Chapter 21 #2
Valeria laughs. “No, I guess I’m not. Haven’t made it twenty-four hours, and I already want to speed up the timeline and have you all to myself.”
“Well, if you don’t keep us in check, then who will?” Camila says, before kissing Valeria’s hand and looking at her through her eyelashes.
Valeria runs her hand through Camila’s hair. “Maybe having a sleepover wasn’t my best idea.”
“We’re still in your parking lot. I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you decide to stay, I’ll understand. If you decide to come, I promise to be on my best behavior,” Camila says, placing her hand on the smooth, bare skin of Valeria’s thigh, her thumb circling slowly.
A shiver runs through Valeria. Then, a gasp escapes her, a small, surprised sound. Camila’s eyes snap down to where her hand rests, her cheeks flushing crimson. She quickly pulls her hand away as if it burned, and fidgets with her seatbelt.
“Starting now,” she says, biting her lip.
Valeria knows she should probably stay home, keep herself from temptation, but honestly, common sense left her body hours ago.
“We can do this,” Valeria declares, trying to convince herself as much as she is Camila, who now can’t stop staring at the spot that burns with need on Valeria’s skin.
“Yeah,” Camila says, snapping herself out of it. “We absolutely can.”
Back at Camila’s house, Valeria quickly realizes they cannot. When they got to Camila’s, they changed into their pajamas, and that’s when everything got harder.
“Why would you do that to me?” Camila asks, her eyes wide as they trace down Valeria’s body.
She’s wearing a satin button-down shirt and matching shorts—which, okay, Valeria did pick out with Camila in mind. She could have grabbed sweats and a T-shirt, but she wanted to look cute for her. She didn’t choose it with any ulterior motive—at least, not consciously.
Valeria’s cheeks heat up, suddenly aware of how the soft fabric clings to her.
Camila bites her lip, tilting her head slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You’re really testing my self-restraint,” she growls, voice low.
But Camila isn’t the only one being tested.
Camila is wearing a pair of black sweats and a cropped band T-shirt that cuts off mid-abdomen, and it’s undoing Valeria piece by piece.
The bare strip of skin is already more than enough to hold her attention, her gaze locked there, waiting—hoping—for any movement that might make the fabric inch higher, reveal a little more of Camila.
Even when it doesn’t, every shift, every breath, every careless stretch, sets her on fire with the possibility.
At some point in the night, they both stop pretending to be paying attention to the show they put on, and just stare at each other, waiting for any new patch of skin to be revealed.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Camila says, the words coming out strained, almost breathless, as she abruptly stands and disappears into her bedroom.
Valeria barely has time to wonder what she means before Camila’s back, arms full of an oversized throw blanket.
“Stand up, please,” she says. Valeria does.
Camila steps closer and wraps Valeria up.
She turns her gently, tucking her in until Valeria is completely cocooned, immobilized, and warm.
Camila pulls her in against her chest, holding her there.
Valeria’s breath catches. Camila’s arms are solid around her, her heartbeat pressed right against Valeria’s chest, matching her own, fast and uneven.
“Much better,” Camila says with a warm smile, helping Valeria to her seat on the couch before leaning in to kiss her cheek, but she leans in a little too far right, and her lips graze the corner of Valeria’s mouth instead.
Valeria freezes.
Her heart slams so violently that she knows Camila must hear it pounding in her ears. For a moment, neither of them moves. Camila is so close that Valeria can feel the heat of her breath. The citrus-sweet smell of her shampoo plays with her senses.
They’re inches apart, suspended in a moment. Valeria thinks distantly that it’s probably a good thing she’s all wrapped up—if she weren’t, if she had even an inch more freedom, she’d give in. She’d throw her arms around Camila and pull her close.
Since that almost kiss, Valeria hasn’t been right. Her thoughts won’t stay where they belong. They have had to restart the same episode three times already, the same opening scene looping again and again because Valeria can’t focus—can’t breathe—can’t stop watching Camila do literally anything.
Camila drinks water, and Valeria’s attention follows the tilt of her head, the slow line of her throat as she swallows. Camila absently twists a strand of hair around her finger, and Valeria can’t stop watching it twirl.
She tells herself to look away, but she can’t. Valeria genuinely thought this whole “slow” thing would be easier.
“Camila?” Valeria says, voice low.
“Yeah?” Camila says, turning toward her.
“Do you think us going slow is silly?”
Camila sits up a little straighter. She frowns, eyebrows knitting together. “No? Why?”
“I don’t know.” Valeria picks at a loose thread in her blanket, already regretting asking. “We’re clearly into each other. Does it make sense to go slow when it’s clear we’re both struggling on day one?”
Camila shrugs, but it’s a thoughtful one, not dismissive.
“I think it makes sense. Honestly, I’ve never done slow before.
I usually go headfirst into whatever my feelings are telling me to do.
” She pauses, considering that. “So maybe this is . . . good. Different. You wanted time, right? To explore this without it feeling rushed because of your breakup. To make sure you’re into me. ”
There’s a small sting there, though Camila says it gently, but it lands regardless, right beneath Valeria’s ribs.
“I didn’t want to go slow because I wasn’t sure if I was into you,” Valeria says quickly. “Which, for the record, I am; there’s no doubt in my mind about that.”
“Then is it because you think it’s too soon?”
Valeria draws in a slow breath. “I guess, but also, part of it is letting more time pass so you can’t question us being together.”
Camila’s brows furrow again. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to feel like . . . like you’re a rebound. Or like I jumped into this with you to replace Brooke.” Valeria’s eyes finally meet Camila’s. “I like you.”
Something in her expression softens at that. Camila exhales slowly, probably sorting through a dozen thoughts and choosing which ones are safe to say out loud.
“Okay,” she says at last, the word gentle, thoughtful.
“That makes sense.” Her lips curve as she exhales.
“But no matter how slowly we move, Val, I will always take you and what you say seriously.” Her gaze stays on Valeria’s, steady and warm.
“I told you once, and I’ll keep saying it for as long as you need to hear it.
I trust you to know your own heart. If you tell me you like me, that you want to be with me, that you’re ready .
. . I believe you. I take it exactly as you offer it.
” Her voice softens. “I’m not looking for reasons to doubt you.
I’m choosing to trust you. If at any point you realize you don’t want this, I trust we’ll talk about it. Like we have so far, about everything.”
Adrenaline shoots through Valeria’s body, and her need to hold Camila swells.
She wriggles free of her blanket cocoon and, without hesitation, throws herself into Camila’s lap.
Her arms slide around Camila’s neck, her legs naturally straddling Camila’s thighs, fitting there as if she’s always belonged.
“Thank you,” Valeria murmurs into Camila’s neck. The words are barely louder than a breath.
Camila’s arms come up around Valeria, pulling her closer.
The contact sends a warm, dizzying rush through Valeria; the feel of their bodies pressed together is euphoric, and it sends a current through her chest, a feeling too full for words to ever explain.
Valeria lets out a soft sigh, melting into the embrace, her cheek resting against Camila’s shoulder, wrapped in a feeling she hadn’t known she’d been craving—safe, seen, and cherished.
Camila’s hold tightens a little.
Slowly, Valeria lifts her head, their faces close enough that she can feel Camila’s breath brush her lips. One of Camila’s hands rests at Valeria’s waist, anchoring her there, and the other brushes gently along Valeria’s jaw, a touch so reverent, so gentle it makes Valeria’s chest ache.
Valeria’s heart beats wildly, wings against her ribs, as she leans in closer.
“Is this okay?” Valeria asks, inching closer still.
“Yes,” Camila breathes, the corner of her mouth curved into the smallest smile.
Their foreheads meet, and the space between them feels charged and tender all at once. Valeria doesn’t close the distance; she just breathes Camila in.
Neither of them leans in at once. It happens slowly, so slowly, Valeria barely feels the movement.
Camila closes her eyes first, and Valeria closes the barely there distance.
Their lips meet in a soft, slow kiss, as if Camila wants to memorize the feeling just as much as her.
However, Valeria doubts she could ever forget a kiss like this.
She eases Camila’s lips open so she can savor her fully, deepening the kiss, not with urgency, but with desire.
Camila smiles into the kiss, and Valeria’s heart flutters, her entire body relaxed and alive at once.
Camila pulls Valeria closer, one hand spreading at her back, the other threading into her hair.
Valeria melts into the sensation of Camila’s arm around her and the slight pull of her hair.
A tingling pleasure floods her body, and their kiss grows feverish, making it almost impossible for Valeria to pull back, but she does, because if they don’t stop now, she will have no willpower left later.
When they part, Camila presses a gentle kiss to Valeria’s forehead before placing one on her temple. Wrapped together, they stayed like that—laughing softly, foreheads touching, the world reduced to longing and closeness.
Valeria faintly wonders how she’ll be able to resist Camila’s lips, which beckon her closer at every opportunity.
Turns out, she can’t.
Now that Valeria’s had a taste, she can’t seem to keep herself in check, can’t will herself to stop kissing Camila, and Camila seems to struggle with the same.
They’re kissing so intensely that Valeria doesn’t realize she’s lying on top of Camila.
Not until Valeria lightly grinds into her, and Camila lets out a soft moan against her lips.
The sound makes Valeria want to go further.
To prove how much she likes her. That thought alone helps keep the fire from consuming her.
Her relationship with Brooke was just that, giving herself over to prove she loved, to prove she cared, and she doesn’t want that again.
Valeria doesn’t want to lose this feeling between them that makes her lightheaded.
She wants Camila, wants her more than anything, but not because she feels she needs to prove her feelings.
She wants to give herself over because it feels good to touch her and be touched by her, not because of some fucked-up residual from Brooke.
And that is what allows Valeria to unglue herself from Camila’s lips.
Because that “switch” she thought of earlier makes sense.
From the moment she told Camila she liked her—without realizing it—she’d slipped back into old instincts.
Translating feelings into proof and trying to prove her interest with touch.
“I want you,” Valeria says into Camila’s mouth.
“You can have me,” Camila answers, kissing Valeria, biting her bottom lip before running her tongue over it. Valeria almost forgets what she was about to say, briefly wanting to lose herself in the moment.
“I can’t,” Valeria groans.
Camila pulls back then. Eyes wide. “Did I do something?” she asks, her face turning pale.
“No, no, you’re perfect.” Valeria peppers Camila’s face with kisses.
This is the part that’s tough to talk about without sounding . . . broken.
“It’s just that . . . my relationship with Brooke was .
. . extremely physical, but not in a good way.
Sex was the way we made sure things were okay.
If we were fighting, or something felt off, or if Brooke felt insecure, we’d hook up.
” Valeria shakes her head. “I don’t want that again.
And right now, as much as I want to do just about everything with you, there’s a tiny voice in my head telling me I need to prove how much I like you by giving myself over.
Not because of anything you’re doing,” Valeria adds quickly, stroking Camila’s cheek.
Camila takes a big, steadying breath. “I don’t ever want you to feel like I need that.
Sex will never be a tool between us. When and if it happens, I want it to be because you want it, to have me, not because you think that’s the only way I’ll believe this thing between us is real.
” Camila gently squeezes Valeria’s hips.
“I want you, Val, I do, but not like that. I’ll never want you like that.
So we can put it off for as long as it takes for that voice in your head to quiet.
There’s no timeline here and absolutely no pressure from me. ”
A tide of emotions crashes over Valeria, leaving her breathless.
She’s never felt so cared for. Every worry she’s ever voiced has been met with gentle understanding by Camila, who never makes her feel silly or broken for having them.
She’s met every worry with care, never dismissing her, always talking her through it, wanting to understand.
Valeria doesn’t know how to make sense of it all, how to put into words what it means to her—this feeling of being wholly understood.
She leans into Camila, letting herself be held. In that quiet and simple presence of someone who truly cares, Valeria feels something Camila has only recently returned to her . . . safety.