Chapter 33
Simon’s flat was tucked away down a quiet street in Borough, very Bridget Jones-esque of him. It wouldn’t have made sense if he was just a busker but, when I remembered his father and his upbringing, I realised that there was no way Simon was entirely strapped for cash.
‘It was my mum’s,’ he explained, turning the key in the lock before we headed up the narrow stairs to the top floor. It was the kind of flat you wouldn’t notice unless you were looking for it. It suited him, actually, unassuming but quietly distinctive.
The space smelled of coffee, his cologne, and something faintly woody, like an old guitar case.
It wasn’t exactly how I pictured it – in the few seconds I had to imagine in the time it took for him to open the door – it was tidy but not overly polished, with instruments propped up in corners and hanging from bike hooks on the walls, and sheet music spread out on a small desk by the window.
The walls were plain, save for the instruments and a few framed records with silver signatures under the glass. Above the kitchen, a mezzanine led to his bedroom, the metal staircase swirling. It was a studio, or a bed-sit if you were feeling unkind, cramped but still homely.
‘Do you want a drink?’ he offered, already heading towards the small fridge, whipping dirty laundry from the end of the leather sofa and shoving it into some unsuspecting cupboard, where it no doubt did not belong.
‘You don’t have to tidy up for me,’ I laughed, throwing myself onto the lumpy sofa cushions. ‘I want to see the place as you live in it, not as in a Rightmove advert.’
He giggled, slightly nervously. ‘It’s definitely a bachelor pad.’
‘Nothing wrong with that,’ I said, leaning my chin on the sofa to watch him and breathing in the heady smell of his cologne. It was potent. At least I didn’t have to open the window to relieve myself of a bachelor musk; his home smelled like him and it was glorious.
For a few seconds he just stared at me, saying nothing. A small smirk at the corner of his lips.
‘What?’ I asked, lifting my head and poking my face as if I had something on my cheek.
‘Nothing.’ He turned away, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of water. ‘So tell me. What’s next for you?’
I frowned. ‘In what way? I have the new job now, so I suppose the next thing is sorting out Salient.’
‘And what do you need to do there?’ He jumped over the sofa, swinging his legs around as if he often did that – when I could tell by his slightly pained expression that he didn’t – before pulling my legs over his.
‘You’re a child!’ I laughed loudly, surprised, but not appalled by his George-of-the-Jungle behaviour.
It was his flat, after all, he could be himself in it.
Even if this version of himself was clearly nervous and boyish.
I rested my hand atop his, feeling the condensation of the water bottle soaking into my trouser leg.
His fingers were still warm as I wrapped my own around them.
‘I still need to go to Canada.’ He groaned.
‘For a short time,’ I pressed on. ‘Just to work out my probation so I’m not in breach of contract.
The house was only a rental anyway, so it’s not like I’ve got to unwind a load of activity.
I just need to tide them over until they can re-hire – which I doubt will take three months. ’
‘Really?’ He didn’t seem convinced. ‘Aren’t creative industries usually the worst at hiring people?’
I shrugged. It wasn’t my problem if that was the case. ‘Probation periods are as much for the employee as for the employer. If I don’t want to take the job – which I don’t – they’ll have no choice but to get a move on.’
He smirked again. ‘You’re ruthless, you know that?’
‘I’m entrepreneurial and determined,’ I countered playfully. ‘And, for once, I’m doing precisely what I want to do.’
‘With a few months in Canada before you can actually start it, though.’
It was my turn to groan now, and I instinctively pulled myself closer to him so my head was resting on his shoulder and his arm came up around me. God, it was so easy with him.
‘How have I only known you for a month?’ I pointed out, which set us both off.
He shrugged, lifting my head up with the move-ment so I was merely inches from his shaded stubble. ‘Is this too early in the dating game to say when you know, you know?’
My stomach did a flip. ‘If that’s a reference to a Taylor Swift lyric, then never.’ I kissed him promptly, and his grasp around my back tightened even more.
‘But seriously? Too soon?’
He gave me the space to consider it for a moment, but I didn’t need to.
I always imagined love being a bit like a golden orb that sits squarely in your chest and burns brightly inside you, energising you and keeping you warm. It felt like that now.
‘I think it’s the right time for us,’ I whispered. ‘Though if you had asked me six weeks ago, I would have said definitely not.’
His shoulder lowered and I felt his fingers finding the edge of my shirt and lifting it again, his fingers drawing patterns against the soft skin of my lower back.
‘You romantic,’ he teased. ‘What changed then?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re a different person from the girl I met in Covent Garden a month ago.’
I laughed. ‘You mean the girl who bowled you over and insulted you.’
‘You did not bowl me over,’ he corrected. ‘But yes. You’re so much more relaxed now.’
It didn’t hurt that he was a calming presence for me, with his soft touch and ease.
‘I think it’s because I’ve finally found a home.
’ I clamped my hand over his lips and quickly added, ‘Yes, I know I’m cheesy as hell but just bear with me.
’ I could see his eyes twinkling, wanting to laugh but waiting for me to say my piece.
‘I mean I never realised I had a home. I’ve spent so much of my life waiting for the next thing, moving from one city to another, always ready to pack up and go.
But when I thought about leaving London – actually leaving, never to return in any kind of permanence – I realised how much I would miss it. ’
I released his head and he tilted it. ‘London at Christmas will do that to a person.’
‘Not just London at Christmas though, London all year round,’ I admitted.
‘I finally know I can stay,’ I continued.
‘That I want to stay. Denise and Bob have my back, Megan and I can be there for each other, and, for the first time, I don’t feel like I have to accept that I belong somewhere. I can just… be.’
Simon nodded and opened his bottle of water to take a slow sip of his drink, considering me. ‘And me?’ he asked eventually.
I gave him a look that was both cheeky and sincere. ‘I’m not staying just because of you. I’ve already told you that.’
‘But I am a pretty big bonus,’ he joked.
I laughed, shaking my head and pressing myself up against his chest so I was almost straddling him on the sofa. ‘You are so fishing for a compliment.’
‘It’s part of my charm.’ He grinned, pulling my leg further over so I was straddling him.
This was a first for me, but it felt good.
‘Go on. Admit it,’ he whispered, leaning upwards so we were both sitting upright, him with his hands now running up and down my thigh while I wrapped my hand around his neck and felt the contours at the meeting of his broad shoulders.
I rolled my eyes, but my heart was hammering now, that teasing glint in his eyes making my breath catch. ‘Fine. You’re a very big bonus.’
‘That’s what she said,’ he murmured into my ear cheekily and I couldn’t help but release a giggle as suddenly he stood, holding me up with his hands under my legs. God, he was strong. Now that was a big bonus.
The air between us prickled with energy as I tried to stop giggling. He was staring at me, rolling his lips occasionally, breathing hard as he began to lower me back down onto the sofa, him now on top of me.
‘Is this okay?’ he whispered, and I nodded slowly, my breath catching as all the noise of outside London seemed to fade and all I could hear was his breathing and mine.
My arms and legs felt suddenly leaden, as if I didn’t know what their purpose was but, inside me, I knew precisely what I wanted to do.
‘Stay tonight?’ he asked softly, travelling down my body just a few inches to kiss my stomach as my shirt crept up again. I gasped.
‘I wasn’t planning on leaving.’
I felt his lips quirk slightly against my chest as they travelled, his fingers now primed at the fraying edges of my shirt, as I arched my back instinctively.
It wasn’t long before his lips returned to my neck, kissing me unhurriedly, deliberately. Neither of us wanted to rush it.
His hands slid up my waist, pulling me closer as he found my lips.
My fingers threaded into his hair, tugging lightly, and he let out the quietest sound, half a sigh, half a groan, that sent heat curling through me.
His fingers skimmed the line of my jaw and wrapped around my neck lightly. ‘You sure about this?’ he murmured against my skin.
It was like an electric current soared through me. ‘For the love of…’ I didn’t know I would react like I did until I did.
I pushed him up and grabbed at his shirt, kissing him heatedly and without aim. I wanted him. And I was done with working to other people’s timelines.
Screw being patient! This wasn’t rushing, this was a hunger. And it was insatiable.
He reacted the same, suddenly desperate for more, as if the green light had gone up after an age of amber.
‘Where’s… the… bedroom?’ I asked messily as he pulled the shirt up and over his head with ease. To be a man without having to care about all the other layers.
His chest made me pause for a heartbeat.
I ran my fingers along his collarbone and down to the fine line of hair across his abs – I was right, they were defined – feeling him shiver in response as he leaned forward to kiss my neck again and I moaned, returning to myself and my need.
‘Up the stairs,’ he said into my ear. ‘I’ll race you.’
‘No!’
We were like overgrown children, suddenly running and guffawing. Both of us charged and playful.
My legs were so heavy I didn’t think I’d ever be able to make it up to the top but, with surprising speed, we landed on his bed up in the mezzanine and quickly fell about on the sheets, wasting no time in removing any additional layers between us.
In what felt like no time his body was suddenly covering mine, his hands reverent as they traced the curve of my spine and as I felt every inch of him.
His lips found mine again, like magnets, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about what came next.
I was exactly where I wanted to be.