Chapter 68
Chapter Sixty-Eight
I’m not afraid to take up space and shine like the star I am.
—From Remy’s Affirmations for a Badass
Remy
The July sunset soaked into the vineyard, dappling the ground with patterns from the grape leaves. Remy gazed down at her left ring finger, where an eternity band now nestled against her engagement ring.
Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, a kiss pressed under her ear, making her shiver. “Happy, Dr. Wheatley?”
“So much so that I’m a bit scared,” she admitted, adding, “Mr. Remington,” with a smile as she turned in Sebastian’s arms.
“Oooh, I like the sound of that.” He gazed at her with soft brown eyes. “The Mr. Remington part, not the scared part,” Sebastian clarified. “What’s scaring you?”
Remy swallowed. Though they’d just said vows earlier, this, too, felt like one. “I’m scared of how much I love you.”
And I’m scared of what comes after this. Please don’t leave me anytime soon. Let me have this for as long as possible, she silently begged.
He tucked her head under his chin, swaying them side to side.
“Big feelings can be scary. But I’m coming to learn that it’s absolutely worth it.
” He kissed the top of her head and shifted back to rest his forehead against hers.
“Seriously, though, I don’t expect you to take my name.
You’re Arabella Remington, my magnificent queen.
And now that I know more about the amazing women who also held that name…
well, I’d fight you to keep it.” Sebastian startled, his face blanching.
“Jesus, Arabella. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean fight like that—”
She pressed two fingers to his lips, smiling sadly.
Would the specter of her past ever dissipate?
“It’s ok, Sebastian. I know you’d never hurt me.
You have a huge personality and can gather wool like nobody’s business, but you’re the gentlest of men.
A true gentle man.” She went up on her tiptoes, brushing her lips to his, a soft summer breeze lifting the strands of her hair.
Their bed and breakfast room had a balcony overlooking the grounds of the Virginia vineyard where they’d said their vows earlier that day. Sebastian had tried to whisk her to Napa, but Remy had wanted her friends, along with Brinder and Honor, to be there. This just seemed expedient.
Of course, her man was a romantic. As such, they’d exchanged their vows at precisely twelve-forty-five on a Friday.
After, they’d hosted a little cocktail hour, inviting Honor, Brinder, and little Jude, plus the four other women of the Red Wine Supper Club—inclusive now of Benny Tambeaux—and Gen’s and Nell’s husbands.
Gen’s husband, King, was suave and sexy, reminding Remy of Javier Bardem.
Nell’s husband, Nathan, who Remy knew from the hospital, had seemed off—distant and distracted.
Remy had caught Nell eyeing him apprehensively several times and made a note to reach out to her friend to check in.
Benny and Lila had chosen not to bring plus ones, and Remy couldn’t help but notice the brief wave of sadness on Lila’s face during their ceremony.
She’d carefully smoothed it away, replacing it with a brilliant smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
And then there was the constant energy—not all of it positive—between Benny and Grayton, Honor’s lead security agent.
There had to be stories there. For Nell, Lila, and Benny.
But that was for another day. And if anyone got it out of them, it would be the tenacious Geneva.
Soon after the reception, their friends disappeared to various lodgings Sebastian had arranged—leaving Remy alone with Sebastian.
Her husband.
Sebastian cradled her face in his large, warm hands, his fingertips brushing softly along her cheekbones. “There’s something I want to say to you.” He swallowed nervously.
Her heart melted. “Are you anxious, Sebastian Wheatley?”
He ducked his head and grinned up at her from under his long lashes. So unfair that men seemed to get the better lashes. Almost like the plumage on male birds—the more vibrant ones were often the males. Designed to woo and win the females of the species.
Well, that was on brand, Remy realized. Because she’d been thoroughly wooed and won.
“A little.” He licked his lips. “Ok. A lot.”
She laughed softly, leaning into his caress.
“Arabella, I need to say some things… Really important things that are too private for our vows earlier. This began”—he motioned between them—“as a mutually beneficial arrangement. But I also fell in love with you, so deeply, so…powerfully, almost from the beginning. This has never really been fake for me. It’s as if,” he paused, eyes filled with intent and deep emotion, “from the moment I first heard your voice, and then saw your face, I recognized you. I knew you were mine. And after that first big hit-by-a-wow-truck experience, my feelings built up in all these magical pieces, clicking together, forming something I never could’ve imagined in my wildest fantasies.
I’ve never been in love before, and I know”—he inhaled and released a shaky breath—“I’ll never love again. Only you.”
Tears spilled down Remy’s cheeks and he kissed them away.
“You had a husband once—”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he merely parroted her earlier action, gently pressing two fingers against her lips.
“But he doesn’t count. Doug Greene was not your husband.
He doesn’t get that honor. He doesn’t get to carry that title.
I’m your husband, Arabella Remington. For now and for always.
Me.” He brushed kisses all over her face, stopping over each of her closed eyes, his soft lips absorbing the tears still trickling.
Bringing her gaze to his, she once again tried to form a response, but he shook his head, silencing her with the entreaty in his eyes.
“I know you carry a natural wariness within you. Understandably so. You’ve had a lifetime of fear and loss, and the best people in your life were taken from you.
You’ve been fighting shadows your entire existence, Arabella Remington.
Now it’s time to dance with them. The shadows make us who we are.
Without the shadows, you can’t appreciate the light.
But the most important thing I want to underscore is that I’m not going anywhere, Arabella, you hear me? ”
She nodded, speechless, more tears falling. She couldn’t manage words, even if he let her get one in.
“I’m going to prove to you, every day, every minute, that I’m here with you.
For good. Forever. You are my mate and my wife.
And I love you. And you better buckle up, Arabella Remington, because that love is only going to grow.
And, one day—maybe soon or maybe it’ll take longer, you’ll look at me and I’ll see it.
I’ll see the trust that I’ve earned. The trust that I’m not going anywhere.
The trust that I’m never leaving you and that you’ll never, ever be alone again.
That you are loved more than you ever thought—more than I ever thought—possible.
“Now I understand why I never fell in love before. It’s because I’ve been waiting my whole life for you, Arabella. And now that I’ve found you, my queen, I will spend every moment of my life worshipping you and cherishing you and reminding you that you are loved. And you…are safe.”
On a guttural sob, Remy’s legs gave out. Sebastian quickly swept his arms under them, cradling her to his chest.
“So safe. So cherished. So loved,” he murmured, depositing her gently on the sumptuous king bed that had already been turned down. “Let me show you,” he whispered against her lips.