21. THE ONE WITH NO OTHER OPTION
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
THE ONE WITH NO OTHER OPTION
WestParkerComedy is tagged in a video: Okay, but @HexedHeroine was there and we didn’t get to see any banter… WHY?
Comment: give the people what they want!
Frankie loses her shit, in a good way, when I tell her I’m going on tour with West.
Jesus Christ, I’m going on tour with West Parker…
What am I doing?
Klines is busy for a Monday night, but they squeeze us into a corner booth near the bar, where it’s at least loud enough to drown out the sound of Frankie’s squeals. “Yes, yes, yes! This is gonna be so good!” She reaches across the table and smacks me on the arm. “Told you so!”
I let her have her moment… again, taking a sip of the cold pint of beer I ordered the second we sat down. “Let me know when you’re done boasting, and I’ll give you the details.”
We’re both on our next drink and halfway done with our margherita pizza by the time I get to the part about not addressing the dating rumors.
“Jo,” Frankie says like a warning as she puts her napkin on her plate.
“What?” I ask, confused by the look on her face.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Frankie knows me too well.
I know she can see the turmoil behind my calm stare.
My head cocks to the side involuntarily, and Frankie sighs, rolling her eyes.
“You haven’t been in a relationship since Dylan, who never wanted to post anything about you online, even though you lived together, and now you’re about to dive into some online fake-dating situation for all the world to see?
” She pauses, waiting to make sure I don’t have anything to add…
I don’t. “Are we sure that’s healthy for you? ”
I haven’t healed from Dylan, but I’m not still pining after the dude or anything—fuck him, but it does sting, knowing no matter what I did or who I became, I would never be good enough for him.
Dylan proposed to my replacement at the last Olympics on international television.
It was all over the internet—completely impossible to avoid.
They’d started dating three months after we broke up, and there’s always been plenty of their relationship plastered across their accounts to know she’s an Olympic skier from France.
Blonde, gorgeous, comes from money. She’s perfect…
Her name’s fucking Céline, for Christ’s sake—she’s everything his parents wanted for him, and she even came with two gold medals to match Dylan’s!
Someone literally commented on their announcement: King of Summer and Queen of The Snow are GETTING MARRIED!!!
He’s an Olympic swimmer, and I was the college girlfriend who would hold him back, who didn’t fit into his world. Everyone I love eventually leaves me.
Frankie is and will always be the only exception, so I guess it’s only fair she also gets to be the one to ask me the hard questions I don’t want to answer.
“I don’t know.” I shake my head, pushing a piece of sliced tomato around on my plate with a fork until I look up to find Frankie staring.
The worry in her eyes is enough to make me want to vomit—I’m fine.
I’ll be fine. “But what’s my other option here, Frank?
” I hope she has an answer, but I know it’s not her job to figure my life out for me.
I sigh and drop my fork on the plate and push it to the side.
“If I stay home, I accept a $10,000 severance package with insurance that expires at the end of the year, walk with just over two-grand from West, I still have to deal with the fallout of that video, and worry about finding a job before I have to dip into my savings.” The severance from Vyce is a bigger slap in the face than I’d expected.
My rent alone, while cheaper than normal for Salem, would still eat half that by the end of the year.
I’m lucky to have the savings I do, and if I had to, I could definitely live off it for a while, but I wanted to buy a house—I wanted something that was mine, that no one could take from me.
“If I go on tour and let people assume whatever they want, I give myself the financial freedom to look for the job I deserve, not just the one I need. It’s too late to hope that my next employer won’t know about Hex, so now I’ve got to find the few and far between who would be willing to hire someone who looks like me, and now has the online footprint I do…
” The corporate world can’t stand women, add in my tattoos and an unwillingness to be pushed around by men, and I’m their worst nightmare.
Hex is just another reason on their list to never take me seriously.
“I have the opportunity to make a buttload of money, and if this goes bad, at least I walk away with something this time. It’s not just a broken heart and a lonely Boston apartment with a nice view. ”
I wonder if she can hear the unspoken words inside my head. If I can prove to the world this didn’t break me, maybe it won’t. When will I get tired of trying to prove myself? When will I ever just feel like I’m enough?
The worried look on Frankie’s face morphs into something I can handle. Understanding. She reaches across the table, and I let her take my hand. “You’ll tell me if it gets too hard, right?”
I squeeze her hand and nod. “Always.”
We finish up dinner, give each other a hug, and I watch as Frankie pretends to walk in the direction of her apartment a few blocks away, but instead of turning left at the intersection like she’s supposed to, she slips into a dark-blue-almost-black Honda Accord.
I text her when I get on my train to Salem.
Me
I saw you.
Tell Sam I hope he’s at least able to make you come tonight.
Frankie
I’m willing to bet he’ll try… which is… better than nothing.
Not everyone gets lucky enough to go on tour with the man who gave them six orgasms in one night, JoJo LOVE YOU!
Me
Make him wear a condom, remember your birth control, and take Plan B just in case. I’m willing to let you sleep with your stupid ex, but I am NOT helping you raise Sam from insurance sale’s bastard baby. Love you too
The second I’m home with a clean face and brushed teeth, I crash into bed and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.
I don’t think about the six mind-blowing orgasms West gave me. I don’t wake up to go pee in the middle of the night. I don’t worry about all the shit I have to do in the morning. I don’t even remember dreaming.
I sleep until the sun peeks through my closed curtains, a beam of light shining directly into my eyes when they open.
But now it’s Tuesday morning… and there’s no more hiding from the world.