Chapter 10 #2
“Anything else happen that I should know about…” her voice fell to a hush, “that I probably wouldn’t remember?”
His pulse hammered. This was it. The moment to say it.
To remind her they had history, even if it was humiliating history.
“There was this one guy…”
Jonah had never been to Confession, obviously. But he wondered if this was what one of those confessional booths was like. Dark, faces mutually obscured. Voices low in the small space. “He made a total fool of himself in front of you last year.”
Suddenly, the countdown tones chimed, the flash surprising them both. Breaking the spell.
“I can’t breathe in this thing,” she laughed.
“And I can’t see jack without my glasses.”
Off came the masks, before the next camera click. Kara was quick; she’d plopped a tiara on his head, too.
“Oh, just for that…you get glasses!” He pushed oversized comedy glasses, built-in Groucho ‘stache and all, onto her face. Click.
They scrambled into poses –props no longer needed. Except for an absurdly long blue feather boa entwined with silver Star of David garland. It fit around the both of them. Three times. She threw her head back and laughed.
The camera flashed. Then again.
Her thigh brushed his. His chuckle caught in his throat.
The curtain rustled with people outside, but no one pulled it open.
Jonah’s pulse refused to behave.
He was usually the fastest guy in his improv class – first to “Yes And,” first to follow the spark and the bit wherever it led.
Tonight? He had no damn clue where this one was going.
Only that he was already leaning in.
You’re good at this subterfuge thing.
Max’s words echoed in Tzipi’s head as they slipped out of the games area once the coast was clear, back into the fresh air of the lower deck.
She had played it off like a joke, but knew exactly what the word meant: Deception on a grand scale, no matter how much her sister had champagne-gummy-bear-sugar-coated it.
And it was exactly what she had been worried about.
Note to self: you need to examine your boundaries when it comes to Kara.
But she knew it was about more than just that. Trying to keep someone else’s world from imploding helped her believe her own might steady again. After Lorne.
Why else would she have swanned onto this boat, and into the spotlight, like some kind of delusional superhero?
“You forgot the cape!”
Max touched her shoulder, still cloaked in velvet. “We’d better get this back, or the prop lady will have your head. Seriously, diva or not. She won’t care.”
“Diva?” Tzipi sputtered a laugh. “Is that what the fanboy thinks of me?”
She couldn’t tell, but Max may have been blushing under that ruddy beard of his. For the first time that night, he walked back his sarcasm.
“No, not at all.” His eyes, wide with sincerity, searched out hers. “You are incredibly generous. Gracious, and kind. I’m sorry.”
Her turn to blush. Taking credit for Kara’s qualities. Her sister was all those things, but so often people assumed she wasn’t. Couldn’t possibly be, due to the celebrity stratosphere she occupied. Tzipi was glad to hear Max saw Kara that way.
I just wish I could let him see me, she thought.
I wish I’d boarded the boat as me.
Not this bulletproof version, hiding in Kara’s wardrobe. She hadn’t been attracted to anyone since Lorne, hadn’t even wanted to put herself out there again. Until tonight. And Max. And now she wished a lot more things.
“I’m stuck.”
“Let me help you.”
The cape was a prop in all sense of the word. Just an excuse.
She took a deep breath, sweeping all the hair extensions to one shoulder. “I think the clasp of the cape is caught in the drape of my dress.”
She felt his warm exhale as he leaned in to examine the issue. “Yeah, it’s hooked through the mesh.” His fingers brushed her neck. “I don’t want to rip it, hang on.” She held her breath while he worked the snag free. “Got it.” The cowl of the gown fell back in place, tension eased.
“Let me run this back to the photo booth. There’s a green room right over there, if you need a minute.”
She did.
She needed to put a little distance between herself and this bodyguard that she’d wanted to kiss in that photobooth. Kiss and confess all to.
“Here, for warmth.” His tux jacket replaced the cape on her shoulders. “It’s pretty much yours now, anyway.” That low chuckle of his made her smile. “Be right back.”
She hugged herself with the sleeves as she made her way to the hospitality area. Funny, the green room had been where she’d pictured herself killing time on the party boat, all on her own. Yet this was the first time all night she’d used it.
“Hey, fancy meeting you here.”
“Robby, hi!” She hadn’t even noticed him in the hallway, she’d been so caught up in her thoughts.
“This is awkward, but…” His boyish grin turned sheepish as he played with the lanyard around his neck. “My pass apparently doesn’t open doors. But this VIP room had been open earlier, and I left all my belongings in there.”
Max had joked about the type of badge Robby wore, calling them “the participation trophies of backstage passes.” That basically they didn’t really mean anything, but they made people feel important.
“Oh, sure.” There was beeper thing on the wall, like the one Max used to get them up to the top deck to watch the menorah lighting.
She tapped her wristband to it, relieved to see its green light flash and to hear the click of the lock disengaging.
“He’s with me,” she said to the uniformed security guard, stationed at a discreet distance. The guy nodded.
Inside felt like every green room she’d ever been in – like the living room of a model house. Tasteful and welcoming, but zero personality.
Some catering laid out, an ample bar, and lots of couches. More fish bowls of the fancy gelt, in all colors of the rainbow. People milled about, small groups in their own private conversations.
At some events, the green room was the inner mecca. But honestly, based on all the sights, sounds, and tastes Max had toured her through on board tonight’s ship, the room paled in comparison.
“Thanks a million, sis.” Robby made a beeline for a couch. “Feels good to just chill for a moment, huh?”
Tzipi had to admit – it did. That was the saving grace of a green room: everyone was so into proving they deserved to be there that brushing shoulders with celebrities became an act of practiced indifference.
People barely managed a hello as they murmured over their drinks, all casual cool and calculated charm.
She had done it herself on occasion, a time or two.
“Take a load off, Rosie Bloom.” Robby patted the couch cushion next to him. She dropped down next to him with a sigh.
“This may be the first time I’ve actually sat all evening. I may never get up.”
His chuckle was higher-pitched than she remembered.
Now that they weren’t under the low light of the outer deck, she could see his features clearer.
Somehow he’d grown up without really aging.
A few laugh lines, but still sweet-faced.
Sort of the midpoint between cute sitcom teen and hot barista energy.
Ten-year-old Tzipi had had such a crush on him. And his character.
Bobby Bloom hadn’t been the sharpest crayon in the box, but had always been nice to her.
“Then I may have just the right thing for you, right now.” Robby wiggled two fingers into his shirt pocket, pulling out a silver foil blister pack. “ChaiCycle.”
It weighed next to nothing in her hand. And had a logo like the average health store supplement, with a Hebrew Chai symbol in the design where you’d expect a sun or moon to be.
“It’s hormone-balancing and metabolism-boosting…
for peak vitality. For all people, for all stages of life – get it?
Chai! Plus it’s got all the polyphenols you’d find in a cup of chai tea, too.
In pill form. I’m still working on my pitch,” he admitted.
“It’s my first venture into the wellness space. ”
“Congrats…wow. I’m happy for you, Rob.”
“And I’m happy we ran into each other here…
I’ve been thinking you’d be the perfect spokeswoman for the brand.
You know, you’re known for your bad-ass villain-busting.
Breaking the chains. How about breaking the vicious cycle of fatigue and inflammation?
” His laugh was even higher-pitched now, and nervous.
“Or, or…get this. We can go a different route. Bloom brother and sister, all grown up. We endorse it together. Ads, socials, maybe a billboard. Then we could lean into the Jewish angle, bring Chai to the masses!”
Anytime now, Max. Tzipi willed him to walk through the door right now. She’d use every extraction signal to get out of this awkward conversation. WWKD – what would Kara do?
“Super fun idea. Bloom throwback vibes! Let’s put a pin in it till after the new year – bring our publicists into the mix.”
“You’re looking at him.” His smile didn’t quite light up his eyes like before.
He still radiated a bit of his old theater kid sparkle, just wrapped up in a slightly wearier version of himself.
“I haven’t been able to afford a publicist since the RTB creative team wrote the brothers off as irrelevant. ”
“You guys went off to college! You weren’t written off.”
His eye roll and smirk told her the two were pretty much the same thing.
Wow, she hadn’t really thought of it that way. She had been so focused on wriggling out of the spotlight relentlessly focused on her star character, she hadn’t noticed the same spotlight was fading on the supporting ones.
She turned the packet over in her hand. “Is the packaging BPA-free?”
“Yep, and made from recycled materials. Plus printed in soy ink. The capsules are also vegan, cruelty-free. Even kosher. All things that matter to today’s health-conscious consumer.”
She wasn’t about to consume this, but wanted to be polite just the same. “Thanks…I’ll save it for a Chai-saving emergency.” She tucked it into her purse.
“Here, take a few more. I have tons.” Robby reached behind the couch and pulled a backpack stashed there. Like a traveling salesman, he cracked it open.
“Wow, that’s quite a pharmacy you got there.” Did he go through the same security line as she did? Because they’d even made the ultra-VIPs open their handbags.
“Just samples. Event promoters are always looking to stock their influencer grab bags for the end of the night. My contact on board told me to bring at least five hundred tonight.”
He handed four more to her. “They’re best when taken daily. Try a five-day challenge. Tell your friends. Tell your sister.”
All the chatter in the room whooshed to a dull roar. All mixing and mingling seemed at slow motion speed. The only thing fast and loud was her own heart.
“You know I’ve always had a soft spot for Tzipi.” His smile was impish again. “Not playing favorites though, promise.”
Paranoid, much? Keep it together, girl.
Movement in the doorway caught her eye. Normal speed.
Max was making his way through the crowd, broad shoulders clearing a path.
“Hey, how about a quick selfie? For old time’s sake? And hell, the guys at the gym will be so jealous.”
She laughed. “Sure, Robby.” That I can do.
They pressed cheeks. “Say Chai!” He clicked with their big smiles in place. “Oops, wrong setting. Once more! With feeling!”
“Cheese! Chai! RTB in the house!”
“Awesome, Kara. Welp, I’m gonna find my guy Reggie and lighten the load.” Robby stood, slinging his pack on a shoulder. “Thanks for being my gatekeeper goddess. And for listening to my spiel.” He leaned in, and she felt herself air-kissing north of his cheekbone.
“Anytime.”
“Hey.” Max was breathless. “Sorry for the delay. Can we talk a sec? Outside?” His glance flicked. “Yo, man. No samples in here.”
Robby had been sliding ChaiCycle packets onto the catering table, tucking a few into the wellness baskets alongside aspirin, eye drops, ginger chews, and the usual VIP necessities.
He held up his hands, now empty. “Easy, big guy. Matzo Baller virgin here. I didn’t know. Sorry.” He gave Tzipi one last nod and smile.
“You wanted to talk?”
Max led them to a slider that opened onto a deck she hadn’t seen before. Another uniformed guard stood at that entrance, who broke into a grin at the sight of him. “Hey, Klein! Long time, man.”
“Rupert!” They fist-bumped, but Max kept walking; intent on steering her far from the doorway.
Ah, Tzipi gleaned. So Max Deduction’s real Bond name was Klein. A nice Jewish name, indeed.
“Everything okay?” she asked. “You wanted to talk?”
“Oh…yeah. Not really. You just looked like you needed air.” He glanced over his shoulder. “People in there can sometimes suck it all out.”
“True. Good save. Robby’s harmless, though. Just a little…overeager to catch up.”
And to trot his old sitcom sister out like a prized pony, apparently.
Disappointing, but…the boat was certainly big enough to minimize encounters with the ghosts of Rosie’s past.