Chapter 30
Noah
Waking up in the arms of the man I’m completely down bad for is something I thought I’d never experience again after losing Nathan.
When I open my eyes to the sight of a peaceful Zac lying on his back, his blond hair falling across his forehead, my stomach flutters, and I can’t help but hope he’ll still want to be with me if things go south with my father this weekend.
I don’t know if I’m ready to go head-to-head with Carl Bentley, but to be honest, I don’t know that I ever will be. He’s stifled me for my whole life, and if I keep following this path, I’ll end up miserable and alone. I don’t want that.
Zac gives me this quiet strength that makes me want to find a way for us to be free of Dad’s narcissism, and for me to forge my own path.
I’ve given this a lot of thought over the past couple of weeks and explored it at length in my therapy sessions.
The truth is, I’ve never had any interest in going into the family oil business.
I only went with it because Nathan and I were going to do it together, and after he was ripped away from me, I accepted it because I didn’t think I had another option.
Dad’s proven he can manipulate me into doing what he wants, pulling strings I didn’t even know existed.
I learned the hard way that standing up to him came with a fallout, and Nathan paid the price.
If he could sabotage Nathan’s entire future without blinking, what would he do to me for stepping out of bounds?
Even with Nathan gone from Perth, the rumours about me still circulated.
When Dad announced I was transferring to Beckford U, I felt sick.
I argued at first, even though I knew it was futile—when Carl Bentley makes a decision, everyone falls into line.
Then I let myself think it might be a blessing in disguise.
Maybe I’d have a chance to breathe. The opportunity to live life without him watching me like a hawk.
I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple.
The moment I stepped onto campus and saw Zac, that freedom twisted into something sharp and terrifying.
Because I felt something for my teammate that I wasn’t supposed to feel.
Something Dad wouldn’t tolerate. Something Nathan had already paid the price for.
All the old fear came roaring back, reminding me how dangerous it was to want someone the way I wanted Zac. I knew it wouldn’t end well… for either of us.
That’s why I pushed him away. I was such an arsehole to him, and he had every right to think I was a homophobe.
In a way, he was right, but only in the way that fear can twist you into something ugly.
Everything my father hammered into me—the lectures, the threats, the way he tried to ‘fix’ me after Nathan—made me react without thinking.
I lashed out at Zac because I was terrified of my feelings, not because there was anything wrong with him. I hate myself for that.
This weekend is my chance to stand up to Dad and show Zac how much he means to me.
I press my lips to his naked chest, and he stirs, the sexiest sleepy groan slipping from his perfect lips. His blue eyes flutter open, and my heart skips a beat when his lips tug into a sinful grin.
“Hey,” he rasps.
“Hey.”
“What time is it?”
I lift my head to check the alarm clock beside my bed. “Four-thirty.”
He groans again, resting his forearm over his eyes.
“Aw,” I tease. “Is my man not a morning person?”
Zac lets out a sexy growl and rolls on top of me, burying his head in my neck. His morning chub rubs against mine, sending a jolt of pleasure through me. My fingers dig into his hips, and I rub against him again, eliciting a moan from both of us.
“Hannah won’t be here for another half an hour,” I murmur, kissing the sensitive spot under his ear.
He lifts his head, a pained expression on his face. “As much as I want to spend the next half hour in bed with you, I need to sneak out of here before your housemates bust us.”
“No,” I whine, tightening my grip on him.
“Yes,” he says, chuckling as he presses his lips to mine.
“I’m not going to touch you for the next four days.”
“You’ll survive.” He peppers kisses over my face before rolling off the bed and pulling on his clothes.
Once dressed, he leans in for one last kiss, and I grab his hand. “Zac, I—” The words catch in my throat.
His eyes go wide for a second before softening, and he squeezes my hand. “I know.”
I let him go, my chest tightening as I watch him unlock my door and slip out.
When the front door closes downstairs, I roll over and bury my head in the warm sheets, breathing in his lingering scent.
My heart beats an unsteady rhythm.
I almost said it; the words were right there, sitting on my tongue.
He knew exactly what I was trying to say.
The intensity of what I feel for Zac should scare me, but his steady confidence is rubbing off on me and giving me the courage to go after what I want. Him.
I want a life where I get to wake up with him, where I don’t have to hide him behind locked doors. A life where I don’t have to bring Hannah into my mess just to keep my dad off my back. I want to hold his hand in public and kiss him without fear of what might happen if my dad finds out.
The only way that can happen is if I tell him.
Because loving Zac is worth whatever comes next.
My leg bounces harder the closer we get to my dad’s house.
Hannah places her hand on my thigh, smiling softly when I glance at her.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” she reassures me.
I snort. “Easy for you to say.”
“What’s the plan?”
My stomach twists. “I’m supposed to have a plan?”
She squeezes my leg. “I’m proud of you for doing this, Noah. You and Zac deserve to be happy.”
As if he knows we’re talking about him, my phone buzzes, and I look down to read his text.
Zac: Can’t stop thinking about waking up next to you.
My lips kick into a smirk.
Noah: Is that your way of telling me you miss me?
Zac: Maybe.
Noah: Playing hard to get?
Zac: Always. Call me later?
Noah: I will.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Hannah says when I lock my phone. “You can’t let your dad control your life forever. He doesn’t get to have that power over you.”
I nod, unable to speak as we pull onto the road that leads to my family’s property. My chest tightens when the gates swing open. Sweat beads on my forehead as anxiety bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I suck in a desperate breath and link my fingers with Hannah’s, squeezing tight.
“It’s okay,” she murmurs, cupping my cheek. “Whatever it takes to get you through this weekend, I’ve got you. I’ll follow your lead. You’re in control here.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as she strokes my face. “What if I can’t do it?”
“Then we enjoy the weekend with your family, and we try again.”
I peel my eyes open, paste on a forced smile, and nod. I’m determined to put on the biggest act of my life until after Grandad’s festivities tomorrow. As much as I just want to blurt out my truth and then run away, I know I have to play the dutiful grandson first.
The car slows, and the house comes into view.
Set across six acres, my childhood home is a single-storey homestead with a wrap-around verandah.
With five bedrooms spread across three wings, it always felt way too big for just me and Dad.
At the same time, it gave me the illusion of space away from him.
Stepping out of the car, I hold out my hand for Hannah. She smiles encouragingly as the front door opens, and my dad appears.
As I approach my father, I steel myself for whatever insults he’ll start with, but to my surprise, he greets me with an enthusiastic handshake and asks about our flight. In true Bentley fashion, he sent Grandad’s private jet to collect us from the airfield in Talina, an hour from Beckford.
Hannah engages him in conversation as we head into the sitting room, where Maureen, our housekeeper, has set up an extensive morning tea that’s far too much for three people.
I inwardly roll my eyes, but on the outside, I smile and nod and answer his meaningless questions.
Thankfully, Hannah’s the perfect conversationalist, having grown up in a similar lifestyle, though I hope her family is less fake than mine.
Maureen has been our housekeeper since before I was born, and she fusses over me. When she comments how she hopes I’m looking after myself with good food, Hannah grins, telling the older woman that I’m quite the chef and I must’ve learnt it all from her.
I don’t miss the heavy weight of my father’s shrewd attention. I’m sure he’s analysing the way my hand covers Hannah’s, which is resting on my thigh, and the soft smiles she gives me as she tells Maureen how we met at a party at my house, leaving out that I couldn’t even remember her name.
As she talks, I lean in and brush my lips over her temple, wordlessly thanking her for being an incredible friend.
Maureen’s eyes sparkle, and she grins, cooing, “You two make an adorable couple.”
I offer an indulgent smile, but my thoughts stray to my six-foot-four boyfriend and how I can’t wait to return home and kiss the shit out of him.
It’s not until Hannah offers to help Maureen clean up, and Dad and I are alone, that his mask comes off.
“I have to admit,” he says, settling back in his chair with his pretentious glass of scotch on the rocks, “I’m surprised you’ve been able to hold on to a girl of such high standing for so long.”
My hand tightens around my glass of water, and I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood. I’m not getting into this with him now. I respect my Grandad too much to ruin his day tomorrow.
“So, now I’m not good enough to be with a great girl like Hannah?” I grit out. “There’s no pleasing you, is there?”
“Watch your tone,” he snarls.
“Whatever,” I mutter, jerking to my feet.
Before I can storm off, he grabs my wrist tight.
“Unless she plans on moving to Perth with you after you graduate, there’s no future with this girl,” he warns. “No matter her connections.”
I grit my teeth, barely constraining the angry retort building on my tongue, and glare at my wrist until he releases it. “That’s real nice, Dad. Glad to know what I want doesn’t factor into your plans.”
I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t with him. It kills me not to just lay it all on the line now, but it won’t do me any good to lose my cool.
My skin itches, and I fight the urge to scratch it. Knowing I’m on the edge of a panic attack and not wanting to snap and say something I shouldn’t in the heat of the moment, I storm out of the sitting room.
I take the familiar path through my childhood home, out the back door, and across the manicured lawn. When I reach the massive Morton Bay fig tree I used to hide in as a kid, I don’t hesitate before climbing up the branches.
This tree is where I had my first kiss with Nathan. I’m sure if my dad knew he would have torn it down years ago.
Breathing heavily, I sit astride a sturdy branch and pull my phone out. My hands tremble as I pull up Zac’s contact details and hit call. With the time difference, he should have finished his afternoon classes and be waiting around for tonight’s game against Coleridge.
It only rings twice before he picks up.
“Hey, Shadow.”
His warm voice soothes my rising anxiety, and I breathe a heavy sigh as I relax against the thick trunk.
“Everything okay?”
Even four thousand kilometres away, he can read me like his favourite book.
“I hate him.”
“What happened?”
“Just more of his controlling demands,” I grit out. “It doesn’t matter. In seventy-two hours, his power over me will be obsolete, and I’ll be on my way back to you.”
“I don’t want you to blow up your life for me, Noah. You don’t have to do it this weekend. We can take some time to figure out a plan—”
“I’m not blowing up my life for you, Romeo,” I assure him. “I’m doing it for me.”
He sighs. “I wish I were there with you.”
My heart tugs. “Me, too. I miss you.”
His laughter vibrates through me, setting my body ablaze at the sound. “It hasn’t even been twelve hours. Have we officially become one of those couples?”
“Oh, no,” I tease, chuckling. “Not one of them.”
“Where’s Hannah?”
“Helping our housekeeper clean up after morning tea.”
He chuckles. “I’m sure your dad loves that.”
I sigh. “I owe her big time for everything she’s done for me these past three months.”
“Yeah, you do.”
A comfortable silence settles over us, and I pick at a piece of bark.
“Is Milly excited for the formal tomorrow night?”
He laughs again. “That’s an understatement. She and Jade have taken over our bathroom all this week trialling hairstyles and make-up palettes.” I imagine him rolling his eyes. “She’s got it in her head that I should let her drive my car because it’s a special occasion.”
“Are you going to let her?”
“Hell no,” he exclaims. “I said I’ll drop off her, Jonathon, Jade, and Jade’s date, and pick them up, but she’s never getting behind the wheel of my car again. No one will be, but me.”
“What about me?”
“Sorry, Shadow, but you caught me at a weak moment. It’ll never happen again.”
“We’ll see,” I tease.
“No chance.” Someone calls Zac’s name in the background. “I should go. Call me if you need me.”
“Thanks. Good luck tonight. I—It’s good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too. Bye, Noah.”
He has no idea how close I’m getting to saying those three terrifying words, but I refuse to tell him over the phone.
When I tell Zac I love him for the first time, it will be face-to-face, and I’ll be free to claim him as mine.