Chapter 15
FORD
Walking into my home office, I pause when I take in the mass of post-it notes, highlighters, and notebooks splayed across my desk. My head tilts to the side as I wait for Brielle to look up at me, or at least notice that I’m here, as she is immersed in her book.
Clearing my throat, I wiggle my fingers at my side and my eyes circle the room, taking in the morning light.
“Morning,” she says as she finishes writing a note before slamming the pen down and offering me a gorgeous smile.
I approach the desk, happy that she is making herself at home. “What time did you get up?”
“I think six.” She doesn’t seem sure. “Wanted to get a study session in.”
I perch on the edge of my desk and dip my head down to kiss her. Would have preferred if I woke to her in my bed, but Connor is back, and clearly, Brielle has a few things on her mind.
She hums as I kiss her deeper, and I wish I didn’t have to pull away. “I think you need a break.”
“Oh yeah?” she whispers before her tongue delves into my mouth and her fingers curl around the fabric of my shirt.
I touch her wrists to steady us. As much as I have a few scenarios for this room, we need to talk.
Reluctantly pulling away, I give her one more quick chaste kiss before holding her hands on my lap. “How about we do a pool session this morning, then I take Connor into town so you can have a little space to study?” I suggest.
“Sounds good. Is he up already?” she wonders.
“I heard him stirring when I came down the stairs.”
“I should go make him some breakfast.” Brielle begins to get up, but I’m quick to hold her wrist to prevent her from getting far, and she gives me a bewildered look.
“He knows how to use a bowl and spoon. One morning of Coco Puffs isn’t going to kill him. He’s fine,” I assure her because I know she insists he eats a big healthy breakfast every morning, often including her slaving over the griddle to make him pancakes.
She smirks to herself. “I guess you’re right.”
“Relax, okay?” She nods in agreement. “So, I was thinking while I’m with Connor that maybe he and I could have a little talk. Man to man, you know?”
“What do you mean?” She seems a little curious and concerned.
I run my hand along her arm to ease her. “I know we have a lot to discuss, but I think he’s old enough that we don’t need to be so delicate around him. He’s smart.”
She sighs and sinks back into the chair. “Shouldn’t we tell him together? Wait a little, too? I mean, we’re so fresh.”
“We’ve been together for ten years, just not in a physical sense. I think you can agree.”
Her nose raises slightly. “After I sit for the Bar, then we can tell Connor and drop the bombshell to our parents, figure out how to make this work.”
“We’ll work.” My tone is a little sharp. “We will do all of that, but Connor is different, and I think sneaking around him only elevates stress levels.”
“Maybe.” She breathes out. I notice she is biting the inside of her cheek. “Don’t you want to tell him together?”
“I think it’s a talk that he and I need to have. Can you trust me on this?”
Her eyes meet mine and are filled with faith and contentment. “Okay. Tell him.”
A soft smile spreads on both our faces. This time when she stands, I follow her lead and wrap my arms around her middle to kiss her one more time.
I mutter against her lips. “It will be fine.”
She nuzzles her nose against my cheek, and I can tell that she inhales my scent. “I hope so.”
Me too.
Connor and I walk down Main Street with ice cream cones in hand. We go slow to avoid our cones turning into a mess of melting ice cream. I motion to the bench up ahead that overlooks the park and gazebo by the lake.
“Mom is going to be upset that she missed ice cream from Jolly Joe’s,” he comments before taking another lick from his chocolate ice cream.
I swallow and take this as my moment. “It’s okay, we’ll get her a Turtle sundae to-go after we hit up the general store to grab a few things, as I want to BBQ tonight.”
“You remember her favorite ice cream?”
I give my son a strange look. “I’ve known her longer than you have. Of course I know.”
“She’ll be happy if we bring her back ice cream.”
We both sit down.
“Exactly. Your mom really needs us to make her life a little easier the coming weeks,” I begin. “Her test is something she has been working for her whole life.”
“She would be a lawyer already if it wasn’t for me.”
I toss the small remnants of my cone into the garbage not far from us and lean against the back of the bench, examining him, trying to figure out if his comment was an observation with thought behind it or not.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that. She wanted to spend more time with you when you were younger. ”
My son doesn’t look up from his ice cream cone. “Yeah, because you were always away for games and training.”
His words hit me hard, and a twinge of pain flutters across my chest. “Is that what you think?” Connor rolls his shoulder back. “We were young, and hockey was a way I could give you a life with anything you could ask for.”
“I know, you guys tell me all the time.”
My jaw clenches as I debate where to take our conversation. “Connor, I’m not going to talk to you like a little boy because you’ve made it clear the last few days that you are no longer one. So here we are, father and son, man to man, and I want to be honest with you.”
“About what?” he asks, oblivious and focusing on his ice cream.
Bringing my hand to his shoulder, I decide to dive into the deep end. “Your mom. Me. Your mom and I.” His eyes instantly blaze with curiosity. “I know we’ve raised you where your mom and I are friends, nothing more, but the truth is, we don’t want that. We’re together again.”
“What do you mean?” His eyes turn strange.
“That your mom and I are in a relationship together. I’m telling you because we don’t want to hide it from you.”
“Why isn’t she here?”
“Because I felt you and I needed to talk. I’ve noticed you have more observations and opinions lately, lucky us.” I attempt to offer him a soothing smile. “Us together is new, but the feelings we have for each other have always been there. We just focused on other things.”
“Like me.”
“Yeah, and other goals. Truthfully, I’ve wanted to be with your mom for a long time, but it took the moment where we seem to have achieved all of those goals for me to go after the one thing that should have been my priority all along.”
My son looks up at me with something that I can only pinpoint as a sensitive understanding or attempting to grasp my words. Gone is the child I carried on my shoulders and helped when he fell the first time on the ice. Here is a man in the making.
“Is it why Mom sometimes seemed sad after you would visit?”
I’m cracking inside from the reminders of the facts I already knew. Hearing it from him feels like a heavier punch, one that even reality couldn’t throw at me. “Probably. But I have every intention of ensuring she is never sad another moment in her life.”
Connor raises his chin slightly, as if he’s sizing me up. “Is this really happening? I mean, you’re both not going to change your minds, are you?”
I scratch my chin, proud that he is protective of his mother, the way he should be.
“I don’t think so. In fact, one day I hope to marry your mom.
It’s like this, Connor, everything was already there, every little amazing part that you need to make a relationship that lasts forever, except there was one missing piece, but now we decided to take that piece and add it to our lives. ”
“What’s the part that was missing?”
I laugh and gently nudge his shoulder. “Well, I think you noticed we weren’t romantic with one another. That’s no longer the case. I want to kiss your mom all the time.”
“TMI, Dad.” He looks at me with funny disgust that is all in good fun. “Does this mean we are going to live together?”
“Can you do me one favor?” He nods. “We will talk about where we will live, school, dog or no dog, and what this all means for our family after your mom sits her exam in a few weeks. Right now, she needs us as her cheerleaders, and questions come later.”
“Right, I can do that.”
I smile. “Good. Now, tell me, how do you feel about all of this?”
Connor takes a moment and eats the last of his ice cream, making a point to drag this out because my boy got my streak of humor and games.
“I think…” he begins, “this is the best news.” A smile spreads on his face.
Placing my hand on his shoulder, my face is elated. “I was hoping you would say that.”
“What if I said I didn’t like it?”
“Connor, as much as we do everything for you because you are our number one, sometimes your parents get to put themselves first, and then it would have been our job to prove to you that we are the real thing, and we make one another happy.”
“This news is kind of cool.”
We look at one another with an understanding that I’m proud to have with him.
It’s the type of dynamic that I missed with my own folks.
Maybe that is why Brielle and I are so damn good at parenting; we learned what we needed to do better.
And here I am in an honest and open conversation with my son, listening and being patient.
The thought of my parents brings a near scowl to my face. “Listen, I know you talk to Gramps and your grandparents via text sometimes. But let’s wait to tell them the news, okay? We’ll save everything for a few weeks from now.”
“Uh-huh. Now is stress-free time for Mom, so just the pool, ice cream, and kissing at dinner when you think I’m not looking,” he lists.
He grabs my attention as my head perks at his words, and I connect a few dots. He moves to throw away his napkin, but he doesn’t get far because I gently take hold of the back of his shirt.
“You saw us last night, didn’t you?” I have to grin.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe.”
“That’s a yes. Were you going to bring it up or…” I wonder.
A cheeky smile spreads on his mouth. “You told me we were going for ice cream, just you and me. Everyone knows that means a talk is coming. It’s a classic parent move.”
“So, you let me sweat it out for a little?”
“For sure, Aunt Violet said I should too when I texted her.”
I laugh because this is an unexpected turn, and I find humor in it. My sister means well, and I like that she is a sounding board for him, so I’m not mad.
“Anything else?”
Connor shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll save the sibling talk for later.”
“Yeah, you and me both, kid. Come on, we need to go to the store and get home to Mom.” I stand and wait until he is off the bench.
We begin to walk back to Main Street, and I’m relieved that we can finally focus on being the family we always wanted.