Chapter 10 Ewen
EWEN
Idon’t know how long I stood there staring at the doors after he left.
He tipped my world upside down. Finding out the man who confessed to murder is the same man I’ve not only met but actually watched do his immoral things is messing with me
And the fact he knew who I was. Sure, my name is known to everyone who comes here. But I feel like he knew this information without looking at the directory. I never knew I was being watched—stalked.
My brain is at max capacity. For once in my life, I can’t handle the idea of helping anyone or hearing confessions.
I close the church early, feeling guilty for anyone who will miss out on confession hours, but I don’t get many parishioners anyway.
Shuffling into my little apartment Beocca runs like a wild man to rub against my legs. He seems to sense when I need his comfort. He’s my true-life companion. Kneeling down to scoop him up, he meows loudly.
Beocca’s purr eases my anxiety a fraction. He leaps from my arms when I angle them over the bed. He bounces and plays. I stare at him, trying to calm my chaotic brain. His energy is a balm.
I continue to watch him while I remove my robes then hang them up—I own more robes than actual clothes—leaving me in my suit. I go to tug off my Roman collar but for some reason I don’t. Like it’s God’s gentle hug holding me to Him.
Beocca is a welcome distraction, but I need to get out. Smell some fresh air, talk to someone other than that man.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I see I already have a missed call from Caleb. When did he call? It says less than an hour ago. Could have been during the confession or while I was frozen. My sense of time is completely gone.
“My man,” Caleb shouts through the phone as a greeting. “What’s my favorite priest up to?”
I chuckle. “I’m the only priest you know.”
“Nope. I actually know a few, but you’re my favorite. Please tell me you’re free. I want to hang out. Preferably outside of your church.”
“What do you mean? This place is gorgeous.”
Now he laughs. “It is, but I don’t have you come hang out with me at the hospital. I feel like we both could use some fresh air outside of our daily lives. See humans who aren’t dying or confessing.”
If only he truly knew the last confession I heard.
“Actually, that sounds perfect right now. I do need to get out.”
“I can swoop by there in like thirty minutes. Just got to drop my car off at my place and I’ll meet you. We can walk somewhere to grab food or a drink.”
We end our call and I shove my phone back into my pocket. I flop down onto the edge of my bed and swoop Beocca into my arms. He purrs loudly. His fur has always mesmerized me with the contrast of dark black stripes woven into light gray, and the little white socks on his feet.
He curls up on my lap like he usually does but I don’t have the time to snuggle with him. I lift him off me and look into his golden eyes. “Stay here and protect the church for me, bud.” A little meow comes out as if he’s responding to me.
I’m just locking the back door to my residence when I hear Caleb whistling. A giant smile graces his face upon seeing me.
“My brother from another mother,” he jokes as he bro hugs me. For an emergency room doctor he has the calmest, goofiest demeanor when he’s not at the hospital. Caleb reminds me of a silly frat boy. Yet I know that’s just him. He’s genuinely happy.
“Wanna change first?” he asks, eyeing my priest suit still in place.
I shake my head. “No. I’m not changing. This is what I feel most comfortable in. Plus, it’s not against any rules for a priest to enjoy a drink.”
We both laugh and head around the parish. The property isn’t large. It’s the perfect little slice of heaven in my eyes.
Caleb leads us down a couple blocks as we chat about our days. I leave out my moment of coming face to face with the man from years ago. I never told Caleb about that night. The only soul to ever hear of that evening was Beocca and I know he won’t be revealing my secrets.
“Where are we going?” I know this area. Not just because of the parish being in the neighborhood but because Caleb and I lived near here in college.
Our old apartment is only a few blocks north.
Caleb would frequent most of the establishments, usually with me in tow.
I was never the leader in our outings, but I never turned down his invites.
He turns his head to grin at me. “Grabbing a beer at a bar we haven’t been to in years.”
That could be a handful of places. Going out was something we did often in college.
I was such a wallflower, but he never made me feel like I was forced to be there.
Outside of the church, I’m a very shy person.
I became a priest because being in church was the only time I felt confident in my words. In myself.
We come to a stop, and he pulls open the door. I pause and look up, seeing the sign for the bar.
Murphy’s.
He was right, we haven’t been here in years. The last time was St. Patrick’s Day. The same night I accidently went down that dark alley to piss. That night I saw and met my dark stranger. The stranger who revealed himself to me just a couple hours ago.
I hesitate for a second before following him in. The memory of that night slams into the forefront of my mind and I’m drenched in remembrance. The feelings.
Oh, the feelings.
Nope, not going there.
Shaking my head, I refuse to let my evening be interrupted by my wayward thoughts. I’m here with my friend. Being a normal person.
We grab a table and sit down. Caleb glances around as if he’s looking for someone, and I do the same.
The place isn’t as gaudy as it was the last time I came here.
There’re no ugly shamrock decorations, or loud music blasting.
Yes, there’s music but it’s older rock. The place isn’t nearly as crowded either.
I can actually walk around and there’s no line for the bathroom.
“Alright, I have ulterior motives for picking this place,” Caleb says, drawing my attention back to him. “I wanted to see a cute redhead that works here.”
I smile at him. I’m actually glad to see he’s moving past Trish.
“Oh, do elaborate. It’s only fitting to confess to your priest.”
“Ha! Touché my friend.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“I was doing my ER rotation about a month ago. Didn’t have a crazy night.
It was actually calm. The cutest redhead came in.
Had a nasty cut on her hand. Said she got it while cutting garnish and the knife slipped.
I stitched her up. She smiled at me the whole time. ”
He genuinely looks happy talking about her. Did he ever have that spark for Trish?
“She probably doesn’t remember me, and I’m probably being a creep by being here. But I wanted to see her.”
“You know it’s against hospital policy to date your patients,” I remind him. I’m usually a stickler for rules, hence my love for the Bible. A book set with rules and morals.
He blushes like a smitten teenager. “It is. But technically she wasn’t mine. And this, my friend, would just be a random chance encounter.”
He looks over to the bar as a petite woman comes walking out from behind it. She is quite lovely. Long red hair, bright green eyes that look slightly too large for her face but still fit her. She stops at a table to grab some empties and then turns toward us. “Hi guys, what can I grab ya?”
She looks at us with shock clearly written on her face. “Hey doc. Glad to see you again.” She holds up her hand. “Look, it healed up perfectly. Thanks for the stitches.”
Caleb blushes but tries to play it cool. “Glad it healed so well. I bet that scar won’t even be noticeable in a year.”
“So, whatcha want to drink?” she asks him, then her gaze bounces to me. “And wait, is this the new priest, Father Grayson?”
I want to be shy but I’m someone people in the community know about. For her to know who I am is no surprise. Plus, my outfit is kind of a dead giveaway.
“I am. Such a pleasure to meet you.” I extend my hand, and she gives me a firm shake.
“Hi Father. I’m Fiona. I haven’t been to Mass but the neighborhood has been in a buzz since you got here.”
Hearing there’s a “buzz” about me is unnerving until she smooths it over.
“Everyone loves you. Heard praise about how you actually make Mass enlightening and not a snooze fest like old Father Gallagher.” She laughs.
“I haven’t been since I was a teenager because he would make me fall asleep.
Maybe I’ll come in some Sunday and check it out. ”
“We’d love to see you at Mass. It’s always great to see new faces. I actually wish more people would come back.”
She smiles. “I will definitely come then. And I’ll see how many of these regulars I can drag with me.” She motions around the bar. “So, whatcha drinking? First round is on me. For the doc who stitched me up and our newest priest.”
We order a couple of beers, not looking to get drunk.
Fiona is back with our drinks and gives Caleb a shy smile before she heads back the bar and grabs the order of another customer. Caleb is staring at her and barely blinking. Yep, he is fully smitten with her. “She’s cute and sweet. I can see why you like her.”
He turns toward me with a look I haven’t seen on his face in over the decade I’ve known him. He’s unsure of himself. And Caleb never lacks confidence. That’s what makes him an exceptional doctor. He knows he’s smart and good-looking. Did being with Trish wreck that strong side of him?
“There was a spark when we were talking at the hospital—” he says, but I tune him out when I see a man walk behind the bar.
Not just any man, either, but my stalker.
The man who confessed to me earlier today.
The one who revealed himself to me and told me he’s been watching me.
The man who’s been the only person to see me truly vulnerable.
He’s in a basic black shirt that stretches across his chest and shows off his arms—arms that are covered in tattoos and muscular—and he’s smiling and talking to Fiona.
What’s he doing here?
I take in every feature I can, absorbing all that is him.
I’ll admit I thought he was good looking when I saw him in that dark alley, but it had been muddled by the darkness and fear coursing through me.
When I saw him earlier, he was highlighted by all the colors of light from the stained glass.
But now I’m seeing him in a lighted area.
There’s zero fear running through me. No clothes covering his form. He is beautiful.
Fiona says something to him, and he turns his head in our direction. His eyes lock on mine and a smirk graces his face.
The smirk gets even broader as he walks toward us. My muscles tense. I feel as stiff as a board. He reaches us, stopping less than a foot from me.
His gaze devours me, like I’m caught in the sights of a predator before he strikes.
“Father, how kind of you to grace my establishment,” he says without blinking.
I’m once again speechless in his presence.
Why does this man have this power over me?
Caleb must sense I’m unable to speak because he jumps in to break the tension. “Hey, I’m Caleb,” he says, extending his hand for a shake. “This is Ewen. We just wanted to grab a drink and get out.”
My mystery man breaks his focus from me and glances over to Caleb. He grabs his hand and gives him a firm shake. “Nice to meet you Caleb. I’m Declan, owner of Murphy’s. And from what I just heard you were the kind doc who patched up my sister’s hand.”
Declan. What a perfect name for him—deep and strong.
Why do my inner thoughts get so loud around this man?
“Just doing my job,” Caleb says with a smile as he looks at Fiona. Yep, he’s totally smitten. Is she into the nefarious things her brother is, though? And why does he appear so normal and calm? How is he not freaking out about me seeing him?
Declan turns his attention back toward me. “Whatever you order, it’s on me. Have to welcome our newest priest with kindness.”
He winks at me and moves to walk back to the bar. I watch his ass, all snug in his jeans.
When did I become someone to check out someone’s body? This man is messing with who I am.
“Hey E, you okay?” Caleb asks as he bumps my arm with his elbow. The feeling knocks me from my trance.
Heat starts to creep up, like I was just caught doing something I shouldn’t. “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I don’t think I’m feeling so well.” I get up and check my pockets for my keys. “I hate to do this, but I think I’m just going to head home. My day was a lot and I don’t like being terrible company.”
Caleb stands and pulls me into his signature bro hug. “All good. I know sometimes being alone is the best way to get out of a funk. But I’m always here for ya. I’m going to stay for a drink and then probably head home myself.”
As I walk out, I tell myself not to turn back and look for Declan. He is everything I stand against. I’m a priest. My life is dedicated to helping God and shepherding his children into His embrace.
I now know his name and what he does outside of being a killer.