Chapter 10 #2
“Yeah. You’re going to meet with your parents’ realtor?” He nods in answer. “Sounds like we’re busy then. Bo will be with the babysitter, so everything is on schedule.”
“Cool.”
I try not to look at him in a different way. It’s just odd to be sitting here as if life is normal… and the three of us are together.
“I forgot to ask you how your brother is,” Nash says. Yep, general everyday conversation.
“Keats is doing well. Checks up on me far too much, but hey, who doesn’t?”
My brother is older than me by a few years and just moved a few towns over after living in the city. He’s on the legal counsel for the Lake Spark Spinners. We’re close, as our parents kind of live in their own world, divorced and now living with new spouses who don’t get our approval.
Nash watches me intently with understanding. “That’s good to hear.”
“Your mom mentioned in the group chat that she enjoyed seeing a photo of you and Bo together.”
He beams an honest smile. “Yeah, took it when you were getting ready. Figured, it would make them happy.” His attention turns to Bo who is busy chewing on the corner of his book. Nash leans over to take the book away. “Come on, buddy, let’s trade that for some ice cream.”
Nash slides the small cup of ice cream his way and grabs the small spoon. I must be motionless as I watch everything unfold in front of me. The way he flawlessly offers Bo a small bite and then waits before scooping up another. No experience with babies my ass, he must have lied.
I have to wonder. “Did you ever want kids? I mean, with whomever you might have dated… in the past.” My face flushes with uncomfortable warmth. I shouldn’t be asking this.
It causes Nash to plop the spoon back into the bowl.
“No bullshit, Summer. You asked that, and you’re not sure why, except it’s more than curiosity.
” His face is serious. “To answer your question. No. Why? Because there hasn’t been anyone remotely close to y—” He stops short of what I’m well aware he is about to say.
My chest wants to burst, and my throat closes. He’s right. I wanted to hear him say that there wasn’t anyone else. Maybe I wanted him to suffer for pushing me away all those years ago or maybe I wanted him to confirm that I’m not crazy in my theories. Either way, the truth is now out in the open.
We both sit here, trying to understand what to say or do. Ease hits us when Bo squeaks a noise and steals our attention, immediately causing both of us to laugh. He managed to get his fingers into the ice cream.
“Uh-oh, we have a misfit in training.” Nash slides the bowl away while I grab a napkin.
“Must run in the family.” Our eyes connect in recognition.
Because Nash has always done things in his own way.
Which means he will do the same now that he’s back in Lake Spark.
“This is pretty good,” Lexi informs me with a full mouth as we sit by the turned-off fireplace in the inn’s lobby.
I hold up a small wrapped candy. “I think so. I mean, we have the welcome sugar cookies now shaped in pumpkins and ghosts. Now we also have homemade Halloween candy with Dizzy Duck Inn wrappers.”
“A perfect touch.”
“Yeah, completely.” I drop the caramel back into the bowl. Lexi swallows her candy, and the way she’s studying me is unnerving. “What?” I wonder.
“Are you okay? You seem distant. Not in a bad way, just distant in a different way.”
A long exhale leaves my lungs. “I don’t know anymore. It’s more Nash reappearing in my life.”
“Hmm. Is it not going well with him following Zac’s wishes?”
I press my lips together. “For Bo, it’s fine. For me?” My head tips to the side. “Not so much. He’s stirring up too much.”
“About Zac?”
My mouth crosses from one side to the other. “No… Nash and I.”
Lexi surveys the area to ensure we’re all alone, and despite nobody in sight, she still scoots closer to me. “What about you two, exactly?”
“We were together once. Long before Zac.”
She offers me a comforting look. “I kind of figured. You just never talked about it.”
My shoulders lift to my ears. “Kind of hard to. I married his brother. But Nash coming back stirs up a pot of memories, remorse for even thinking some of things that are running through my head…” I begin to list.
She touches my arm. “If you mean Zac, well, he isn’t around to judge,” she delicately reminds me.
“I don’t know what he can judge me for, except it feels like something.
A tide is changing. I could say it was Nash and me fighting, but in truth, it moved as soon as he returned.
And I don’t know what to do.” My lips begin to quiver because everything inside of me hurts, wants, and hopes all in one.
Lexi offers me a hug and soothes my back with her palm. “Maybe this is what you need to move on. We all mourn in different ways.”
I begin to play with the ends of my hair. “Perhaps so. I’m just scared shitless that a door to the past might be reopened. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do.”
I always feel appreciation when my friends listen without judgment. I’ve never shared the full story of the dynamics between me and the Nix brothers, but they would be blind not to see that there is something far too deep. A wound that I’m wondering if it could ever be healed.
The two wounds they caused. Or was it me?
“There isn’t a timeframe for when you can move on. Or explore what needs to be. Maybe that’s what you need? Clarity, and that only can happen in a way that works for you.”
My lips quirk out, and everything inside of me is one big hurricane brewing. “You’re right.”
“Good, because Nash just arrived with the other owners who use inn meetings as an excuse to just have a good time,” she nervously states with a droll smile.
We both stand, and she heads straight to her husband. Stone walks to the reception desk to ask something, and Nash stays put. But I don’t say anything; my chest visibly moving up and down is enough of a message.
“How was your meeting? Or rather time at the ice rink? I can only imagine it was all productive,” Lexi teases her husband and pats his chest.
Holden circles his eyes between all of us, with the stiffness between me and Nash gnawing away at our current loss of clarity. “Not productive at all except for getting some tension out. Funny how skating and hockey pucks can do that.”
She yanks his arm slightly, well aware that his observation is only multiplying the strain in here.
My only option is to escape when Nash doesn’t say anything, instead he wipes his thumb across his jaw. “I’m going to leave you all. Need to check on one of the rooms. A guest had a special request before they arrive,” I explain.
I dart away before anyone can say anything.
My powerwalk doesn’t seem to be fast enough because when I’m upstairs pulling a key out of my pocket to unlock the door, I feel him near even if I don’t see him.
“Go away, Nash,” I request, although I know that it falls on deaf ears.
He steps closer. “I don’t think I can. I think that you are avoiding the obvious.”
I refuse to meet his gaze. “Humor me,” I tell him dryly.
“The shift between us since the other day, it’s changed things. Neither one of us has figured out what.”
Fumbling with the key, I choose not to answer.
“Summer, it’s impossible. Always has been between us. Except now it’s anything but and that scares the hell out of me, which means it scares the hell out of you. Tell me I’m wrong.” He reaches out to grab my arm when I get the door open.
My heart flips, my throat tightens, and a turmoil of emotion barrels up inside of me. I can’t face him, I shouldn’t face him.
But I do.
A mere glance and then I do it.
My hands plunge forward and grip his shoulders as I slam my lips onto his, a world of memories hitting me like a drug.
Instantly, he wraps his arm around me with pure reverence. Our lips don’t need to explore, because they are meeting again in a fierce return. Hard, crushing, and tender, yet fast all the same.
We tumble into the room, our mouths not parting, instead tilting to get more. Our tongues greet one another in a reunion. I swear my body reacts as if no time has passed between Nash and me.
It's so fierce and desperate. I’m not sure who is murmuring and who is leading. The air I breathe is Nash’s again. No thoughts of the time between us interfering. He kisses me just as he did when I was his.
Why aren’t our mouths more hesitant? Why is my entire body easing into Nash just as a piece fits into a puzzle?
Then we slow, with his hands sliding up to cradle my face. Our lips soften, they chase, they part, they return. We stop. Our foreheads touching and our bodies still connected, I soak in this moment.
Wondering if this is the circle that leads back to a starting point.
Nash. Oh, Nash.
You came back wanting to fulfill a promise, caring for me. That was the request. I’m not sure taking my heart back was part of that.
It’s simple. I want to stay. But something still inside me is enough to cause me to flee.
“Nash, this can’t or can or, I don’t know… just, I have to go.”
I begin to escape, but he pulls me back. “Summer.”
My eyes strike up to meet his that are full of devotion to his new plan. Still, I need to breathe in air that isn’t drenched in Nash’s presence. “Nash,” I plead.
He nods subtly in understanding and quickly gives me a kiss on my forehead as a parting gift right before I leave.
Because I’m running away from the inevitable.