Chapter 16 First Class Fears
First Class Fears
MILLIE
It has been a few weeks since Gabriel and I shared that mind-blowing kiss in his kitchen. Thank goodness Aura interrupted our little make-out sesh, or who knows how far that would’ve gone. I mean, I can’t say I wouldn’t have taken it further if it got to the point.
But now, it’s Italy time.
Today is the day we leave for Italy, and I’m already on edge. I knew I’d be nervous, but I didn’t realize just how bad it would get. I’ve been dodging the inevitable anxiety that comes with flying.
Funny thing is, I’ve never actually told Gabriel that I’m terrified of planes. I just…assumed I could somehow deal with it on my own.
And now, here I am—about to embark on a 10-hour flight, and my nerves are only making it worse. Great.
It’s gonna be worth it, Millie. Calm your ass down. I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what’s coming. I don’t want to be the person who falls apart at the airport, but damn if it isn’t tempting.
I arrive at Gabriel’s house fifteen minutes before he told me to be there—typical me—and knock a few times before letting myself in.
“Gabriel! I’m here. Do you need help getting Aura ready to go?” I shout up the stairs, hoping that he’s not too preoccupied with packing. I really don’t want to be late for this flight.
But as I wait for a response, I can feel the familiar grip of anxiety tightening in my chest. I take another deep breath, steadying myself.
Flying is always a mental struggle for me.
The thought of being trapped in a metal box, thousands of feet in the air, has never sat right with me.
And I’ve been on three planes in my entire life, and each one worse than the last. Growing up in a coastal town, vacations didn’t require flying, so I never really had to confront it.
I pace near the front door, chewing at my bottom lip like it owes me rent. I try humming, distracting myself with Aura’s diaper bag checklist, even pretending to double-check her pacifiers, but nothing is calming me down.
I try to brush it off. I took something earlier to calm my nerves, but it’s not helping as much as I’d hoped…and I can already feel the telltale pins and needles climbing up my arms.
Admitting my fear to Gabriel now feels more terrifying than the actual flight. I’m just praying I can keep it together for the whole ten hours.
When we make it to the airport, I’ve realized I’ve overcompensated to keep myself distracted. While we wait for our plane to arrive at the gate, I take Aura into three different stores.
I pick up an oversized fuzzy blanket, a coloring book, a pack of colored pencils, and a bag of sour strips.
I don’t need any of it. I just need to feel like I’m doing something. Like I’m not completely unraveling inside.
But when we get back to the gate, I feel it creeping back again—the acid churning in my stomach, the jittery legs, the fight-or-flight responses kicking in.
I can’t help but bounce my leg nervously.
“Mills.”
Gabriel’s voice is calm, but it cuts through my panic like a warm knife through butter. His words make me inhale sharply—I hadn’t realized I wasn’t breathing.
He holds out my boarding ticket I tucked in my passport. “Here’s your boarding ticket. I grabbed it out of the side pocket of your backpack so you had it ready before we started boarding."
“Oh, thanks, Gab,” I say, trying to sound normal, but I know my fingers are trembling when I take the ticket. I can barely look him in the eye, but his gaze doesn’t leave me.
He pulls his hand back as if sensing something is off. “Bumper, are you okay?”
I do my best to flash a smile, even though it feels more like I’m forcing it. “Absolutely! Why wouldn’t I be?” The words come out tight, like my throat is closing up on me.
Gabriel gives me a long, scrutinizing look. “You’re shaking.”
Damn it. Why did he have to notice now? Of all times for Gabriel to pay attention to me, it had to be now.
I try to cover up my growing panic, but I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead. “It’s cold in here, don’t you think?”
He doesn’t buy it. Not for a second. But instead of pressing me for details, he just gives me a look—one that says, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I appreciate that more than I can say, but I feel like I’m failing him.
The airport employees call our boarding group, and the knot in my stomach tightens further. I can’t seem to get my legs to move. I freeze, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Should I just turn around and go home?
No, no. I can’t do this. I should just go home.
The idea of getting on this plane and spending nearly ten hours stuck in a metal cylinder thousands of feet in the air at the expense of a pilot I don’t even know—just seems simply impossible.
The line moves forward, and the gate attendant gives me that look. “Miss? Your boarding pass?”
But before I can respond, Gabriel reaches into my pocket, grabbing the slip of paper, momentarily replacing the cold panic in my stomach with a wave a heat. “I’ve got it here,” He says smoothly, handing it over to the employee.
I’m still standing there, not moving. Gabriel leans in close, his voice barely above a whisper, as he puts a hand on the small of my back.
“Bumper, just breathe. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay.”
I’m not sure I believe him, but I nod anyway. His presence is grounding me in ways I didn’t know I needed.
“Aura can sense you’re upset. See?” Gabriel points out to me.
I completely forgot about Aura. I’ve been too busy panicking. I plaster on a smile, looking at the little girl whom I love so much.
“Miss, are you all right?” the employee asks.
“What’s your definition of all right?”
She makes a face.
“She’s kidding.” Gabriel swaps my pass with his. With a second scan, we are clear to board.
My legs still feel paralyzed.
Gabriel puts his hand at the bottom of my back and directs me towards the entrance of the plane. “I know you’re scared, Bumper, but I promise you will be okay.” He keeps his hand on my back, soothing me, grounding me.
He urges me forward lightly with one hand while carrying both our bags and Aura in the other. “Just think, the sooner we get on the plane, the quicker we can get off.”
I manage a tight chuckle. He’s trying to make light of it, but the turbulence in my stomach is anything but light. I feel like I’m going to explode.
We finally get to the entrance of the plane. Gabriel is still guiding me, walking ahead with both our bags in one hand and Aura in the other. “You never mentioned you feared flying.”
I shoot him a sidelong glance, trying not to show how much his words affect me. “You didn’t ask,” I mumble, staring down at the floor.
He snickers. “You got me there.” There’s a pause, and then his voice softens again. “Why did you agree to spend ten hours doing exactly what you are afraid of then?”
I’m not really sure how to answer that. I can’t keep hiding in Cherry Falls forever. And honestly, I’ve always dreamed of going to Italy. It’s not an opportunity you turn down—even if it means being crammed into a tiny seat for hours.
“I guess it’s time for something new,” I say, glancing up at him. “Italy’s been on my list forever, and maybe this is my chance to finally see what else is out there.”
We find our seats in first class, and for a moment, I forget about my fear entirely. Gabriel leans back in his seat, glancing over at me with that faint grin of his. “You know, you shouldn’t insult a man’s size before seeing it.”
I roll my eyes. “Gabriel Sirolli. Did you seriously just make a dick joke?”
His chuckle fills the small space between us, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Did it distract you, though?” He adds, looking far too pleased with himself.
I groan, but he’s right. For a split second, the joke actually helped ease the tension. Maybe this flight won’t be so bad after all.
Hours later, the plane hits turbulence, and all my earlier anxiety floods back in full force.
My body tenses when the first round of shakes hit, but it’s the second wave that makes my hands tremble uncontrollably.
The seatbelt light flicks on, and before I can even process it, I’m gripping Gabriel’s arm like a lifeline.
“Gabriel!” I whisper-shout in a panic-laced tone, my voice higher than I meant.
He doesn’t even flinch. “It’s fine, Bumper,” he says calmly, reaching over to give me the panda stuffie I packed. “It’s just a little turbulence, nothing to be scared of. I got you.”
I’m not okay. My chest is tight, and my breath is shallow, but Gabriel doesn’t let go. “Think of it like the carnival,” he continues. “Like a roller coaster? Close your eyes and imagine that. You’re in control.”
I do as he says—mostly because I don’t know what else to do.
Closing my eyes, I try to shut out the rattling of the plane.
Instead, I picture a roller coaster, the thrill of the climb, the rush of the drop.
I focus on that sense of excitement, trying to trick my brain into seeing this as something fun instead of terrifying.
The plane shakes again, but then it settles.
The turbulence passes, and Gabriel’s voice breaks through the quiet. “See, perfectly fine.”
* * *
When we finally land in Italy, I can’t help but let out a huge sigh of relief. I’m exhausted, but the worst is over.
I feel like collapsing the moment I step off the plane, Aura tucked against my chest in her sling, my knees wobbly like I just ran a marathon.
I nearly fall to the ground, holding Aura, when I step off the plane, my legs feeling like jelly. I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything, but I really thought my life was over during that period of turbulence.
“You did it, Bumper! I’m proud of you.” Gabriel says, his voice filled with pride.
The compliment hits me harder than I expected. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that until now. Gabriel’s praise feels like a hug around my heart, and it makes the anxiety worth it.
I follow Gabriel to the luggage claim area, pushing Aura in her convertible car seat stroller. I tell Aura all about what is around us while Gabriel waits to grab our suitcases.
Traveling with a baby requires so much more than you can imagine, so Gabriel has to wait longer for the suitcase that holds all of his daughter’s belongings.
“Okay, girls, let’s head to the villa.”
We get the first rental car available, and nearly thirty minutes later, we arrive at a gate where Gabriel scans a card that opens the gate.
“Gabriel, where are we?” I ask, eyes wide as I take in the surroundings.
He smiles. “Welcome to my family’s compound, Bumper. Don’t worry, you won’t have to see my overbearing family any more than you feel comfortable. We’re staying at my house.”
We drive past several large homes and gardens before pulling up to one in particular—massive, sprawling, and impossibly beautiful. Its everything I could have imagined and more. Right in the heart of Lake Como.
“Gabriel, you never told me you are rich.”
He chuckles loudly, and I jump, startled by the sound. “Mills, I am hardly rich. My family. They own one of the biggest vineyards in Lake Como. They are the ones who are rich.”
I blink at him in awe. “Well, this is a real treat.”
As we step out of the car, I breathe in the warm Italian air and feel something shift inside me.
Maybe this trip isn’t going to be about fear. Maybe it’s going to be about falling—into a new place, into this new chapter, maybe even… into something more with Gabriel.