3. Isla
ISLA
SIX WEEKS LATER
My nails strum against the wood of my dining room table as I stare at my laptop screen. This is all pointless. I know I’m not going to learn any new facts. I squeeze my knee closer to my chest and sigh as I rub the back of my neck before I glance to my side.
Sometimes in life, you just have an uncontrollable feeling that you’re right.
The pregnancy test taunts me from where it’s lying on the table. Unceremoniously, I flip the test over to see the answer.
Positive.
It’s not even a big deal because in my head I already believed it. The test is confirmation that I was right.
I felt it in my bones that something was off.
The dizzy spell after the staff meeting.
The slight case of nausea when I was at the general store picking up groceries.
By the time my period never came, my head had already done the calculation.
It never once occurred to me that maybe it could be a flu or virus; it was straight-up intuition that I was pregnant. A different feeling.
I thought the pill was enough. Obviously not.
Here I am blankly searching up on the internet what to expect over the coming weeks, with a realization that I need to get an appointment on my calendar to see the doctor and check on everything. Sure, I’m aware that I have options, but for me, this is the decision I’m making.
My groan this time is longer, and I bite my bottom lip to stop it.
I should be focusing on buying gifts for the holidays. Yet my eyes dart between a positive pregnancy test and the screen that tells me I’m carrying a blueberry-sized human, the creation of Vaughn and me.
Moving to stand up, I walk to my kitchen to grab a devil’s-food chocolate-mint cookie from the box. Taking a bite, the sugar relief does fuck all to relax me.
I pull out my phone to call my doctor and make an appointment in two weeks.
Once that is done, I text Hadley.
Sorry. Can’t make it to barre class tomorrow, a bit of a cold is coming on with chills.
It’s a lie, but alas, the internet told me to stay away from certain exercises during the first trimester.
Hadley
Oh. Need anything? The moms will miss you at coffeetime after class.
I laugh to myself, because it looks like I can join the moms club. But then an affectionate smile overcomes me. Hadley’s mom April, plus her mother-in-law Brielle, and her husband’s aunt Violet would only be supportive, probably constantly asking if I’m okay too.
I’m not ready for that.
Another time. Sleep is calling my name.
So is figuring out how to tell my baby daddy.
Sweet dreams.
I have Vaughn’s number, but neither one of us have texted since that night in Florida. And tonight, I’m not ready to try and reach out. How does one break the news?
I better come up with a way and fast.
Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, I fully recognize that scrolling on my phone to check out how Vaughn played during last night’s game against Boston is not the way I should be heading into this appointment.
Nor is getting side-tracked that he is so ridiculously handsome in his pre-game suit that it’s all over social media.
The door to the doctor’s office opens, and I freeze when I see Violet. Not only is she now related to Hadley through marriage, but she’s also the wife of the owner of the Spinners, and a friend in a way, as she joins the Pilates classes. She’s only a few years older than me.
Her face grows crooked as she takes off her wool hat to reveal her dark hair. “Hey, Isla… uhm… didn’t expect to see you here.”
Because she’s about five months pregnant with her second child, so of course she’s at the OB/GYN’s office.
I give her an awkward look because I already see she’s puzzle-pieced things together in her head, and saying I’m here for a yearly gyno check-up doesn’t seem like it’s going to cut it.
Throwing my arms up in a loss, I ask for a favor. “What are the chances we can keep this visit between us? Like, completely sealed so not even your husband is aware. I’m not ready for the world to know.”
Violet comes to sit next to me in the waiting room, and she nudges my shoulder with her own.
“Absolutely. I never saw you here… Is this why you missed barre?” She rejoined when she hit her second trimester and skips a few more strenuous exercises.
Then again, she doesn’t need to exercise at all—she’s stunning.
I pull out my devil’s-food cookie box and grab one before offering her the box. She takes one on offer. “Something like that. This obviously wasn’t planned.” I hold my hand up. “Please don’t ask about the father.”
She quirks her lips out. “Does he know?”
I shake my head. “I’m kind of wrapping my head around the fact that I need to stock up on diapers before telling him. Another point for me, we’re obviously not in a relationship.”
“I gathered.” She touches my arm to comfort me. “He has a right to know at some point, don’t you think?”
I nod in agreement. “I’m trying to focus on one thing at a time.”
Violet smiles warmly. “Okay, are you excited? Babies are a lot of work but oh so fun. And pregnancy can be the best time of your life too.”
The corners of my mouth curve up. “Actually…” A radiant smile hits me. “I am excited. Other than Briggs, I don’t really have any biological family, and well, this baby will be helping my family grow. Plus, I might have already looked at some baby clothes online, and well… they’re so cuuuute.”
She laughs. “I know. We have a bunch of girl stuff if you end up having a girl. It’s a boy this time around, so I get to shop all over again.”
My eyes drift down to my still-flat stomach, curious if it’s a boy or girl inside of me. “Time will tell.”
The door opens to the corridor for the exam rooms and a nurse appears. “Isla Chase?”
“That’s me.” I stand up and look to Violet who gives me an assuring smile.
“My appointment isn’t for a while if you don’t want to go in alone.”
It’s really sweet of her to offer. “It’s okay, I think I need to do this solo.”
“You’ve got this,” she offers in encouragement.
I take a deep breath and leave her to follow the nurse who takes me to an exam room, where a minute later, I’m sitting anxiously on an exam table with a paper gown, and the doctor arrives.
“Hi, Isla, I’m Dr. Forest.” The woman in her forties smiles. “Yes, like the forest with trees and deer.”
“It’s a fun name,” I say. “Not easy to forget. I’m sure you get a lot of jokes about Bambi.”
She smirks at my humor and glances down at her tablet. “Okay, so what brings you in today?”
“Shouldn’t you know, since you’re looking at my file?” I sound kind of surprised.
Dr. Forest laughs. “I do know, but I would like you to confirm it.”
“That’s kind of your job. To corroborate that a pregnancy test at home claims that I’m pregnant.”
She sets her tablet to the side to grab some gloves, still smiling.
“Sounds like I don’t need to tell you that your blood work came back also positive, and HCG levels put you at about seven weeks, but we’re going to have a look because your file said that you had an ovary looked at a few years ago for a cyst, but everything checked out. ”
An audible breath escapes me. “Pregnancy, yay,” I flatly say and give myself a weak fist pump.
Dr. Forest pauses to look at me. “You’re not sure about this pregnancy? We can, of course, discuss options.”
I shake my head no. “I’m ready for this, the baby, I mean.
It is what I want. It’s just… this was really unplanned.
Like, ‘surprise November hurricane, a hotel room with a hot hockey player who just so happens to be your brother’s enemy’ kind of unplanned.
So… yeah… not exactly sure how to celebrate this one. ”
She rolls a machine toward the exam table. “Wow, that’s quite a…” She debates what to say. “I can understand why your thoughts may be everywhere.”
“You’re telling me,” I snort.
“How about we focus on you. How are you feeling?”
My head bobbles side to side. “Tired, nauseous, but so far, doable.”
“Good. If you lie down, I’m going to do an internal ultrasound to check on baby.”
I begin to lie down, with my pulse quickening. Lying on my back, I attempt a few relaxing breaths.
“I’m going to start now,” I hear her say.
But it feels like the thrum of my heart is taking over my ears because I’m a good kind of nervous. I can only imagine what’s about to happen. And when the swooshing sound of a fast heartbeat overtakes my nerves, tears instantly sting my eyes.
I look up on the screen where the doctor is pointing to a blob. “Healthy baby right here.”
A warm tear falls down my cheek. I’m instantly in love. Life-changing emotions hit me in a giant wave.
She zooms in and tilts her head in various ways. “Is there a point to me confirming how far along you are, as you mentioned the one-night hurricane kind of thing?” I appreciate that she has humor.
“Least we can easily calculate, right?” I shrug, with my eyes laser focused on the screen.
“Yes, but don’t forget, pregnancy starts from the date of your last period.”
I raise my long finger. “Yep, got that. I’m quite aware how pregnancy works, which is kind of funny, as you would think I’d have had sense to double up on the birth control, but hey, we’re not always wise.”
“Normally you should be okay on the pill, but sometimes, travel or not taking the pill on time can decrease efficiency.”
“You’re telling me that eastern standard time, that one hour ahead of us, really screwed me over?” I’m sarcastic. I’m 100% sure that I forgot a pill.
Dr. Forest takes a few screenshots. “I don’t think analyzing what went wrong will help. You have a healthy baby inside of you, and you seem at peace with that.”
“You’re right.” I finally tear my eyes away from the screen. “Do I get to take home the photos.”
She smiles widely at me as she slowly brings the wand out. “I’ll do even better and upload the video and photos to the medical app. You can share it with…”