Chapter 7
Just as soon as the thought surfaced, reason kicked in.
It took him a minute or two to gather his composure and ignore the voice that was urging him to take her right here in the conference room.
Just yank down her slacks and underwear and bury himself deep inside her.
Just the thought of it had him going weak.
He actually felt his knees buckling. With one last ounce of strength, he dragged his lips from hers and just crushed her against his chest.
Kady did not understand why he had stopped, and to her utter shock she realized she had not wanted him to. The stark fact of that had her struggling against him, but he held onto her, his arms like steel around her waist.
“I just want to hold you.” His voice throbbed with emotions that had her going still. “Just hold you for a little bit.” Lifting a hand, he stroked it down her hair and then her back.
“I don’t want this,” she muttered without heat.
“I do. I need this.” Easing back, he stared at the face that had captured first his interest and then his heart.
It had taken little to make the leap. He was in love with her, even more now than ever.
When he had been forced to leave, it had been a boy’s wild passion, a fantasy, and he had kept that picture of her in his heart and mind.
Over the years, the picture had faded, until he convinced himself that he was over her.
He cupped her left cheek, the tenderness twisting her up inside.
He had always had that gentleness to him, the care and concern for her feelings and the way he touched her.
Her eyes clouded as she was thrown back to the first time they made love.
He had been gentle then and had shed tears when he hurt her.
Back then he had dove in too fast in his eagerness.
Passion had made him careless, and he had begged her forgiveness.
That’s why she had never been able to comprehend why he had left her like that. It never meshed.
Not wanting to revisit that painful part of her life, she started to move away.
“I’m not at liberty to tell you why I left.” He had read her well. “All I can say is that I suffered just as much as you did.”
Her eyes darkened at that. “I seriously doubt that.”
“Kady-Ann-”
“No.” She shook her head firmly. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please let me go.”
His grip tightened. “I want you to come home with me.” His voice took on an entreating quality. “I want to make love to you. Need to actually.”
Even though her heart thudded in response and her limbs went weak at the look on his handsome face, she found the will to refuse.
“No.”
“You’re afraid-”
“I’m being smart and cautious,” she corrected him. “I don’t care why you left, but that you did. I still have the note you sent with your servant.” She hadn’t meant to tell him that much.
He went still at that, his eyes boring into hers. “I don’t-”
“I remember the wording by heart: ‘Kady-Ann, I’m sorry, but it’s over.
I hope you’ll understand. Landry.’” She gave him a challenging look.
“I thought it was a mistake. I questioned the poor man until he was backing away from me. No doubt, he thought I was losing my grip on reality. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up. ”
She tilted her head as the memories turned inward. “I went crazy and persuaded Kyle to take me to your place. You weren’t there. Again, more servants told me that you were gone. And they had no idea where you were and when you’d be back.”
She shook her head. “I insisted on looking inside the house, and when I found it empty, I broke down. When Kyle wouldn’t take me anymore, I borrowed my dad’s car when he was home and came over myself.
I did that for a month.” She stepped out of his arm when his hold slackened and ignored the stark pain on his face.
“Kady-Ann-” His throat felt as dry as parchment paper. His limbs were jellied. His heart felt as if it was pounding through his flesh. He felt detached and useless. Her words slashed into him with the sharp precision of double-edged swords.
He was bleeding inside, and it struck him that no matter the fact that he was not at liberty to share the reason with her, he did not have a right to ask anything of her. It would be best to leave her alone.
But he couldn’t. It was plain as the nose on his face that he could not stay away from her.
“I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” The words were inadequate as hell, but he did not know what else to say.
“You can’t,” she stated baldly. “If it’s a quick tumble you want, I dare say I can accommodate you.”
His eyes flared at that. “That’s far from what I want.”
“Then I can offer you nothing else.” She turned away to pick up her things. “I’d be a fool to allow you to hurt me again. I need to leave.”
He let her go, this time. He figured he owed it to her to let her have her way for now.
Her words reverberated inside his head, causing a dull, throbbing ache that was spreading to other parts of his body.
He stayed far away from her as she exited the room and followed behind.
Even inside the elevator, they stood apart as if the distance could erase the emotions, the hurt, the pain of the past. With a friendly wave to the security guard, she stepped from the building and headed to her car.
He stepped to his car and, without a word, opened the door and got in. He waited until she had backed out of her parking space before following her.
***
“This had better be a damn emergency. You’re making a habit of interrupting my beauty nap.”
“Rough day?”
“And night. Two GSWs and a two-vehicle accident. What do you want?”
“To say that I adore you.” Taking her wine, Kady sat at the counter and took her first sip.
“Cut it out.”
“Okay, fine. I met with Landry tonight.”
“And?”
She sighed, staring moodily into the glass. “We kissed.” The silence that accompanied that explosive statement stretched on until she started fidgeting.
“Kyle?”
“Well then, I guess I should congratulate you. When’s the wedding?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“I’m being ridiculous?” he asked derisively. “What happened to keeping things on a professional level?”
“It just happened.”
“Well then, I suppose it’s all right. Are you out of your damn mind!”
“Stop shouting,” she murmured with a wince.
“If you didn’t want to hear shouts, you should have kept that piece of information to yourself. That man twisted you inside out and the minute you’re alone with him, you’re ready to take off your clothes. Or did you?”
“No,” she bit out. Now that she heard his reaction, she had no intention of telling him that it had been twice or that she had almost begged him to take her on the conference table. God knows she had spent the thirty-minute ride home berating herself.
“Well, he’s your boss, so I suppose he ordered you to lay your lips on his and you just had to.”
“You’re being nasty.”
“I’m being realistic. And telling you that you’re a moron.”
“Kyle-”
“I’m not finished, damn it! I was there to pick up the pieces when he left you broken and bloodied. Me! And the minute he comes waltzing back, you fall into his arms like a ripe plum. What now, Kady? Are you going to sleep with him and let bygones be bygones?”
“No. Of course not.” She sounded unconvincing even to her own ears.
“I have to get some sleep. Ten minutes tops since you interrupted five minutes of it.”
“I won’t go back, Kyle,” she insisted.
“If you say so. I’m hanging up now.”
“Please don’t hate me.”
“You idiot! I can no sooner do such a thing than refuse to treat a patient on my table. Christ!” he muttered. “I damn well love you. Goodbye.”
She hung up with tears in her eyes. She felt teary and emotional and could lay the blame at his door. Damn him! What had she been thinking, suggesting they hold the meeting at her place of work? And why did she allow him to touch her?
Gulping the rest of the wine, she sat there, staring at the darkened window, her thoughts in a turmoil.
***
He couldn’t settle. He had started the ride home with the constant security personnel trailing behind him and switched directions. He did not bloody care if the man was annoyed at the unprecedented move. He just could not bear to go to his place and sit there brooding. He had a lot to process.
He rounded the bend in the road and did not stop until he came to a deserted side road.
Pulling off the main road, he stopped under a sprawling redwood tree and shut off the engine.
In the mood he was in, he almost wished someone would come after him; it would give him the greatest satisfaction to beat him to a pulp.
Her words came back to haunt him. Bitter words, ones that had torn him to shreds.
He had hurt her; the last thing he had wanted to do was hurt her.
And even if he had done what was best or what was demanded of him at the time, the fact remained that he had destroyed her.
No one told him of her visits to their home after he had left.
He supposed the servants had reported to his parents, but they would not have said anything to him.
The first day when he was ordered to get himself ready, he had railed, shouted, and rebelled. He had tried to find a way to get to her, even a phone call, but haste had been the order of the day, and a letter had been penned for him.
They had been shipped from the country under heavy guards and complete secrecy.
He had spent the hours on the plane curled up in a ball of utter and complete despair.
It had taken him months to even adjust and start living again.
He and his sister had been shipped from Italy to France and then the UK, where they finished school.
Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes briefly, jolting at the knock on his window.
Cutting off an irritated sigh, he pressed the button to let the window down.
“I’m sorry, sir, but it’s not safe out here.” The big, burly guard had a look of apology on his broad face, and Landry was reminded that he was just doing his job.