Chapter 37
Noah
Istare at my father, seeing nothing but a stranger sitting in front of me. Zac squeezes my hand, and I swallow.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I mutter. “I’m sorry that happened to your friend, but I’m done hiding who I am, Dad. I’m gay. Zac is my boyfriend, and I love him. If you can’t accept that, that’s it. I can’t pretend anymore.”
“Noah—”
My hands tremble.
“What you did to Nathan is just as bad as what those guys did to your friend. You ruined a twenty-year-old’s future because you were scared of something that would probably never happen. How could you?”
Zac wraps his arm around me, and I lean into him, letting him ground me.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“No. You were tearing me apart.” I shake my head. “Do you know how it felt to know I was the reason Nathan’s life was ruined? The guilt and shame you piled on me? How many times I thought about ending it all? That was all because of you, Dad. Not those homophobic arseholes, but you. My own father.”
A tear slides down my cheek, but I swipe it away angrily.
“I didn’t want to lose my only child.”
I snort. “Well, guess what? You did a pretty shit job of that.”
The front door opens, and Jasper’s and Dane’s voices fill the hall. Obviously sensing something serious is going on with me running off from training, their footsteps disappear upstairs and two doors close.
Dad clears his throat and stands. “I should go. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow morning?”
“I’ve got a game.”
“Right,” he says awkwardly. “Maybe after?”
“I need some time. Go back to Perth. I’ll call you when I’m ready.”
Without another word, he leaves, and I remain sitting there, staring into space as I try to process what the hell just happened. Zac stays silent next to me, giving me the time I need—he always knows what I need from him without me having to say anything.
I don’t know what possessed me to check my phone in the middle of training, but when Coach Johnson sent me in to get equipment for a drill, something drew me to my phone.
When I saw the text from Zac saying my dad was at the house, I panicked.
Terrified of losing Zac the same way I lost Nathan, I rushed out to tell Coach I had a family emergency, then bailed on training.
I called Grandad on the way home, needing to know he was still on my side before I confronted my father.
He assured me he would support me, even if it meant giving up my future in the family company.
It was that knowledge that gave me the strength to walk into my house.
That, and the name he gave me. David Simons.
Hearing Zac stand up to my dad caught me off-guard, but it made me fall in love with him even more.
Shifting, I straddle his lap and thread my fingers through his hair, burying my head in the crook of his neck. He holds me tight, rubbing his hand down my back, and my body shakes as all the pent-up emotions finally spill out.
He doesn’t offer any meaningless platitudes or tell me everything’s going to be okay; he simply holds me and lets me know he’s here.
What I had with Nathan was young and fun. Two friends exploring their curiosity and discovering what it meant to fall in love with someone. There was no weight to it, no expectations beyond the here and now. It was innocent. Until it wasn’t.
My time with Nathan was a chapter of my life that taught me that love exists, but also that pain and heartbreak can consume you to a point you feel like there’s no point in living. Losing him altered my life in a way I never expected, leaving me broken, confused, and terrified of love.
It’s why I ran from my overwhelming feelings for Zac, pushing him away with harsh words and a bad attitude, bottling down who I am so I’d never have to feel that sense of loss and pain again. I was protecting myself, protecting my heart, but I only ended up hurting myself even more.
I was drawn to him from the moment I saw him, the way he was so at ease with who he is.
He didn’t care what people thought of his sexuality; he didn’t hide it.
He was everything I wanted to be, if only I weren’t so entrenched in the shadows.
I tried to stay away, I really did, but what I’ve felt for him since the moment I met him is deeper and heavier than either of us could ever have planned for.
Through his quiet confidence, Zac showed me how to accept who I am, to stop running from the past, and to emerge from the shadows. He doesn’t just make my heart race. He makes me brave. Brave enough to stand up and declare what I want—him.
“I love you,” I whisper, pulling back to look at him through blurry eyes.
“I’m so in love with you,” he replies, cupping my face and wiping his thumbs over my wet cheeks.
Releasing a shaky breath, I lean in and kiss him, just a soft brush of lips. “I need you to show me that I’m yours. Can you do that for me?”
He stares into my eyes, searching for any hint that this is a trauma response, but I hold his steady gaze, letting him know in no uncertain terms that this has nothing to do with my dad and everything to do with us.
When he nods, I climb off his lap and take his hand, leading him up to my bedroom.
We pass Dane’s room, the sound of the television loud enough to penetrate through the closed door.
From down the hall, music comes from Jasper’s.
But I don’t care about them. Right now, all I care about is giving myself completely over to Zac, being his in every way.
The door clicks shut behind us, and he grips my face in his hands, pulling me in for a soul-shattering kiss as he backs me towards the bed. We don’t pull apart as we scramble onto it with a feverish need.
Zac’s hand wraps around my rock-hard dick, and I groan into his mouth, the feeling sending shockwaves of pleasure through me.
He trails kisses along my jaw and down my body until he’s settled between my legs.
The first swipe of his tongue along my shaft causes my abs to contract, and I tangle my fingers in his hair as he plays with my piercing before taking me deep into his warm mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” I grunt out, falling back onto my pillows and closing my eyes.
I won’t last long with the way he’s deep-throating my cock, his saliva coating my balls. Pressure builds at the base of my spine, and when his finger prods my back hole, I almost come.
Releasing my hold on his head, I reach for the bottle of lube in my bedside drawer, passing it to him as I collapse back onto the bed in a haze of lust. My heart races, and I squirm beneath him, my impending orgasm building slowly.
He wastes no time lubing up his fingers, and when he finally breaches me, I come down his throat with a long, drawn-out moan.
Pulling off my spent dick, he kisses the scars on my groin and thighs as he adds a second finger, then a third, getting me ready for him.
We’ve been preparing for this moment for a couple of weeks now, and I’m desperate to feel him fill me.
“Zac, please,” I bite out, as he finds that pleasurable spot and massages it. “I need you.”
“Yeah?” he teases, kissing his way up my body. “How much?”
“Too much.”
He hovers over me, and I stare into his blue eyes, my pulse thundering in my ears at the desire reflecting back at me.
“Tell me I’m yours,” I whisper.
“Oh, Shadow, I’m never letting you go.” He kisses me deeply before rolling on a condom and coating it with lube. “You’re mine.”
I breathe heavily as he pushes my knees up and eases inside me inch by agonising inch. He looks like a fucking Norse god, biting down on his lip as he watches where we’re joined through hooded eyes.
Leaning in, he presses a soft, lingering kiss to my lips. “Is this okay?”
“Mmhmm,” I hum, relaxing my body to let him in. “Oh my God, Zac. You feel so good.”
His mouth kicks up into a sexy smirk as he presses in deeper, hitting my prostate and making me see stars.
“Oh, fuck,” I moan. “Fuck, Zac. Don’t stop. Please don’t—Oh, fuck.”
“Shh…” he says with a chuckle, pressing a finger to my lips as he adjusts his position and picks up his pace.
“Mmf…” I groan, gripping his neck and pulling him down for an earth-shattering kiss. My senses are full of him—his taste, his hard muscles pressed into mine, his intoxicating masculine scent, his piercing blue eyes. Everything mixes together in an erotic fog.
Pre-cum leaks onto my abs from my throbbing cock. My nerves spark with heat, electricity bursting down my spine in blinding succession, and I bite my lip to stop myself from coming too soon. I’ve never experienced this type of intense pleasure.
I clench around him every time he pulls out, my body trembling with need.
“You’re taking me so well, Noah,” Zac grunts, going deeper with every thrust, hitting that pleasure spot over and over again. “Are you going to come for me?”
His dirty talk does something to me, coupled with that low, gravelly tenor, and my abs contract as I blow my load all over both of us. It keeps coming, thick, white ropes of cum, making a mess everywhere.
“Fuck, baby,” Zac groans, kissing me again. “That’s so goddamn hot.”
He thrusts inside me a couple more times before pulling out and ripping off the condom, stroking his cock in quick, jerking strokes until his cum mixes with mine.
“I fucking love you, Zac.” I push into a sitting position, gripping his face in my hands and crushing my lips to his in a feverish clash of tongue and teeth. He teases me, nipping my bottom lip before devouring my mouth in a passion that meets my own.
Something has changed between us since our declarations.
Everything is more.
More intense.
More heightened.
More charged.
Just more.
Kissing the man I love no longer scares me—sharing every breath, swallowing every sound. Instead, there’s a desperate ache of needing more and never getting enough.
I chase him when he pulls away, and he lets out a low chuckle as he reaches for my discarded shirt to clean up our mess.
“Are we going to talk about what happened with your dad?” he murmurs, dropping onto his back next to me, resting one arm behind his head and one over his stomach.
“There’s nothing to talk about. His reasons for doing what he did aren’t good enough.”
“You spoke to your grandad about staying in Beckford?”
My lips quirk into a smile. “Yeah. I’m going to look into counselling, like I said. It means another couple of years of study, but Grandad said he’ll pay, so I don’t have to worry about Dad cutting me off. He can try, but he has nothing left to control me with.”
Zac rolls onto his side to face me and brushes my hair off my face. “No, he doesn’t. I’m proud of you. That can’t have been easy.”
I shrug. “I’m kind of glad it’s done now.”
“Will you talk to him?”
“When I’m ready.”
His stomach rumbles, and I smirk, brushing my nose over his before pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Come on, Romeo. Let’s get you fed.”