Chapter 26
SPENCER
Her eyes flick up to land on me, and I sense the shock in her, especially when her mouth opens yet no words come out.
I wait a few seconds to allow her to grasp what I said. My deepest secret that I’ve never shared with anyone whom I’ve also shared a bed with.
“You said you shared the same blood,” she mentions with her voice rasping.
“I do.”
“I don’t understand.”
I rub my thumb in a circle on the back of her hand. “I’m her uncle.”
April’s head tips gently to the side, with her eyes squinting with confusion. “I didn’t know you have a brother or sister.”
A ping of guilt strikes my heart. “A brother… I had.”
Her hand squeezes my own tightly, and she waits patiently for me to continue.
“Cameron. My twin, actually, not identical, and we were different in so many ways. I was sporty, and he was into motorcycles and skipping school. The photo I have on my living room wall from high school… that’s him.”
Her mouth forms an O shape.
I continue, “He disappeared for a while, working in a bar on the west coast and partying a lot. We kind of grew apart, and it had been a while since we spoke, but one Christmas he told my folks that he'd become a dad. Hadley’s mom, she was a fling, took off after a few weeks and signed away her rights to Hadley, but Cameron turned his life around. I saw him once after he became a dad, because baseball kept me on a schedule, and I didn’t get many opportunities to see him. ”
I don’t even know if I’m explaining this right, it’s odd to say it aloud. My parents and I just live, we make no effort to say the words, we just acknowledge the situation in our own way.
“What happened?” April moves closer to me, her hand landing on my shoulder for comfort.
“One week in the off-season, my parents got a call. Hadley had just turned two, and Cameron was on his way back from work. There was an accident…” I feel my throat tighten and bile swirls in my stomach. My eyes close, and I have no desire to finish that sentence.
“I’m so sorry.” The light from the fire makes her sympathetic eyes more intense.
“Apparently, he had made a will when Hadley was a baby and without telling me made me Hadley’s guardian. To make it worse, we managed to see him for a few hours before he passed.”
“Spencer…”
It was a grueling few hours because nobody wants to see their brother give up.
“If I could have switched spots, I would have. He always told me how much he resented that everyone focused on me and baseball, but for some reason, he chose me to raise Hadley.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
I drift my eyes back to her. “Nothing. Just listen. I’ll never know why he chose me, but he had an idea in his head that it should be me. I promised I would raise Hadley and be sure she knows who her father is, but he made me guarantee that Hadley would only ever know one father… me.”
“Spencer.” April’s voice is shaky, and a tear falls.
“He wanted to argue to the very end, but ultimately, I followed through.”
April hugs me and pulls me tighter to her. “He chose you for a reason.”
Taking a deep breath, I note to myself how it feels like a relief to share this. I’ve been holding this in.
“It’s fucked up. I wanted to hate him, but she is the best gift, and now I can’t imagine life without her.”
April creates a little distance from us but still holds me. “You’re a dad, Spencer. A real dad.”
“I try.” I blow out another breath. “She was young enough that she doesn’t remember him.”
“Your parents?”
“They had a rough few years after losing Cameron, but Hadley was the light for all of us. Sometimes I wonder if it can be that she gives them a reason to be happy, yet at moments it becomes too much of a reminder. Anyway, they are in a good place now but want to honor Cameron’s wishes, hence why my mom isn’t here every day.
She wants me to be the father that it seems my brother thought I could be. ”
“Who else knows?”
“Hudson, but I doubt he told Piper, and if he did then she seems to be keeping it to herself. And your mom knows.” April’s eyes flood with recognition as the dots connect. “She helped arrange the legalities.”
April nods in understanding. “That’s what you were talking about.”
“Yeah. I told her that I was going to speak with you.”
She nibbles her bottom lip before it begins to tremble. “Why did you tell me?”
I move my body to get a better view of her, squaring us off, because I need her to have a clear view of how confident I am that I should share everything with her.
“No secrets. Only honesty.” She reaches out to rest her hand on my cheek. “That day at Pioneer Park, for a reason I still can’t explain, I saw a glimmer of a possibility of being with someone, not just for Hadley but myself. I didn’t… want to let that go.”
“But you hated me.”
“We bickered, not exactly hate when we both reluctantly agreed to spend a Saturday in a park… together.” I raise a brow because I know I’m right.
The corner of her mouth curves. “I guess I didn’t put up a fight.”
“I don’t want to lose you, so here I am, leaving no stone unturned, because you and me? We’re worth the chance.”
A tear falls down her cheek, and I’m quick to wipe away the warm drop from her skin with my thumb.
“Thank you for sharing this with me. It fills in a few puzzle pieces… puzzle…” April stops mid-sentence and seems to be registering what she is saying.
“Missing puzzle piece.” Her smile tilts a little more.
“What’s going on?”
“Piper mentioned that I’ll find the puzzle piece to answer my question if we are meant to be together in the long run,” she explains.
I’m scared, but I’ve got to ask. “What’s the answer?”
April stares at me for a second, lost in thought, drawing this moment out. “That I’m not going anywhere,” she promises.
The last few minutes of a painful reality are replaced with my heart feeling full, and it’s because of this woman.
I cradle her face in my hands and draw her to me. “April, I’m sorry. I could have handled everything better, but I didn’t want to lose the chance.”
“You have a lot to deal with, it makes sense. I was kind of adamant that you were a cocky baseball player who was bad news, until I got to know you, and now you’re the guy that I hope doesn’t break my heart, which means you kind of have my heart.
” She's rambling slightly but smiles softly when she speaks her last words.
“Having your heart is good because I kind of need it since I love you.” And I have no problem saying that; it’s not a big deal because it’s as natural as the air I breathe.
April plunges forward to crawl into my arms and begins to shower my jawline with kisses. “I love you too.”
I don’t hesitate to kiss her, cementing this moment, taking her breath only to repeat and repeat.
Kissing April’s nose, I move inside of her. We're facing one another in bed, lying on my side with her leg propped over my hip.
Our eyes lock as our bodies move in ripples together.
The first time was frantic, a mess of kisses and confirmations.
Afterwards, we stayed naked in bed and talked about how we will lock away the secret that I shared.
It doesn’t change anything in terms of Hadley.
I keep a picture of Cameron in the house so she's unknowingly surrounded by him, and I will explain one day she had an uncle. I will honor my brother’s wishes, and maybe when Hadley is older, I will re-evaluate, or if there is ever a medical reason that she would need to know, but that’s not what Cameron wanted, and now she’s my daughter, and I don’t want to lose that connection to her.
Last night was a lot of talk and decisions.
We ditched condoms and are relying on April’s birth control, because we just want everything to be more intimate and committed.
All through the night, we’ve been in different positions, and in sleep, we remained in a tight embrace, and when we woke, we said nothing and let our bodies find their way.
I slipped right into her warm wet pussy, and her soft moan into my ear was the first sound I heard this morning, up to now when a string of sounds escapes from April’s lips.
Kissing her to ground myself, I remind myself we are going slow for this round. But her heat envelops my cock as I drag my length in and out, and I just want to get lost in her.
Her eyes close, right before I drag my lips along her neck, tickling her with my morning scruff.
“Oh.” Her moan is louder, and I feel her tightening around me.
I hoist her body closer to me, our bodies flush as I pump harder into her, reaching as deep as I can.
“I’ve got you, baby,” I whisper.
“Spencer,” April coos, linking our fingers resting on her hip.
“Don’t worry, I’ll fill you up. To the rim,” I warn her.
It earns me a long hum, and her breath hitches from my speed picking up.
We’re reaching the final stretch, and watching her unravel in my arms while I’m inside of her is the way I hope many days and years ahead go.
There is something satisfying about both of us already being fulfilled with an orgasm before eight in the morning.
I’ll like it even more if she doesn’t shower and walks around with my mark still inside of her.
I hold the back of her neck and our foreheads touch as we both move together. “You’re mine, April.”
“I’m yours.” Her eyes sink closed, and her body begins to quake.
And it’s not far behind that my orgasm chases hers.
A few minutes later, I’m lying there, still inside of her, as April combs my hair with her fingers. She places a soft kiss on my forehead before she lies on her side against her propped elbow.
“Can I ask what you say when Hadley asks what she was like as a baby? Or if she wants to see photos?”
I trail her arm with my fingers. “She’s only asked a few times.
I do have photos of her that Cameron had, but yeah, I hate lying when she asks about her first step or what her first word was.
Instead, I tell her that she was so tiny and didn’t do much, but when she turned two, then the magic happened. ”
She gives me an affectionate look. “You know what I think?” she laments.
“That my dick should wake you up every day like this?” I attempt to divert us.
She playfully spanks my ass, with her foot wrapped around my middle.
“No. Although, I feel like we will be going through a lot of sheets. But really…” Her tone centers us again into normal conversation.
“I woke in the middle of the night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that some parents give a gift to someone else.
You and I are connected in that way. We both got a gift in the end.
I was a gift too, as I was born because someone helped my mom out, which means I got to experience this life, and you got a gift because your brother gave you Hadley and you’re able to be the great dad that you are. ”
I tilt my head resting against her breast to peer up to see her beautiful face. “Who knew we would have so much in common then.”
“We didn’t. We definitely didn’t know until now, but here we are. We can guide each other, you as the gift receiver and me with the experience of being a gift. You’re not alone.” April’s lips quirk into a fixed permanent angelic smile.
“You’re ready to keep going, you and me?”
“Absolutely.” She captures my mouth for a soft quick kiss. “The tattoo is the date you got her, not her birthday. I’ve figured it out.”
“It is. Day and month.”
She traces my anchor with her fingers. “It means it’s also the day you lost a brother.”
“But I became a father.” She plants a kiss against the numbers. “Destiny,” I whisper.
A silence hangs in the air. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get dressed and get pancakes on the griddle. Protein version for you, secret-hidden-vegetable pancakes for Hadley, and the Pickles-friendly version.”
Reluctantly, I peel myself off her and slip out of her heat, feeling a loss. “I still remember you standing in the middle of the kitchen with pancake mix and confusion when Hadley ran in.”
April flashes me a fond look. “It was crepe mix and apparently one of the luckiest days of my life, but I had no idea.” She quickly kisses me once more. “I'll be down in five minutes, just need a quick shower.”
“Like fuck you are. No shower. Two minutes.”
“What?” She takes the sheet with her.
“I said no shower.” I roll onto my back.
Her eyes grow piqued. “Are you already telling me what to do, and I want to argue?”
“Sounds like us.”
She giggles and walks in the direction of the bathroom. “Maybe I’ll listen. Maybe.” She slants a shoulder up toward her ears. “But since I love you, I may be inclined to follow instructions,” she calls out.
And I’m not ever going to get tired of hearing that I’m leading the way or that she loves me.