Chapter 12
VAUGHN
I’m waiting for my brother, Stone. I’m thankful he lives in Chicago and just had a meeting with his publisher first thing.
Go figure, a former pro athlete is writing books.
I called him last night saying I really needed to see him if possible, and with no hesitation, he said he would drive out to Lake Spark this morning.
He should be here any minute, which gives me time to read an email from the real estate agent.
I may not have gotten much sleep last night, but I’m comfortable enough to answer back and hit send.
I toss my phone onto the menu lying on the table just as my brother arrives.
“What’s up with you? That phone is getting the treatment of an empty beer can at a kegger,” he observes as he takes a seat across from me, leaning across to touch my shoulder as a hello.
“Sorry, I just bought a house.”
His face turns puzzled. “You only got here yesterday, and you already saw a house to buy?”
“Nope. Didn’t see the house, just purchased it, all cash. I’m sure it’s a great house, at least the pictures look like it.” I grab my glass of water to drink.
Stone gawks at me. “You what? That doesn’t sound like you.”
I tip my head slightly to the side and flash my eyes. “Well, a house is a small problem right now, and I need one ASAP. And quite frankly, I don’t particularly care if the walls are green or blue.” Or pink if that’s what Isla is going for.
Stone stares at me blankly. “Okay, what am I missing? You look like you’ve seen the eye of a storm.”
A humorless laugh escapes me. “That’s a wonderful reference considering my predicament.”
“I thought you were completely excited for this move, plus your new job.”
I scratch my nose before I lean into the table with my arms. “I sure as hell hope I’ll be able to focus, considering I just discovered that someone I slept with is pregnant.”
My brother’s eyes instantly grow into saucers. “As in… you’re the dad?”
“Yeah, as in I’m the dad. It’s not just that… she’s already about to pop, which means she never told me, with no plans to tell me.”
“Shit.”
The waitress arrives with a bright smile then looks between my brother and me, sensing the tension. “I’ll come back in a jiffy.”
“It’s okay.” My brother looks at his watch. “It’s twelve o’clock, I’ll have a beer. This guy here looks like he needs a clear mind, so bring him an iced tea.”
She offers a polite smile and scurries away.
My brother snaps his gaze back to me. “What do you mean she was never going to tell you?”
I hold up three fingers. “I’ve seen her three times since the night we conceived a child.
All of those times, she didn’t mention a word, not even a clue.
If it weren’t for the fact that by accident I showed up to the hospital, then I don’t think I ever would have known until I saw her on Main Street carrying a kid. ” I sound livid because I am.
He blows out a breath. “Holy hell, this is… big news.”
I scrub a hand across my face. “I’m so furious.”
My brother studies me for a few good seconds. “Do you know why she didn’t tell you?”
I scoff a displeased sound. “She said she tried but every occasion there was a reason not to, not the right time.”
He nods in understanding. “Now that you do know, what does she want? Wait, who is she?”
“Isla Chase.”
“As in… Briggs Chase’s…”
“Little sister, yep. Give me another point for making this more complicated.”
He swipes his hands across his face. “Damn.” It drags out.
“Again, minor detail, as we now need to figure out what’s happening going forward. Stone, I don’t care what she wants. She doesn’t get to decide if I’m involved or not.”
“She doesn’t want you involved?”
I flex my jaw. “She didn’t… exactly say that.”
A knowing smirk appears on his face. “Jumping to conclusions then?”
Maybe he has a point. “At this rate, I don’t have a lot of time to guess. You know the doctor said that the baby could actually come at any time now and still be okay. What if I wake tomorrow, and poof, there’s a baby here?”
His eyes narrow. “You sound like you are kind of already on board. If a baby did just poof…” He makes a gesture with his hand. “Then it seems like you want to see him or her.”
“It’s a girl.” That overpowering pull of my mouth to smile hits me again. It happened a few times during the night while I tossed and turned.
My brother smiles widely. “You’re having a daughter. That’s kind of cool.”
“Her heartbeat is strong.” A soft spot within me causes my voice to grow almost tender.
Staring at my brother, the realization hits me yet again. I’m going to be a dad.
It’s a moment before Stone states the obvious. “I think… you know you’re invested. Just scared.”
The waitress deposits our drinks, and Stone gives her an indication to come back later.
I stew in his observation. “Yeah… I am. First it was digesting the news, I felt like someone swung a bat into my stomach. I wasn't sure that I wanted this. Then it was trying to figure out what role I would play. But the real kicker for why I didn’t sleep more than an hour last night is because…” I hate saying it.
Luckily, Stone does it for me. “You’re not our dad. You can be so much better than he ever was. Just believe it.”
“What if I get it all wrong?” I’m throwing it all on the line because we can talk about anything.
“What if you get it all right?” he counters.
I lick my lips and glance at the lake, trying to capture some peace in my head. Then I return my gaze to my brother who’s observing me without judgment.
“I don’t know how to handle a girl. At least with a boy, I have hockey. A girl? I don’t know what to do.”
He raises his brows at me. “Now you’re scared of a daughter? Nah, you’re equally excited. Either way, a child of your own is a whole different territory. You’ll just be seeing a lot of pink and purple.”
A half-smile hits me like a wave. “I guess so.”
“And just like that, we’ve confirmed that you’re doing this. You’re going to be a dad.”
I nod once in agreement. “Is it bad if I thought for a millisecond last night that I should just give Isla money in a trust fund and sign away my rights?” Shame floods me that the thought even crossed my mind.
“Uh…” He scratches his chin, debating the right words to use.
“I think… if it was only a millisecond then you can let it go. Because a millisecond is a speck on the spectrum of your life, not even noticeable. Hell, you can’t be the first guy to think it if he discovers he is unexpectedly becoming a dad.
Besides, you’re here telling me all of this because you want to be a great dad. That’s by far more important.”
I think about it. “I’m not backing away from being a dad… I just don’t know how to deal with Isla.”
“Maybe… I don’t know. She can also be scared or have some reason deep within that prevented her from telling you. You’re not the only person in the world to have fears, Vaughn.”
My lips quirk out, as my brain feels fried from trying to solve the mystery. “I told her I needed space and walked away.”
He chuckles. “Sounds like you really don’t want to make this easy.”
“She never clued me in that she’s about to have a baby,” I reiterate.
“And? She didn’t exactly say you can’t be involved either. You need to talk to Isla. Sometimes we have to take the high road when we shouldn’t have to. She’s the one who is pregnant, so in this case, she wins.”
I shake my head, aggravated, as two people approach our table. I recognize Connor and Hadley right away.
“Hey… well, this is timely,” Hadley greets me, while Connor greets my brother since they know one another.
“Excuse my wife. We came for lunch and she noticed you here. Now she has a strong feeling to insert herself into situations that she should probably stay out of,” Connor attempts to explain what is about to happen.
Hadley throws him a playful glare before sharply turning her head back to me. “Isla is in misery.” She gets right to the point.
“And? She kept a big secret about my baby.”
She stands taller. “You said your baby. Isn’t it our baby, as in Isla and you?” She’s keen to correct me.
Connor smiles tightly at me. “Hadley is concerned.”
“You know, she has her reasons for why she couldn’t tell you.
She tried, a lot. So while you sit here debating how to punish her for that, just remember that all she’s done is focus on the baby, while internally she is scared out of her mind because she didn’t get the life that this little girl is going to have. ”
Fuck, it only dawns on me now that Isla and I share a similar upbringing, with absent parents playing key roles in our probably broken behaviors.
“I don’t think I should be having this conversation with you,” I inform her.
“You’re right. You should be with Isla, planning a future whether together or not. It’s eighteen years to life the way you’re now bound together.” Hadley is feisty but raises valid points.
Connor affectionately touches his wife’s elbow to usher her away. “Come on, I think you need to give the guy some space.”
She glares at me as her body turns away. “Fine. But she has a craving for ice cream sandwiches, just so you know.”
Connor rolls his eyes while his wife nearly stomps away.
“Sorry. She’s protective of Isla who is like family to all of us.
We’ll get out your way and do takeout, it’s safer for all of us.
” He begins to turn but pauses. “For what it’s worth, I doubt Isla did this to be cruel or spiteful. That’s just not her.”
As he walks away, I do my best to take in their words, but that livid feeling of betrayal still lingers.
“See? Maybe you should put your feelings aside and hear her out, focus on the one thing that is important. Is it being angry at Isla or preparing for this little girl?” My brother is challenging me, getting my brain to rewire, that’s what he is trying to do.
I sigh. “You’re right. I should cool off a little more then go to see Isla.”
The corners of his mouth twitch with a comforting look. “That right there is what real dads do.”
A feeling of hope begins to creep inside of me near my chest. I can do this, the father thing. It’s not what I have to do, it’s what I choose to do.
“I’m doing this. I’m going to become a dad,” I confirm before I blow out a breath in an attempt to chill the fuck out.
“I’m proud of you.” He avoids getting too sentimental and holds up a menu. “Now, let’s fuel you up.”
It’s a half-hour later when our food arrives, yet I only manage a few bites, instead opting for a coffee.
“Eat,” my brother demands as he throws a fry into his mouth.
I take a bite of my egg salad sandwich to keep him at bay. “Sorry, my mind is still a little distracted.”
“That’s cool, I get it. As much as I don’t want to get the wheels turning in your head again, but… could you see a future with Isla, not just as co-parents?”
Harsh. He’s going for the deep questions to make my mind stir.
“I really can’t say. We’ve only seen one another a handful of times, not talked much more than that, but somehow, I feel more linked than most.” I’m being honest. As much as I felt a spark and connection with Isla, it’s hard to determine what the future will bring when I’ve always been adamant that a future with someone wasn’t for me at this moment in time.
“Do you want to find out?”
“Stone, right now, we just need to figure out the logistics of having a kid.”
He takes a sip from his beer. “Right, babies need things and a roof over their head. Silly me for thinking a bowl of water and a ball would suffice.”
I snort a laugh at his attempt to lighten the mood. But his mention of a roof gets me thinking about living arrangements. I vaguely remember Connor mentioning in the car that Isla has been searching for a new place; I can only imagine that she needs more space for the baby.
“Got it,” I say confidently. “Isla is going to move in with me.”
Yep, that’s the answer for now. I may be slightly pissed still, but I’m not going to miss more moments of this pregnancy, and I’m sure as hell not missing the first weeks of a newborn.
My brother looks at me in doubt. “Surely, you need to ask her first.”
“Nope. She doesn’t have a choice in the matter,” I say, adamant.