Chapter 33
Noah
Icall Adam on the way to the airfield. He tells me Zac was hit by a drunk driver who’d left the Beckford High formal after getting into a fight with his girlfriend.
He crashed into a tree after clipping the front of Zac’s car and died on impact.
Zac had slammed on his brakes, so the crash hadn’t been as catastrophic as it could’ve been—his car spun and hit a parked car—but he’d smashed his head hard enough to knock himself out.
He was rushed to hospital and straight into a CT scan. There’s swelling on his brain. Not enough to operate, but enough that they’re keeping him sedated and under close observation in the ICU.
“He’s lucky,” Adam says, his voice shaking. “They keep saying that. He’s lucky it wasn’t worse.”
Lucky doesn’t feel like the right word when my chest is caving in and all I can think about is Zac lying hurt in a hospital bed, while I’m halfway across the country desperate to get back to him.
It takes four hours to get back to Beckford, and my nerves are shot by the time Hannah and I enter the ICU waiting room.
Adam gets to his feet the second I walk in, his eyes red and hollow. Hannah murmurs something beside me, but all I hear is the blood rushing in my ears as I head straight for Zac’s dad.
“How is he?” The words tear out of me, raw and unfiltered. “Can I see him?”
“They’re still stabilising him,” Adam says, pulling me in for a hug that squeezes the air from my lungs. “He’s still sedated, and they’re monitoring the swelling.”
“Is he—” My voice breaks, and I swallow. “Is he breathing on his own?”
Isabelle reaches for my hand. “For now. The next few hours are important.”
I step away from Adam, turning my gaze to where she’s seated. Milly’s curled into her side, crying silently while Jonathon sits on her other side, a look of stunned disbelief on his face. Tonight was supposed to be a special night for them.
I crouch in front of Zac’s sister and brush her hair from her face.
“Sorry,” I sign. “I should’ve been with him.”
Milly shakes her head, fresh tears streaming down her face as she throws herself into my arms, her shoulders shaking with her grief. I cling to her, needing her as much as she needs me right now.
“Noah?” A hand lands on my shoulder, and I lift my head to find Jasper’s confused eyes studying me. Dane and a few of our teammates hover behind him.
I shake my head, unable to put any of this into words. Not while Zac’s lying helpless in a hospital bed.
He nods, giving me a reassuring nod before joining our friends.
I cast a quick glance around the room, seeing Jade and Theo huddled with an older couple who must be their parents.
Ritter’s leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, while Blake and Everett talk quietly beside him.
Doyle’s slumped in a chair, staring at the floor, while Griffin stands nearby, looking like he’s going to be sick.
Everyone’s here for Zac.
Milly pulls away from me, returning to Jonathon’s side, burying her head against his chest as he puts a protective arm around her.
A nurse appears at the door. “They’re still running neuro checks,” she tells Adam and Isabelle, though her warm eyes travel the room as she speaks. “Once he’s stable, we’ll let in immediate family only.”
I climb to my feet and search for Hannah, finding her already by my side.
“He’s going to be okay,” she murmurs, cupping my cheek.
I lean into her touch and squeeze my eyes shut. He has to be okay.
I can’t lose him.
Two hours later, I’m slumped in a hospital chair with Hannah asleep beside me, her head resting on my lap. It’s been a while since we received an update, and I’m desperately trying to keep it together on the outside, while my insides are completely shredded.
I should’ve told him I love him.
The words were on the tip of my tongue. I should’ve had the courage to tell him how much he means to me.
What if the swelling doesn’t subside?
What if he doesn’t wake up?
What if—
Someone sits down beside me and shoves a coffee into my hand. I look up to meet Jasper’s perceptive gaze.
“You’re the person Kincaid’s been seeing.”
There’s no malice or contempt in his tone, only curiosity.
Knowing there’s no point denying it, I take a sip of my coffee and nod.
He glances down at Hannah, still sound asleep. “Are the three of you…”
I almost choke on my coffee. “No. I—I’m gay.”
A slight widening of his eyes is the only reaction he gives. “So Hannah was just… what? A front to hide your relationship with Zac?”
My stomach twists. I sound like an arsehole, but he’s hit the nail on the head. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” I mutter.
Hurt flashes in his eyes. “You didn’t trust us enough to tell us the truth?”
I rub a hand over my face, too exhausted to have this conversation. All I want right now is to see Zac with my own eyes and know that he’s okay.
“It had nothing to do with you. Things are… complicated with my dad, and things happened with Hannah before—” I cut off, realising I’m about to lie to one of my close mates.
Zac and I didn’t become official until a month ago, but we were hooking up before my fake dating plot with Hannah.
I sigh. “Sorry for lying to you. I promise I’ll explain when…” My voice cracks, and I hang my head.
When we know Zac’s going to be okay.
The unspoken words hang between us.
“He’s going to be fine.” Jasper’s voice is rough.
“Yeah.”
He slumps back in his chair, and we just sit there, silently waiting.
Exhaustion finally claims me, and I fall asleep with the uncomfortable hospital chair digging into my shoulders.
“Noah.”
I jolt awake, bolting to my feet when I see Zac’s parents standing with a doctor.
“Is he okay?” I demand, my voice still thick with sleep.
Hannah, Jasper, and the guys move closer. They’re still here.
The doctor glances at Adam, who nods. “He’s stable. We’re keeping him sedated to give his brain time to heal from the trauma.”
I swallow. “Can I see him?”
She looks around the room before answering. “We’ll need to limit it to immediate family for now.”
My chest tightens, but Isabelle grips my wrist. “He’s family.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I whisper, “Thank you.”
She squeezes my arm, offering me a sad smile.
“Right,” the doctor says. “Well, for tonight, he can have two visitors at a time, for no longer than ten minutes. I’ll leave it up to you. The nurse will take you through when you’re ready.”
“Thank you,” Adam says, shaking her hand. “We appreciate everything you’ve done for our son.”
“Of course.” She disappears back through the doors to the ICU.
Adam turns to face our teammates, and I realise Theo’s parents, Jade, Milly, and Jonathon are no longer here, but Theo’s hovering with the guys.
“We appreciate all of you for hanging around,” he says. “I know it will mean a lot to Zac. You should all head home and get some rest. We’ll keep you updated.”
Hannah’s the first to move, wrapping her arms around my waist. I squeeze her tight. “Text me when you get home, so I know you got home safe.”
“I’ll call you later.”
“Yep.”
She hugs both of Zac’s parents before waving at the guys and leaving.
Blake, Ritter, Everett, Doyle, and Griffin cast curious glances in my direction before following. I don’t know what Jasper said to the guys, but I can’t worry about that now.
Theo has a hushed conversation with Adam and Isabelle while Jasper and Dane approach me.
“We’ll see you at home later.” Jasper pats me on the back.
“Thanks for being here.” I pound Dane’s fist, and they both nod their respects to Zac’s parents.
When I turn back to them, Isabelle pulls me in for a hug. “He’s going to be okay, honey.”
My throat clogs, and I work to clear it. “I know.”
“Will you be okay while we go see him?”
I nod.
She kisses me on the cheek, and Adam squeezes the back of my neck before leading her over to the waiting nurse.
I flop into the nearest chair with a heavy sigh and drop my head into my hands. Everything from the past twelve hours catches up with me, and my shoulders shake with my silent sobs.
Zac’s going to be okay.
And when he finally wakes up, I’m not holding anything back.
He’s the light that drew me from the shadows, helping me face my fears and giving me the courage to be me. No more masks, no more hiding.
I love him.
No. I’m in love with him.