?”
“I thought you might be happy to be rid of her. She did betray you after all.” The goddess shrugs, but her attention is still on the raven she’s stroking.
“She did, but that doesn’t mean I wanted her dead.”
“So only some betrayals are worth a life?” Mara’s gaze cuts through me like ice.
I wince. “There’s a difference. She thought she was doing the right thing. She didn’t intend to get anyone killed.”
“That’s the fascinating thing about you humans. You all think your cause is the just one. That your wants and desires are worthy above all others. That it’s everyone else who is wrong.” She looks over at me.
“No, you’re wrong. Some things are just wrong,” I say.
She smirks. “You see? You’re so quick to justify your cause.”
“I thought you wanted me to bring this empire down.” It was what I wanted, too, but now I’m starting to doubt everything. I’m tired and fighting defeat. Every time I get closer, something else draws me farther away.
“Oh, I do. But only because it brings about what I want. And since I am Death, what I want really is the only outcome that matters. You see, if it helps me, I will end anyone I see fit.”
My eyes meet the beady black eyes of the raven. I bite down on my lip to keep myself from saying something I might regret. The bird caws suddenly, then flaps her wings wildly.
“Hush, my darling, hush. You can fly soon.” Mara calms the raven, then returns to me. “She’s eager, this one. I think she has a lot to prove.”
“Can she remember? Does she know who she is?” I ask.
“No. Only her purpose and drive. She had a lot of unfinished business. She’ll fulfill that by helping me. Then she can find peace.”
“That’s what the ravens do?” It’s actually kind of beautiful.
“It is.”
Is that what will happen to me if this ends badly? If I can’t fulfill my goals? “Then what happens? After they’re done? After we’re all done?”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that. But I can tell you I have big plans for you, daughter.”
Her words should frighten me, but somehow, a warm sense of reassurance and peace falls around me like a comforting blanket. “Why are you here? Was it to collect Juliette?”
I want to ask again about how she died. What she was trying to tell me, but I am beginning to understand that Mara doesn’t give answers. She expects me to work for them.
“Partly for her but also to tell you to embrace your magic. Stop fighting your gifts. I gave them to you for a reason.”
Whimpering sounds come from behind me, and I turn toward Charlotte. She twists on the bed, making a few more noises, then settles.
When I return my attention to Mara, she, and Juliette the Raven, are gone.
I’m still staring at the place where Mara had been standing when the door opens.
A servant strolls in, carrying a tray with tea. She sets it down on the table in front of the sofa, then pours me a cup. “Is there anything else you need?”
“No, thank you.”
She nods, takes a few steps, then looks over her shoulder. “I’m sorry about your friend, Empress. We all are.”
I notice that her eyes are red. She’s been crying. “Did you lose someone tonight, also?”
She nods.
I get the distinct impression that it wasn’t the same person Charlotte lost, which means, there were more deaths. “I’m sorry.”
After giving me a weak smile, she leaves the room.
I watch tendrils of steam rise from the cup while the fire crackles behind me. It’s darker than it was, nearly night. I don’t know how the day slipped away.
When the door opens again, I don’t turn to look. The measured footfalls are familiar, the steps sounding far too close to those I was getting used to from Brevan.
“May I sit?” Nate asks.
“Please.”
He removes his sword, then sets it on the table before sitting in the chair near me, his posture stiff. He’s clearly uncomfortable. “How’s Charlotte?”
“Still asleep,” I say.
“Good. I don’t really want anyone else to hear this.”
I wait, tamping down all the questions simmering below the surface, afraid he’ll change his mind.
“I spent the last several years living in Vailstead but that’s not where I’m from,” he begins.
I blink rapidly, my chest tightening as emotions I can’t name fight for dominance. “It’s still there?”
“Yes, you know how stubborn they are.”
“That’s true,” I agree.
“That’s where I learned of the rebellion and ended up joining. But I didn’t do it to overthrow the empire. I did it to find someone. Someone who has the same kind of magic that killed my sister.”
“So, you’re here for revenge?” Maybe that’s what I was sensing in him. Perhaps he felt familiar since he was like me.
“Not quite. You see, my sister was killed by her own magic. And my daughter is showing the same signs.” He winces. “I’m sorry I lied about that part. We did lose our first child but we have another. She just turned four.”
“You’re saying your daughter has magic already? Without going to the temple?” My eyes widen in surprise.
He nods. “That’s how it is where I come from. You’re born with your magic. None of this “gifted by the gods” nonsense.”
“So where exactly are you from?” I ask.
“It’s a small island,” he says.
“So, you traveled here to find a—a cure?” I ask. “How does the rebellion help you with that?”
“Because the emperor is hiding the only person who’s ever lived to adulthood with this kind of magic. And I need to know how they saved her before it’s too late for my daughter.”
I open my mouth to ask another question, but there’s sudden, intense pounding at my door.
Nate is up in a second, and I’m right behind him. He throws open the door and the flustered guard only hesitates for a moment when he sees the two of us together.
“Well?” Nate demands.
“Sorry, sir, but I think there’s something the empress needs to know.”