Chapter Ten
“What time are you going to be heading off?” Nathan asked when he joined Jessica for breakfast the next morning. He’d already been out for a run and was fresh out of the shower. He smelled delicious.
“Mum and Dad are due mid-afternoon; I want to be there to meet them. I also thought I might go to the supermarket and pick up some food for them, so I’ll probably need to head off after lunch.”
“I’ve got nothing on, other than pining for you and Monty from after lunchtime onwards,” Nathan said. “What if I drive you to the supermarket? I could do with doing a shop for me as well, and I can help you push the trolley around.”
“That sounds nice.” Jessica was so grateful to have a little more time with Nathan.
This last act of domesticity in the form of going to the supermarket together seemed to make the thought of leaving Nathan’s home worse somehow. Jessica knew she wouldn’t have any chance to be lonely while she was at her parents’ house, but she would definitely miss Nathan and the easy camaraderie the pair of them shared. When she was with him, it always felt like there was someone on her side.
Jessica debated cooking for her parents to welcome them home, but, frankly, it was bound to go wrong, so she picked up a ready-made paella which just needed to be popped in the oven for half an hour. She also got a bunch of roses, her mum’s favourite flower, to welcome them home, as well as basics like eggs, milk and bread.
They were loading up the boot of the Land Rover with all the shopping when Jessica heard her name being called. Turning, she saw Diana coming across the car park.
“Hi, Jessica,” Diana said when she reached her. “I’m glad I caught you. I forgot to get your phone number yesterday after class.”
“Oh, right, I’ll pop it in your phone if you like.” Diana handed Jessica her phone and Jessica tapped her number in.
“You must be the young man who’s been looking after Jessica,” Diana said, looking Nathan up and down. Jessica smiled, noticing the way her ballet teacher analysed everyone’s physique out of habit, just like she did herself.
“I am,” he said, shaking Diana’s hand. “Not that she’s been a very good patient.”
“I don’t think any injured ballet dancer makes a good patient,” Diana said, laughing.
“Well, at least I know it’s not just Jess, then,” Nathan said with a grin.
“Jessica, while I’ve got you here,” Diana said, “it was so helpful to have you as an extra pair of eyes yesterday, and the children seemed to like you very much. I was wondering if you could help me with another class, at five tomorrow evening? Only if your foot can handle it, of course.”
“Um, yes, sure. That would be fun.” It was nice to feel wanted for something dance-related and Jessica knew it was important she kept busy.
“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” said Diana.
“For sure.” Jessica waved goodbye as Diana continued into the supermarket.
“That sounds cool,” Nathan said once Diana was out of earshot.
“Yeah, I enjoyed it yesterday. And I definitely think I need to be filling my time up while I can’t dance.”
“That’s a lot of time to fill up.”
“I know. It turns out I didn’t really do very much apart from dance.”
Nathan was silent.
“Are you OK?” Jessica asked. She’d expected him to make a kind comment like he usually did. Something along the lines of he was sure she had plenty of other things in her life, or that she’d had to spend so much time dancing so that she could be the best ballerina she could possibly be.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, quickly. “Let’s get this food home before my ice cream melts.”
* * *
Jessica’s mum and dad were thrilled to find her waiting for them when they got home, although Jessica suspected that her dad was almost as pleased to be reunited with Monty, who he took out for a little walk within five minutes of arriving back. As sweet as Monty was, she breathed a sigh of relief that she was no longer in charge of him.
“How’s your foot feeling? Is it very painful?” Sarah fussed. “You haven’t been overdoing it, have you?”
“Don’t worry, Mum. I’ve been really careful. It’s not too sore, but it does ache more if I don’t rest it regularly. And Nathan looked after me really well.”
“Oh, yes. You and Nathan. What’s going on there? He’s very handsome.”
“Yes, he is,” admitted Jessica. There was no point in denying that; it was a fact. “But there’s nothing going on between us, we’re just friends.”
Sarah’s face showed that she wasn’t convinced, but she said, “If you say so.”
* * *
“Everyone’s coming round for supper tonight at about six,” Sarah told Jessica the next morning.
“Oh, great. I’m helping Madame Penny with a dance class, but I’ll be home by about quarter past.”
“Lovely. Would you like to invite Nathan?”
“Nathan?” Jessica asked, surprised.
“Yes, Nathan. The man who looked after you while we were away, remember. I’d like the chance to thank him.”
“OK, I’ll see if he’s free.”
Jessica didn’t know how she felt about Nathan coming to her parents’ house. Would it be strange for those two parts of her life to collide? Her mum would definitely be watching how she and Nathan were together. Well, she’d said she’d invite him, so she would. Maybe he wouldn’t be free.
She typed: Hi. My mum’s asking if you’d like to come for supper tonight. The whole family’s going to be here. Don’t worry if you’d rather not.
She read back over it. It didn’t sound very friendly. But she didn’t want him to feel obliged to come. Despite what he said about enjoying having her stay, he might be loving having his house back and being by himself. Or he might simply rather not spend an evening with her whole family. She sent it before she could overthink it anymore.
Almost immediately three dots appeared under the message as Nathan began replying. Then they disappeared. A moment later he started typing again, but once more stopped. Finally, after a third lot of dots, his message came through. Sure, what time?
I’m doing that dance class at 5. Meet me outside the studio just after 6 and we can walk to my mum and dad’s house together?
Great. What should I bring?
Just yourself.
My mother always taught me to never go to dinner empty-handed.
You’re always so polite. My mum and dad love chocolate.
OK. See you later. x
A kiss at the end of the message. Jessica smiled and decided not to overthink it.
* * *
The children attending this class were a little older, so there was more for Jessica to correct and note, which made helping out even more interesting. There were a couple of girls in the group who looked like they could be quite promising.
“That was brilliant,” she said to Diana when all the children had left. “It’s still hard to tell if any of them have real talent, but they seem to really love the class, and it was brilliant when Flora made that jump.”
“It was. She was so proud of herself,” Diana said. “You have a real talent for helping them. You’re very observant, and I like the way you always comment when you see an improvement.”
“Thank you. I’ve done some teaching before, during the months when my company’s closed down for the summer, but because it was a summer school, the kids were never properly invested in the ballet. It was just another activity on offer for them to try, and because I didn’t get to work with the same children for long, I never got to see them progress.”
“It’s a pity you won’t be able to follow any of these children’s progress either. Some of them have already made such strides since they started. When are you flying back?”
“Wednesday night.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know,” Jessica said honestly. “I thought I’d be really pleased to get back, but I’ve hardly spent any time with my family with them being away.”
“Could you stay for longer? I’d love to have you around to help me with more classes. But I insist upon paying you.”
“Oh, thank you. That’s a very kind offer. The extra money would be handy. Can I get back to you tomorrow?” answered Jessica. She hadn’t for one moment expected her old dance teacher to want her at classes more regularly, had really thought she was just taking pity on her while she was in town. She was definitely tempted.
“Of course,” Diana said, patting Jessica on her arm.
It was fair to say that Jessica had considered changing her flight for many reasons. She pushed the six-foot-two one out of her head... But what would she do with herself for longer in Bowerbridge? And she had a life to return to. But how much of that life was actually worth returning to when she wasn’t able to dance? Getting up and down all the steps to her apartment would be a nightmare, even without trying to carry groceries up them. She knew her ballet colleagues would help if she asked, especially Bethany, but she didn’t want them to see her like this. And her apartment would be fine without her for a while longer, she supposed.
If she stayed, she could spend some more time with her family and earn a bit of extra money while doing something useful with her time and seeing if teaching really was for her. Plus, there was Nathan...
* * *
“Hey, you,” said Nathan when Jessica came out of the studio, a smile breaking over his face. He was leaning against a wall enjoying the early evening sunshine.
“Hi.” Jessica smiled back. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Are your family really that terrible?”
“No, but my brother and his wife will be bringing their kids...”
“I like kids,” Nathan said simply, with a shrug.
“Just don’t say you weren’t warned.” They started walking. “How was your day?”
“It was good. Not too busy. How was yours?”
“It was nice. I hung out with Mum for the day. We went out for lunch and watched a film together this afternoon. I can’t remember the last time I did something like that with her. Did you miss me and Monty last night?”
“Naturally. It wasn’t the same playing Fable II without you.”
“You played Fable II without me!” Jessica cried indignantly, ready to turn the full force of her wrath onto Nathan.
Nathan laughed. “Of course not, I’m just winding you up.”
“Idiot,” muttered Jessica.
They reached Jessica’s parents’ house. Jessica glanced at Nathan and thought he looked a little nervous. She gave his hand a squeeze.
Everyone was gathered in the kitchen and turned as one when Jessica and Nathan came in. They were greeted first by Monty, who acted like he hadn’t seen Nathan for years, running in circles around him and bringing him every toy he owned.
“Everyone, this is Nathan,” Jessica said. “Nathan, everyone.”
A chorus of hellos rang out.
“I remember teaching you,” Sarah said, coming over to welcome their guest.
“You were my favourite teacher, Mrs Stone,” Nathan said.
Jessica audibly groaned. “You can dial down the charm, Nathan. She already likes you because you looked after me.”
“I’m naturally charming,” insisted Nathan. “I can’t help it.”
Sarah laughed. “And you know my husband and my son, Andrew.”
“Of course,” Nathan said. “Andrew once let me be goalkeeper for him and his friends during break time when I must have been about Year 3 and they were Year 5. It was the single greatest moment of my childhood.”
“I imagine it must have been,” said Andrew. “My friends and I all thought we were the coolest. Every one of us was going to end up playing for Man United. This is my wife, Molly, and our munchkins, Peter, Emily and Sophie.”
Nathan smiled at Molly and then spoke to the children. “Do you like football like your dad?”
“Yeah,” said all three at once.
“Do you want to see me do kick-ups?” asked Peter.
“Sure,” Nathan said, prompting Peter to rush off with the cry, “I’ll get my ball!”
“Not in the house,” said Molly, quickly.
“Come out into the garden,” said Sophie, pulling Nathan towards the back door.
“Is that all right?” Nathan asked around.
“Sure, if you don’t mind,” said Joe, busy preparing a salad.
Nathan was dragged outside by the children.
“He’s certainly very popular,” said Sarah pointedly to her daughter. Jessica felt her cheeks flush. “You sit down, and rest that foot.”
Jessica pulled out one of the kitchen chairs from under the table and settled herself on it. Her brother sat down next to her.
“Hey, sis.” Andrew gave her a hug. “Sorry to hear about your foot.”
“Yeah,” said Molly. “Do you know when the plaster can come off?”
“Another four and a half weeks,” Jessica said with a sigh. “Tell me all about your holiday,” she added, hoping to turn the conversation away from her injury.
“It was really nice,” Molly said, leaning against a worktop. “I think we managed to visit every tourist attraction within a thirty-mile radius of where we were staying. The kids were exhausted when we got back. They were not impressed at having to get up early this morning to go to holiday club so that Andrew and I could get back to work.”
“How’s the accountancy firm?” asked Jessica.
“Good. We actually took on another accountant a couple of months ago.”
“That’s brilliant.”
Jessica chatted with her family for a few minutes and then thought she ought to go and check how Nathan was doing with the children.
When she went outside, she could immediately tell he was having a good time. A very intense game of two-a-side football was going on — Nathan and little Sophie, against Peter and Emily.
She smiled watching Nathan play with the children. He obviously really did love kids. Sensing someone was watching him, Nathan looked up and smiled at Jessica. “Pay attention,” said Sophie sternly.
“You sound just like your auntie when you speak to me like that!” said Nathan, laughing.
* * *
Supper was a relaxed affair. Joe had cooked a load of chicken drumsticks and sausages on the barbecue, and there was a rice salad, a green salad, boiled potatoes, and bread. The table practically groaned under the weight of the food.
The kitchen table wasn’t big enough for nine, so a large fold-up table had been set up in the garden for them all.
“It’s so lovely to have everyone here all together,” said Sarah, as they took their places with full plates of food.
Jessica looked around at her family. Her dad gave her mum a kiss. Andrew was helping Sophie cut up her food while Molly refereed between Peter and Emily who were trying to see which of them would be brave enough to eat an olive. Finally, her gaze fell on Nathan, and their eyes met. He was so lovely and kind playing with her nieces and nephew. He gave her a wink and turned to answer a question her dad had asked him. She needed more of this in her life, she realised. More time with people she loved and who loved her and genuinely cared about her because of who she was, not because of how well she could dance. How could she have been so blasé about seeing her family? Yes, there had certainly been plenty of times when she’d needed to work and couldn’t fly over to visit, but there had also been occasions when she could have made more of an effort. And maybe it would have done her good to have stepped out of her little ballet bubble once in a while. But at least she was here now, she told herself, properly appreciating what she had.
“Everyone,” she said to get people’s attention, “I have something to ask.”
Everybody stopped talking. “Madame Penny says she’d like me to help out more with her classes, as a paid assistant, so I was wondering if it would be all right for me to stay for a bit longer. At least until my cast is off.”
“Of course it is!” Sarah said, not even attempting to hide how delighted she was.
“Does that mean I can go to dance class with you?” asked Emily.
“If that’s all right with your mum and dad,” said Jessica.
“I’m sure we can sort that out,” Molly said with a smile, prompting an excited squeal from Emily.
“This is excellent news!” exclaimed Joe. “I’m going to get some bubbles out of the fridge to celebrate with!”
Finally, Jessica dared to turn to see Nathan’s reaction. He nodded and gave her a little smile which didn’t seem to meet his eyes, and then turned away to say something to Peter. What was going on? Nathan said he liked spending time with her. Why wouldn’t he be happy about her staying for longer?
* * *
There was time for a bit more of a kick around in the garden before Andrew and his family needed to head home to get the children to bed. There was no opportunity for Jessica to get Nathan alone and talk to him, but she was determined to before the evening was over.
Jessica went to the front door to say goodbye to her nieces and nephew.
“Can I really come to ballet with you, Aunt Jessica?” asked Emily as she gave Jessica a hug goodbye.
“Yes, of course. The class for you and Sophie is on Saturday morning at ten o’clock if you’d like to come.”
“I want to come!” piped up Sophie. “I can already do twirls,” she added, demonstrating her talent and nearly sending her older sister flying.
“That’s brilliant,” Jessica said. “I can pick them up and drop them back home if you like?” she said to Molly.
“Would you be happy with that, girls?” Molly asked.
“Yes!” the girls chorused.
“There’s a class for older kids that you could try out if you like, Peter,” Jessica offered.
The panic on her nephew’s face immediately told Jessica that ballet really wasn’t his thing.
“It’s OK if you’d rather not,” she said quickly.
Relief washed over him and he said, “I think I prefer football to dancing.”
“That’s cool. I’m sorry I can’t play football with you at the moment, but maybe I could take you all to the cinema soon?”
“Can we go and see the new Sonic film?” Peter asked. “It looks awesome.”
“Sure. Would you like to see that one too, girls?”
“Yes, please,” said Emily. Sophie nodded.
“Great. I’ll sort that out with your parents then.”
Jessica went back into the kitchen where her mum was clearing up.
“Can I give you a hand with that?” she asked.
“Not if it will hurt your foot,” Sarah said firmly.
“I can load the dishwasher if you pile the dirty stuff on the side for me,” Jessica suggested.
“All right, thank you, but stop if it’s making your foot ache.”
“I will, I promise. Are Dad and Nathan still outside?”
“Yeah, they’re getting along well. Nathan was saying that he took you canoeing on Saturday, and your dad wanted to show him that old paddle that he’s had for years in the shed.”
“I remember that thing. Didn’t we use it with an inflatable dinghy once?”
“Yes, in the pond near your grandma’s house,” Sarah said, laughing.
They continued working in silence until the dishwasher was on and anything that wouldn’t fit in it was stacked up on the side.
“Nathan’s lovely,” Sarah said, filling up the kettle.
“He is,” agreed Jessica.
“I’m guessing he’s single as you were staying with him.”
“Yes. He’s just divorced, actually.”
“Oh no, what a shame.” Jessica couldn’t help noticing that her mother didn’t look like it was much of a shame that Nathan was back on the market. “Do you know what happened?”
“No, only that that’s why he moved back here.”
Joe walked in from the garden followed by Nathan.
“Oh, you needn’t have done that, love,” Joe said, putting his arm around his wife. “I would have helped.”
“Jessica gave me a hand so it was no trouble. Would you like a tea or coffee, Nathan?”
“No, thank you,” he said. “I’d better be getting home. I’ve left my dog by himself.”
“Oh, you should have brought him with you!” Joe declared. “Does he get on well with Monty?”
“Yes, they’re great friends.”
“We’ll have to get them together for some walks,” Joe said.
“Dennis would like that. Thank you. And thank you for a lovely evening.”
“It was our pleasure,” said Sarah.
“I’ll come out with you,” Jessica said. There was no way he was getting away without talking to her.
She waited until they were outside the front door. She pulled it closed behind them so they were definitely out of her parents’ earshot before she said, “You didn’t seem very happy about me staying for longer.”
“What? Of course I am. I’ve been worrying about you going back to your apartment and struggling with the stairs...”
Jessica glared at him. “I saw your face when I made my announcement.”
Nathan sighed. “I was surprised.”
“I thought it would be a good surprise,” Jessica said quietly. She was trying not to get upset, but she really couldn’t understand Nathan’s reaction. She’d been so excited when she’d made her decision; why wouldn’t he want her to hang around?
“It was,” he said. “A good surprise. It’s just... I’d prepared myself for you leaving.”
“And you’re sorry I’m not?”
“No! Not at all. Jess.” He reached out to hold her hand. Jessica didn’t remove hers and tried to ignore her body’s reaction to it as goosebumps travelled up her arm. “I don’t imagine I’ve been able to hide how much I like you. I think you’re amazing, and it’s been so great having you here. But I think I was able to hold it together around you because I knew you were only going to be here for a short amount of time. And now you’re going to stay for longer... let’s just say I think I’m going to struggle.” He gave her an embarrassed smile.
“Oh.” Jessica swallowed hard. She had really not expected that.
“Sorry if I’ve made things awkward . . .”
“No, you haven’t,” she said quickly. “Thank you for telling me. I think you’re pretty amazing too, you know, and if it wasn’t for... well a lot of stuff...”
“A whole lot of stuff . . .”
“Yeah . . . If you’d rather we didn’t . . . hang out . . .”
“No, I want to... hang out with you,” he said, his eyes meeting hers, making her smile.
“Good.”
“I’m sorry I was weird.”
“That’s OK, I get it,” said Jessica. She gave him as good a hug as she could manage with crutches.
“ Fable night soon?”
“I’m free tomorrow.”
“See you around six then?”
“Perfect,” Jessica said. She kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you then.”
Jessica watched Nathan walk down the street. Would it be more sensible for them to stay apart? Maybe, but she really didn’t want to. She loved spending time with Nathan, and yes, she had a crush on him, but that would pass. It would be stupid to give up their friendship just because every time she looked at his mouth she wasn’t able to prevent herself from thinking about what it would be like to kiss it again.
* * *
Jessica was nervous as she stood outside Nathan’s house the following evening. Her muscles ached as she lifted her arm to ring the doorbell. She was pleased. She’d worked out a lot today as well as taking care of all the admin involved with her staying for longer, and it was good that her body was feeling it. It was nice to be physically tired from exercise again, even if she couldn’t do everything she’d like to.
Nathan opened the door. “I forgot you’d need to ring the bell now,” he said. “Come on in.” He stepped aside to let Jessica pass.
Dennis stood by his master, his tail wagging crazily.
“Hello, boy.” Jessica gave him a pat. “Have you missed me?”
“You and Monty,” said Nathan. “He’s been by himself all day.”
“Poor little guy.” Jessica followed Nathan into the kitchen. “Maybe I could pop in to see him sometimes while I’m still here? Keep him company for an hour or so.”
“He’d love that.”
“It’s a shame I couldn’t bring Monty to visit, but I couldn’t manage to get him here on my crutches.”
“No, that would be a recipe for disaster,” Nathan agreed. “You will stay for dinner, won’t you?”
“Yes, please. Do I have to help cook, though?”
“It’ll get it done faster.”
“Hand me a chopping board.”
* * *
They sat down to home-made chilli con carne and fluffy white rice an hour later.
“This is so good,” Jessica said, putting another forkful into her mouth.
“I’m not sure I should have let you be in charge of adding the chilli powder,” Nathan said before gulping down more water. Jessica watched his lips parting as the glass met them again, and his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. A shiver of desire passed through her.
“When are you next helping out at the dance studio?” Nathan asked, bringing her attention back to the conversation.
“Tomorrow. It’s the older students so it should be really interesting. Diana also wants to go over some of the lesson plans with me so that I know what each student is aiming towards.”
“It’s great that she’s paying you.”
“I know. That money combined with the insurance payout from my company will mean that this month is probably the most I’ve ever earned as a dancer.”
“I take it dancers don’t get paid very well?”
“It’s not terrible,” said Jessica. “And I would have got a raise when I started rehearsals for The Sleeping Beauty because of moving up to being a principal dancer, but people certainly don’t go into it for the money.”
“I guess you really have to love it to want to do it for a career.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
Nathan looked down at his plate and was silent for a moment before he said, “You’ll need to at some point, though.”
“You mean in case my foot doesn’t heal properly?” Jessica wished Nathan wasn’t bringing up her injury now. They’d been having such a nice evening.
“Yes, and also because of your age,” Nathan said carefully.
“What about my age?” Jessica put her fork down.
Nathan looked like he wished he could be transported as far away as possible. “Forget I said anything. It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m guessing that you mean that because I’m thirty-one, I’ll soon be over the hill?”
“I wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but you must know you’re reaching the end of your ballet career. I looked it up and most dancers end their careers around age thirty-five.”
“And some continue for a lot longer,” Jessica said coldly. She took a sip of her drink and took a deep breath. “Do you like being a doctor?”
“I love being a doctor, most of the time,” replied Nathan.
“Did you ever think you might become something else?”
“Sure, I wanted to be a firefighter for a while when I was small, and then an astronaut.”
“You see,” explained Jessica, “I’ve only ever wanted to be a dancer. The only thing I can remember ever having any interest in being was a ballerina. There simply wasn’t an option for me to be anything else. Ballet is so much a part of me. I don’t know what I’d be without ballet.”
“Can I be honest with you?” asked Nathan.
“Of course,” Jessica said automatically, although she really wasn’t sure she was going to like what he had to say.
“I think your foot is going to be completely fine in just a few weeks. You’ll need to be careful for a while and build the strength back up in it gradually, but there’s no reason why you can’t dance again professionally.”
Jessica gave him a small smile of thanks.
“However,” he continued gently, “you know as well as I do that you won’t be able to dance professionally for ever. Every ballet dancer’s career has a shelf life. You need to be planning ahead and thinking about what you’re going to do when your dancing career comes to an end.”
“I’ve got plenty of time to think about that. I’ve got years of dancing ahead of me!” retorted Jessica, seeing red. “I’d only just been made a principal ballerina before my foot was injured. I’m at the top of my career.”
“Yes, but at some point the descent begins, and if the past couple of weeks has taught you anything it should be that that descent could happen at any time. You need to have a backup plan.”
Jessica’s stomach dropped and she felt sick as all the insecurities and worries she’d carried around for so long flashed into her mind en masse.
“Backup plans just divide your attention and shorten your career faster. You have to give it everything. But I don’t know why I’m explaining myself! I really don’t think it’s your place to tell me what to do with my life!” she said, an edge to her voice as she struggled to control her temper. She failed. “It’s none of your business whether I have a plan for when I retire from ballet, however many years in the future that might be. It’s not like you’re doing such a great job with your own life. You’re divorced and living in a house that’s like a show home, throwing out life advice like you’re some kind of expert! Maybe if you had more of a life yourself, you wouldn’t feel such a need to interfere in everyone else’s. No wonder your wife left you. She probably had passion and drive for something you didn’t approve of and got fed up with you trying to stamp it out of her!”
Jessica regretted her words as soon as they were out of her mouth. The look on Nathan’s face made her say immediately, “Nathan...”
“I think it would be best if you left,” he said quietly.
“I think so too. I can see myself out.” Jessica picked up her crutches and her bag and walked out of the house without looking back.