Lash (Club Sin #7)

19. An Infinite Moment

an infinite moment

Lash

I gradually rise from so deep a sleep that I am disoriented at first, unsure when and where I am. Sunlight is bright and warm, and I feel heavy-limbed. A soft female snore huffs adorably nearby, breath hot on my back.

At first, for the briefest of moments, I think it is Ileana, but then memory surges through me, awareness returning, and there's another brief, inescapable moment of sorrow. I allow myself that moment, breathing through it, letting myself miss her. There is a twinge of guilt at this, as if I am betraying Tatiana, but I push that feeling away, knowing my Tati would not begrudge me a moment of missing Ileana.

The moment passes, and Ileana's ghost fades into the ether. Tatiana is spooning me from behind, her knees tucked up behind mine, hips to my buttocks, breasts against my back, forehead and nose against my shoulder blades. Her hand has found its way up under my shirt and curls against my stomach.

For a measureless time, I drowse there in the bed with her, not quite asleep nor awake. The sun is warm, bathing me in yellow heat, and Tatiana is soft against my back, the rhythm of her breathing lulling me into a trance-like state. Time ceases to exist, and I luxuriate in the warm contentedness of the infinite moment.

At some point, Tatiana's hand twitches against my belly. She snuffles, delicately rubbing her nose against my back. Makes a soft, wordless sound in her throat as she drifts up toward wakefulness. Then she yawns, stretching, arching her breasts and belly against my back, pulling at my stomach.

“Hi, baby," she whispers in Croatian.

"Good morning," I say, also in Croatian. “Or at least I think it is morning. I am not sure, and I must confess, I do not much care."

"Me either." She nuzzles the back of my neck. "I slept like a dead person."

"So did I."

For a moment or two, we linger in the sweet, wakeful silence together. And then Tatiana groans. "My god, I have to pee so bad. I do not want to get out of bed right now, though."

I can only laugh. “Unfortunately, I cannot help you with that," I grumble wordlessly. "Of course, now that you said so, I realize I have to go as well."

She laughs, kisses my shoulder, and rolls away. I stay as I am, hearing her pee and wash her hands. She climbs back under the covers and snuggles up against me once more. "Your turn. Hurry up and come back to me."

I take care of my bladder, wash my hands, and rinse out my mouth with water and the complimentary mouthwash. I'd fallen asleep in my clothes, and now I strip out of them—Tatiana's clothes lay in a pile on the floor near the toilet, and the knowledge that she is naked under the blankets sets my libido on fire.

Our little rendezvous in the back of the cargo plane was fun, and satisfying for what it was, but nothing can sate my ravenous hunger for Tatiana, my insatiable need to make love with her.

Her eyes blaze brightly as I swagger back to the bed—the need in her eyes fills me with pride that she wants me, needs me. She has the blanket pulled up to her nose, so only her eyes, nose, and the top of her head peek out, but the brilliant fervor in her eyes follows my every step, lingering on the sway of my cock as it unfurls with every step closer to her.

When I reach the side of the bed, she tosses the blankets open, revealing her nude form. She is posed perfectly, a goddess made of flesh—head resting on one hand, hair spread around her in a crow-black curtain, on her side with her knees slightly bent, her other hand draped down her thigh. Her bust, waist, and hip form the loveliest, most mouth-watering curve I have ever seen, and my cock jerks to a painful erection.

"So fucking beautiful," I whisper in English.

Her smile is shy and pleased at the same time, and she reaches for me, fingers curling around my cock as her eyes lock on mine. "So are you, my mighty warrior." She continues in Croatian, and even the sound of her voice in her native language turns me on.

She pulls me toward her, and I kneel on the bed. Brace on all fours above her and dip down, claiming the plump wet softness of her mouth. She opens for me with a groan, and her tongue rakes through my mouth. I shift my weight to one hand, tangling my tongue with hers, and find her center. She's wet and warm for me, slick and soft and waiting for my touch.

I fit my middle finger along her seam and drag it upward to the turgid nub of her clit—she gasps into the kiss. I delve my finger into her sweet, wet, waiting channel, dive deep, withdraw, smear her desire over her clit again. I'm rewarded with a quiet whimper and a twitch of her hips. I do it again, and now the hip twitch becomes a thrust. Her fist plunges down my hard length, and I groan, circling her clit with my finger; we groan together, Tatiana arching up into my touch while I push into hers.

"Nico," she whispers. "Please. I need you inside me, my love."

"Condom," I growl.

"Purse," she answers in a whisper, pointing at the leather backpack-style purse she's managed to keep hold of all the way since Zagreb.

With an inventive string of curses in Romani, I roll off the bed and go to her purse, on the small table behind the couch in the sitting area. I find the string of packets, rip a couple off, and tear one open with my teeth while I hurry back to her. I roll it on as I kneel on the bed, and then she grabs my sheathed cock and pulls me to her. She guides me to her entrance, notches me between her lips, and takes me inside her, all in a single, fluid movement, lifting her hips to push against me, taking me deep. Her legs wrap around my back and she pulls me down to claim a hot, wild kiss.

"Love me, my Nico," she breathes, the words felt on my lips as much as heard in my ears. "Love me with all of you."

I cradle the back of her head and neck in my hand and push deeper until our hips bump together and our bellies touch. "Tati, my love."

She groans as I fill her, head tilting backward as the ecstasy consumes her. She levers her hips against mine, arching into me, taking me, gasping at the slick hot slide of my cock through her quivering wet sex. She pulses around me, edging toward release already. "Nico, my love—more. Harder."

"Come for me first," I say, my thrusts slow and measured.

She shakes her head. "Need it. Need you."

"Touch yourself," I tell her. "Let me watch you come while I’m inside you."

She drops her legs to the bed, as I lift up to sit tall on my knees and drape her heels over my shoulders. She gasps, eyes flying wide as I push inside her at a new angle and drive deep. "Ohhh, fuck, Nico. Yes ."

"You like it like this?" I ask.

She pinches a nipple with one hand and fingers her clit with the other, and now her hips begin to buck against mine with increasing speed, and her cries of pleasure come faster, louder, and more shrill as she ramps up toward the peak of climax.

I resist the urge to let go, to join her in release—I keep my thrusts slow and measured. She pushes against me with a loud whimper, spasming as the first waves of release smash through her—I grit my teeth and clench all my muscles to keep from coming with her. I'm not ready yet. I need more; she needs more.

"Nico, oh god—oh god," she gasps. “Oh god, I'm coming. I'm coming so hard!"

She cries out, then, fingers flying, hips grinding against me, taking me in a ravaging glut of wild thrusts. I'm on the verge of releasing against my will when she finally subsides from the peak of ecstasy, panting, whimpering.

"Nico," she breathes. "You didn't—did you come yet?"

I shake my head. "Not yet."

"But…why? I want you to."

I grin down at her. "Oh, I’m going to. But I want you like this ." I pull out of her, roughly flipping her to her belly.

She shrieks with shocked laughter at the unexpected move, playfully pretending to try to get away, crawling on all fours, giggling wildly when I wrap an arm around her thighs and yank her backward to me. Still laughing and breathlessly panting with eager need, she keeps pretending to try to get away. I hold her in place, grip my cock in my fist and push between her thighs, dragging the tip against her clit. She jerks at the sensation, still hypersensitive from having just orgasmed, laughter fading as need takes over.

She nudges me to her slit and feeds me into her pussy—we both groan in unison as I slick deep inside. "Ohhh fuck , Nico."

I roam my palms up her spine and rake my nails down her back, grasping a handful of each plump ass cheek and spreading her apart so I can push deeper. Her groan goes ragged and her upper torso sags against the mattress even as her back half stays upright.

"My god, Nico," she gasps breathlessly. “Yes. Just like this. Fuck me, Nico. Fuck me as hard as you can. I want it. I want you. I need you to fuck me until I forget who I am."

Her words are the catalyst I need, the permission required to throw off my restraint. I grip her round, beautiful ass and thrust into her slowly, exploratory, questing, testing. Her shriek of ecstasy is wild and unfeigned, and the sound of it is like jet fuel on the fire of my need.

I growl as heady, delirious need smashes through me, nearly undone by the sight of my beloved Tatiana on her hands and knees for me, perfect ass lifted high, sweet pussy taking my cock, her cries of joy loud in my ears as I pound into her.

"Harder, my Nico!" She begs. "Harder. Fuck me. Please fuck me, Nico."

God, her pleas ravage me. Undo me.

I snarl like a wolf and slam into her, the slap of her ass against my thighs a loud wet smack.

" YES !" she screams. " YES !"

I bellow, then, shouting wordlessly as my own orgasm boils in my balls, sending white heat shearing through my being as I let go, let myself take her with everything I have.

It's a mad race to climax, then, and I feel her pussy quaking and clenching, and she gasps and shrieks and screams as I slam into her without reprieve. The harder I fuck her, the louder she screams, the more unabashedly she chants my name.

I feel it hit me all at once, and I have no chance of holding this one back—I do not even try. I know she feels me let go as well because her cries go breathless and her pussy spasms around me as if my orgasm is a trigger for hers. We join with a cracking slap of flesh, and my release is a hurricane within me, my eyes clenching shut and dizziness washing through me and heat blasting and ecstasy building to a crescendo as we move together, come together.

The crashing rush of orgasm is slow to subside, and I keep thrusting into her, and she whimpers with each slow hard thrust, gasping each time I fuck deep. At long last, I'm done, and I give her one last slow thrust, and then I pull out. She gasps at the loss of me, flopping over on her back. She lurches up, grabs me by the neck, and hauls me down, cradling my head on the soft silky slope of her breasts. I both hear and feel her heart hammering in her chest, smell the musk of our sex, taste the sweat on her skin.

"Tati," I whisper, when I am once again capable of forming words. "Did I hurt you?"

Her answer is a bark of laughter, surprised and sarcastic. "Did you hurt me?"

I rest my chin on the narrow slice of skin between her breasts and gaze up at her. "I could not control myself at the end."

Her smile is loving and amused. "Nico, my sweet, darling man. I begged you to fuck me as hard as you can." She caresses my face. Feathers fingers through my hair. "You gave me exactly what I asked for—a good, hard fucking."

I let myself rest there on her chest, eyes closing at the tender bliss of her affection. "I just…I love you so much. I want to take care of you, protect you. I never want to hurt you."

Her tender touch skates through my hair, over my nape, my shoulders, my upper back, and then traces the corner of my jaw, the shell of my ear. The side of my nose. "Oh, my sweet Nico. Did it sound like you were hurting me?"

"No."

"What did it sound like?"

"Like you loved it."

"Because I did. I loved every second. I crave you, Nico. I want more of you, always." She tilts my face up and takes my mouth. "I can't get enough of you. I'm still shaky from the last two orgasms and I already want you again."

I chuckle. "I may need a moment or two to recover."

“Bo,” she teases. "I need you now ."

"Then how about…this?" I growl, and slip down her body, kissing her plump firm breasts, the soft flat field of her belly, and then finally the honey-sweet nectar of her sex.

"Oh god," she gasps. "That would be—you can—oh, fuck, yes , Nico. Please .”

I taste her, devour her. She wraps her strong thighs around my neck and pins me there, grinding against my hungry mouth as I work her clit with my lips and tongue. Her hands grasp at my hair and claw at my shoulders, and then she clutches my head in her hands, keening wildly as she reaches orgasm in seconds. I wedge a hand under her body and slip two fingers inside her, giving her something to squeeze around as she comes, and now she grinds and rides my face and fingers.

She comes fast and hard, and her cries of ecstasy bleed into overwhelmed sobs, the two blurring until I can't tell if she's sobbing or screaming or some combination of both.

I keep her coming until she goes limp, legs falling apart, and she pushes me away. "I can't, I can’t—no more. No more, Nico. I can't come anymore right now. I'll die." She pulls at my shoulders. "Hold me, baby."

I crawl up and gather her in my arms, and we breathe together.

Eventually, we both fall back asleep.

When I rouse again, I'm spooning her. Her soft slender warm body is nestled against mine, my hand cradling her breast, with her hand over mine. She stirs. Exhales softly. Wriggles, waking.

As I drift toward a more fully wakeful state, I become aware of my hard-on, which is nestled between the globes of Tatiana's ass. The erection is an ache, one that I suddenly cannot ignore now that I'm aware of it.

Tatiana, still half-asleep, turns her face to the side, touching her lips to mine. I rumble a happy, pleased, aroused groan as her soft wet lips slide against mine. She tilts her hips, rubbing against me as she becomes aware of my erection as well. Her lips fuse with mine, and I steal my hand down between her thighs and swirl a fingertip against her clit. She twitches, whimpering into my mouth. I kiss her, tasting her tongue, her lips, and feather soft, slow touches to her clit, unhurried and lazy. She starts to pant, mouth dropping open to freeze wide against mine, and she pushes the taut, plump softness of her ass against my cock.

I feel Tatiana's fingers on my hip, and then she has my hard, aching length in her fist and she's pumping me behind her back, caressing me while gasping as I circle her hard little clit.

And then I'm inside her. There's no warning—she tilts her hips and all at once I'm buried to the hilt inside her wet heat and she's pulsating around me, slick and tight. I groan and nip her lower lip, thrusting against her, pushing deeper. She flexes her hips to meet my thrust, and then she grabs my hand and moves it to her breast, and while I cup and knead and caress the tender weight of her breast, I feel her fingers moving on her clit. I plunge deep and then pull back, and she strokes my length, slick with her essence, as I pause before driving back in.

"Nico," she keens, breathless and fraught, panting my name like a prayer.

She pivots her hips to force me deeper inside her, lifting her upper thigh so she can reach between us and cup my balls as I move inside her, buried fully within her and pushing deeper, and deeper, aching to be as united with her as I can be, desperate to feel more of her. I wrap my whole being around her, clutch at the hot firm weight of her tits and press my belly to her back and my hips to her ass and thrust deeper and deeper, and she gasps my name, chanting, praying, crying, keening, calling.

She caresses my balls with one hand and swirls her clit with the other, thrusting raggedly back against me, and now her body begins to quiver and shake as her orgasm burns inside her, building and building to a frenetic crescendo of gasping shrieks and shrill breathless whimpers.

"Nico, Nico, oh god, Nico," she gasps, her head thrown back against my shoulder and her mouth seeks mine as she chants my name as a plea.

My own climax swells, and I drive into her with mounting desperation, heat and pressure shattering inside me, bursting within every synapse, every cell of my being—all of me is attuned to her every breath, every movement, every gasp, every whimper and whine, every thrust, and I know when she reaches the verge of climax. I feel it in the way her whole body tenses, in the way her panting moans become sobs, in the way her walls clamp down around my cock, in the way her whole body spasms as the waves of ecstasy shudder through her.

"Come with me, Nico," she pleads. "Now, my love. Come with me."

I roll to my back with her on top of me and pull her thighs up against her belly, spread wide open, and sink my teeth into the tense ridge of her shoulder muscle and gasp and growl as my orgasm ramps up toward release. Tatiana, still sobbing and spasming around me, sweeps both hands down to where we're joined, fingers smearing over my slick cock as I glide in and out of her, cupping and massaging my heavy, aching, swelling, pulsing balls—now with one hand, now with both, caressing my cock and my balls at the same time.

"Nico," she pants, turning her head to whisper into my mouth, "Please. Come for me. Come inside me. Fill me, my love."

Slower, now, but harder, sliding out slowly, pausing to feel her cup and caress and tease my length, and then drive into her more slowly yet, not stopping when I bottom out inside her but continuing to push deeper until she cries out—and then I withdraw again and repeat the process, drawing out the moment of orgasm.

It smashes through me all at once, ripping me apart from the inside out, white heat blasting through me from balls to brain, stars bursting behind my eyes, and I lose all control, pace and rhythm and technique abandoned as I give her what she's begging for. I come hard, crying out with a guttural shout, and push my heels into the mattress as I fuck my beloved Tatiana without restraint. She wails with ecstasy, my release triggering another for her, and now she clutches my cock with her walls until she's so tight around me it's nearly painful, and she's weeping and sobbing and wailing as I pound into her with a symphony of wet slaps and ragged shouts. I come and I come and I come, and she takes it all and when I slow, she massages my balls and caresses my cock where it's not buried inside her, teasing another spasming burst from me.

Subsiding together into stillness, we pant in unison, gasp in synch. I feel the wet warmth of my release slipping out of her, and only then realize that we'd forgotten something rather important.

"Tati," I whisper, panicking. "I'm not wearing a condom."

She twists to kiss me, cupping my balls and tenderly massaging them. "I know."

"I'm sorry, my love, I—"

She nips my lip to silence me. "I wanted it like this. I needed you. Needed to feel you bare. Nothing between us."

"But you're not…are you on birth control?"

She shakes her head, teasing my lips with hers, a smile curving her lips. "No."

"Then…" I start.

She slides up to let me slip out of her, groaning as she loses me, and then turns to kneel above me, black hair a curtain around our faces. "Then, Nicolae, my love, I will happily, eagerly, and joyfully bear your child." She flattens against me, giving me all of her weight, and her sex is wet against my belly, breasts smashed flat between us. "There is nothing that would bring me more joy than to fill our lives with a child. I know—it is madness, considering how short a time I have known you as an adult, but I know my heart, my love. You are my heart. You are my life. My future."

My eyes burn, and she kisses them softly, with exquisite tenderness. I cup her bottom and tell myself to breathe. "Tati, I—"

She cradles my face, and kisses the corner of my mouth. "I am not afraid. I am not worried. I am happy." She nibbles my lower lip. “Now. Tell me what you are feeling, Nico, my love."

"So many things. I wouldn't have thought, even two weeks ago, that I could ever…" I huff, fighting for composure. "That I could ever feel this way again. So loved, and so full of love. I would never have thought that the idea of—" My breath leaves me in a ragged rush as the words abandon me. I try again. "I was so…happy and proud to be a father, Tati." Tears flow, and I cannot stop them; she doesn't shush me or wipe them away, just rests her chin on her folded hands on my chest and gazes at me as I weep, love and acceptance and understanding written clearly on her lovely face.

"So proud," I whisper. "So happy. I didn't feel ready, but I was happy. I had everything, Tati. And then it got taken away from so fucking brutally, and I…" I swallow, shake my head. "I never thought to have that feeling again. And it scares me how much I want it."

"I want it too, Nico."

"How can you be sure? What if—what if this is just…adrenaline and danger making us feel this way?"

She sniffs a laugh, dismissing and unworried. "Do you really believe that?"

"No," I breathe, blinking hard. “No, I do not."

"Neither do I, you silly man." She wipes at my cheeks, then, smiling, tears of her own gleaming in her eyes like diamonds sparkling in the sun. "I have had boyfriends and lovers. I have lived with men. I am not a child, Nicolae. I am a woman. I know my heart. I know myself. I have even loved before—young love, foolish, infatuated love, but still a kind of love. And this , Nico…" she shakes her head.

Her gaze bores into mine, intense and demanding truth, searing away the lies and doubt and fear, leaving only the purity of what has grown between us since I opened my eyes to see her in that hangar in Zagreb, shirt torn open, fear in her eyes, tear tracks staining her cheeks.

“This, with you?” She licks her lips, shakes her head again. “It is…pure. It's wild. It's powerful. It's real , Nico. Who can say how love forms, hmm? For some, it builds over years. For some, it's like a dandelion, bursting to life faster than you'd believe, popping up seemingly overnight, and then fading to nothing, blown away by a gentle breeze. For others, it's…comforting and gentle. For Mama and Tata, it was like that. Soft, sweet, and gentle. It wasn't intense, but it was no less powerful for all that. And you and me, Nico, my love, it's…all of that." She cups my face and searches me intently. “We have lived a lifetime together in the last few days or weeks or however long it's been. I do not doubt my heart, and I do not doubt yours."

"My god, Tatiana. You are the bravest woman I've ever met. So courageous, and so fierce. The way you love me, it's like the sunlight when I have been lost in the cold shadows for so many years."

She buries her face in the side of my neck. "I guess I feel like everything I've been through in my life has been for a purpose—for this, for you. There have been so many times that I've wondered why this has to happen, why I have to go through that—growing up my father's daughter, being kidnapped, seeing people killed, I hated it. I wished so many times that…" she huffs. "I hate saying it now that he's gone, but I often wished I had a different father. One who wasn't a gangster. But now, it all makes sense. I'm not afraid. I mean, I have been afraid, but I know I can handle things. My life has made me strong. It's prepared me for this. For life with you. So I can be the woman you need."

“You are." I swallow hard, gazing at her, knowing the love I feel for her blazes in my expression.

She lets out a long, contented sigh, and then wiggles her sex against my belly, smearing wetness. "Take me to the shower," she commands, whispering the words in my ear as a hot breath. "And let me fuck you again."

"As you command, my love. And with a will."