Chapter 54
Chapter Fifty-Four
I will let go of the fear and take that leap.
—From Remy’s Affirmations for a Badass
(wait…where’s my soap?)
Remy
If anyone had told her six weeks ago that Bash Wheatley would be kneeling in her family room, proposing to her with a stunning sapphire ring, she’d have laughed in their face and probably called for a psych consult.
And, yet, there he was. Muscular legs encased in faded blue jeans, a white button down showing off the tan that hadn’t fully faded from his film shoot in the tropics months ago, sleeves rolled up to reveal those provocative, corded forearms that had featured in quite a few of her fantasies.
Yes, the overall effect of Sebastian proposing to her—holy shit—was surreal. For long moments, she felt as if she were in suspended animation, floating outside her body. But it was the look in his deep brown eyes that anchored her in the moment. And stalled her heart.
Remy brought a hand up over the spot and rested it there, feeling the reassuring, albeit ratcheted cadence. She opened her mouth to respond to the most beautiful words ever expressed to her, but no words formed.
Deep inside, Remy knew if she accepted his ring, she wasn’t just formalizing the deal they had already enacted. She was assenting to being engaged with Sebastian. Not to him. With him. In all aspects of his chaotic, colorful life. So opposite of her orderly, tidy, beige world.
And yet, Remy couldn’t imagine her world without the bright joy of Sebastian Wheatley.
It was as if she’d been an unfinished canvas, just faint lines sketched onto the tightly woven fibers.
Then Sebastian came in, painting and creating, revealing the potential for vibrancy Remy never could’ve imagined.
And she wanted more. She wanted all of it—as much as he would give her.
Remy acknowledged the knot of fatalism weighing her belly—the surety that this man would love her deeply and thoroughly, lightening her world with laughter and new experiences. And then, just as swiftly as it had fanned, the flame would fizzle. Leaving her alone, bereft. Ruined.
The ice queen would once again hermetically seal her heart. It was the only way to safely maintain its beating when it had been ravaged and needed to heal. It would happen via muscle memory—learned the agonizing way a lifetime ago.
But it would be worth it. To release unlocked emotion and love deeply. To be happy. Carefree. Cared for.
Even though Remy was setting herself up for eventual heartache, she found herself nodding.
“Yes,” she whispered, relieved at the composure of her voice.
“Yes, Sebastian. I will be engaged with you.” She swallowed, the razor blades of defeatism slicing her delicate throat.
“For as long as you’ll have me.” Remy repeated his word choice, holding out her left hand.
Her surgeon’s nerves carried through, allowing her to keep her hand steady as Bash slipped the ring on her fourth finger.
A perfect fit.