Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
LASH
Felicity was right.
I’d never experienced the kind of connection she and her friend shared. Not with any peer or pack member. Not with any ferus I could think of. Not even with my own family.
I tried to think back to when I was a child. Surely, there had to be some bond inside the bloodline. Something that went beyond simple familial obligation.
But no matter how I racked my brain, nothing came up.
If there had been any tenderness or real caring when I was small, the memory of it had been buried deep under the rubble of what came after.
Back then, my family had been considered lucky. Even though they were low-ranking members of the pack, my parents were considered luckier than most. In a village where birthrates were dwindling, the Fates had gifted them with two sons.
Luckier still, the day my older brother, Damek, came of age, he dreamed of a beautiful mate, assuring our family’s name would survive at least one more generation.
I’d never seen my mother and father happier. Their pride filled the house, echoing down the halls. Damek was all they talked about. All they seemed to care about.
As the younger son, I was already used to being swept to the sidelines. Damek was the heir, after all. Even if I had been lucky enough to be gifted with a mate of my own, he would still be the one to inherit the family home and our father’s place in the pack.
I, on the other hand, would’ve had to move a rung down the social ladder. Anything I built, anything I created, would by right of birth and mating order, belong to my brother.
Even my voice wouldn’t have been my own. Our family would still have only one vote in the high council, and Damek would be the one to cast it.
Even if I managed to fill a mate with dozens of pups, I’d still barely have a say in pack decisions.
But as it turned out, none of that mattered.
Because the day I came of age…nothing happened.
I didn’t dream of a mate that night or any other.
And as soon as it became clear to my family that my destiny was the same as all the other unblessed alphas in the Wild, I faded into the background of their minds.
I was shuffled out of the house to make room for Damek’s growing family and relocated to the area for unmated alphas—a crowded ring of one-room shacks that ringed the village.
From there, I was forced to watch from a distance as the rest of my family lived their lives. As my brother’s family grew. As my parents became grandparents. As Damek’s mate grew to be respected among the other women in the village.
And as all of them made it crystal clear with their lack of interest, that I was no longer considered a true member of the family.
I told myself it didn’t matter.
It was a transition that all unmated alphas went through. If our contribution to the pack could not be measured in mates and pups, then it needed to be given in physical service.
We were the warriors. The soldiers tasked with defending the pack’s next generation. The muscle expected to spill our blood to protect the ferus way of life.
I threw myself into this new role, hoping to prove to my family that there was still some value in me after all. I worked my ass off to become the best at every task I was given—the best hunter, the best tracker, the best fighter.
But becoming the best and staying the best were very different animals. Every day, it seemed I had to defend my crown from some new pup looking to steal the glory for himself. Usually, it didn’t take more than a couple of punches and a flick of my claws for them to learn the error of their ways.
But with all that fighting, my reputation as the quick-tempered alpha you didn’t want to fuck with quickly spread. Not just through our pack, but to the neighboring territories as well.
And that reputation only grew stronger as talk of possible kirre mates grew louder.
Rumors of such a thing had been floating around since before I was born, but I never gave the idea much thought. Why would I? From an early age, my parents had made it clear that tales like that were nothing more than perverted fantasies.
And the older I grew, the more that attitude cemented in my mind.
The way I figured it, all of us unmated alphas were in the same boat.
For centuries, men like us had been forced from our homes and families.
We’d been told to sacrifice our blood for the greater good of the pack.
We’d given up comfort and companionship, all because of our belief in the wisdom of the Fates.
But now some pack members were talking about the kirre as if they were the solution to all our problems, instead of the thorn in our sides.
They wanted to dilute our ferus blood by mingling it with a weaker breed of man.
As far as I was concerned, even considering such a thing was the same as shitting on the soul of every unmated alpha.
I didn’t care about returning the world to balance or some prophesied reunion of alpha and omega.
Fuck that.
I saw their bullshit for what it was—nothing but lies and manipulation. The sick rationalizations of lonely alphas.
But it was all just talk until Hannah Carter showed up at our gates.
The first kirre mate and the woman who had ripped our pack apart.
I couldn’t even stand the idea of her. So much so that I’d gone out of my way to punch her mate in the jaw in front of the whole pack.
After that, there was no backing down.
I’d taken a stand—a very public stand. As far as the rest of the pack was concerned, my position was set in stone.
So, when Nelissa fled the pack after her mate’s failed attempt on Hannah’s life, everyone figured I’d be among the group of traitors who abandoned the pack to follow her.
Though in our defense, it wasn’t as if the village had given us many reasons to stay. Hardliners like Tauren and Kyre made it clear that opposition alphas like me only had two options: submission or humiliation.
I would rather have died than make that choice.
Instead, I left to join Nelissa’s outlaw pack—though not because I felt some great sense of loyalty toward her. By this point, my allegiances were firm. The only person I owed fealty to was myself. The only thing I honored was my own sense of right.
While I was in Nelissa’s camp, I followed her commands, but only because they served me.
I went when she ordered us to raid village outposts because I figured I deserved the goods inside. I obeyed her commands to attack pack guards because I wanted revenge. And I’d been happy to bring her any kirre who came too close to the Wall because I wanted them to suffer the way I’d suffered.
But then the Fates had sent me Felicity.
And now everything had changed.
I used to think that being saddled with a kirre mate would be torture—a fate worse than death. But I’d only been half right.
It was torture. A sublime kind of torment that never stopped pulling me to pieces. An agony that I never wanted to end.
Everything about her tested me, frustrated me, pushed past my limits, yet I’d never craved anything or anyone more. And that desire went beyond the simple lust of a mating bond.
It was sparked by the way she looked at me, how she talked to me. Not like a disappointing younger son. Or a vengeful traitor. Or a mindless underling.
But as an equal.
A man that she could speak and reason and argue with. Someone worth her time and energy. Someone who was worth understanding.
No one had ever treated me like that.
Not my old pack, and especially not Nelissa.
Her kindness was enough to make me reconsider every prejudice I’d ever harbored about the kirre. Sure, they might be weaker than the ferus on the outside, but if even a few of the kirre were like Felicity, they matched us in resolve.
Even now, she was willing to sacrifice her safety just for a chance to help her friend.
A chance—that was the important part.
Again and again, I tried to tell her there was no guarantee that her plan would work. Even if we managed to make it to the village gates without being ambushed by Nelissa’s forces, the odds were good that Calindra’s pack would attack us both on sight.
“You underestimate just how much that pack hates me,” I told her.
But she just shook her head.
“So did I a few days ago,” she argued. “But I came around. So will they after I explain the situation.”
“They won’t give you that chance.” I reached out to cup her cheek, pain piercing my heart just at the thought that one of those bastards might try to hurt her. “They’ll cut you down the second they realize you’re my mate.”
“Not if I talk to Sophia first,” she said. “She’d never let that happen.”
“You don’t understand,” I tried to get through to her. “She’s not your friend anymore. She’s Kyre’s mate. Her allegiance has shifted to him now.”
She laughed—a sweet, melodic sound that wrapped around me even though I knew it was at my expense.
“And you don’t understand kirre,” she said. “We’re able to be loyal to multiple people at once.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It will once you have friends.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I grumbled.
But her smile only grew. “Sure it will…right after you meet Sophia. She’s going to love you once she gets to know you.”
Damn! How could one woman be so adorable and exasperating at the same time? It didn’t seem possible.
“But she’s never going to know me,” I told Felicity plainly. “Because I’m not taking you to the village. You’ll just have to find another way to warn her.”
“Like in my dreams?”
“Sure,” I muttered before distracting myself with another bite of rabbit. “Whatever.”
“But you just said you didn’t want me to do that anymore.”
A growl of frustration rumbled through my chest before I could swallow. “Are you trying to provoke me?”
She shrugged, a mischievous twinkle lighting up her eyes.
“Maybe a little,” she said. “But only to point out how ridiculous you’re acting. Have you stopped to consider the possibility that, if we asked them, your old pack might actually help us fight Nelissa?”
No, I hadn’t. Mostly because it was madness. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” I asked. “What about that saying—the enemy of my enemy is my friend?”
“That must be a kirre saying,” I told her. “Here in the Wilds, the enemy of enemy can rot in the same grave as far as I care.”
“That’s not as catchy,” she said, scowling up at me.
“But it is better advice,” I shot back. “I won’t risk your life, Felicity.
Not for some stranger. And sure as hell not for a pack of cowards who would like nothing more than to see both of us dead.
So tomorrow, I’m getting us the hell out of here.
We’re going to the mountains, and I don’t care if I have to stuff you in that damn sack to carry you there. ”
She looked up at me silently, the resolve in her eyes hardening.
“That’s what you think.”