Chapter 16 #2
i stand by it. i’ve seen you lose a battle to tape. let me see the damage.
Clara 11:41 a.m.:
IT WAS DOUBLE-SIDED
I take a picture of Diana’s perfect bow next to my scraggly one and text it to Alejandra.
Alejandra 11:43 a.m.:
Clara 11:44 a.m.:
It’s not THAT bad
Alejandra 11:44 a.m.:
DID YOU FIGHT THE RIBBON???
Clara 11:44 a.m.:
You’re lucky you’re cute, or I’d block you right now
Alejandra 11:46 a.m.:
i am cute
and you miss me
Clara 11:46 a.m.:
…maybe
Alejandra 11:47 a.m.:
i’ll be done around four. i can’t wait to see you!!!
Clara 11:47 a.m.:
HURRY!
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and when I look up, Cathia and Diana are at the threshold, watching me with mischievous grins.
“Well, well, who’s got our Clari looking so smitten?” Mama C nudges Diana.
Diana leans against the counter. “Oh, no one, just her giiiiirrrlfriieeeend!” She flutters her eyelashes.
Heat rushes to my face. “Shut up,” I say through a nervous laugh.
“You should have seen them at rehearsal on Sunday.” Diana grins. “They could barely keep their hands off each other, sneaking around and making out all over my house like a couple of teenagers.”
I nearly faint on the spot when I catch Cathia’s confused expression. The last thing she’d heard was that it was fake, and now this? We’re giving the poor woman whiplash.
“Is that so?” She raises an eyebrow.
Diana nods, and Cathia shoots me a look—one that clearly says, We’ll be talking about this later.
After lunch, we head back to the living room to finish making the centerpieces. Diana gives me one more chance at the bows, which goes about as well as you’d expect. My loops are lopsided, my tails uneven, and I manage to glue my fingers together at least once.
Eventually, Cathia gently steers me toward the flower arrangements instead. “Try this,” she says, handing me a bundle of peonies and eucalyptus. Surprisingly, I’m pretty good at it. Granted, Diana has already precut the fake flowers, and there’s an example sitting right in front of me, but still.
Before long, we decide this is about as good as we’ll do today. We don’t end up making all thirty centerpieces, but we get twenty-two done, which we’re counting as a win.
When Cathia and I kiss Diana goodbye and head toward my car, my heart picks up because I can feel it coming. There’s a conversation waiting for me the moment the car doors shut behind us, and I can’t avoid it for the hour drive back to Stanwood.
Sure enough, we’re barely out of Diana’s driveway when Cathia says, “So . . . are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Alejandra, or should I start guessing?”
I grip the steering wheel a little tighter. “What do you mean?”
Cathia lets out a soft snort, more amused than harsh. “Come on, don’t play with me. Last I heard, this whole thing was pretend.”
I glance at her. Her gaze is steady, a little sharper than usual. It throws me. She’s not usually one to ask or press. Most of the time, she lets things be. But I guess it’s different when it involves your kid and someone you raised as your own. She’s not just curious; she’s making sure we’re okay.
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “It was . . . at first.”
“And now?”
I don’t know how much to say. But then I look at her, at Cathia, who’s protected and loved me as her own my entire life, the person I trust almost as much as I do Alejandra, and I want to tell her. I want to share some of the happiness I feel with her. Maybe I won’t tell her everything, but enough.
“Now . . . it’s not so fake anymore,” I say, still not entirely believing the words myself.
“When did this switch happen?”
“Last night,” I reply, quieter than I mean to, almost shy.
“And how are you feeling about it?” Her voice softens. “I still remember that call you made sophomore year, in the middle of the night, all choked up over some girl you said you couldn’t have.”
I blink. “You remember that?”
Of course, she does.
“You didn’t say who it was, but I always thought it might’ve been Alejandra. She’d started seeing Mia, and you got really quiet when her name came up the first few months of their relationship.”
I huff a quiet laugh, mostly at myself. “I thought I was being subtle.”
“Not even a little,” she says, nudging me. “You sounded heartbroken. And after that, you wrote love off, like you’d decided it wasn’t for you.”
Her words hit something old and raw in me.
I’m suddenly back in my dorm room, junior year, sitting on the floor with my phone pressed to my ear, knees pulled to my chest. Alejandra had started dating Mia, and I’d called Cathia in the middle of the night, wrecked, because I couldn’t breathe with how much it hurt.
Cathia had listened, reassuring me while letting me fall apart.
“So . . . I’m asking if this is what your heart really wants, or are you only doing this because you know Alejandra doesn’t do casual relationships?”
I don’t answer right away, not because I don’t know the answer. It’s because the question feels bigger than it sounds. But the answer’s simple.
“I want this,” I say. “It’s always been her, even when I tried to pretend it wasn’t. I’ve never wanted anyone else. And I’m not doing this because she’s a serial monogamist. I genuinely want a relationship with her.”
Cathia’s face softens. She reaches over and brushes her fingers over mine.
“Then I’m happy, for both of you. You both deserve something beautiful.
Alejandra is my daughter, but so are you.
I made a promise to Maribel to always be there, and that doesn’t change, whether you’re dating Alejandra or not.
” She gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I know this love is as true as it gets. But I also know you, and I know how your brain works. You can be a little bit of a pessimist,” she says with a smile.
“So just in case you need to hear this, even if things don’t work out between you, you’re still my kid.
Always will be, and I’ll be there as much for you as I am for her. ”
A lump rises in my throat. I hadn’t realized how badly I’d needed her to say that. Loving Alejandra has always been terrifying, because my feelings for her have always been tangled with the fear of losing my family.
“Thanks, Mama C.” It comes out rougher than I’d expected.
“I know Maribel is happy for you two.”
I blink hard, keeping my eyes on the road. A tear slips free anyway, sliding down my cheek. I don’t say anything, just nod, hands steady on the wheel, but my heart is so whole I feel like it could explode.