Chapter 16 #3
Instead, he nodded. Accepting the truth.
But she was not done.
“It gets worse,” she whispered.
Sebastian’s brows rose. “How?”
Harriet squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to be brave. She could not stop now. She had to see this through, no matter the consequences.
“I was drunk. And miserable. And I could not understand why my lovers kept leaving me to marry unsophisticated girls.” She let out a hollow laugh. “So I—I tried to seduce him after they married.”
Sebastian stiffened.
Harriet forced herself to meet his eyes, her face hot with shame. “Lily caught me.”
Silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating.
Sebastian’s voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it. “And Brendan?”
Harriet’s hands clenched at her sides. “He resisted me,” she admitted. “He did not participate. He did not betray Lily. I was the only one at fault.”
Sebastian’s expression was unreadable as he absorbed this.
Harriet waited. Heart hammering. Waiting for the moment he decided she was not worth forgiving.
The silence stretched so long that Harriet thought she might have lost all sense of time. Every muscle in her body was braced for his anger, his disgust, for the moment Sebastian finally realized she was too far gone to be redeemed.
But then—
He chuckled.
Harriet blinked, sure she had misheard.
Sebastian rubbed a hand over his face, shaking his head. “Well,” he mused, his voice wry, “the duke’s current resistance to you makes a great deal more sense now.”
She stared at him, her lips parting in disbelief. “You are laughing?”
“I am,” he admitted, amusement curling his lips.
“Because I spent half the night trying to puzzle out why my normally even-tempered brother was so bloody stiff around you. Still. After all these years. And now I know.” His gray eyes gleamed as he gave her a pointed look.
“I also suspect this is what Sophia meant when she said your secrets were your own to disclose.”
Harriet exhaled shakily, her hands still clenched at her sides. “Lady Saunton?”
Sebastian nodded. “She accompanied Richard to see me. To reassure me that I had not caught the two of you in an illicit assignation.”
“And you are not angry?”
Sebastian’s smile faded slightly, though not in disappointment. Rather, in something quieter, something steadier.
“I have been challenged,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “Challenged to be the man you need. And after hearing all this, I understand why you began your quest for redemption and why you need a strong man who keeps his head. I committed to this role when I decided to return to you.”
Harriet’s throat tightened, emotion swelling inside her. She had expected fury. Or worse, pity. But Sebastian only saw her. And after everything, after all her mistakes, he still wanted to be the man by her side.
Harriet could scarcely breathe. She had prepared herself for anger. For heartbreak. For the moment Sebastian would finally look at her and see someone unworthy of his love.
But instead … “You forgive me?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Sebastian exhaled, his broad shoulders rising and falling.
“It is not my place to forgive you, Harry,” he said quietly.
“I did stupid things when I was grieving us. You saw the error of your ways and have been making amends. I cannot hold these things against you when we were not together. I can only hold you to account for what you do henceforth.”
Harriet swallowed hard, searching his face, trying to make sense of the impossible grace he was offering her.
“We were together,” he continued, his voice rough. “And then we were not. I will not hold the last few years against you. I can only start afresh with you, so we can continue our journey together.”
A sob built in her throat, but she pressed her lips together, forcing herself to hold it in.
He was giving her a future.
A chance.
A beginning.
And for the first time in her life, Harriet dared to believe she might just deserve it.
The fire in the grate had burned very low, and the room had grown still around them, as though the house itself had been holding its breath through every confession and was only now, at last, beginning to exhale.
And with another sob, she ran into his arms, and this time he let her.
Sebastian caught her, his strong arms closing around her, holding her as if he would never let go.
Her fingers clutched at his shoulders, at anything solid, anything real, to anchor herself against the storm of emotion raging within her.
Then his head dipped, and he pressed his lips to hers.
Not gently, not hesitantly, but with the full and certain weight of everything they had survived to reach this moment.
She felt it in the press of his mouth, the steadiness of his hands, the way he held her as though she were both precious and permanent.
She had spent years running from the truth, but there was no running from this.
She belonged to him. She always had. And as he deepened the kiss, she knew this time, she would never let him go.