Chapter 16
His expression was grim as he continued to hold her. Tears soaked his shirt and still she continued to cry. Their wedding night! he thought grimly. How much more was he going to hurt her? Their wedding night and here she was crying as if her heart was breaking.
He had brought her nothing but pain. And he was selfish. He should have left her alone. But how could he? How could he even consider it, when the very thought of being without her was making him panic?
But if he loved her, wouldn't he want what's best for her? His mind was in a whirl, his thoughts a boggy minefield that threatened to explode. He was so mired down in his thoughts; it took him a moment to realize that she had stopped crying and was running her hands up and down his back.
Easing her away from him, he studied her tear-stained face. Her lashes were spiky, and she looked so vulnerable he wanted to take her away and hide her from the world. But the only thing he could do was apologize for his part in it.
"I'm sorry." His voice was heavy and laced with weariness. "If I could take back-" he closed his eyes. "He had a gun to your head! That's not an image I'm likely to forget."
"Neither will I." Her hands lifted to frame his face. "But it's over now."
"Is it?" he asked bitterly. "I was supposed to save you, and you were the one who saved me." His fingers encircled her wrists, his face tormented. "I'm not good for you."
"Just shut up. Please." Leaning into him, she brushed her lips against his, feeling his breathing accelerating.
"We're going to put it all behind us, starting now.
If we need therapy, we will decide on that later, but for now, this is still our wedding night.
" Shifting, she settled on his lap and took the robe off, tossing it to the foot of the bed.
"And I do believe we have reason to celebrate. "
"Kady-Ann-"
"No." She shook her head, fingers busy unbuttoning his shirt.
"We're alive. A madman held a gun to my head and we're alive.
I want my husband to make love to me. I want you to plant your seed inside me.
" She pushed the shirt off his shoulders, sliding her hands over his shoulders and chest. "I want to feel you deep inside me. "
Her words were having a devastating effect on him, making him forget the horror of a few minutes ago. They should talk, God knows, they had a lot to say to each other. But he could not think. His mind was muddled, his body already hardening.
"I just-"
"Stop talking," she whispered against his mouth.
"All right." He helped her with his belt and then with the zipper. Heat, like a bolt of lightning, slammed throughout his body all the way down to his toes when she found him. Curling her fingers around the spearing heat of him, she caressed and stroked him until he was vibrating.
"Make love to me," she whispered against his mouth.
He needed no second bidding. With his mouth fused to hers, he kicked away the trousers and underwear. Lifting her up, he positioned her over him, his hips lifting as he plunged himself into her.
Swallowing her gasp, he held her still as he drove into her. He didn't use finesse because he suspected she wanted nothing of the sort. Desperation lent an added air to the passion that was already spiraling out of control.
It didn't take long for her to climax. The release was long and brutal, pummeling her body like waves crashing against the rock, leaving her breathless, the tremors racking her body.
"More," he demanded harshly when she collapsed against him.
"I can't," she whispered brokenly. Her world was still tilted on its axis, and she could not get her breath back.
"More," he repeated. And to make certain she took more, he reached between them to toy with the swollen flesh that was sensitive to his touch. The explosion had her crying out his name.
Landry felt as if his body was bursting. His heart was hammering, his skin feverish. Gripping her hips, he made one last plunge, fingers digging into her flesh as he emptied himself inside her.
Flopping back on the pillows, he brought her with him, arms wrapped around her. For several minutes, they did not speak. There was nothing to say, nothing that was appropriate for the shattering moment.
***
"It's over." Kathy watched as he paced the length of the room, a frown knitting his brow. They had abandoned all pretense and were staying in the same suite. It was as if what had happened recently had brought things into sharp focus.
"He held a gun to my sister's head."
"And he's going away for a very long time."
"That's not good enough." He whirled to face her. "Is this what's to be expected from your family?"
His tone and the words had her stiffening. "I know you're upset-"
"That doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling."
"Look." She prayed for patience and had to take a breath to find it. "I'm sorry that happened to Kady. I know it must be frightening, but like I said, it's over now." She forced a smile that did not reach her magnificent eyes. "Why don't you come to bed? It's late."
"I cannot really think about sex right now. But thanks for the offer."
Her temper snapped. "Is that all I'm good for? I never said anything about sex. I'm sitting here, hoping you'll find some comfort for me. Has it occurred to you that I need you right now? Who the hell am I to you, Kyle? A handy sex partner?"
"Now look-"
"No, you look!" She surged to her feet, eyes flashing as temper erupted. "I want to know right now what your intentions are. Who am I to you?"
"Intentions?" In spite of the situation, he felt like grinning and applauding her. Riotous anger made her even more beautiful. "As in marriage? I don't think we're anywhere near there yet."
"I see." The anger drained away, leaving her spent. "Get out."
He blinked at her. "What?"
"Get out of my room, my suite, and stay the hell away from me."
He saw past the weariness and resignation to the hurt. He had hurt her with his callous words, and it pained him. He was going to have to fix it.
"No." Suddenly, it was as if a light bulb had been turned on inside him.
He had been hung up on her name and the fact that she had gone through two marriages and her incredible beauty.
He had stayed in the shallows because he was afraid of being hurt.
There were so many factors that warned him to run in the opposite direction.
And one glaring one that warned him to stay.
He crossed the room to her and watched as her eyes flared.
"Don't touch me."
"I'm in love with you, God help me. I never planned for any of this, wasn't even looking for permanency.
My job is very demanding, and it means a lot to me.
When my mother pressured me and Kady to find someone, give her grandkids, it amused me to thwart her efforts.
" His hands lifted to clamp over her rigid shoulders.
"Life with a doctor, especially one who's a trauma surgeon, will not be easy. I work impossible hours and I care about my patients. I love my sister to death. She's part of me, and we're like one. I will always be there for her." He rubbed absently.
"I've never been in love before, and it's ironic that it's with you, Kathy Crenshaw." He shook his head.
"That said, I have to lay down a few facts. I'm proud and will not accept charity. We live off what I earn. I don't like going to society functions, and that has been a fact since growing up. I will not tolerate infidelity. If I find you even looking at another man, I will kill the guy."
"Yes, I'm jealous, and having never been in love before, it's scaring the living daylights out of me. My place is located near the hospital, which makes it handy." His hands went to her neck, thumb pressing against her pressure point. "It's up to you to accept me as I am."
Her frosty look out of beautiful jade green eyes made him want to grin. "Are you through?"
He nodded. "Pretty much."
"One question. Are you asking me to shack up with you?"
His brows lifted. "I'm asking you to marry me."
Even though her heart leapt, she was careful to keep her expression neutral. "Funny, I never heard the actual words."
"She wants words."
"Every woman does, no matter how shallow they might be."
His expression turned sober. "I never said you were."
"The implications were there."
"I'm sorry for that." He eased out a breath.
"Christ, woman! I'm not good with words, and you managed to drag a declaration of love out of me.
" He grinned at the baleful look she threw him.
His hands drifted up to cup her face, his expression turning tender and sending her heart into a frenzy. "Marry me."
"And before you say yes, know that I want a small ceremony. I know who you are, but I can do without the three-ring circus. Well, what do you say?"
"You're the most unromantic person I've ever known." Her sigh was heartfelt. "But it's my cross to bear. I love you, and I don't say those words lightly. I've never said them to another man before." She curled her fingers around his wrists.
"I will be faithful because that's who I am. And the added factor is I want no other man but you. I want children, Kyle-" Her expression turned wistful.
"I want to be a mother. I don't have a good example to follow, but I'll learn. I won't be sitting at home and waiting for you to come home. I happen to love my job at the gallery. And yes, I'll marry you."
"Good," he drew her in. "It so happens that I want children too. Christ! Mother wins after all. She's going to be doing victory dances for years." Tilting her chin up, he claimed her lips and felt everything melting away.
***
Inside another room, a couple sat quietly, holding each other, lost in their own thoughts. They sat quietly in the dark for a few minutes, processing what happened.
"I did this." Jessica was the first to break the silence.