Chapter 35
Noah
Zac’s released from the hospital six days after he wakes up from the sedation. He has a recovery plan for his head trauma and the bruised ribs he sustained from the seat belt. They removed the stitches from his head, but the doctors said it could take a few months for the scarring to fade.
“This is embarrassing,” he grumbles as Adam pushes his wheelchair towards the car. “I can walk.”
“It’s hospital policy, son.”
Zac scoffs. “My feet still work. I’m not a freaking invalid.”
It turns out my boyfriend doesn’t cope well with forced bedrest. He makes for an extremely grumpy patient.
Adam and I ignore him.
I spend a lot of time at his place outside of classes and training, texting him throughout the day because all I can think about is how close I came to losing him.
Two and a half weeks after the accident, Jasper catches me as I’m leaving the changing rooms after training.
“Are you home for dinner tonight?”
I shake my head. “I’m heading to Zac’s. Going to stay the night.”
We have an away game this weekend, leaving early tomorrow morning, and I want to spend some time with him before I go.
Jasper rubs the back of his neck. “You’re not around much these days.”
Guilt swirls in my gut.
“You know Kincaid’s welcome at the house. Nothing’s changed.”
“Yeah, I know.” But did I? I’ve been so used to hiding, I don’t know how to be with Zac in public.
“We all want to see him, too.”
Zac hasn’t been to any games yet—he still gets headaches from being too overstimulated.
“He hasn’t got clearance to drive yet.”
Jasper tosses me his keys. “So, go pick him up. He can crash at ours, and we’ll drop him off before we get the bus tomorrow.”
I stare down at his keys, then back up at my housemate, emotion clogging my throat. “Seriously?”
He sighs. “Noah, we meant what we said before we even knew who Kincaid was dating. We don’t have a problem with him, and we don’t have a problem with you. You don’t have to hide anything from us because you’re worried about offending us or something.”
“Thanks, man.”
He smirks as he pinches my cheek. “Go get your boyfriend, Bentley, and bring him home to meet the parents.”
“Fuck off, Kale.” I laugh and shove him away. “Tell Mum I expect a nice home-cooked meal waiting on the table.”
He snorts and flips me the bird before heading back into the change rooms to light a fire under Dane. Our housemate is notorious for being the last one out of the showers. He’s like a fucking duck playing under the water.
I call Zac on my way over, explaining our change of plans, and he’s more than enthusiastic. He’s been going stir-crazy, and as much as Isabelle’s intentions are in the right place, she’s been a little overprotective.
They’re arguing when I enter their house.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Zac. You’ve only been out of the hospital for a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, and I’m going stir-crazy staring at the same four goddamn walls.”
“Language,” Adam chastises, but there’s no fire in his tone.
“I’m an adult, not a bloody teenager. This is me telling you I’m going to stay with my boyfriend. I wasn’t asking.”
I head into the living room to find Adam kicked back on the couch while his wife and son are having it out.
“Hey,” I greet them, hovering in the doorway.
Adam winks at me with a grin, mock-whispering, “Get out of here while you can.”
Zac scowls at his dad, then turns back to his mum. “I have my medication, and Noah knows what to do.”
“I’m just worried about you,” she sniffs. “I’m not trying to be overbearing, but you were in a serious accident. We almost lost you.”
His face softens, and he walks over to hug her. “You didn’t lose me, Mum, but I seriously need to get out of this house before I go mad. I’ll be fine at Noah’s.”
“We have an early bus to catch, Isabelle,” I add. “I’ll drop him off before we leave.”
I don’t miss the pain on his face when I mention the away game.
He’s missing the boys and being part of the team.
He won’t get to play again this season, but he has an appointment with the neurologist next week, and he’s hoping he can watch training and games if the headaches and tiredness start to subside.
“I’m fine, Mum,” Zac says firmly, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He grabs his overnight bag off the floor, takes my hand, and pulls me behind him as I call out goodbye to his parents.
When we climb into Jasper’s car, he slumps in his seat, heaving a heavy sigh. “Thank fuck I’m out of there. I love her, but she needs to chill. I’m not going to keel over at any second.”
I roll my eyes at his dramatics as I start the engine. “At least she cares.”
He grimaces. “You still haven’t spoken to your dad?”
“Nope.” He stopped calling after the first week of me dodging his calls.
Zac rests his hand over mine, squeezing. He doesn’t need to say anything.
I take a left at the end of his street, heading towards town. But halfway to my house, he starts to fidget in his seat.
“Can you take a right here?” he asks, pointing to a street that makes my stomach curl.
I glance at him, but he stares straight ahead, so I flick on the indicator.
His grip on my hand tightens as we approach the crash site.
Adam and Isabelle had waited until he was out of hospital before telling him that the kid who caused the accident died at the scene.
He hadn’t taken it well. It didn’t matter that the guy had been drunk—almost twice the legal limit—it was a life taken way too young in a tragic accident.
When I pull over and cut the engine, the panic from that night rushes back, and my eyes drift from the open fields on one side of the road to the houses lining the other.
I swallow, glad the people living here called the ambulance when they did.
I don’t want to think about what would have happened if the accident had occurred on a deserted road.
Zac’s eyes don’t leave the pile of flowers at the base of the tree as he silently climbs out of the car and crosses the road, shoulders hunched.
I follow, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and resting my chin on his shoulder.
“Did you know him?”
He shakes his head. “No, but his girlfriend’s brother was in my year level.”
He turns and buries his head in the crook of my neck, his body shaking.
“You’re okay,” I whisper, my chest tightening as I hold him. A tear slips down my cheek, but I don’t bother wiping it away. “You’re still here.”
The smell of curry wafts from the kitchen, making my stomach rumble when I step inside, Zac following close behind. When he closes the door, I back him against it, grip his waist, and kiss him.
“I’m sorry in advance for whatever these two arseholes have cooked up in there,” I murmur against his lips.
His forehead creases. “It smells edible.”
I grin, grab his hand, and pull him towards the kitchen. “It’s not the food I’m worried about.”
We pause in the doorway, and my jaw drops.
Zac lets out a snort of laughter. “What the fuck is this?”
Dane’s standing at the stove in a floral apron, stirring a giant pot of what I assume is the curry, while Jasper’s setting the table. There’s a vase of flowers in the middle that I’m pretty sure they picked from our neighbour’s front yard.
My idiot housemates grin at each other.
“We wanted the first family dinner to be special.”
I shoot Dane a filthy look as I drop into my chair. Zac greets our teammates with a bro-hug before taking the seat next to me. My knee bounces under the table, and he squeezes my thigh, but I can’t relax; tension thrums through me. This is so awkward. I don’t know how to act with him around them.
Dane brings the food to the table, and the four of us pile butter chicken onto our plates. It smells delicious, and the other three guys hoe into it like they haven’t seen food in weeks, but I push my food around my plate, unable to eat with my stomach swirling.
“So, Kincaid,” Jasper says around a mouthful of food, “what are your intentions with our boy, Noah, here?”
“Lay off,” I growl.
But Zac just chuckles and nudges my shoulder with his. “They’re just messing with us.”
No one seems to notice my internal panic. Their conversation carries on like I’m not sitting here with my skin prickling and heat engulfing me from the inside out.
I’m not ashamed of who I am. I just don’t know how to be me.
“Are you okay?” Zac murmurs, gripping the back of my neck and squeezing.
I flinch and immediately feel like an arsehole when I see the uncertainty in his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I grunt, shovelling food into my mouth. It’s tasteless, turning to paste.
Jasper and Dane exchange a look, but neither says anything.
I hate myself. These guys are my closest mates. They’re not judging me. Not judging us. They’re trying to be supportive, but I just can’t shake my old insecurities.
“I’m fine,” I repeat, leaning back in my chair. “This is just weird.”
“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” Dane says with a shrug.
“You’re really okay with us?”
“We’re really okay with it,” Jasper says.
I glance at Zac, who’s watching me with a guarded expression. Breathing out a sigh, I run a hand through my hair and reach over to link my fingers in his. His lips quirk into a soft smile, and I shake my head, unable to hide my own, despite my pulse thumping in my ears.
Baby steps.
After dinner, Dane suggests we watch a movie.
My nerves are shot, and I desperately want to escape to my room, but my housemates are making an effort.
The four of us sprawl out in the front living room, Jasper on the bean bag in front of the fire and Dane stretching out on one end of the large sectional couch, while Zac and I take the other.
Every muscle in my body is rigid as Zac gets comfy, resting his head on my chest and his hand on my stomach, but neither Dane nor Jasper seems bothered by how close we are.
As the movie starts—a covert spy action movie with one of the Hemsworth brothers—I slowly relax into Zac’s warmth.
My fingers trail through his hair, and he sighs, his warm breath tickling my neck.
About twenty minutes in, I remember why we usually avoid watching movies with Dane.
He comments on every fucking scene.
“Cop that, fucker,” he hollers as the spy takes out one of the sleeper cells. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”
Zac snorts a laugh.
“Don’t encourage him,” Jasper groans.
Dane flips him the bird as three more bad guys get shot in the head. “Ooh, that’s gotta hurt.”
Halfway through the movie, Zac’s breathing evens, and he falls asleep. Forgetting we’re not alone, I press my lips to the top of his head, just above his healing scar. He makes the cutest noise, snuggling closer, and I smile, but then I notice Jasper watching us, and the smile drops from my face.
“Relax, Noah,” he says with a sigh. “We like seeing you happy.”
I swallow. “Sorry. This isn’t easy for me. I’ve always had to hide who I am, so it’s going to take some time to feel comfortable being public. I’m still terrified that if I let myself relax and enjoy being with him, something will happen, and I’ll lose him for good.”
“That sucks, man,” Dane says.
“Yeah, but you can’t live like that,” Jasper adds with a frown. “You’re safe here.”
That familiar urge to scratch at my skin bubbles, but instead, I tighten my hold on Zac. “You guys don’t know what my father’s capable of.”
“Have you spoken to him yet?” Dane asks.
I shake my head.
“Isn’t your grandad on your side?” Jasper asks. “Maybe he’s spoken to your dad and sorted everything out for you? You probably have nothing to worry about.”
“Grandad’s running interference to give Zac time to heal after the accident, but he’s made it clear I have to talk to Dad when I’m ready.”
The problem is, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to face him.
With only three months left until I finish my business degree, I’m running out of time.
I came clean to Grandad about Zac, but I haven’t told him about wanting to change career paths.
He might be supportive of my sexuality, but how will he feel when he finds out I’m not interested in joining the family business?
“If things go bad with your dad, we’re here for you,” Jasper says. “We’re your family. So, be happy with Zac. Live the life you want to live. We’ll support you.”
I blink rapidly, determined to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Clearing my throat, I grunt out a simple, “thanks,” and the three of us fall silent, turning our attention back to the movie.
When it finishes, I shake Zac awake, chuckling at the sleepy noises he makes. “Come on, sleepyhead. You need a good night’s sleep.”
I climb off the couch and hold out my hand, helping him to his feet.
He groans as he stretches.
“Sorry,” he says with a yawn. “This medication really messes with me.”
“All good,” Dane says, already flipping through the sports highlights. “See you in the morning.”
Squeezing his hand, I lead him upstairs to my room, grabbing his overnight bag from the front door where he left it earlier.
Once we’re in bed, I immediately reach for him, cupping his face and kissing him soft and slow. He kisses me back, and my body melts into his. Zac’s my safe place; he’s the only person I feel free to be myself around.
“You okay?” he murmurs against my lips, brushing his fingers over my cheek. “I know that was a lot for you.”
“It was,” I admit. “But I have to start somewhere. Baby steps.”
“Baby steps.” He grins, kissing me again. His hands slide over my chest. “At least we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”
“No, we don’t,” I agree, gripping his hands to stop them from trailing any lower. “You need to get a good night’s sleep so you can heal. We all want you back with the team, even if you can’t play. So, the quicker you recover from your head injury, the quicker you get back.”
He groans, resting his forehead against mine. “I’d rather fuck you.”
My dick stirs to life at the thought, and I squeeze my eyes shut. “As much as I want that, it’ll have to wait. It’s been a while, and I’ll have to work up to it. Coach will kick both our arses if I can’t play tomorrow because I can’t walk straight.”
He snorts. “You flatter me.”
Opening my eyes, I smirk. “I’ve had your cock in my mouth, Romeo. I know exactly what you’re packing, and I can’t wait for you to fill me with every inch. But tonight, I want to fall asleep in your arms.”
“Come here then, Shadow.” He rolls onto his side, pulling me into his body and spooning me from behind. I let out a contented sigh as his lips find the sensitive skin in the crook of my neck. “Good night, Noah.”
My heart skips a beat as his arms tighten around me. “Night, Zac.”