Epilogue
Noah
TWO & A HALF YEARS LATER
My knee bounces as we approach Perth. I haven’t been home since Grandad’s seventieth, and even though Zac’s sitting next to me this time, I can’t help but relive the horrible memories of that trip.
“Relax,” he says, placing his hand on my thigh to still my anxiety. A smirk tilts his lips, and he leans in to murmur, “Do we need to join the mile-high club to calm you down, Shadow?”
I snort, arching a brow. “Who said I’m not already a member?”
His eyes widen for a moment, but then a knowing smile splits his handsome features. “That’s cute, babe. But unless you and Nathan stole your grandad’s jet in secret, you’re a mile-high virgin.”
Deciding it’s best not to tell him about our gap year travelling Europe, I flip him off instead, and he laughs, leaning in to nuzzle my neck.
His distraction works, and I sigh as I relax back into my seat.
Spending Christmas in Perth wasn’t the plan—I’ve been putting off going back with all the trauma linked to my childhood home—but Nan suffered a heart attack four months ago, and she’s not well enough to travel to see us this year.
I’m nervous to go home, but it’s not the only reason my pulse is spiking.
No, it’s because of the man sitting next to me, and the life-altering question I plan to ask him when we fly to Sydney next week to spend New Year’s Eve with Hannah and her boyfriend, Tom.
That is, if I don’t succumb to my anxiety before then.
This past couple of years have been the best of my life.
Zac moved in with me after he graduated.
He was busy working as a clinical psychologist at Beckford Hospital, and I was swamped with soccer and a heavy course load, cramming a three-year counselling course into two, so we barely had any free time together.
Adam and Isabelle didn’t mind me staying over, but it just made sense for him to move in so we could have our own space.
Well, a space we also share with Dane, Jasper, and his girlfriend, Kate.
I graduated with honours three months ago, and Zac and I have plans to open a not-for-profit drop-in centre for LGBTQ+ teens.
The idea is simple: a safe space for them to hang out, play sports, get homework help, talk to counsellors, or just exist without having to explain themselves.
No pressure, no labels unless they want them, and absolutely no judgement.
I sent a proposal to Grandad last week—we’re hoping he’ll loan us the capital to get started. Considering how supportive he’s been of me and Zac, I think we have a pretty strong chance.
My relationship with Dad has been strained at best. I speak to him once a month when he calls to check in, but it’s all surface level.
He asks the obligatory questions about Zac, though he’s still struggling with my choices, and sticks to safe topics like school and soccer.
We haven’t spoken about Nathan or David since that night.
Last month, Grandad let it slip that Dad had someone reach out to Nathan’s family, only to learn my ex-boyfriend is living in Far North Queensland with his new wife.
He completed his law degree, and now he practises immigration law in East Timor.
It stung to find out he’s married, like he never gave a second thought about us after he left, but it’s a relief to know he’s living the life he wanted.
My stomach swoops as the jet descends into Perth, and Zac picks up on my change in mood.
He leans in and nuzzles my jaw.
“If you want to leave, just say the word and we’re out of there,” he says, squeezing my leg.
“Thanks,” I say, shooting him a small smile. “But it’ll be fine.”
“Of course it will. I’m just saying you’re in control here.”
I grip the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss. He always knows what I need, even when I don’t.
To my surprise, Dad meets us at the airport instead of sending a car, and he greets Zac with a warm handshake and a pat on the back. We haven’t seen him since last Christmas, and it seems like he’s really trying. He asks about Zac’s family as we drive to my grandparents’.
Grandad sits in his armchair by the window, a glass of scotch in his hand.
Nan sits opposite him in hers, a crocheted blanket draped over her frail shoulders as she works on a complicated-looking cross-stitch.
I settle on the couch between Zac’s legs, my back resting against his chest, and he drapes an arm over my shoulder.
Dad stands by the empty fireplace, his arm resting on the mantle as he focuses on us.
“I want to start out by saying I haven’t been the best father,” he says gruffly. “I know my actions have been… problematic, and I have a lot to make up for.”
Zac’s hold on me tightens.
“I’m sorry for what I put you through, Noah.
I understand it will take more than words to earn your forgiveness and your trust. Zac, I want to thank you for being there for my son.
While I’m still working through my own issues, it’s clear that you love each other, and deep down, that’s all I want for my boy.
I deeply regret ruining it for him in the past. It was wrong of me to meddle.
I hope you both know I’m trying to be better. ”
I glance at my grandad, and he smiles encouragingly.
“We can see that,” I choke out.
“With that said,” Dad says, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a bunch of papers.
He strolls towards us, and I reach out a shaky hand to take them from him.
“I know you came here to ask your grandfather to assist with the start-up for your not-for-profit, but I’d like to help.
No strings attached. The money would be a donation, and I’d have no ties to the corporation. ”
Running my tongue over my lips, I unfold the papers and scan the document. My eyes widen when I take in the numbers of the very generous donation. It’s almost double what I set out in my proposal.
“Holy shit,” Zac murmurs when he reaches that part of the document. “It’s way more than we need.”
“Why are you doing this?” I ask my father.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness.
I’m simply trying to make up for past mistakes.
What I did to you and Nathan was deplorable, but I can’t change the past. I can only try to fix the future for other children.
That’s what your vision achieves.” Clearing his throat, he looks me in the eye. “I want to see you succeed.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I turn my head to find Zac’s stunned gaze. “This is really happening.”
“It is,” he says, resting his forehead against mine. “You did it, Shadow.”
My lips tug into a grin. “We did it, Romeo. You and me.”
“Forever.”
His words settle warm and comforting in my chest.
The rest of our week in Perth is quiet. I show Zac around the town I grew up in, and we spend a lot of time at the beach, where I try to teach Zac how to surf—it’s adorable how bad he is.
He blames residual effects from his head trauma for his inability to keep his balance on the board, but I know he just hates failing at something.
Especially when I picked it back up so easily despite not having been in the water for years.
While the sun, sand, and surf are great, my favourite parts are the evenings with my grandparents.
While Grandad is slowing down in the business as he prepares for his retirement, he’s still sharp as a tack, challenging Zac or me to a game of chess each night in his study.
He regales us with stories I’ve heard a million times over the years, but I don’t take a second of it for granted. They won’t be around forever.
Nan joins us, sitting in the large armchair by the bookshelf, working on her knitting or cross-stitch and keeping Grandad humble as he embellishes and twists events to suit himself.
These moments are precious to me, watching the way Nan fusses over Zac and how Grandad has accepted him like another grandson.
It makes me wonder how things might’ve been different if I had come out to them sooner.
Would I have still found Zac? It feels strange to think there was a time in my life before him.
Waking up wrapped in his arms every morning still causes my heart to race.
One night, I find myself alone with Grandad in his study, struggling to beat him at chess.
“You look happy,” he remarks, moving his knight and collecting one of my pawns.
“I am,” I say, unable to hide my grin despite him having the upper hand in our game.
He rests his chin in his hands, pride warming his eyes as I survey the board, trying to figure out my next move.
“Zac’s a great guy,” Grandad adds.
My grin widens as I move my rook to protect my king. “He is.”
“Hmm.” Amusement dances on his face as he makes his next move. “You don’t give much away, do you?”
I laugh. “What do you want to know, Grandad? It’s not like you to beat around the bush.”
He leans back in his chair, appraising me. “Your nan and I aren’t getting any younger. She wants to know if you think we might get to see our eldest grandchild settle down before we expire.”
I arch a brow. “Zac and I are very settled.”
Grandad scowls. “You know what I’m asking, Noah. When are you going to, what is it you young ones say these days? Lock him down?”
This time I laugh so hard, I almost fall off my chair. Wheezing, I try to catch my breath. “Sorry, Grandad, you’re just so easy to rile up.”
“I’ll give you that.” His lip twitches with the hint of a smile. “Do you think you might take the next step with young Zac? The man seems very smitten with you.”
I hadn’t planned on telling my family about the ring hidden in my luggage because I was scared they might try to talk me out of it. But since Grandad brought it up…
Releasing a steady breath, I look him in the eye. “I’m going to ask him to marry me on New Year’s Eve.”
Tears of joy shine in his eyes as he lifts his glass of scotch. “I’m so proud of you, Noah.”
I clear my throat, fighting back my own tears. If only my dad would utter those words.