Chapter Nine Sophie
Finally I feel whole, I don’t feel like a huge chunk of me is missing in this moment.
I feel like everything is going to be alright, that we will get through this.
I know I have a long way to go because I am still struggling with my feelings about who is to blame for this.
I know that I should blame the men that hurt and killed my mother, the men who stole my babies in daylight, the people that helped them achieve something so horrible, but my brain just won’t let me blame them or won’t let me blame only them.
I feel like I haven’t grieved my mama properly because I’ve been dealing with the fact that I was so terrified something was going to happen to Dash and Dallas.
It looks like from what Toby has told me that they just kept them in a room where they fed them and had a bathroom.
What breaks my heart is that they know something happened to mama and they know that she did what she did to protect them.
Watching daddy break down the way he did with Dallas breaks my heart.
I am glad he has her and someone who can hold him in his grief.
I know he hasn't broken down at all since this has happened, really, he’s been trying to find the twins and trying to be strong for all his kids.
Now that the twins are here and everything else is kind of calm, he has time to sit in it.
Then having that sweet girl tell him she was sorry and that she saved them made it hard for him and he finally broke.
Watching my daddy break, broke me. It was nice to just be here at the hospital for the night and sleep with my babies that have been missing, but I am ready to go home and be in my own bed and see all my kids.
I am sure that the other kids are ready to see their siblings as well.
I look up at Toby ready to tell him that I want to see if we can leave soon as Doc walks in.
“Hey, Little Lashes and Sophie! How are we doing this morning?”
“Ready to go home, do you know if all the tests came back fine?” I asked.
He looks at me and smiles, then looks at Toby and nods his head. “Everything with these little guys is good. Tests came back normal, Toby texted me and asked if I could come in and give you an ultrasound.”
I look over at Toby, “Why do you feel like I need an ultrasound?”
“It’s not that I feel you need one, baby. I just think maybe it will be something special so that Dash and Dallas can see their newest little sibling. Plus, you’ve been through a lot recently. I want to make sure that you and the baby are okay. Maybe we can even find out the sex?”
“Okay, that should be fine. But I just had an appointment, Toby, and I was fine.”
He put his hand on mine and said, “I know, baby, but please can Doc just take a look.”
I nodded my head because honestly who is going to argue with him at this point.
I’ve known him my whole life and never once have I won an argument with him.
The man is fiercely protective. Toby grabs Dash from my lap and dad grabbed Dallas and snuggled with her on his lap.
Doc came over pushing the ultrasound machine.
“Alright little mama, you know the drill. Lift your shirt up for me and lay back. We’ve got some nice warm gel here, I’ll put that on your belly and see the little angel. See if they want to cooperate and find out what you guys are having. Dash and Dallas, what do you think it's going to be?”
“BOY!”
“GIRL!”
They both yelled at the same time and you can only guess who wanted what.
They act like they don’t have any other siblings.
I know Dash would love a little brother since he already has two little sisters, Dallas she just wants to over populate our house with girls.
Toby and I both know that we don’t care what the baby is as long as it’s healthy.
“Alright, well lets see.” He pauses for a minute. “Soph? Have you had any ultrasounds so far?”
He says this and immediately I am on edge. “Is something wrong? I haven’t had an ultrasound yet, I am due for one in a couple of weeks.”
Toby reaches over and grabs one of my hands, while dad grabs the other.
“Oh jeez, no, Sophie everything looks good. It’s just there isn’t just one baby, there are two.”
“WHAT?!?! Twins?”
Toby starts chuckling and I glare at him.
Yes, I love my husband. Right now we are going through a hard patch, I would have as many babies as he wanted because somehow he always sweet talks me about how much the kids are just an outward expression of how much we love each other.
I swear the man is going to make it so we have more kids than my parents. But holy cannoli, another set of twins.
“YAY!! TWO BABIES!!” Both of my little traitors are yelling. I mean I am glad they are appearing to be doing well with what they have been through.
“Yep, twins! The Chaos family is growing by two! Let’s see if we can see what we are having, shall we.”
We all sit and watch the screen as he goes through all of the parts of the babies, probably more for the twins because they are loving it.
“Alright, so here is baby A. They appear to be a little bit bigger than the other baby, but right on track. And drum roll please….”
The twins start giving a drum roll on their legs and we all chuckle as they giggle and laugh. Like they haven’t been through anything traumatic these past four months. My babies are so brave.
“We have a boy!”
Dash starts jumping up and down on Toby’s lap and I can’t help the smile on my face.
Toby looks at me and grins and leans over and places a kiss on my forehead.
I look over at Dallas and she is pouting while dad is trying to comfort her telling her all the cool things she can do with a baby brother, but she is not having any of it.
“Alright and now for Baby B. Let’s see if they want to work with us like their brother did. Drumroll please.”
The drumrolls begin and even though Dallas is a little bummed about not having another little sister she joins in on the fun.
“We have two boys! Gonna have lots of mini Chaos brothers coming from good ol’ Lash over here.”
Toby chuckles and looks at me, “I love you so much, baby. We are going to get through all this crazy time, I promise. I am not going anywhere. You and our eight babies are my whole world.”