13. Alice
Alice
I’m staring at my phone, still bewildered by the strange text exchange, when there’s a knock on the door.
It’s been over four years since I last saw his name flash across the screen of my phone, and when it came through earlier today, I dropped it. On the rug, thank goodness. I do not want to pay to fix the screen.
After we graduated, I clung to my phone for months like it was my only lifeline, waiting, hoping, praying that he would text or call me, only he never did.
I was afraid to be without it, and even kept the volume on high just in case.
And you know how in movies characters pick up their phones repeatedly to see if there is any communication from the person they’re waiting on?
Yeah, that was me. It was unhealthy. It became a habit that was hard to break. But I did. With time, I got over it.
Until today.
I’ve stared at our text exchange until it blurred.
Making my way to the door, I peek through the peephole first to make sure it’s him. I have no idea why I said yes to him picking me up, but here we are. Thank God, Kelli isn’t home. I’m not sure we’d all leave here unscathed if she saw him at the door.
There, on the other side, is Ryder in business casual clothes.
We both agreed that we should dress a little nicer and less sporty for the news segment, but I didn’t expect him to look so polished, so good.
Charcoal-gray slacks, a pastel teal button-down, a black leather belt with dress shoes, and his hair is perfectly styled.
I hate how good he looks, and I hate that I want to slide down the backside of this door and curl up into a ball instead of opening it.
He leans forward, knocks again, and I jump at the sound.
It’s now or never. I grab my clutch and open the door.
Heat from the humidity hits me, and he instantly takes a step back, sharply sucking in air as he looks me over from head to toe.
I’m wearing a teal dress with capped sleeves, a silver belt to cinch the waist, the hem falls right above my knees, and tall silver heels.
I pretend not to notice his reaction, because what good would it do in the first place?
I lock my door and turn for the parking lot.
I’m not sure what I expected him to drive now, but there, front and center, sits the same black truck I’ve spent countless hours of my life in.
My steps falter, and Ryder reaches out a hand to straighten me.
Neither of us says anything. Why does he still have this truck?
He can afford a new one—well, anything that he wants.
He opens the door, and as I slide in, I’m hit with his cologne.
It’s not a familiar smell, but it suits him with notes of bergamot and spicy woods, and I stupidly breathe it in.
He passes in front of the truck, and before he opens his door, I let out a groan.
This was such a bad idea. Why am I subjecting myself to this?
All the way to the news station, we sit in silence. It’s awkward, and I keep berating myself for how I ended up in this situation. I can drive myself. He didn’t need to pick me up. And now he knows where I live.
The scales feel unbalanced. Therefore, I feel unbalanced.
At the news station, Brian is waiting for us in the lobby. His gaze does a double take as he looks at both of us and blinks twice. “Did you two come together?”
“Yeah, why?” Ryder asks, brows pulled down.
“Hell must have frozen over, and I missed the memo,” he declares as he walks away and leads us toward the studio.
Knowing the drill, we both sit in our assigned makeup chairs and let the people do their thing to minimize the glare on our faces.
And then before I know it, we’re mic’d up and being introduced as their first guests for the day.
The small audience cheers as we step onto the stage with the theme music playing in the background. Ryder graciously makes sure I’m seated comfortably before he settles onto the couch next to me. Instead of shifting away from him, I unconsciously cross my legs toward him.
“Welcome to Midday Tampa Bay!”
“Thank you for having us,” I tell the host, Sasha.
Meanwhile, I would be lying if I wasn’t fangirling just a little bit.
Sasha is beautiful and classically iconic.
She’s been doing this segment for years, and I’ve watched her growing up.
I glance over at Ryder. He’s amused but not feeling like I am.
She leans forward. “You know every season, we reach out to the Tarpons for guests to come on the show, and rarely do they give us access to their people. Color us surprised when this year they said yes! Yes, to our hometown heroes!”
The crowd’s volume increases again, as behind us there is a large screen and our campaign photo goes front and center.
“And that’s what you are. It’s fitting that the team latched on to your story. You both are living the American dream. Best friends who make it all the way.”
Best friends. My heart pinches at the reminder of what we’re not.
“It really has been a dream come true,” I tell her. Ryder still says nothing, but he’s looking at me like he understands how those words hurt.
“We found this picture of the two of you. You look so much younger, and you’re both in Tarpons gear at a home game.”
The next picture goes up. He and I look at it, but we already know she’s got the Halloween one.
“You went from fans to team members, and we can’t wait to hear all of the details.”
She shifts in her chair. “Let’s start with the draft.” She angles a little to look at Ryder. “I know you’ve answered some of these questions before, but everyone loves to hear about the moment. You know, the moment you get the call. What was it like hearing your name announced by the commissioner?”
He clears his throat. “Honestly, it’s all a little bit of a blur.
Everyone had said that I would go in the first round, but there was no guarantee.
I was excited and incredibly anxious at the same time.
I kept waiting and waiting in the holding area, and then the phone rang from Coach Richter.
I wasn’t expecting it because their pick was later down the line, but they traded up.
I remember answering it and hearing him ask me if I was ready to come back home to be a Tarpon, and that’s about it.
It was very overwhelming, but in the best way, and I’m glad it was all recorded, so I could play it back.
” The crowd laughs. “When the commissioner announced my name, and the crowd cheered, it was surreal. Sully, ah, Chase Sullivan, my captain, was on the stage to hand me my hat and jersey. It was one of the greatest nights of my life.”
“Who was there with you?”
“My mom was with me, and a handful of my teammates from Clemson, who were also in the draft pool.”
“Alice”—she looks my way—“did you watch the draft? What was it like seeing your childhood friend have his dream come true?”
Oh no.
Do I lie or tell the truth? I can feel his gaze boring into the side of my head.
I shouldn’t feel nervous about this answer, but I do.
What does it matter if I watched the draft?
It’s no secret that I love football, and that’s an exciting night.
And so what if I happened to tear up for him?
I teared up for a lot of people. They make those human interest stories emotional on purpose.
“Yes, I did watch the draft.” I give her one of my show smiles.
“And honestly, it’s an indescribable feeling when you watch your friends in those moments.
” Indescribable in a way that I don’t want him to know.
Although we were no longer friends, I was still overcome with pride and joy for him. “I was very happy for him.”
“You never told me you watched the draft,” he says.
I shrug my shoulders in a carefree way for the camera. Meanwhile, I’m dying on the inside that he now knows. “Well, you never asked.”
The crowd laughs again.
“How about you, Alice? What was that moment like when they told you you’ve made the team?”
I smooth my hands over my skirt. “I would say less exciting and anxious and just all-out stressful. This year there were only seven spots available. We’re all sitting together after weeks of intense camps where it’s one long audition of performance, fitness, interview skills, and overall character analysis of our social media accounts.
They had whittled us down to twelve, and one by one, we had to wait to be called in.
If we’d made the team, we returned to the group and celebrated, but for those who didn’t, it was bittersweet because we’d all become friends, too.
But this is how it is for a sport that you try out for, right?
It took a few days for it all to settle in, and once it did, I couldn’t stop smiling. ”
“Same question back to you, Ryder. What were your thoughts when you heard she had made it?”
He rubs his hand over his hair, and even though he messed it up, it still looks perfect. “Yeah, I saw it on the team’s social media account before I saw the roster posted online. I was proud of her. Cheerleading is hard, especially at this level, but I always knew she could do it.”
Did he look on purpose? Or did he happen to run across it while death scrolling? His gaze bounces my way for just a second, and it’s there I see the truth. He looked. He looked for me, like I watched for him. While this doesn’t change anything between us, it does make me feel less silly.
“What was the first thing the Tarpons told you both?”
Ryder chuckles. “This one is for you, Sully.” He glances at the camera and then back to Sasha. “He was very adamant that I read the organization’s handbook.”
“The handbook.” She laughs. “That isn’t what I was expecting, but I guess every organization has one. Alice?”
“Oh, the same.” I grin. “There are a lot of rules to abide by.” And with that thought, I flip my hair over my shoulder and move so the camera gets a flattering angle.
“What if we break the rules today?” Sasha says conspiratorially.