Chapter 31
Iwas still technically employed by Pim until New Year’s Day, but she had texted to say it was no bother if I would rather not work my notice, since I had already scheduled all her dinners and drinks until the New Year, and Alison had taken on the rest of her schedule for her New Mexico trip.
There was nothing more to do but keep her company, and she wasn’t so decrepit as to need that.
At least she said she wasn’t.
I was still happy enough to fulfil my role as assistant, even in a relaxed form.
Megan had returned – with all the gossip she could wring from me – back to Denise and Bob’s for the remainder of Christmas. And Josh, unsurprisingly, had found a tourist on Hinge in need of a sexy tour guide.
Leaving me all the time in the world to spend with Simon. For as long as I could until the New Year, and my new job. A fact I was repressing with more and more ease with every day that passed.
‘Does your phone ever stop ringing?’ Simon had asked one morning, after I had watched his show outside St Paul’s – prompting the crowd to cheer, sing along, and donate as much as I could, without seeming suspicious.
He was just packing up his belongings under the columns when my phone lit up and chorused with missed calls and messages.
‘It’s…’ I didn’t finish. Elijah had sent texts, voice notes, and countless emails, and was now trying to call me.
I groaned. ‘I don’t start for another week.
And all the travel is sorted and…’ There was no reason for him to be contacting me.
It was just too intense. ‘I think this is what it’s going to be like when I get there,’ I lamented to Simon, the fear and anxiety settling in me like a bad cocktail.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and I felt better instantly.
Kissing the top of my head, he muttered, slightly begrudgingly, ‘I think it’s time I called my dad.’
‘No.’ I don’t know what it was that made me stop him, perhaps some latent feminist pride, but the idea of my yet-to-be-classified-as-more-than-friend asking his dad to help me get a job just gave me the instant ick. ‘I have another idea.’
Pim was up, dressed and dancing when I entered her hotel room.
‘Afternoon,’ I said, elongating the word having realised it was after midday. Pim turned, startled by my sudden appearance. She was wearing a festive headpiece including two snowflakes that lit up like my jumper.
‘We match!’ I pressed the discreet button under my jumper that set the whole thing aglow. Pim rolled her eyes with a huff and removed her headpiece. Clearly, I had ruined the moment.
‘What are you doing here?’ she said, slightly frustrated by my presence.
I laughed. ‘I take my job very seriously, as you know,’ I reminded her. ‘Just because I can take the next few days off, that doesn’t mean I’m going to.’
Pim exhaled heavily and sat down on the sofa. Gerald, who was fast asleep at the other end, bounced up at the surprise disruption and jumped off, back to his three-storey dog tower in the other room.
‘Well, there’s nothing for you to do,’ she replied haughtily. ‘Alison has sorted everything for New Mexico and the show’s over.’
‘I know.’ I moved some of the newspapers containing reviews of her event – all dog-eared – onto the coffee table, so that I could sit down. ‘I could sort out some sight-seeing, though? You’ve been in London all month and barely seen any of it.’
Pim’s eyebrows rose in confusion. ‘I’ve seen plenty. I’ve been to The Ivy, The Groucho, Chiltern’s, Fortnum the moment called for it and would not be denied.
‘I don’t have much interest in London,’ Pim said, repeating my jazz-hands with dripping sarcasm as she reached towards the table for a cup of coffee I’d missed.
‘Not even the museums or the art galleries?’
Pim shrugged. ‘It’s all a load of stuff we nicked from other countries.’
‘Not all of it,’ I argued weakly. ‘There’s always the theatre?’
Pim laughed. ‘And see what? A Christmas Carol? The pantomime?’
‘There’s a new Tom Stoppard production?’ I suggested and Pim growled in revolt.
‘Never.’ She dribbled her coffee – clearly now cold – back into her cup and put it down. ‘And, besides, you’re not here to get me on a…’ She pulled a disgusted face. ‘…hop-on, hop-off bus. You’re after something. What is it?’
I did have to hand it to her, Pim could read me like a book when she was so inclined to take up reading anything other than the tabloids.
‘I actually have a question for you. Or a request, perhaps.’
Pim’s back straightened, her lips pursed, and she tilted her head to consider me for a moment.
‘That’s a phrase I’ve never heard from you before,’ she said slowly, taking a long time to process my opening line.
‘I know.’ I wished I had some water so I could wet my mouth before asking, but I had no choice, I’d opened the can of worms, now I had to spill them.
‘So my new job in Toronto, it’s… it’s not exciting me as much as I was hoping it would.
I know that that could be down to fear, and I will still be going – contractually, I’m obliged – but I’ve decided, that after my probation period, I’ll be coming back to the UK.
’ I took a breath and waited for a reaction from Pim but none came.
I felt as if I had burst a balloon, but the balloon had already been burst. There was no loud bang or surprise, from either of us. This was always meant to happen.
‘I’m not coming back with my tail between my legs asking for my old job, that door has closed, and I know that Alison is going to be great at it.
But I was wondering, hoping even, that if you knew anyone I could speak to or if you had any advice about the industry, I would love to try to find something more local.
Within the UK. I just…’ I took another breath and released a nervous laugh as all my anticipatory energy dispersed.
‘I’ve really fallen back in love with London and my life here, and I don’t want to let it go. ’
It was a simple finish, perhaps too simple. But it was honest.
Pim made no reply. Her expression remained stoic, contemplative, as if she had only understood half of what I had said, and she was translating the rest. Or she was thinking about what she was going to order for dinner from the Savoy kitchens that evening.
She inhaled deeply and moved her head back to the centre of her spine, scanning the room around her as if looking for a misplaced item.
‘I always wondered why you never just asked,’ she mumbled, sighing as she couldn’t find the item she was looking for and standing up from the sofa.
I was stunned into open-mouthed silence. Pim seemed to have got in the frequent habit of surprising me of late.
‘I – I mean, only if you can. I wouldn’t want…’ I stuttered nervously and Pim made a ‘pish’ sound as she entered her bedroom.
‘You’re always putting other people first, Evie. What do you actually want in life?’ she asked, reappearing moments later with a well-thumbed Filofax and a Savoy notepad. ‘You,’ she said. ‘No one else, you.’
‘Me?’ I was dumbstruck. ‘I suppose… I want to stay in London.’
Pim smiled. ‘Then let me make some calls.’ She retook her seat and opened her Filofax with a flourish only she was capable of. ‘I meant it at the show when I said I wouldn’t be in this industry without help,’ she said, flicking through her contacts pages. ‘Let me help you for once.’
I exhaled slowly, releasing all the tension I had unknowingly built up inside me, sinking back into the armchair, unable to resist smiling from ear to ear.
For weeks, I’d been bracing myself for polite detachment from Pim, for a clean break from my long-held role. But our relationship had changed in the last few weeks, as the detach-ment naturally began, and was cemented at her live show.
We moved from employer and assistant to something more mutual and respectful.
The sort of relationship that doesn’t need a contract.
And sitting there, watching her already halfway into problem-solving mode on my behalf, I knew I was being sent off with her legitimate best wishes and not just a store-bought leaving card (that I’d already purchased for her).
Gerald could clearly sense glee from the other room and reappeared. His tiny tuft of a tail was wagging as he bounded over to me, his leash in his mouth, as he insisted I take him outside; his beady black eyes beaming.
‘Go for a walk.’ Pim appeared suddenly irritated again. ‘I’ve got phone calls to make.’
I said nothing but stood and claimed the leash from Gerald.
‘We’ll talk when you get back.’ Pim had a mischievous look of ambition and determination fixed across her face.
‘Thank you,’ I said, but immediately her expression returned to that of revulsion.
‘Christ, don’t thank me yet! I might stick you with an absolute – Dick! How are you?’
I don’t care what she says, she planned that exchange.
In the nearby Victoria Embankment Park, I walked Gerald and retrieved my phone. Opening the TikTok app, I styled the camera above my head and began recording.
‘Happy Assistmas, everyone!’ I said into the camera cheerfully.
‘I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and isn’t too hungover?
I’m currently walking Gerald. Gerald, come here!
’ I called back the fluffy Chow Chow and he performed a little dressage trot to my side as I crouched down.
‘We’re going to get some fresh coffee in a minute and head back to the hotel for a little bit of post-Christmas planning.
’ I smiled, careful not to say too much in case Elijah was still watching my TikToks.
Given his constant emailing about the late work on the treatments, I more than suspected he was.
‘I know I haven’t posted much over Christmas but, honestly, I have been having the best time.
I’ve had amazing experiences, made incredible memories, and, best of all, I got to reconnect with the city I love best. I’m this close,’ I said, creating a tiny gap between my thumb and forefinger, ‘to buying an I Heart London T-shirt. But my dignity remains.’ I smiled at the thought of Simon and his lack of dignity in attempting to date me. ‘But barely.’
I winked at the camera and paused.
I could end it there. Keep it light, keep it vague. But as I watched Gerald sniff at the frosty grass beside me, I realised I didn’t want to.
I hit ‘Record’ again.
‘And you know what? I think I’ve changed my mind about something.
’ I adjusted the camera, so London’s skyline framed me perfectly in the background.
‘At the start of December I thought this would be my last Christmas in London. That this was a farewell tour, one final Assistmas before I moved on to whatever’s next.
But… maybe I was wrong. Maybe this isn’t the last.’
I hesitated, saying the words felt like a spark catching fire.
‘Maybe this is the first of many.’
I grinned, letting the moment breathe before ending the video. Screw Elijah, I was done making decisions based on what other people wanted.
I winked at the camera and shut it down, deciding to leave editing for later – after I saw Simon and updated him.
The thought sent a rush of warmth through me.
Before I could overthink it, I pulled out my phone again, my thumb hovering over Simon’s name in my recent calls.
I couldn’t wait; I wanted to fill him in immediately.
I pressed the green ‘Call’ button. He answered almost instantly. ‘Miss me already?’
His voice was light, teasing, but I could hear the hope underneath it.
‘Actually, yes,’ I admitted, pacing along the path. ‘And I was wondering, would you like to go on another date?’
‘Where do you want to go?’ he replied. ‘Name the place, I’ll be there.’
I bit my lip, glancing around at the city skyline peeking through the trees. I felt giddy and confident, so I went for it. ‘Your flat perhaps? New Year’s Eve is coming up – let’s have a night in.’
His answering chuckle sent a thrill down my spine. ‘You’re on. Fireworks at my place?’
Oh, there would be fireworks all right.