Chapter Twenty-Eight
Bernard
Saturday, October 31/Sunday, November 1
BERNARD FINISHED GETTING ready for Sarah and John’s annual Halloween party. He’d decided on something simple and dressed as Theodore Roosevelt. He’d even shaved his beard and kept the mustache to fit the costume.
He rubbed his hand over his smooth skin.
“I can’t believe I shaved,” he laughed. “Luckily, it’ll grow back in two weeks.”
He looked at his watch. It was four-thirty. He let Ginger out and headed to Sarah and John’s house.
The party was warming up when he arrived. Costumes galore. John and Sarah were dressed as Sonny and Cher. Mikey was a bunny.
“Come in,” Sarah said. “We have soda, snacks, and Friday the 13th playing on the TV in the family room if you want to watch. I think it’s almost over. Not sure what’s on next. It’s a horror film marathon.”
“I could go for a scary movie,” Bernard said.
“Have at it. You know I hate horror movies. John loves them though.”
“I remember.”
“So, are you Taft?”
“No, I’m Theodore Roosevelt.”
“Ah, I see it now. The hat should’ve given it away.”
“And you’re Cher,” Bernard said.
“Yes.” She licked her lips and tossed her hair back.
They both laughed.
“Well, mingle and have a good time.”
He looked around at the guests. He recognized a few people
from Sarah’s birthday party and sighed with relief that Jeanine was absent.
Bernard found Kelly at the punch bowl. He’d dressed as a pirate, complete with a hooked hand.
“Nice costume,” Bernard said.
“Thank you.”
He grabbed a cup of punch and made his way through the small crowd to the snack table. He struck up a conversation with Thomas, one of John’s colleagues at the real estate agency. He regretted it immediately. Thomas was boring. All he discussed was the shifting prices of homes in the area. The best time to buy, how to refinance, and the best upgrades you can make to your home to increase its value.
Bernard excused himself and headed back to the living room, where music played and conversations didn’t revolve around work.
He ran into Devon and Marsha, who were dressed as Fred and Wilma Flintstone. They’d arrived after him.
Devon worked in marketing at his company, and Marsha was the secretary to the vice president. They were a cheerful couple. They discussed their upcoming Alaskan cruise. He’d wanted to take a cruise for years but didn’t want to do it alone.
“Oh, you need to go,” Marsha said. “This is our third cruise, and it’s so relaxing.”
“Maybe one day Rory and I will go.”
Bernard thought about a cruise with Rory. They’d be free to hold hands whenever they wanted, no one judging them. They’d need to find a couples’ gay cruise. A regular cruise for gays was hook-up central and he and Rory had already discussed the idea of an open relationship, and agreed it wasn’t for them. It was common in the gay community, and that was fine for some, but they weren’t interested.
“Oh, you’ll love it,” Devon said. “I have a cousin who’s an agent. I’m sure he can find a cruise for you two.”
“Thanks, I’ll let you know when we’re ready.”
“Sounds good.”
Six-thirty rolled around, and Rory walked in dressed as William Howard Taft. Bernard grinned.
He moved to meet him at the door.
“I’m glad you made it.” Bernard kissed him.
Rory had shaved as well, leaving his mustache. Bernard ran his hand along the smooth skin. It was soft. The leftover stubble tickled his palm.
“Do you like it?” Rory asked.
“I prefer the beard, but I wouldn’t kick you out of bed.”
“You’re such a charmer.” Rory kissed him.
They spent the evening watching horror movies playing in the family room. Having each other around other couples warmed Bernard’s insides. They were like everyone else.
“You two look comfortable,” Kelly said.
He plopped down on the chair next to the sofa. They weren’t cuddling or even sitting close. Bernard figured it was best not to flaunt anything. Sarah and John wouldn’t care, but they didn’t know how the other guests would react.
“Grabbed some snacks, something to drink, and now watching Michael Myers terrorize babysitters,” Bernard said.
“Sounds like a great evening,” Kelly said.
“What can I say,” Bernard said. “I’m a simple date.”
“Whatever works.”
Rory curled up to Bernard. Bernard wrapped his arm around him as they continued to watch the movie. If Rory was comfortable enough to show affection, he’d oblige and to hell with anyone who disagreed, it wasn’t about them.
“You two are such a cute couple.” A voice came from behind them.
They looked up to see a woman dressed as a go-go dancer. Bernard looked closer.
“Emily?”
“Hi, Bernard,” Emily said.
He stood and hugged her.
“I haven’t seen you since Sarah and John’s wedding,” he said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to yours.”
“It’s okay, I understand.”
It was a relief she understood. He missed her wedding because he was in the hospital. He’d drunk himself into unconsciousness after finding Tracy cheating on him. He was there overnight, but it took a week for him to find himself again. His stomach churned at the memory. He’d allowed Tracy to get under his skin and push him to drink his pain away.
“Hi, Rory, nice to see you again.” She smiled.
“You too, Emily.”
Rory hugged Emily.
“Is Chris here?” Bernard asked.
“No, he had a late shift at the hospital. They’re short-staffed, so they called him in.”
“That sucks,” Bernard said. “It’d be nice to see him again.”
“Maybe we can have you over for dinner sometime.”
“That’d be great.”
Emily said goodbye and continued to mingle with the other guests.
Bernard and Rory went back to the movie. Rory snuggled up close again and Bernard wrapped his arm around him. Rory curled his feet behind him.
“So, what would you say to a cruise?” Bernard said.
“A cruise?”
“Yeah, we get on a boat for seven to ten days and travel the ocean. Visit places and see the sights.”
“I think that’d be fun,” Rory said. “Where would we go?”
“I don’t know. Devon’s cousin is a travel agent. He might have a better idea. I just wanted to float it past you before I started looking into it.”
“Yes, I’d like that.”
“Great, I’ll talk to Devon and get more details.”
Bernard and Rory said their goodbyes when the clock hit nine. It was late and Rory had to get up for church.
They stood on the porch. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our day at the park?” Bernard asked.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
They kissed. A hint of chocolate filled Bernard’s mouth as he explored Rory’s with his tongue. He wanted this to last. He wanted to spend the night with Rory. But long trips away from home would draw unwanted attention to Rory’s family. Bernard understood, but his heart ached to hold him.
“I’ll never get tired of kissing you,” Rory said.
“I feel the same.”
Bernard watched Rory walk to his car. He wanted to ask him to stay the night. He wanted to hold him in his arms.
“Rory?” Bernard called out.
“Yeah?” Rory said.
“I’d like you to stay the night,” he said. “I want to cuddle with you, and I wish we could spend more nights together.”
“Bernard.” Rory’s face fell. “If my parents decide to pick me up for church, how do I explain why I wasn’t home?”
Rory walked back up the path to embrace Bernard.
“I understand,” Bernard said. “I just wish it was more than Friday nights and an occasional weekday.”
“I know.” Rory put his forehead against Bernard’s. “I’ll come out when I feel it’s right. It’s delicate with my mother. I know I shouldn’t worry so much, but she’s a large part of my life. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I know,” Bernard said. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
*
BERNARD DROVE HOME , tears threatening to fall. The relationship pushed him back into the closet. He couldn’t be public with Rory. His mother controlled who he was. He wouldn’t do anything without her permission. Dating him was defiance. If Mrs. Sinclair found out, it would be disastrous.
He sighed. Rory was endangering himself and his reputation at the church. He needed to take what he could get from this relationship. He’d do anything for Rory. That included hiding that they were a couple.
*
THE NEXT AFTERNOON Bernard met Rory at the park. They ate sandwiches and homemade pudding Rory brought and enjoyed the sunny day.
“How was lunch with your parents?” Bernard asked.
“Fine,” he said. “My dad and brother know about us.”
“They know?”
“Yes. My brother tried to force it out of me a few months ago.”
Bernard watched as tears formed in Rory’s eyes. He reached over and held him.
“My dad’s the one who said I should come see you back in April. That first Saturday we spent together. I think he knew then but waited for me to accept it.”
“Just like with me,” Bernard said.
“What is just like with you?”
“Everyone else knew I was gay before I did.”
His father told him as much. His parents waited for him to come out. He didn’t come out to his dad until he was twenty-two. Sarah said she knew when he told her. He’d told Rory when he was twenty-four, right after his excommunication. They didn’t speak for a year. Rory came back in time for Jason to break his heart. He stayed. He stood by him.
“Yup, seems that way,” Rory said.
They followed the usual path. This time, Rory put his hand in Bernard’s.
Bernard turned to meet Rory’s gaze.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“I need to be more comfortable in public with you. I can’t keep hiding who I am. The more I do it, the more normal it feels. One day I will be so comfortable being with you that I can tell my mother.”
Bernard leaned in to kiss him. Rory didn’t back away. Their lips melded together. Couples passed, but no one said anything.
“You’re so wonderful,” Rory said.
“I think you are too.”
They finished their walk and headed back to the blanket.
“So, since we both have to be up early tomorrow for work, I was wondering if I can stay the night at your place,” Rory said.
“Of course, I’d love that.”
A grin spread across his face. Bernard could hold and cuddle Rory on the couch and lay with him as they drifted off to sleep.
“Okay, let me go home and get a change of clothes and I’ll meet you at your place.”
“Great, I’ll order pizza and we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie.”
“That sounds perfect.”
They kissed goodbye in the parking lot, and Bernard got into his truck.
The drive home was invigorating. He was going to get the rare night with Rory, where they could be themselves and hide nothing from each other.
*
AFTER AN EVENING of movies and pizza, they climbed into bed together. Rory wrapped his arm around Bernard and held tight. Bernard breathed in his scent. They’d showered, but Rory had an odor he adored. The aroma that drew Bernard to him.
“I’m glad you asked to come over,” Bernard said.
“I want to cuddle with you as often as I can.”
“It’s nice when you hold me,” Bernard said. “I feel your love, your passion, and I know you’re here with me. That you chose me.”
“What we have is special to me. I want to be with you. I just wish I could be out. Not hide anymore.”
Bernard shifted around and locked eyes with Rory.
“You can come out when you’re ready. Not a moment sooner. You’ll know when it’s right.”
“Thank you.”
Their lips met, and warmth enveloped his body. Bernard moved his hands over Rory’s furry body. Rory no longer wore pajamas when he slept over. The warmth of Rory’s belly pressed against his own.
They’d only had sex twice, and both times were amazing. Rory was a passionate lover. He cared about what Bernard wanted. Just like Bernard cared about what he wanted.
“I’ve set the alarm for six, is that early enough for you?” Bernard asked.
“That’s plenty of time.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Bernard rolled over and pushed back until Rory’s chest was against his back. Rory’s big arm wrapped around his chest. He wanted this every night. He wanted Rory to stay with him. When Rory held him, everything felt right. They could face anything together. He didn’t know if Rory would ever move in with him, but he hoped one day Rory would say yes.