Chapter 28 #2
His thumb starts to draw a circle on my cheek.
“Not my intention. We can’t change the facts, but we can move on from it.
I promise I have. I got to see Nora born, and that’s what really matters as far as your pregnancy is concerned.
You get that, right?” He gently presses his palms tighter against the outline of my face.
I swallow, as this is one aspect that I believe we can both let go of. “I do. We can agree on one thing.”
Vaughn steps closer which only heightens the beating in my chest. “We can agree on a lot of things. Hell, we want the same things.”
“Maybe I’ve overreacted, okay, I probably did. But you said that once you thought—”
He cuts me right off. “Shh, Isla. I was honest, but it also takes a millisecond for things to be clear. I had a brief speck of doubt, only for extreme certainty to follow. A commitment that I’m never going to break.”
Geez, can these tears stop appearing. Do I even have any left? Because water pools at the bottom of my eyes.
“I’m scared.”
Vaughn presses his lips against my forehead and releases his hold on my face, only to wrap his arms around my back to pull me close to his chest. “Fear only makes us do better.”
Through my tears, I snort a laugh. “Is that something from your hockey career?”
“It’s the truth, though.” His voice sounds eased.
He holds me tighter, as if he will never let go.
“This isn’t about our daughter at all. Because we have something to celebrate, as we are the type of parents we hoped to be.
I think you are confronted by the fact that we were probably two broken people who were missing something.
But now we fit together, and it fixes everything.
I believe we are one and the same. Our hope was always lingering.
Now we are two people who connect on a different level than we ever expected. It's scary, but it’s us.”
My mouth begins to quiver. “It sounds so poetic the way you said it, even if it’s the truth.”
He begins to half grin, with his head tilting to the side. “I may have practiced my speech with Stone on the phone, and he gave a few tips.”
I have to laugh at that.
“Stop trying to believe that it’s impossible to be this happy. Just accept it.”
I nod because he completely peeled away the writings inside my heart. “I don’t want you to walk away one day,” I whisper, a mumble against his chest where the fabric is now wet from my tears.
“You don’t need to want something that you already have. I’m here to stay,” he guarantees.
Peeking up to search his eyes, I only see honesty. Especially when his eyes dip down to capture my seeking plea.
With one hand wrapped around my middle, his other slides up to weave his fingers through my hair.
“It’s like this, Isla. My whole life I’ve been playing a game.
But it turns out the one game that I want is the family card with a woman that I love.
I’ve been waiting for you, and I didn’t even know it.
I’ve only ever played to win, and that’s the point.
Once you win, it’s cemented as fact, and you can’t go back to change it.
Which is perfectly fitting, because this family is the win for the game I’ve been waiting to play. ”
His words touch me deep within, even reaching the dark abyss that holds every apprehension and dot of sadness. My mouth slants up slowly. “I think… I needed to hear that… Wait…” It dawns on me. “Did you say the woman that you love?” My head perks to the side as I try to digest a revelation.
That sweltering grin appears again, this time with a fixed sentiment. “You heard that right. I love you, Isla.”
Now I can’t help but smile through fucking tears. “Is this really happening?”
“We already happened.” His voice is neutral as I soak in his words.
I raise onto the balls of my feet to wrap my arms around Vaughn’s neck. “I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s how you feel.”
“We can really be something… real and raw and the dream that’s now fact…
especially since I love you too.” I say it and realize that this proclamation has been building for months.
I never wanted to let the feeling bubble up inside of me.
Feeling it wouldn’t be wise to assess the overpowering wave happening right now.
Because I refuse to let a child be the reason for moving forward if it isn’t right.
But this is right.
Vaughn kisses me in response, his bottom lips nuzzling my own, preparing me for the passionate kiss that ensues, then sewing in a tenderness that feels as though we are confirming we can move forward.
His tongue delves into my mouth, and a dizziness hits me because suddenly my last few days of gray have been replaced with a confidence that everything has fallen into place.
I murmur, and it encourages his mouth to cover mine, ensuring our breath becomes one. I’m going weak from the overabundance of relief and his tantalizing lips. My head falls back which doesn’t help, as he immediately brushes his lips down my neck, sending a ripple of sensitivity down to my toes.
“Getting you to bed will have to wait.” He nips my skin then drags his bottom lip down before retracing his line back up.
We barely part, his fingers combing a few strands of my hair behind my ear.
“We should talk all night. We’re on the same page, but we should go over it a thousand times.
If you want to have extra reassurance, then we’ll put your name on this house.
I can draw papers up to ensure you know that you and Nora will always be taken care of.
I’m sticking around, but I’ll do whatever you need. ”
I plant my finger over his lips to stop talking. “I trust you. Which means your word is enough.”
He pecks a kiss on my fingertip before my hand drops. “Don’t hide what scares you, because most likely I share it too. All the more reason we’ll work hard to have the best damn family and relationship there is.”
I nod and smile as I lick a tear from the corner of my mouth.
“You’re saying all the right things, I believe every single syllable…
but I can’t get these ridiculous tears to stop.
It’s like full-on waterfall, hormones, or the vitamin powder in my morning shake making me produce enough water for the lake,” I joke.
We both let out a stunted laugh, accepting that the hard part of our conversation is over.
“It’s been a crazy few months. Let it go. If you’re still like this at Christmas then I’ll grab a bucket so we can start a reservoir,” he teases.
A quick kiss happens before we whisper again our I-love-yous.
The next hour we sit on the sofa with the fireplace on and recap our months ahead until end of season; we don’t go past that in the calendar. We’re both okay with going slow or fast, we’re seeing where our relationship takes us.
Inside of me I’m celebrating because it’s going to be everything we always wanted.
We already are.