26. Sebastion #3
She releases his reddening hand and spins back to face me. “Get her out of my home, Sebastion.”
“Dad told me to be understanding.” I stalk across the kitchen and fist Koda’s hair, gently tugging him my way until his arms wrap around my thigh and his little sniffles bounce against my leg. “Be patient,” I mock. “Be compassionate. Your mother made sacrifices and blah blah blah.”
“Blah blah blah?” She growls. “Are you serious right now? You survived your teen years without a single disrespectful, backhanded bullshit remark tossed my way. But now, at thirty years old, you’re starting?”
“Yeah, because for thirty years, I considered you the perfect example of female strength.” Probably gonna get my ass shot today. “So fuckin’ brave! So strong and smart and formidable. I was awestruck by how badass my mother was. But I don’t see that bravery anymore.”
Her nostrils flare with the fury scorching inside her veins.
“This woman in front of me, the warrior I have always, and will always, defend, looks more like a coward.”
Her lungs stutter and seize. “A coward—”
“You gave up your life for mine. You traded everything you ever knew, and went searching for something better. Something safe. You died, because you wanted to live. But this…” I study her stricken face.
Her shaking body. “Screeching at a woman who isn’t your enemy is not how a ruler conducts herself.
Barking at me because I’m no longer a child you can control is not how a leader leads.
And hurting Koda because he’s five and likes to climb shit is not the mother I remember from my youth.
Definitely not the mother I grew up worshipping. ”
“Stop,” she growls through tight teeth. “Now.”
“This isn’t living! At best, it’s surviving. In reality, it’s terrorizing a child and destroying the legacy you worked so fucking hard to create. For the first time in my life, if war loomed and someone asked me who I would fight for, my answer isn’t you.”
Horrified, her eyes widen and glisten.
“I don’t trust you to know who your enemy is anymore, and I won’t march on your orders when I’m pretty fucking sure you’d have us march toward the wrong people.
” I comb my fingers through Koda’s hair and mourn the hero worship today robs him of.
When I was five, I was convinced Arabella Aster was everyone’s hero.
The strongest. The bravest. The most gracious.
My baby brother doesn’t get that same assurance.
“Being unkind to a guest is not strength, and clinging to this world we exist in, separate from the real world, stopped being about bravery a long time ago. Now, it’s about cowardice. You’re not conquering, you’re hiding.”
“Sebastion!” Dad’s deep rumble catches me by surprise, that same I’m disappointed tone tapping at my back until it almost puts me on my knees. I serve my parents, not out of fear of an enemy that no longer exists, but out of loyalty and love for the people who gave me life.
Like Serena has always wanted my approval, I’ve always wanted my mom and dad’s.
Drawing a deep breath, I snap my lips closed and drop my chin to my chest. I tug on Koda’s hair and wait for his eyes to come up to mine. “I’m sorry for shouting at Mom. We don’t do that, do we?”
With a trembling jaw, he shakes his head from side to side.
“It’s okay that you wanted to play, though. And in any other world, with any other person, it would be okay to want to be friends with Scarlett.”
“I got her in trouble,” he sniffles. “Then I got you in trouble. Then I got Mom in trouble.”
“All of those people are adults, and we’re gonna be just fine.
” Unraveling his arms from around my leg, I lower into a crouch and meet him on his level.
“I’m not mad at you, and neither is Scarlett.
Now you just have to give Mom a big squeezy hug, and I reckon she won’t be mad at you either.
Then everything will be better again.” I grab onto his shoulders and yank him in until our chests clash.
“If you wanna play later, come find me. Maybe we could swing by the rec room and play Nintendo or something.”
“Really?” He pulls back and shows off wet, smiling eyes. “You promise?”
“I promise. And if I’m extra lucky, I might even talk Scarlett into playing too. That way, you can hang out with her, but it’s allowed, cause I’ll be there to watch.” I ruffle his hair and wait for his nod of approval. Then I straighten my legs and turn away.
I have nothing to say that won’t make this whole mess worse, so I push through the doorway, passing my disappointed dad, then Mav right after him, grief settling deep in my gut for the goofy smile he no longer wears.
It’s lost now; probably around the time I announced my disloyalty to the family we were raised to fight for.
Shaking my head, I move along hall and head back to my room, only to open the door and lock eyes with Scarlett as she flops her suitcase open on my bed.
Tears stream over her cheeks. “I’m done.” She swipes her face and spins to collect her shit from all over my room. “I’m leaving.”