Chapter Four
“You took away his memories, Ellysetta.”
“I said I was sorry!” Ellie met Rain’s angry look without flinching.
Well, with only a little flinch. Still, it was easier to face Rain’s anger than the sad disappointment in Bel’s face.
Anger let her get angry back. Bel’s disappointment made her feel like a belly-crawling porgil, as if she’d somehow betrayed him.
“You told me not to go near him, and I didn’t.
” She glared at Bel. She hadn’t betrayed anyone.
“I didn’t! You never said I couldn’t try to heal him. ”
When Marissya, Rain, and Dax had arrived, they’d found Adrial resting quietly, with no memories of the previous night or the emptiness that had haunted him this morning.
The last eighteen bells were a blank slate in his mind, wiped completely clean.
And when Marissya had made that announcement, a dozen pairs of accusing eyes had turned on Ellie, who had only been able to bite her lip and say, hopefully, “I’m sorry? ”
It was, of course, the wrong thing to say.
It started off a firestorm of recriminations from Rain, an angry tirade that was still going full steam even now, a full quarter bell later.
Adrial had already returned to the palace, accompanied by Marissya, Dax, and Rowan.
Teris and Cyr, two warriors from Ravel’s quintet, had returned to replace Adrial and Rowan.
And Rain was still lecturing Ellie furiously.
She was starting to get angry. All this time, they’d been telling her, “Use your magic. Embrace your magic.” She didn’t think it was exactly fair of Rain to blame her for following his advice.
She had taken away Adrial’s pain, after all.
Maybe not the way he would have liked, but the pain was gone and other than a few missing memories, Adrial was perfectly fine.
She’d even healed him of all remnants of last night’s excesses.
Lady Marissya herself had said the healing had been masterfully done.
You’d think someone would be at least a little grateful for that!
“I didn’t mean to take his memories. I only meant to help him.”
“You should not have touched him,” Rain said for what must have been the twentieth time. “Not in any way!”
“You didn’t specify. Weren’t you the one who told me, ‘When you wager with tairen, take care with your words’?”
His rush of anger was so hot, so fierce, Ellie half expected to see flames shooting out of his head. “That was a game! This could have cost your life. You knew what I meant when I said to stay away from him.”
“I knew? Am I supposed to be able to read your mind now?”
“You could,” he snarled. “If you would accept the bond between us, you would know every thought in my mind as if it were your own.”
Angry that she was being yelled at for trying to help a friend, angrier still that she hadn’t even been able to do that right, Ellie shouted at Rain, “Then maybe I don’t want to accept this stupid bond!
Maybe I don’t want your thoughts in my brain.
Maybe I prefer to keep my mind my own! Maybe you should just go back to the Fading Lands and leave me alone! ”
The echoes of her shout rang in the dead silence that ensued. Every member of her quintet found a reason to inspect the ceiling, the floor, the bare walls.
Rain said softly, “You don’t mean that, Ellysetta.”
“Don’t I?” she snapped, but already her flash of anger was fading away.
His voice had trembled ever so slightly when he’d said her name just then, and even if their bond hadn’t allowed her to feel the uncertainty rising in him, that faint tremble would have given it away.
She’d struck him deeply, in a spot vulnerable to no one but her, and she knew it.
Ellie closed her eyes, rubbing her temples.
She was tired. Her head hurt. Her heart ached.
She’d made a mess of things last night, and that mess had somehow resulted in Adrial’s pain.
Then she’d tried to heal Adrial, only to make a mess of that too.
And now, with angry words that she didn’t really mean, she’d hurt Rain as well.
His pain was like a burning hollowness inside her, as real to her as if it were her own.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Of course I don’t mean it.
I’m not myself this morning.” Then she laughed at the absurdity of that remark.
“This morning? I haven’t been myself since the day you came out of the sky and frightened me half to death.
” She crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to meet his gaze.
“Perhaps it’s best if we don’t go out today.
We’re both tired and angry. I don’t think there’s any point in being alone with each other. ”
“You are afraid.” He sounded uncertain, as if he were groping to understand her mood.
“I’ve been short-tempered with you, over things you didn’t mean to do.
It’s only because of the danger to you that you don’t yet even understand.
Ellysetta, don’t fear our bond. I know I’m not the easiest of men to accept.
I know my own soul, and there are vast wells of darkness in it, but believe me when I say I want only your happiness and your well-being. ”
It was the first time Ellie had ever seen Rain’s self-assurance rattled, and she didn’t like it.
He was her hero, the magic prince she’d dreamed of all her life, a legend larger than life.
She was just a twenty-four-year-old woodcarver’s daughter, a nobody.
She should not have the power to make a legend tremble, and yet she did.
She didn’t want that power. She could not bear to see Rain humbled, especially not by her hand.
“Last night I didn’t know what I was doing,” she said.
“This morning, I did. I tried to help Adrial, even knowing you didn’t want me to.
” She met his eyes and shrugged. “The ironic thing is, when I tried to help him, nothing happened. It was only when I wasn’t trying that I succeeded. What good is that to anyone?”
She grimaced and heaved a sigh. “In any case, it’s I who owe the apology, not you.
I shouldn’t have tried to use powers I don’t even understand.
I shouldn’t have done something you’d told me not to do—even if you weren’t specific.
And I shouldn’t have said I wanted you to go away and leave me alone.
I don’t want that.” She looked at her feet and scuffed the toe of one shoe against the wooden floor.
“If you believed me, and you left, I’d regret it all my life. ”
She didn’t hear him move. She only briefly saw the dark shadow of his boots step close to her own slippered feet before she felt his hands cupping her cheeks, long fingers sliding deep into her hair as he gently raised her face to his.
“I know this has all happened so fast,” he said.
“I know the demands we have placed on you are many and it is hard to become comfortable with so many changes in so short a time. And I am . . . short-tempered, even on my best days.” His voice lowered to a husky whisper, and his thumbs stroked her cheekbones in a gentle caress.
“I did not mean to shout at you nor wound your feelings. Sieks’ta, I have shamed myself.
If it pleases you, shei’tani, I would begin this day anew. All harsh words forgotten.”
“I would like that.”
“Doreh shabeila de. So shall it be.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, a tender gesture that made her heart melt. “Come. Let us dance the skies together.”
They flew for more than a bell, heading west and north, past Kingswood to the rolling farmlands of central Celieria, landing in a wooded glade near the tranquil, clear waters of the Sarne River.
Majestic fireoaks cast their cool shadows over the glade, and the long, flowing branches of water-loving Naidja’s locks dangled in the gentle current like the water spirit’s tresses for which they were named.
Pink button daisies grew abundantly by the riverside, their slender white petals surrounding bright pink centers that filled the air with a delicate scent.
Rain plucked a bouquet of the wildflowers for Ellysetta, and as she dabbled her toes in the cool water, he surprised her by braiding a dozen of the flowers into a daisy crown and placing it on her head.
“My queen,” he declared.
She hunched her shoulders. “Not a very good one, I’m afraid.”
“A warrior is not made in a day. Give yourself time, shei’tani. You will grow into your new role.”
“Maybe. In twenty or thirty years.” She toed a smooth river rock.
“Assuming, of course, that I haven’t single-handedly destroyed every Fey alliance in existence before then.
And caused gods only know what harm to all my friends.
” She flopped back on the grassy bank and stared up at the brilliant blue Celierian sky above.
“Whatever ails Adrial is not your fault, Ellysetta. None of the rest of us suffered any ill effects from your weave save weariness and, for some, a little embarrassment. And the alliance isn’t destroyed. King Dorian holds no grudge.”
“That’s what—one?—out of two hundred?” She flung an arm over her eyes and groaned.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the palace last night.
Even without that stupid weave, I knew the nobles would be offended by my presence among them.
And they were. They resented having me there—and resented you for bringing me.
They are peers of the realm, and no matter what you say, no matter what title you grant me, no matter even if you draped me from head to toe in Tairen’s Eye crystals, I’m not their equal, nor ever shall be. ”