6. Six
SIX
T he walk back to the inn wasn’t pleasant. Normally, Landon and I joked, watched Winchester chase rabbits, and prepared ourselves for whatever horror Aunt Tillie was about to unleash. This morning, we studied the tree line carefully.
Nothing stood out. Birds continued to chirp. Rabbits darted onto the path and then took off again. Things seemed perfectly fine.
Yet I knew they weren’t.
We let ourselves in through the back door, walking into the family living quarters.
Aunt Tillie was not in her normal spot in front of the television telling the weather forecasters they were wrong and screaming at the newscasters that they wouldn’t know real news if it bit them in the posterior.
The couch was empty, and Peg was nowhere in sight.
“It’s mornings like this that fill me with dread,” Landon complained as he unclipped Winchester and allowed the puppy to race to the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I agreed, rolling my neck. “Something is up.”
The sound of raised voices was like the low growl of thunder from an approaching storm as we reached the kitchen door. I exchanged a worried look with Landon and then pushed into the next room.
Mom stood at the kitchen island, wooden spoon in hand, looking as if she was about to fly through the roof.
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” she said to Aunt Tillie, who was glaring from her recliner.
“I’m just suggesting that now is not the time to mess with Clove and Sam.
They’re working hard on getting the ship ready for the season.
They had a few little issues that popped up last minute, and they’re on a deadline. ”
“And I told you that I haven’t been messing with them,” Aunt Tillie fired back. “Why would I bother messing with them? They’re boring.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about your great-niece,” Mom chastised. She didn’t bother smiling at us when she saw us. “Tell her.”
“Clove isn’t boring,” I replied. “She’s just more boring than the rest of us.”
“See.” Aunt Tillie threw her hands into the air. “That one is the second most boring one in the family and even she recognizes that Clove is boring.”
“Hey!” I was offended. “I am not boring.”
“Name one not boring thing you’ve done this week,” Aunt Tillie challenged.
“I went with you yesterday to fix Mrs. Little’s memory.”
“That was my not-boring thing. You just tagged along.”
“I…” Try as I might, no matter how hard I searched my memory, only mundane things popped to the forefront. “Tell her I’m not boring,” I ordered Landon.
“I don’t want to get involved in this argument.
” Landon edged closer to Mom. “I prefer when we have the boring weeks because the not-boring weeks give me ulcers.” He reached for a slice of bacon from the platter but was forced to snatch back his hand when Mom slapped him with a wooden spoon.
“That was a mean thing to do to your favorite son-in-law,” he complained.
“Is it even a contest when you’re the only one?” Mom challenged.
“This is a cold, cold house.” Landon looked morose enough that Mom handed him a slice of bacon. She stared me down when I glared at her. “It’s your fault for marrying a glutton.”
This was not the morning for a repeat argument. “Why did you go out to the Dandridge to mess with Clove last night?” I demanded of Aunt Tillie.
“You’re as bad as your mother.” Aunt Tillie added something particularly vile under her breath. Mom frowned at all the curse words strung together. “How many times must I tell you that I wasn’t out torturing Clove last night?” Aunt Tillie snapped. “I didn’t even go out last night.”
“Now who’s boring?” I challenged.
Aunt Tillie’s finger jabbed in my direction. “And you’re on my list. I hope you’re happy.”
Landon snagged another slice of bacon when Mom wasn’t looking and waved it in the air until he got Aunt Tillie’s attention. Then he pointed at it and winked, indicating the curse he wanted her to place on me.
“Nobody is smelling like bacon today,” I warned him.
“Speak for yourself.” He was blasé as he bit into his bacon. “I’m going to smell like bacon in exactly five minutes.”
Mom gave him a dirty look. “No more before breakfast. You’re going to start exuding bacon grease from your pores if you’re not careful.”
Landon merely shrugged. “What were we fighting about again?” he asked to distract everybody once more.
Reading his intentions, I stormed forward and grabbed the platter of bacon from Mom. “Don’t even think about it,” I hissed.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” Aunt Tillie barked at Mom. “Besides, I didn’t do anything.”
“Pick one,” Mom shot back. “Either I can’t tell you what to do or you didn’t do anything.”
“Both!”
I was still confused. “What did she do to Clove?” I asked my mother.
“Apparently she got naked and danced on the ship.” Mom rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t even a full moon. She did a bunch of magic.”
“Clove is making that up, because it didn’t happen.” Aunt Tillie was getting further worked up with each passing second. “I was here all night.”
“Why would she make that up?” Mom folded her arms over her chest and made the same expression she unloaded when I was sixteen and told her that the car must have moved itself because I certainly didn’t do it. “Why would she possibly call first thing this morning just to lie about you?”
“Because she’s a whiner. She’s still mad that I told her she would be the first one that Bigfoot would eat if we ever crossed paths with him.
She thinks I called her fat, which I didn’t.
She’s just softer than she used to be and Thistle is pure gristle these days.
Of course Bigfoot would go for the soft meat. ”
I made a face. “Why would you tell her that? You know she’s sensitive because she can’t lose the last five pounds from the pregnancy.”
“That’s why I told her. I mean, come on.” Aunt Tillie rolled her eyes until they landed on Mom again. “Don’t accuse me of something I didn’t do.”
“Whatever.” Mom turned her back on Aunt Tillie and reclaimed the bacon platter. “I can only take so much this early in the morning. She’s going to be the death of me.”
“Don’t tease me with a good time,” Aunt Tillie shot back.
Sensing the need to defuse the bomb that was about to go off in the room, I stepped forward. “Where are Twila and Marnie? Is this the last of the breakfast?”
Mom, her eyes narrow slits of “you messed with the wrong witch,” dragged her focus back to me. “Your aunts are checking in Spencer and Steve.”
I did a double take. “What?”
Even Landon, who was fixated on edging closer to Mom so he could steal another slice of bacon, went ramrod straight. “What are you talking about?”
“They’re checking in,” Mom replied. “Steve said this case was important—too important to be an hour away if something big breaks—so they’re going to be staying here a few days. Thankfully, it’s early in the season and we had rooms available.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I looked to Landon.
He was focused on the floor, as if absorbing the news.
After a few minutes, he nodded. “Okay, then,” he said.
This time he didn’t try to hide it when he reached for the bacon.
“Don’t even,” he said when I made a face.
“I’m not allowed to say anything when you get into Aunt Tillie’s hidden stash of wine after a hard day.
You have to drop your grievance against bacon while my boss is here. That’s the rule.”
“I don’t have a grievance against bacon,” I challenged, glaring when he shoved the whole slice in his mouth and started chewing. “And wine is actually good for you. It has stuff that’s good for your heart and … other healthy stuff in it. It’s basically just grapes.”
“Not the way I make it,” Aunt Tillie said.
I pointed at her to shut her up but kept my eyes on Landon. “You can’t just eat your weight in bacon every day that your boss is here.”
“Watch me.” Landon grabbed another slice of bacon and then quickly scampered to the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the dining room. His eyes gleamed with triumph as he shoved the slice into his mouth.
“Oh, that’s a face only a deluded witch could love,” Aunt Tillie complained.
“Don’t forget that she danced naked on Clove’s boat last night,” I said to Mom as I followed Landon. “Don’t let her off the hook no matter how she tries to distract you.”
“You’re definitely on my list,” Aunt Tillie barked at my back.
I pushed her out of my mind—it made no sense for her to deny torturing Clove, because she was more than happy to admit it most days. I had other things to worry about.
Steve and Spencer were just making their way into the dining room when I walked through the door.
Landon was already in his usual chair, pouring himself a glass of juice.
There was a challenge in his eyes. Go ahead and make a big deal about bacon when my boss is here to talk about witchcraft, his glare said.
I pursed my lips, debating, then headed toward our guests. “This is a surprise.” I forced a smile I didn’t feel as I shook Steve’s hand. “I didn’t realize you guys were planning on staying here.”
“It wasn’t our original plan,” Steve hedged.
“I probably should’ve called to make sure it was okay, but Spencer and I got to talking during the ride back last night—there was an accident, so traffic was backed up for miles—and we agreed that for this case it’s better if we’re close. We don’t want anything to go sideways.”
I was a Winchester. All of our cases went sideways at some point.
Now probably wasn’t the time to bring that up.
“That’s smart.” I didn’t mean it. Life would be easier if Landon’s boss wasn’t breathing down my neck.
“Do you have information for us?” I sat between Landon and Chief Terry, giving all my attention to my surrogate father because my husband was on my list today.
“Tomato juice?” Chief Terry asked, correctly reading my mood. I was ready to spill blood at this point.
I nodded in thanks.