Chapter Eleven
Alexis shoved the door closed behind them and Birdie stumbled into her.
Whoever the footsteps belonged to didn’t matter at all. If they’d seen them rushing out of the kitchen with their fingers tangled as Alexis led Birdie to her bedroom, they were in for it.
Frankly, Alexis couldn’t think beyond the pressure building between her hips.
Her body was a storm just waiting to break.
Which was why when Birdie hesitated, pulling back just for the quickest moment to say, “Are you sure you want to do this?” Alexis muttered, “Stop talking,” and leaned in to capture Birdie’s mouth with hers.
Lips brushed against lips. Tongues slid over each other, and Alexis groaned low. All she needed was Birdie’s skin against hers, friction and pressure and touch.
She didn’t care that what they were doing was wrong. Possibly even forbidden. She didn’t care if Elise or Vivian found out. She didn’t even care that she didn’t really know Birdie all that much. She just wanted to do something with the feeling taking over her body.
Which was why she let her hands roam and why she pushed Birdie toward the door until her back was up against the wood. It was why she slid her hands down Birdie’s ass before drifting them to the front.
“You know the last time we did—”
“Didn’t we just discuss this?” Alexis muttered into Birdie’s mouth, cutting her off. She slipped her hands under Birdie’s pajama top until her fingers reached the swell of her breasts. Her skin was silky smooth and creamy soft. “Didn’t we agree that we’re not going to talk?”
“I didn’t agree to anything,” Birdie said.
“So, you don’t want to have sex?”
“I do,” Birdie replied quickly. “I just think we should talk about it first.”
But Alexis wasn’t listening.
She pulled Birdie’s pajama top over her head, grateful for the absence of a bra and even more grateful to see pink peaked nipples. Birdie mumbled something about not having any regrets, and Alexis bent down until her mouth reached Birdie’s right nipple and sucked on it.
“I’m just saying,” Birdie went on, but her words were suddenly shaky. “I don’t want you to do what you…” She stopped speaking altogether when Alexis bit softly on her tit.
Pleased with herself, Alexis smiled against Birdie’s breast and then straightened again. She kissed Birdie’s neck, then her collarbone, then the soft, sensitive spot at her sternum. Her hands ran up and down Birdie’s sides, nails clawing as they moved over Birdie’s soft, round hips.
Meanwhile, Birdie didn’t do much. Well, apart from gasping every time Alexis kissed her.
Alexis didn’t need her to do anything. She was the one who had kissed Birdie in the kitchen, who had suggested they go to her bedroom.
She was the one who wanted to take charge.
It was Alexis who needed to get control back after clearly losing it earlier.
And so, she smoothed her fingers down the front of Birdie’s legs again and squeezed her thighs.
Just once. Because right after, Alexis pulled Birdie’s shorts down and her panties too, and then dragged her right hand along Birdie’s center.
“Oh my, that’s nice.” Birdie circled her arms around Alexis’s neck and tilted her head back against the door. She closed her eyes and parted her lips. Alexis took it as a sign to keep going. And so, she slipped a finger into Birdie’s soaked folds and began exploring.
“Oh my,” Birdie muttered again, this time louder despite Alexis being serious about the whole no-talking thing.
Not that Birdie seemed to give a shit about the rule, because she spread her legs wider, allowing Alexis to deepen the pressure, and then added, “I’m so glad I went to the kitchen tonight. ”
Alexis shook her head. But she was glad, too.
She just wasn’t about to tell Birdie that.
Not that she had to, because she was showing her just how glad she was by slipping a finger deep inside her.
And then another. She was showing Birdie how worthwhile the visit to the kitchen really was by finding her clit and pressing against it with her thumb.
And she kept showing her until Birdie leaned forward and bit down on Alexis’s shoulder.
Alexis embraced the sting of her teeth and let her bite down harder. Just like Alexis let Birdie roll her hips against her, let the friction build and build and build until Birdie’s small moans broke through, tangled in Alexis’s own low growls.
“Don’t stop,” Birdie breathed. Her body was moving even faster now, undulating with Alexis’s fingers still inside her. “Please, for the love of France, don’t stop.”
And Alexis didn’t.
She continued pumping her fingers in and out with one hand while she gripped Birdie’s moving hip with her other. She continued, bringing in a third finger until Birdie’s body shuddered. Alexis slid in and out until Birdie’s body locked up and then softened and then locked up again.
Birdie whispered profanities that would make a sailor look twice, but even then, Alexis didn’t stop. It was only when Birdie stopped shuddering and sagged against her that Alexis slipped her fingers out and licked them clean.
Which made Birdie smile. She had a gorgeous smile that was shaped like a soft petal. Alexis had never complimented her smile before, and she wondered if it would be strange if she did so now. Yes, she thought. It would be very strange. But even if it weren’t, she wouldn’t get the time.
Before Alexis knew it, they were already at the bed. Birdie had her hands on the hem of her black satin pajama top. And then Alexis’s clothes came off in a rushed flurry and she was standing, naked, still holding onto Birdie’s waist.
“My turn,” Birdie said.
And then, the next moment, Alexis was on her back, watching as Birdie slipped onto the bed with her fists pressed into the mattress on either side of Alexis.
And then Birdie’s head was between Alexis’s thighs.
Her mouth was already wrapped around the bachelorette’s clit, and she wasn’t going to complain, or wonder how they’d gotten there, or even tell Birdie not to talk again if she did.
In fact, she wanted her to talk, to say something wild and dirty and inappropriate.
But there was no talking. Birdie’s mouth was preoccupied.
She licked the length of Alexis, sucked on her clit, and hummed against her sex like she was auditioning for a musical.
She stroked her fingers along Alexis’s thigh and then smoothed both hands over Alexis’s stomach and then gripped her legs again and opened her up even more.
Birdie did everything Alexis had ever wanted and more. She undid her like a fucking present and wrapped her up again. And then undid her again when Birdie decided to slide a finger deep into her.
Alexis wanted to reach down and feel Birdie’s hair slip through her fingers. But she found herself unable to move. She was paralyzed. She’d never been paralyzed by anyone’s touch in her life, which was so damn surprising because this was innocent Birdie from Portland.
Book-store-owner Birdie. Can-ride-a-horse Birdie. Loves-bad-weather Birdie.
It just didn’t make sense why Alexis was so consumed by this woman. Why she suddenly felt so completely and utterly ruined by her. It was absolutely ridiculous that she couldn’t imagine anyone ever pleasing her this way again or satisfying her like this ever again.
Birdie’s fingers worked faster. Her mouth sucked harder.
And then Alexis’s body did something strange. It seized up all at once. Her breath caught in her throat, and a cry broke out before she could stop it. Her hands fisted in the sheets, her thighs clamped around Birdie’s face, and she arched her back.
It felt like a crash, like she was jumping out of a plane with a parachute tied to her back, feeling blissfully adventurous, only to realize halfway down that she’d imagined the parachute.
The panic was immediate, hot, crawling up her spine until it completely replaced the delicious feeling from earlier.
What the hell had she been thinking? How could she let Birdie touch her like that?
How could she have loved every minute of what just happened, and not simply loved in the way you loved ice cream, but the kind of love that made you want to claw at your own skin because it wasn’t enough?
It would never be enough. And how could she have thought it was a good idea to sleep with one of the contestants when she was back here for redemption?
The entire point of her being here was to rebuild her image, not torch it in a single night.
“You should go,” Alexis said, her breath ragged, her body still trembling. She rolled away from Birdie toward the end of the bed.
“Are you serious?” Birdie asked, frowning hard. She was still kneeling at the foot of the bed, her breasts brushing against the soft cotton duvet.
“Yes,” Alexis said, nodding. She didn’t get up. She simply shielded her body away from Birdie as if turning her back could turn back time. “Before anyone finds out you’re here.”
“You can’t seriously kick me out already?”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” Alexis said. “I need you to go.”
Birdie’s jaw dropped and then closed. But she didn’t say anything; she only shook her head before she stood up and gathered her pajamas from the floor.
“See you tomorrow,” Birdie muttered, raking her fingers through her hair. And then she shot Alexis one last look before she opened the door and slipped out of the room.
Alexis held her breath and waited. When she was sure the footsteps had died down completely, she pulled the sheet over her body, which was still fizzing like she’d been struck by lightning and hadn’t quite recovered.
She muttered to the ceiling, “Fantastic. Congratulations, Alexis, you’ve officially fucked up again. ”
She dragged the sheet higher over her chest and squeezed her eyes shut. Birdie had smelled like Dolce & Gabbana again. Delicious and decadent. Which made Alexis furious. Infuriated, in fact, because that smell was so familiar, a smell that had technically never left her nose since Portland.
“Ugh!” she groaned and flopped over onto her stomach.
“You’re out of your damn mind.” Her voice was muffled in the pillow, but the words were wholly correct.
She was out of her mind. Birdie wasn’t supposed to be here.
She was supposed to remain in Portland, and Alexis was never supposed to think of her again, let alone see her… let alone sleep with her.
And yet, she wanted her again. She wanted her mouth against hers, her teeth on her shoulder, her body flush against her.
Which was dangerous. Treasonous even. Alexis should be thinking about the next lavender ceremony, about strategy, about her redemption arc, and about how the world was watching her every move.
And instead, she was lying here, stark naked, imagining how quickly she could get Birdie back in this bed, maybe even tonight.
“No.” She rolled onto her back again and shook her head so hard the pillow slipped sideways. Absolutely not. Birdie goes home. Next ceremony, she’s gone.
Usually, she didn’t talk out loud to herself.
But sometimes exceptions had to be made.
She needed some sort of sounding board that gave her the illusion of clarity, and Birdie going home was the only option.
The smart option. Alexis was not going to impede her second chance for redemption because of one Dolce & Gabbana-scented woman.
Nope. She dragged the sheet higher and covered her flushed face, hoping the Egyptian cotton would save her from herself.
Unfortunately, the universe wasn’t so merciful.