17. Alice
Alice
Living in Florida, Kelli and I get a lot of emails from bathing suit brands wanting us to partner with them. While a lot of girls have no problem flaunting and flouncing around in a suit for social media, it’s never really been my thing. But today, we’ve both decided to go for it.
We’ve actually declared today as influencer day.
We’ve got the time, we’ve got the products, and we have the perfect backdrop.
A company called BaeCruise Boat Rentals reached out to us and offered the use of their eboats for social media, and in return, for any reservations that came in because of our pictures, we’d get a certain percentage of the sale.
We looked into their cute eboats and packages, which can include food and drinks, and we decided to take them up on the offer.
For the products, we partnered with a sunglasses company, a belly chain company, a tinted lip balm with sunscreen company, a company that has monogrammed items—we both have a beach bag with our name on it and a matching towel, and a sparkling energy drink.
We also invited Danica. After the Mighty Monarchs event, she let us know that anytime we needed a photographer, she’d love to help us at a very reasonable price.
The three of us have just checked in with the boat company when I hear a familiar voice behind me.
“Well, this is a surprise.” His tone isn’t necessarily one of excitement, but it isn’t annoyance either. I turn to find Ryder frowning at Sully, as they stand in the sand under the shade of a palm tree.
“What are you doing here?” I ask them. I’m wearing the first bikini of the day with a sarong wrapped around my waist. It suddenly feels very revealing as Ryder’s gaze travels down and back up the length of me.
“Danica told Sully, Sully told me when we pulled in, and here we are.” His cheeks turn pink, which tells me he’s telling the truth.
“But why?” I look at Sully as he pulls out a pair of sunglasses and slips them on.
“Why? Because this sounds like a good time, and we thought we’d join you.” Sully grins.
I look back at Ryder, and he looks like he’d rather have the ground swallow him whole.
“Why?” His face falls as he decides to answer me, too. “Because I have to do what he tells me to do.”
“That sounds a lot like hazing,” Kelli chimes in, and now I’m irritated on Ryder’s behalf.
I look over at Sully. “He’s a paid professional who earned his place on this team. Why does he have to do what you tell him during his time off?”
I know I sound defensive, but I don’t want them here. It makes me uncomfortable to know that Ryder will be watching me. This is basically a photo shoot, and it’s weird.
“He could have said no,” Sully tells me, and as I glance at Ryder, he’s shaking his head in defeat. “Besides, all he does is spend time holed up in his house. He needs to get out and get some fresh air.”
“You bought a house?” I ask before I can stop myself. I don’t want to know any more details about him. I don’t want to think about a life that could have been, that should have been.
“He did,” Sully answers for him. “It’s on this giant-ass lake, and he never spends time with his teammates.”
Giant lake.
My heart suddenly feels like it’s being squeezed tight.
I know which lake it is. He always said his dream home would be on this lake. White Egret Lake. Our lake. My nose starts stinging. I will not cry in front of him. I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that this hurts me. Four years later, he can still somehow hurt me.
He doesn’t make eye contact with me and stares over my shoulder.
“If they’re going too, we’ll also need them to sign a waiver.” All of us turn to look at the boat owner who’s standing in the wooden hut, but he’s just staring at Sully all wide-eyed.
“Come on, let’s go get settled.” Kelli loops her arm through mine to lead me away.
“The lake,” I whisper.
“Say the word, and I’ll ask them to leave,” she whispers back.
We really should tell them to go, that they aren’t invited, but I think about the Mighty Monarch posts that have them in them and how much traction those got.
If we let them come, we can collaborate with them for larger exposure, which in turn will generate more money.
For both of us. Kelli can use the money just as much as I can.
“No, it’s fine. But we are one hundred percent going to use them.”
Stopping, I turn us back toward the boat office. Ryder warily watches me approach.
“Hey, Dylan, do you have shirts in their size? Let’s get them branded.”
Dylan’s smile stretches from ear to ear. “I do. Gentlemen, which color would you prefer?”
“Alice, what color do you want me to wear?” Ryder asks, knowing everything about this situation is awkward.
Dylan pulls out a few options. “Let’s go with the cream-colored shirt.” Neutrals and warm colors go great with golden hour, plus they won’t be a distraction to the color of the swimsuits.
Both guys whip off their shirts to put the new ones on.
I’ve seen Ryder without a shirt many times, but I’ve never seen him look like this, and I have to force my tongue to stay in my mouth.
His skin is tanned from being outside. He has muscles stacked on muscles.
His abs are so well-defined they blend into the ridges of his rib cage, and he has that “V” that points straight south.
He is the perfect specimen of a man, and I hate that my lower stomach clenches and that I suddenly have butterflies to be near him.
Just as quick as his shirt comes off, the new one is on.
Sully hands his shirt to Danica, and Ryder’s gaze catches on my bag before he hesitantly holds his out to me.
I take it and shove it in. It’s warm. I’m certain it smells like him, and now everything in my bag will too.
Why does holding a piece of his clothing suddenly feel intimate?
“We’re all set whenever y’all are,” Dylan tells us, and the five of us follow him down to a dock.
The eboat is adorable, and it’s pink. It seats up to ten, and it’s decorated for a girls’ night, as that’s what we told them.
There are pretty throw pillows, and there’s a table in the middle set with a tablecloth, fresh flowers, and an array of food chosen for us in advance.
In the back is a cooler. Kelli adds the sparkling energy drinks we’ve brought, and we all settle in.
Sully has decided he’s the captain and whips out a captain’s hat from his back pocket as he sits behind the steering wheel.
“Oh, don’t look surprised. If Danica is taking pictures and videos of the two of you, then someone has to drive the boat.”
He’s not wrong. In my mind, we were parked somewhere, but this is even better. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that they’re here.
“Oh, that’s not what we’re looking at,” Ryder teases him, and Danica laughs.
Danica.
When did she see him, and when did she talk to him about today? It’s not like they are friends.
Dylan gives us a brief rundown, and then Sully drives us out and away from the dock.
All of us are quiet. Maybe it’s the salt air blowing in my hair, maybe it’s the scenery, or maybe it’s because it’s about to be the golden hour, but I lower my walls and allow myself to sit back and enjoy the ride through and around the mangroves.
Next to me, Ryder has his arm stretched out across the back of the seat.
He doesn’t even complain when I lean against him.
Eventually, Sully slows the boat, and we come to a stop.
“This looks like a good place, don’t you think?” he asks.
“A good place for what?” Kelli looks around, not seeing anything that interests her.
“To go swimming.”
“Feel free to swim to your heart’s content. Alice and I are not swimming.”
“Then what’s the point of the bikinis if you’re not getting in the water?” He looks confused.
“Chase, we’re photographing them in the bikinis, not them in the water where no one can see the bikinis.” Danica tries to dumb it down for him.
“Oh, now I get it. That makes sense,” he says.
“But you’re not wrong.” Danica stands. “The light here is good, and I can get a few of them on the front of the boat.”
The first bikini I have on is navy with cherries on it, and the edging is red. With my hair down, I wrap a red scarf over my head and tie it in the back. Both of us set the scene with our products. I slip on the sunglasses and get into place.
“Ryder, will you please hand me a drink out of the cooler?” I ask him.
“Sure,” he mumbles, getting up to do as I’ve asked.
From Sully’s phone, he cranks up some country music, and Danica gets to work.
She takes pictures of us, the products, and asks Sully to slowly drive the boat so she can get some video content.
She then asks Kelli and Ryder to swap places.
She hands him a drink, smooths down the back of his shirt with the company logo on it, and just like all the other times, we’re taking pictures together.
It’s easy to pretend that I’m smiling at him because of the camera, but really, I’m smiling at him because I want to.
It’s been such a long time, and while things are still awkward between us, it’s nice to have a moment too when they are not.
“Too bad the Tarpons can’t use these too,” Danica says, looking at the digital screen of her camera. “They look great.”
“What do you mean?” Sully is staring at her like she’s sprouted two heads.
“Just that outside the Tarpons events, some lifestyle pictures would be nice too.”
“If you say so.” His brows are drawn. He doesn’t understand what she’s saying, and looking at Ryder, he’s not going to be the one to explain it to him.
As for Kelli, Danica has her stand behind Sully, where she gets cute full-body pictures of her suit.
She sits on his lap. He looks suddenly horrified.
She pretends that she’s driving the boat, and at one point she snatches his hat off his head and puts it on.
He plays along, and I know all of these are going to do well.
When we decide we’ve got enough, Ryder and I both stand to move inside the boat when suddenly it lurches, and we both end up in the water.
As I’m surfacing, he’s right there next to me, his hands reaching for me.
“You okay?”
“Yes, just shocked this happened.” He holds me while I reach for my glasses as they’re falling off and my scarf, which is floating next to me.
“Are you really, though?” he says flatly.
The water is warm. He is warm.
“Sully, why?” I call up to him as all three of them watch us and laugh. I know my makeup is waterproof, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying that I have black streaks running down my face. I wipe underneath my eyes as he continues to hold me.
“It wasn’t me!” He points at Kelli.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, but I can see in her eyes she’s not sorry at all. She did this on purpose, and I’m going to have to kill her later.
Click. Click. Click.
Danica has decided to embrace the moment, and well, I guess I can too.
Kicking up on the water, I push away and down on Ryder to dunk him.
I’m laughing as he drags me under with him and then wraps himself around me.
I can’t open my eyes because of the salt, but for a second, I squeeze them tighter and hug him.
Our feet hit the sand on the bottom. It turns out it’s not deep here, and he pauses for a second to hug me back.
One arm bands around me, while his hand on the other palms the back of my head.
He holds me against him. I can feel his heartbeat through the shirt, and then he shoots us to the surface for air.
“Did you think that was funny?” he asks, with drops of water clinging to his lashes and his lips, and I laugh because I did. “Two can play this game.”
Next thing I know, I’m being launched in the air, and I splash down ten feet away from him.
I laugh some more when I come up, and he meets me halfway, pulling me into him, and unconsciously I wrap my legs around his waist. His hands fall underneath my thighs to help hold me up.
In his arms, we say nothing. We stare at each other for a moment, and with the natural lighting, I’m greedy, soaking up the new little details about his face that I once knew so well.
He has more freckles dusted across his cheeks, his jawline appears stronger, and on the right side there is a tiny scar.
His skin is smoother, and his eyebrows are thicker, and well, he just looks older.
Older, and I missed the changes when they happened.
I know I shouldn’t, but I’m overcome with sadness.
“What happened here?” I run my finger over the scar.
“Shaving,” he says, barely moving his lips. Lips that are still wet and look inviting. “You changed the color of your hair,” he counters. His fingers slide over my butt and up my back to brush against the ends.
“Not really.” I shrug. “Just added some subtle highlights.”
“I like it.”
His cheeks flush at the admission, and my heart thumps hard in my chest. Why do I long for him so?
And what is this longing? Is it a longing for what we used to have?
Is this nostalgic yearning? Or am I longing for what I wish we could have going forward?
I know how good we are as friends. Or . . . am I longing for something more?
“Come on, let’s get you back on the boat.” He smiles at me. It’s tender, full of kindness, and my nose starts burning.
I will not cry.
I hold his shoulders as he swims us over and helps me up onto the boat. Kelli hands me my towel, and she has one brow raised. “What are we friends now?” she asks, but only I hear her. I don’t answer her back. What would I say? I have no idea what we are. After all, she’s the one who dumped us.
A couple of hours later, Danica sends over the photos.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t these.
The formal photos of Kelli and me look great.
All of the products are standouts, well positioned, and will get clicks without a doubt.
But it’s the pictures of Ryder and me that I can’t take my eyes off.
We don’t look like we hate each other. We look like we’ve known each other forever.
We look like we’re so much more. We’re both constantly leaning toward each other.
His eyes are always on me, and in the shots in the water, we look .
. . we look like we’re undoubtedly together.
We look affectionate, loving, and . . . we look insanely hot.
I thought a shirtless Ryder was something, but a wet Ryder is something completely different.