Chapter Thirty-Three #2
He walked into the apartment, and she shut the door behind him. They shared an uncomfortable moment of silence. He glanced around at the open boxes. She tried to smooth her hair, self-consciously.
Paul turned his attention back to her.
“How did you know I was here?” she asked.
“Your dad told me.”
“You went to his house first?”
He nodded. “I saw Emily. She told me Penelope died.”
“Yes. She was very distraught.”
“She thought I’d died, too.”
Vanessa swallowed hard. “I told her you’d moved to Houston.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “How’ve you been?”
“Terrible.”
“Me, too,” he said with a wry smile. “Not quite dead, but almost.”
“I’m glad.”
“Glad I’m terrible?”
“Glad you’re not dead.”
His gaze wandered over her again. “You look better than ever.”
She could have said the same of him, but she wasn’t ready to dole out compliments. “How’s your shoulder?”
“It’s fine.” He rotated his left arm to demonstrate. “No permanent damage.”
“You didn’t need surgery?”
“No.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to explain his disappearance. Instead, he just stared at her, as if he expected her to speak first.
“Is there anything I should know?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
He gestured toward her midsection.
“Oh,” she said. “No worries there. It was the wrong time of month, like I said.”
Paul didn’t appear relieved by the news.
“Is that all you came for?”
“No. I came for you.”
Vanessa looked away, rubbing her sweaty palms on her shorts. She tried not to be dazzled by his tall, well-built form. She’d forgotten how good-looking he was. It was an assault to the senses, devastatingly unfair. She gestured toward the kitchen. “I was going to get a drink. Do you want one?”
“Sure.”
She had bottled water in her fridge, so she offered him one and grabbed another for herself. They sat down at her kitchen table. It was a secondhand, country-style piece. Nothing fancy or expensive.
She cut to the chase. “Where have you been?”
“I was in Katy, near my parents’ old ranch.”
“You didn’t call.”
“I couldn’t call. I didn’t have a cell phone.”
“Jackson told me Mendez got arrested.”
“Yes.”
“Are you safe now?”
He paused before answering. “I’m safer than I was.”
Her heart plummeted. Maybe he wasn’t planning to come back to her. He was just visiting to toy with her emotions and send her into a lonely spiral. He’d taken pains with his appearance to add insult to injury.
He fingered his silk tie. “I had a job interview in San Angelo this morning. I borrowed these clothes from Kyle.”
San Angelo was a mid-sized town about two hours away. “What kind of job?”
“Mounted patrol for San Angelo PD.”
“Mounted patrol? Are you able to ride?”
“I’ve been cleared for full activity. No restrictions.”
“What about Houston?”
“I was offered a remote position there. I’d rather transfer to San Angelo, but I wanted to talk to you first.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I wasn’t sure you were staying in Lost Lake,” he said, meeting her gaze. “I wouldn’t take a job in San Angelo if you were planning to move to Austin. Or if you said I didn’t have a chance.”
“You want a chance … with me?”
“Of course I want a chance with you,” he said, his brow furrowed. “My feelings haven’t changed.”
She rose to her feet, flustered. His eyes were too mesmerizing.
He had a good excuse for ghosting her. She was desperately in love with him, and barely able to contain herself.
She wanted to embrace him, to kiss his tortured face, and make up for lost time.
Even so, she hesitated. Their summer fling had ended with a bang—literally.
He wasn’t an easy man to love. He’d lied to her and broken her heart.
What if she let him back into her life, and he did it again? She would never recover.
“I want to be close enough to see you on a regular basis, but far enough to keep you at a safe distance if something comes up. San Angelo is a growing city with a substantial police force and an FBI field office. I’ll be in good hands.”
“You think Aiden Mendez is still a threat?”
“I think an abundance of caution is appropriate under the circumstances.”
“You haven’t fulfilled your promise.”
“What promise?”
“To spend every day trying to make me happy.”
He raked a hand through his hair, mussing its careless perfection. “How did you hear about that?”
“I read the transcript.”
His brows rose with surprise.
“Are you afraid he’ll kill you, or steal me away?”
“I’m not afraid he’ll kill me,” he said. “I’m afraid you won’t take me back, and I’ll die from wanting you.”
Her breath hitched in her throat. She set the bottle on the kitchen counter and bit down on her lip as tears flooded her eyes.
He abandoned his seat at the table and came toward her.
She could feel the heat of his body as he stood behind her, not quite touching.
“I’m sorry I left the way I did,” he said, “and I’m sorry I couldn’t call.
I don’t expect you to welcome me with open arms or forgive everything I did as Paul Murphy.
But I’m hoping you’ll try, because I can’t live without you.
I will never forget you. I will never move on.
” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
She wiped the moisture from her cheeks and turned to face him. She studied his hard, handsome features.
Paul cleared his throat and continued. “I wasn’t pretending to be a different person with you.
I was being myself, and I’m not proud of that.
I’m the guy who was so intent on avoiding relationships that I made up the term bunny, and used it like a shield.
I’m the guy who didn’t care that his last girlfriend went home to her husband, as long as she didn’t expect a commitment from me. ”
“You’re also the guy who got shot trying to help a woman and a child,” she said softly. “You’re the guy who might have bled to death because you attempted to staunch that woman’s wound instead of your own.” She lifted her fingertips to his strong jaw. “You’re the man who rescued me from Bennett.”
“My therapist calls it a savior complex.”
Vanessa smiled through her tears. “You look thinner.”
“I’ll try to bulk up.”
She laughed, shaking her head.
“I have a new last name, by the way. It’s Flynn.”
“Paul Flynn,” she said, and took a ragged breath. She studied his lean physique and stylish clothes. “This will take some getting used to.”
“Are you willing to date a mounted police officer instead of a grumpy handyman?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
She smoothed a hand down the front of his shirt. “Can you wear the tool belt on weekends?”
He crushed his mouth over hers, kissing her with two months’ worth of pent-up passion. She kissed him back with the same fervor, overwhelmed with emotion. He tasted like mint and salt and endless longing. More tears slid down her cheeks as she twined her arms around his neck, clinging to him.
Before she was ready to let him go, he broke the contact. “We don’t have to pick up where we left off,” he said huskily. “I’m not in any rush. We can go out on a few dates, take things slow.”
She shut him up with another kiss and he lifted her off her feet.
With a low groan, he carried her toward the bedroom.
She wrapped her legs around him and threaded her fingers through his short hair.
They fell onto the bed in a tangle of grasping limbs.
She yanked at the buttons on his shirt. He shrugged out of it.
She kissed the scar on his shoulder. Her eyes were still wet with tears. They refused to stop coming.
He cupped her chin, rubbing his thumb over her lips. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m crying because …” Her face crumpled. “I’m in love with you.”
His hand stilled. “You are?”
She nodded.
“That is distressing.”
She smiled and kissed him again. “I told you I loved you in the interrogation room.”
“You hinted at it.”
“I said I was afraid you’d die thinking I didn’t love you.”
“I wasn’t sure you meant it.”
“I meant it.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
They got distracted by a deluge of physical sensations, mouths and bodies colliding. He pulled her T-shirt over her head and nuzzled her lace-covered breasts. “I understand that falling in love can be nerve-racking.”
“Yes,” she said, breathless with anticipation.
“You might experience an accelerated heart rate and racing thoughts.”
“Hmm.”
“I’ll have to check your vital signs.” He pressed his lips to the base of her throat as his hands encircled her wrists. He trapped her arms over her head and held them there. She moaned, arching her spine.
“Your pulse rate is elevated.”
“Is it?”
“I’d better check the rest of you.”
“Oh, yes.”
He unbuttoned her shorts and stripped them off. She helped him remove her lingerie. When she was completely nude, he inhaled a deep breath and just stared at her.
“Are you having racing thoughts, too?” she asked.
“I am,” he said, swallowing hard.
“I think you need more oxygen,” she said and reached for his belt. “Maybe this is too restrictive.”
His gaze darkened as she unfastened the clasp. “It definitely is.”
She laughed at this answer while he scrambled out of the rest of his clothes.
They didn’t talk about the future or make any specific plans.
Paul was strong and alive in her arms. Vanessa was afraid to jinx it by thinking too far ahead.
Instead of worrying about what might come, she focused on the here and now, and relished every stolen moment with him.