Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
‘Iknow you already have before and after-school clubs on the ideas list, but how about holiday clubs?’ Leaning forward in his chair, Adam tapped the large piece of paper covering the table.
‘I did a bit of maths last night, and roughly we could charge what, twenty-five pounds a day per child? Say, thirty kids in holiday club for forty days a year, well, taking off staffing costs, that could make the school between ten and twenty thousand.’
‘Great, good idea. Write that down, Adam.’ Jonathan grinned as he threw a marker pen at him.
Gemma couldn’t help but smile to see the transformation in Jonathan.
In just the couple of days since he held that meeting in the hall, he had relaxed.
He was smiling and talking to his colleagues more than he ever had before.
Instead of shutting himself away in his office yesterday, he’d roamed the school, helping walk Year four down to the swimming pool and spending time outside on the playground during break and lunchtimes.
He was getting to know his staff, the children, and the way the school worked in general.
She looked around the group of people huddled around the lunch tables Jonathan had pushed together in the middle of the hall, and for the first time since Jonathan had told her about the deficit, she felt hopeful.
If nothing else, working together like this had already brought the school closer together.
Everyone felt the difference; people had mentioned it to her.
It may have only been Thursday that they’d had the emergency staff meeting, but the camaraderie between them all had grown, and everyone was determined to do their bit to help the school and to save people’s jobs.
As she turned back to look at the large sheet of paper covered with ideas on how to save or make money, she caught Jonathan’s eye; his smile immediately slipping as a sadness flashed across his face.
He felt it too, then. He felt the loss she did.
He wondered ‘what if’ too. What if the circumstances had been different?
What if they hadn’t met at school? What if.
..? She looked away and tried to focus on how everyone was working together again, tried to let the warmth fill her heart again.
‘How about we try to limit supply?’ Lydia asked. ‘I know people get ill and can’t help when they do, but we could pull together more? Perhaps cut PPA and step in to cover classes instead.’
Jonathan shook his head. ‘No, PPA can’t be compromised. That’s a statutory right for all teachers. I, though, will step in and cover lessons whenever possible. I can always take office work home to complete.’
A murmur of appreciation swept across the table, and Gemma felt her heart warm at the thought of him sacrificing his own time ahead of others.
‘Right, I think that’s enough for this morning.
Adam has spoken to a contact of his about hiring the hall on Sundays for a music school, and I’d like to strike while the iron is hot, so we’re going to head out to a meeting with him.
If it goes well, we should be able to pull in a significant amount of money in rental terms. I’ll also pick up lunch for everyone on our way back.
’ Pushing his chair back, Jonathan stood up.
‘Well, we can make a start on auditing the resources in the meantime, then. What do you say, everyone?’ Bertie looked around the group as everyone nodded. ‘Great, let’s do this.’
As the hall cleared, Gemma gathered up her papers and notebook before standing.
‘Gemma, could I have a quick word, please?’ Jonathan kept his voice casual as he cleared away the pens.
‘Yes, of course.’ Hanging back, Gemma waited until they were alone in the hall before walking across to him. ‘Is everything okay?’
After slipping the last of the pens back into their packet, he indicated the chair beside him, and once she’d sat down, he lowered himself into the chair beside her and clasped his hands in his lap. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’
Gemma frowned. ‘What do you mean? The hardest part is over. You’ve told everyone what’s going on, and everyone’s working together to try to solve it. If we can’t, then at least we know we’ve tried.’
‘I don’t mean the school and filling the deficit, I mean this...’ He saved his hand between them. ‘Us.’
‘Oh.’ Placing her notebook on her knees, she gripped its edges tightly. What was he asking of her? ‘You want me to walk away from my job?’
Jonathan blinked and shook his head vehemently. ‘What? No! Nothing of the sort!’
‘Then what?’ She smoothed the edges of the folded paperwork sitting on top of her notebook. ‘I’ve been trying to keep out of your way. You have mine too. I’ve noticed that. What else can we do but avoid each other?’
‘That’s just it, Gemma. I don’t think I can avoid you any longer. I don’t think I can lie to myself anymore.’
She snapped her head up and watched him drag the palm of his hand over his face. Was he saying what she thought he was? But it wouldn’t work, couldn’t work. It couldn’t. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying I want more. I’m saying I want to see where this... us... leads. I don’t want to have to creep around each other pretending we both don’t feel that same spark, that same connection.’ He swallowed. ‘You do feel that, don’t you?’
She nodded and reached her hand out towards him as he did the same. She watched as he enveloped her hand in his, their fingers interlocking. She felt the warmth from his skin transferring to her, filling her chest. ‘I do. I really do.’
‘Then why don’t we just see where it leads?’ He reached for her other hand, too.
Staring at their hands, gripping one another in the small space between their chairs, Gemma wanted to tell him she agreed.
She wanted to launch herself at him, feel his arms wrap around her, feel his lips brush against hers.
But it couldn’t work, not now. She met his gaze.
‘What about the school? What if we can’t find the money?
What if you have to make people redundant? We can’t take that risk.’
For what felt like minutes but was likely only seconds, Jonathan looked down, staring at their clasped hands. ‘You’re right. I know you are.’
As hard as it was, she nodded. ‘It would mean your job would be on the line if redundancies were inevitable. I’d lose credibility, but I’d find another job. You, though, might not be able to as a headteacher. I can’t stand by and let that happen.’
‘But...’
Setting her jaw, she shook her head. ‘You know I’m right.’
Gently, he let go of her hands, stood up and leaned down again, placing his lips against her forehead.
Gemma closed her eyes and relished the moment, the feeling of his lips on her skin, the feeling of his warmth close to her. It was taking every ounce of self-control she had not to jump up and wrap her arms around him, have him hold her, to kiss him back.
And then he was gone. The cool air of an unheated school hall in spring surrounded her once more, and she was alone in the large room. Swivelling in her chair, she watched the door leading out into the corridor slowly close. It was the right thing to do. It was. It had to be.