Chapter 22
Noah
Ispend the weekend at Hannah’s, bingeing junk food and wallowing in how pathetic my life is. I’m reduced to hiding in my fake girlfriend’s dorm room while she consoles me over my stupid insecurities.
Romeo didn’t owe me anything. We weren’t in a relationship. It was nothing but sex in a club with a stranger. Who cares if he had feelings for someone else? I don’t own him.
If I’m honest with myself, I’ve been consumed with lustful thoughts about Kincaid. How’s that any different? I would never act on them, and neither would Romeo. The guy he liked had a girlfriend, for fuck’s sake.
But I let my insecurities fuck up the one good thing I looked forward to. The one thing in my life that made me feel like me.
Hannah drops me off early Monday morning so I can shower and dress in a fresh change of clothes before heading back to Beckford for classes. My eyes catch on Zac’s car parked on the street in front of our house, and my chest tightens. What’s he doing here?
A sobering thought occurs to me. Maybe after I left on Saturday night, he got drunk and went home with someone else and hasn’t come back to get his car yet. The thought of him with another person, man or woman, churns in my gut.
Before I climb out of the car, Hannah reaches for my hand.
“I know everything seems bad at the moment,” she says when I look over at her.
“But we’ll figure it out. We have your grandfather’s birthday next month.
Let’s get through that, then we’ll come up with a plan.
You’ll get your happily ever after, Noah. ”
I force a smile and lean over to kiss her cheek. “Thanks, Han.”
The house is quiet when I let myself in. Jasper and Dane have late classes on Mondays, so they’re probably sleeping in. I trudge upstairs and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
Avoiding the mirror, I turn on the taps and strip off, dropping my clothes on the floor. My fingers itch to reach for the new packet of razors in the cupboard, but I don’t have time with today’s class load so heavy.
So I step into the shower and let the scalding water beat down on me instead. It burns, but I relish the bite, gritting my teeth as steam fills the room.
I quickly wash, realising the longer I stay locked in here, the more I want to ignore my classes and purge my body of all these overwhelming feelings.
Shutting off the water, I cast one last glance at the cupboard before wrapping a towel around my waist and stepping into the hall, only to run into a wall of muscle.
The towel slips, but I make no move to grab it as I stare in shock at a familiar pair of blue eyes.
“Sorry,” Zac chokes out, swallowing as his eyes travel down my naked body. “I needed to use the bath—” His words cut off when his gaze lands on my pierced dick. My body heats, but all the air whooshes from my lungs when he whispers, “Shadow?”
I jerk back like he slapped me. “What did you call me?”
His eyes lift to meet mine. “You’re the guy from Euphoria?”
My pulse races. “W-what?”
“My masked shadow.”
A creak sounds from down the hall, and terrified of being caught naked out here with Zac, I reach down and grab my towel before shoving him into my bedroom and slamming the door shut. Footsteps sound outside my room, then the bathroom door closes.
Neither of us says anything. We just stare at one another. My chest rises and falls as I gaze into his gorgeous blue eyes. My Romeo. How the fuck is this even possible?
His brow furrows. “Hannah—”
“It’s fake.” I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. “She’s been covering for me.”
“So you’re…”
“Gay,” I confirm, my heart lifting at how good it feels to finally say it.
“Holy fuck,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “I have so many questions.”
“I don’t want to talk,” I say, tossing the towel to the side and gripping his shirt. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate, slamming my back against the door as he claims my mouth, his hands sliding up my chest.
My tongue delves into his mouth, and I kiss him like a man starved. Fumbling to push his sweatpants down, I force myself out of my head. I want this. I want him.
His kisses are addictive, and I moan at the way he moulds his lips to mine like we’re two pieces of the same puzzle. Everything with him feels so right.
The sound he makes when I tug on his bottom lip with my teeth shoots straight to my cock, which is leaking pre-cum.
Reaching into his boxers, I wrap my hand around his length, giving him a teasing tug and running my thumb over his head, gathering his pre-cum. I swallow the resulting groan, loving the way he thickens in my palm.
I pull him out, sliding our lengths together and shivering at the contact as my hand works both of us.
He punches his hips forwards, chasing more, but he doesn’t stop kissing me.
His hand moves up to grasp my throat. “You tried to run away from me,” he growls, nipping my bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue.
“You’ve got feelings for someone else,” I grunt, squeezing our dicks together and moving my hand faster, drawing us both closer to euphoria.
He draws his head back so he can smirk at me. “Yeah, you. Idiot.”
“What?” My ministrations falter as I stare at him.
Zac bites down on his lip, his hand dropping between us to cover mine. “You’re the idiot with the girlfriend.”
Well, shit.
My free hand grips the back of his neck, and I pull him in for a bruising kiss as we both work each other over. His thumb brushes over my piercing, and I moan into his mouth.
“Shh,” he murmurs against my lips. “Unless you want your housemate listening at the door.”
Fuck. I was so focused on him, I forgot we’re not alone.
“I’m close,” I say, leaning in to bite his neck.
“Me too,” he groans, punching his hips at a maddening pace.
The friction of his velvet length against mine sends me over the edge, and I grunt out my release, warm ropes of cum covering our hands and stomachs.
Two strokes later, his body stiffens, his pleasure mixing with mine.
He rests his head on my shoulder as we both breathe heavily, coming down from the rush of adrenaline.
I close my eyes, still unable to believe my masked Romeo is also my goalkeeper and the guy I’ve had a crush on since the moment I joined the Beckford team.
Zac’s muttered curse causes me to snap my eyes open, but he’s grinning as he bends to retrieve my discarded towel from the floor so he can clean us both. “Got any clothes I can borrow?”
His sweatpants and shirt are a sticky mess, and we’ve both got classes soon.
I move to my cupboard and toss him a pair of jeans and a clean shirt, which he changes into while I get dressed.
When I turn around, my heart flips seeing him in my clothes. They look good on him.
He rubs the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “So, that happened.”
“It did,” I reply, perching on the end of my bed. My stomach is a jumble of butterflies and rocks, and I rake my hands through my hair.
This complicates things.
Zac’s face drops. “I can go if you—”
“No,” I choke out. “You don’t have to. I just… shit.” I bury my head in my hands. “Sorry, I just need a second.”
He hesitates, then the bed dips beside me as he sits down. “I’m confused.”
“You and me both.” A huff of laughter escapes me, but I don’t look at him. I can’t.
“You’re gay?”
I nod.
“Since when?”
I lift my head, shrugging. “Since always.”
His brow furrows. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s complicated.”
“You’re telling me. Does Hannah know?”
“I told her Saturday night.”
“When the two of you were in your room?”
“Yeah. I felt guilty coming to see you, even though she and I were fake.”
He tilts his head. “Why is that? Why hide who you are?”
I jerk to my feet and pace in front of him. “I told you. No one knows about me. It has to stay that way. This is why I went to the club. I can’t be with anyone outside Euphoria. I’m sorry.”
Zac stands, moving in front of me. “I’m not asking you to shout it from the rooftops. I get it. It took me a year to gather the courage to tell my parents.”
I huff out a humourless laugh and shake my head. “You don’t understand, Zac. This isn’t about finding the courage to tell my family. I can’t tell them. This is as good as it gets for me. Sneaking around behind closed doors while I’m in a fake relationship with a woman. That’s my life.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that forever,” he insists. “When I told my parents, they were shocked, but—”
“I’m glad your parents were supportive,” I cut him off, “but that’s not on the cards for me.”
He cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek as he stares into my eyes. “Noah—”
I lean into his touch and release a heavy sigh. “I want you, Zac, but I can’t be with you in public. You have no idea what my father’s capable of.”
His eyes widen. “He knows?”
“He suspects. That’s why this thing with Hannah started. He’s dangerous, and I can’t put anyone else on his radar. Dad needs to believe that Hannah and I are serious. It’s how my life will always be. There’s no getting around it.”
“What do you mean?”
I glance at the clock beside my bed. I only have ten minutes before my first lecture, and I live twenty-minutes from campus.
“Don’t you have class?”
Zac shakes his head. “Fuck class. What’s happening with you is more important, right now.”
My chest tightens. All I’ve ever wanted is someone to put me first.
We get comfortable, propped up against the pillows.
“Your dad’s pretty intense,” he says, giving me an opening.
I snort. “That’s putting it lightly. He’s an arsehole, plain and simple. It’s his way or the highway, no in-between.”
“Is he violent?” I know he’s thinking about what he saw in the car park after the game against Macquarie.