38
SCARLETT
HERE IT COMES
“Don’t abandon me, okay?” Fifteen minutes later, I stand exactly where I was when Arabella walked away, but now the door is closed and a choking lump of nerves strangles me half to death.
My heart thrums wildly out of control as I press my back to the wood and stare across the room to where Sebastion sits on the side of his bed. “I know you said we wouldn’t go, and I know I said we should, but…” Fuccccck. “Don’t leave me.”
Stewing within his own crisis, he presses his elbows to his knees and drops his head into his hands. He scratches the back of his scalp and scrunches his eyes closed.
His crisis makes my crisis feel worse. He makes my nerves pulse louder in my ears.
“Sebastion?”
He nods. It’s silent and forced, aching and wary.
For perhaps the first time ever, I wish I could be inside his brain.
“A-are you okay?” Frowning, I start across the room and stop between his open legs. This would normally be all it takes for his eyes to come up. Being so close would typically result in his hands on my hips and his tongue coming out to circle his lips.
But not this time.
Not tonight.
Oh God.
“Sebastion? I can’t take more stress right now.” I lower into a crouch and rest my elbows right beside his. “I know life is really hard at the moment. There’s a lot going on, and you have this whiny chick taking up half of your room.”
Finally, his eyes flicker open and search mine.
“I get that my presence has been nothing but dramatic and tiring for you. But I’d like to think your mom’s invitation was truly genuine.
” Not necessarily for me, but absolutely for her son.
“I don’t want to make things worse by snubbing her.
But I really don’t want to go in there and be left alone.
” I shift on the balls of my feet and come closer, wrapping my hands around his wrists and using him to balance myself.
“I have no right to demand more of you. But I will. Tonight.” My voice crackles with a deep ache. “Please don’t abandon me.”
“My mission has changed, Scarlett.”
“I…” I study his haunted expression through narrowed eyes. “What?”
“I told you back at Nova’s house that if shit was going down and the world was on fire, that I would save my mother, even if it meant sacrificing you.”
“Yes, I—”
“My mission has changed.” He cups my face in his massive, dinner-plate-sized hands and folds his back to bring us closer.
“Fuck, Princess. I don’t know if I’ll be the best decision you ever make, or the worst. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be the man you deserve…
or even want. I don’t know, Scarlett.” He exhales a shuddering breath.
“I don’t know much at all. But I know my mission has changed, so if the world is on fire and I’m forced to choose…
” He swallows audibly. Nervously. “I choose you.”
He straightens his back and drags me higher, then he trades my face for my backside and pulls me onto his lap until I’m straddling his thighs and our noses almost touch.
“I’ll always love my family, and I hope there’ll come a time eventually where I can leave you and my mom in the same room alone and not worry someone is gonna die…
or cry,” he adds on a groan. “My entire life has centered on protecting the people I love. So, really, my mission hasn’t changed much. Just the list of priorities.”
Bringing his left hand up beside us, he explains, “It used to be my mom.” He drops it just the smallest notch.
“My dad and brothers.” Another notch. “Myself. Because I’m a selfish motherfucker like that.
” Another notch. “Nova. Nova’s brother. Even Linc, since he was Nova’s protection.
But now…” He thrusts his hand higher, much higher, far above where his old list began. “You.”
My jaw wobbles to the same tune as my thrumming heart.
“It’s just you up here, Princess. Then me, because if you exist, I exist. If you’re alive, I’m alive.
” He lowers his hand a few inches, back to where his mother first sat.
“It’s not that I love my family less. It’s not that they don’t matter, or that they don’t deserve my protection.
It’s just that…” He draws a noisy breath through his nose. “Well… I love you more.”
My body does that thing it always does. Tears flood my eyes and burn in the corners. My heart stutters and sprints, and my hands shake. But what I don’t do, what I don’t allow, is freeze. I press my forehead to his and breathe the air he expels. “You’re not a junker car.”
He exhales a soft laugh. “No.”
“And I’m not a junker car either.”
He shakes his head, just the tiniest shift so as not to push me away. “Definitely not.”
“I’m scared.”
He drops his hands to my hips and pulls me closer. “Me too.”
I lower my chin and press a trembling kiss to his lips. “I love you, too. It’s the craziest thing,” I snicker. “Because I was having so much fun hating you. But here we are anyway.”
He wraps his arm around my torso and spins, slamming my back to the bed and startling a squeal from the depths of my chest. Then he follows me down, his knee between my legs and his beautiful eyes searching mine.
“Here we are.” He presses a gentle, nibbling kiss to my lips.
“I’ve never loved anyone who wasn’t my family before, and I’ve never loved a woman, ever, except that one we’re not talking about right now.
So I can’t promise I won’t screw this up.
I’m the guy who’ll err on the side of saying dickish things, and if you’ve got a problem I think is dumb, it’s gonna take a lot of deprogramming for me not to walk away and let you stew in your bad mood all day.
I was raised predominantly with men, and the only female in my life isn’t exactly Suzy Homemaker.
I’m gonna screw up. I’ll piss you off. But I swear,” he lays another, slower, deeper kiss on my lips.
“I’m gonna try my best to make this a decision you won’t regret.
I promise to always put you first, Princess.
But I need you to promise not to assume the worst straight out of the gate. ”
Emotion backs up in my throat and makes it hard to breathe. Still, I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and suckle him from the swell. “Okay. I promise.”
“If I fuck up, tell me,” he rasps. “Talk to me about it. If I’m not listening, talk louder.
Scream.” He trails his fingertips gently over the pulse pounding on the side of my neck.
“Chamber a slug and aim it right at me if you have to. Make me listen. But please don’t assume the worst. And definitely don’t bail. ”
I draw a shaking breath and stretch my lungs. “I promise. But can we revisit the dinner thing?”
He barks out a laugh and crashes a violent kiss against my lips.
He kisses me until my lungs empty and my head swims. Until my stomach hollows and my panties slick.
Then he breaks it with dual gasps and backs away.
He wraps his hand around mine and pulls me to my feet, then he looks me up and down and smirks that filthy way he does.
“I’ve only known you in the winter, Princess.
But I gotta say, you look good in these cute little dresses. ”
“It’s the nicest thing I thought to pack.” Nerves surge in my belly again, bringing me forward until my forehead touches his chest. “It’s not weird, is it? Do I look like I’m trying too hard?”
He hunches his back and fists the two-inches-above-knee-length hem, all so he can run the tip of his thumb over my exposed thigh.
“It’s not too much. It’s not too little.
It’s not trying too hard.” He releases the fabric and takes my jaw in his hand instead.
“It’s exactly right, I promise. And I won’t abandon you.
” He shakes his head solemnly. “Even if someone asks me to grab something from the fridge, I’m not moving my ass.
Even if Uncle Bas passes out on the table…
” His eyes twinkle with humor. “I’m not moving. ”
“Don’t say that!” I shove away from his chest and start across the room.
I leave my phone behind, since I have no pockets, and it’s not like taking a purse to dinner is normal in these situations.
I leave my cross-body bag where it is, and my notebooks in the window.
I walk to the door and take the handle in my palm, but before I open it, I peek back at the man shamelessly watching me walk.
“I’m glad Bas is feeling well enough to eat with us.
But if he deteriorates, you have my blessing to catch him before he hits the floor. ”
“Eh.” He licks his lips and growls his appreciation, his eyes zeroed on my exposed legs.
“He’s a big boy, and there’ll be others at the table who can help.
” Finally, he follows me across the room and drapes himself across my back before I get the door open.
“Can I touch you under the table, Princess?”
“Absolutely not.” I slap his hands off my thighs, force his broad body back, and open the door before we add obnoxiously late to the reasons Arabella dislikes me. “If I can’t trust you to keep your hands to yourself, I might be forced to sit with Mav.”
Following me into the hall, he throws his arm over my shoulders. “Sitting next to Mav will not save you from wandering hands. But it’ll leave him with two broken wrists and a bleeding brain, since it’ll be my job to teach him a lesson about touching what’s mine.”
“Like I’m a possession?” I grumble. “A toy to be owned?”
“Mmmm. My toy. No one else’s.”
I spin in front of him just five feet from the kitchen entryway and force us to stop, bracing myself in case he steamrolls straight through me.
Surprised, he takes my arms in his hands and looks left. Then right. Searching for whatever made me stop. “What?”
“Remember that talk we just had about you saying dickish things? And how I promised not to assume the worst?”
Relaxing again, he smothers a noisy snort. “Mmhm.”
“Well, that was one of those things. You’re being dickish, and I’m not bailing.
I’m even assuming you mean to express how much you enjoy my company, rather than the worst, ownership, which would certainly be dickish of you.
” I patronizingly pat his chest and move onto my toes.
Even then, I need him to fold lower and accept my kiss.
“Now I need you to focus. If your mom has laid steak knives out with dinner, could you take hers away? I don’t have the emotional bandwidth right now to worry about being stabbed while I’m eating. ”
Chuckling, he smacks another kiss onto my lips and yanks me closer until our chests clash. Then he spins me to the front and forces me to walk. “I promise. You carrying?”
“No!” But then I turn serious again and search his eyes. “Are you?”
“No.” He leads me to the kitchen door and pins me closer as five others stare back at us.
It’s possible they heard the thing about steak knives.
Goofy and playful, Mav pats the chair beside his and lifts his chin that way flirts do. “You wanna sit with me, Princess? I saved you a spot.”
“You don’t call her Princess.” Sebastion leads me into the room and claps his brother on the back of the head. “Move.”
There are only two available seats left: one beside Mav, and one opposite, beside Koda. Which means Sebastion and I would be separated.
“You’re so dickish sometimes.” Giggling, Mav pushes his chair back and picks up a three-quarters full beer.
While Paul, Arabella, and Bas watch in loaded silence, Mav merely muscles his way between me and Sebastion and presses his hand to the small of my back.
“You can have my seat, Scarlett.” He gently steers me that way.
“I kept it warm for you. Besides, sitting across from you makes for a better view.”
“Swear to God,” Sebastion growls, walking around the table and pressing a kiss to the top of Bas’ head.
They hold for a beat, Bas’ hand coming up to squeeze Sebastion’s wrist. Then he moves on and taps the side of his fist to his dad’s shoulder.
While Maverick helps me into my chair and pushes me in, since I suppose he thinks I can’t do it myself, Sebastion stops beside his mom.
She’s nervous and shaky. Her cheeks are red and her eyes are bright.
She folds her neck and looks up at him, heartache written into her every feature.
But then he leans in and presses a sweet, lingering kiss on her cheek.
“Sorry we’re late.” Pulling back, he winks and allows her to squeeze his hand. “Traffic was awful.”
She chokes out a tear-filled snicker and nods. “I’m just really happy you’re here.” Releasing him, she brings her eyes around to me. “Thank you for coming, Scarlett.”
“Let’s dig in.” Sebastion yanks his chair out and drops into it. He opens his legs wide, so we touch from ankle to hip, then leaning across the table, he steals Mav’s beer and flashes a teasing grin toward his uncle. “You look like a million bucks, dude. They gave you the good cocaine this time?”