Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CLARA
I’ve been so worried about everything that could go wrong between Alejandra and me that I didn’t allow myself to think about how good things could be, how amazing and perfect and normal it would feel to cross every line with her.
I hadn’t let myself picture how addicting it would be to have her beneath me like this.
Gazing up at me with that deliciously dazed expression, her eyes glazed with need as my fingers barely graze her clit, teasing, circling, while my other hand rolls her nipple between my fingers, coaxing each arch of her back.
I press my mouth to her breast, my lips parting to suck and lick with hunger. Her skin melts beneath my tongue, softer, warmer, and so much sweeter than I imagined. A fire ignites deep inside me, shifting from want to an aching need—a need to taste every inch of her, to map her body with my mouth.
“Open,” I breathe, tracing my fingers along her thigh.
Alejandra spreads her legs with aching slowness, like she knows I’ll savor every second, and I do, so much that I nearly whimper at the sight of her thighs finally falling open—inviting me in, pulling me closer without a single word.
I lift myself from the bed, and I sink lower, my lips brushing over her breast, gliding down her stomach.
I’ve never been a fan of hickeys, but right now, I have this intense need to mark her, to leave proof that I was here on her skin, tasting her, losing every ounce of restraint I’ve had for the past fifteen-plus years.
I slide between her legs, then linger along the inside of her thighs. My breath catches as I take in how wet she is.
I’ve rarely let my mind wander this far; the few times I’ve indulged in the fantasy of having her like this couldn’t have prepared me for the reality.
For how perfect she is beneath me, or how fiercely the wave of desire hits me, and I want to live in this moment a little longer.
To revel in the fact that this beautiful woman I’ve craved for over a decade is drenched for me. Wanting me.
I lower my mouth to the curve where her thigh meets her hip, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses into the heat of her skin.
Her pulse quickens, her breath catches, eyes softly closing as I lean in, kissing nearer to where her body aches for me.
My mouth hovers above her swollen clit, with just a whisper of contact, teasing her with every breath while my thumb circles gently, stoking the heat until she trembles beneath me.
Her back arches, hips reaching for my mouth, but I lock her legs in place as I loop my arms around her thighs.
Alejandra bites her lip, desperation flickering in her eyes. “Clara, please.”
I tease her again, and she whines softly, her hips searching for me once more, but I hold back, letting the tension coil tighter.
“Patience,” I murmur against her, my breath washing over her slick skin, making her shudder and her breath hitch as my lips ghost over her clit. Her hands fist the sheets, her body strung tight with need, and she parts her legs slightly wider, desperate for more.
I press a kiss beside her center, then another, working in slow, torturous circles.
I feel the tension build in her thighs, the way her breath stutters, and I smile against her.
I’ve never wanted someone this badly, and teasing her is testing as much my patience as hers, but I can’t help wanting to extend this moment forever. To have Alejandra like this for hours.
When I finally part her with my tongue, it’s slow. One long stroke that pulls a sharp, broken moan from Alejandra’s lips. Her hips jerk, like her body’s been waiting for this, begging for it, and now that I’ve given in, she doesn’t know what to do with the flood of sensations.
I drag my tongue from her entrance up to her clit, savoring every slick, trembling inch of her. The taste of her is intoxicating, heady, and impossibly sweet.
She gasps, one hand tangling in the sheets, the other fisting in my hair. Her thighs quiver around my shoulders, and I feel it—how close she already is, how sensitive.
I dip my tongue into her, chasing the taste of her.
Alejandra’s arousal coats my mouth, and I groan low in my throat, devouring her like I’ve hungered for this forever, because I have.
I’ve wanted this for so long, I already know this is my new obsession.
I already can’t get enough. I want to drink her in completely, to devour every part of her like she’s the only thing I’ll ever crave.
I press my tongue in deeper and she cries out again, louder this time, her back arching off the bed as if her body’s trying to reach more of me, take more, feel more.
“Fuck,” Alejandra whispers as I close my lips around her clit and suck lightly. She moans my name, her hips rolling helplessly beneath the weight of my hold. Her thighs tremble in my arms, her whole body tightening under me, but I pull back, just enough to make her whine.
“Don’t do this,” she pleads, frustrated, and I can’t help a grin from spreading across my lips.
I dip my head again, giving her a single, firm lick that makes her gasp, but before she can grind against me, I pull away again, letting my breath ghost over her instead of my tongue.
“Please,” she begs, voice breaking. “I need you.”
I glance up, meeting her eyes as I speak. “I’ve wanted you for a while,” I murmur, too turned on to care about how it sounds or how big a confession it is. “Let me enjoy you,” I say as I give her another slow stroke, curling my tongue over her clit.
She moans, the sound wrecked and beautiful. Her thighs tense in my arms, her body trembling. I smile against her, silent and cruel, savoring the delicious torment.
I press kisses below her clit, so close she can feel the heat of my mouth, then, when her breath is ragged and her thighs are trembling, I stop.
She sobs, torn between pleasure and denial, her body writhing.
I keep her steady, arms tight around her thighs, completely in control.
When she finally whimpers my name, desperate and undone, I whisper, “Come for me.” Right before I draw her in again, deeper, harder.
I give her everything, my tongue, my mouth, my moan against her dripping heat, relentless, consuming.
I groan against her, helpless under the way she’s coming undone for me.
She throws her head back with a cry, grinding into me, her hands buried in my hair, moaning loudly, and the sound she makes reverberates straight through me.
It pulses low and deep, syncing with the ache coiling in my core.
Every flick of my tongue over her sends shockwaves through my body, tightening, building, every single nerve ending alight.
Arousal curls deep in me as my tongue laps over her. My own orgasm unfurls out of nowhere, as if her pleasure has become mine. I moan into her as I come, shuddering, tongue still moving as she writhes beneath me.
We fall apart together, me with my mouth on her, her with her hands in my hair, both of us shaking, soaked for each other.
I’ve never come like that before. Never from giving, and I’ve never come so fucking hard in my life, period.
I don’t move, guiding Alejandra back down from her orgasm, kissing the inside of her thigh as her body settles. When her breath evens out, I work my way up, settling beside her, lightly tracing my fingers up and down her ribcage.
She burrows into my arms, her lips trailing to the side of my neck. The heat of her kiss sparks through me again, igniting a rush. If this is what her kisses do to me every time, then there’s no way we’re ever leaving this bed.
“Your mouth is perfect,” she moans.
“Is it?” I tease, licking the hollow of her neck, where her pulse is still fluttering, fast and uneven.
“Want to find out what else it can do?” I kiss her neck softly at first, then with more intent, letting my lips part against her skin.
She gasps, arching slightly beneath me, her fingers tangling in the sheets.
“I do, but don’t think I can handle another.”
“I bet you can,” I reply, licking slowly up to the edge of her jaw.
She exhales sharply. “You’re not playing fair,” she says, but her voice is breathy, wanting.
“I’m not playing at all.”
Her hand finds the back of my neck, pulling me in tighter, but her body is still trembling, sensitive, and overstimulated. Maybe she can’t handle another one right now. I press another kiss to her throat, gentler this time, and pull back enough to look at her.
“You can have all the time you need,” I whisper, lying beside her, lips still brushing her skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know, but once I can move my legs again, I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel,” she whispers, leaning in close, her lips brushing my ear, and the sensation sends a shiver down my spine.
I trail my lips down her jaw, my hand sliding to cup the curve of her neck, pulling her even closer. “Trust me,” I murmur, voice low and breathless. “You already did.”
She stares at me, wide-eyed, waiting for me to say more.
“I came when I was eating you out. You never even needed to touch me.”
She bites her lip, eyes dark, amused, and a little turned on. “That good, huh?”
I nod, my own eyes locked on hers. “The way you moved, the way you moaned . . . and you taste amazing, I couldn’t hold back. You were so—” I break off, jaw tightening. Even remembering it sends a shudder through me.
“Are you embarrassed by that?” She eyes me worriedly when I don’t finish the sentence.
I shake my head. “It’s just never happened before. I’ve never been so in tune with someone that I could feel their orgasm as if it was my own.”
“Well, I’m glad I could be your first,” she says softly.
I press a kiss to her forehead, and then Alejandra meets my eyes, her own shining, and says, “We slept together.”
I bite my lip, fighting the grin that wants to break free.
“We did,” I whisper, almost in disbelief, while a delicious warmth blooms in my chest.
I’ve fantasized about this so many times, but I never thought it would happen, and now that it has, I feel like I’m floating.
“How are you feeling about that?” Alejandra asks.
I think about downplaying it and telling her it wasn’t a big deal.
But I don’t want to. Because it was, and it was amazing.
Actually, it was more than amazing. There should be a whole new word invented to describe how incredible it was.
Being with her felt like the most natural thing I think I’ve ever experienced in my life, and that’s terrifying, but I don’t care because it’s with Alejandra.
She’s my person, my home, my safety, the woman I’ve been in love with forever.
“I didn’t think I could feel so good about something,” I confess.
“You don’t feel—” There’s a long pause, and immediately my stomach twists itself into a million knots waiting for her to say something. But my brain has already gone to the worst-case scenario. This is why best friends don’t do this, it reminds me.
“You don’t feel awkward?” she finally asks.
Maybe I should have lied. But I haven’t yet, and I don’t plan to.
If she regrets this or feels awkward about it, I’ll deal with it.
I’ll do what I’ve been doing for the past decade and suppress my feelings to make sure Alejandra and I are good, because this friendship takes priority over my libido.
Even if I never get to have sex this amazing again.
“No,” I finally answer as I look down at her tucked away in my arms.
“Me neither,” Alejandra agrees.
Everything in me melts.
“Should we?” she adds, looking up at me, her hazel eyes fixed on mine.
I, of course, want to say no because I’ve yearned for her for the majority of my life. But Alejandra hasn’t had any of these feelings before; this attraction is new to her, and I know how confusing it can all be at first.
“I don’t think so,” I finally say. “But we don’t have to keep doing this if you don’t want to.” I keep eye contact with her as I say it, wanting to make sure she knows she’s got an out, even if I desperately hope she won’t take it.
“No, no, that’s not it. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”
I reach for her, cupping her face, drawing her in. My thumb brushes her bottom lip, and her tongue flicks out to touch it, sending a jolt straight through me.
How could I not be? I’m in love with you, I want to say, but I don’t. Instead, I lean into her, desperately hoping this moment could stretch on forever.